FLIP - 6
Sister Fely halted herself from knocking on Amara's door when she heard her counting. The nun has been hearing her counting like this every morning and afternoon every time she's passing through her door since she looked herself in her room.
She took the chance to open the door slightly and silently to peek what she's been doing all the time. There, she found Amara who's trying to copy the dance steps on TV. And she's indeed doing well.
Umiikot-ikot ito habang nakatiklop ang isang tuhod at nakataas ang kamay na pang ballerina kasabay ang pagtalon, pagtambling at musika na nanggagaling sa TV na pinapanuod. And then she splits at the end. Ganyang-gaya nito ang nasa TV. Kulang na lang ang katawan nito.
Nakasuot si Amara ng leggings na hindi gaano ka-fitted dahil sariling tahi lang naman ito galing sa tela ng kurtina. Mukhang nararamdaman nito ang presensya niya kaya lumingon ito sa gawi nya.
"Kanina pa po ba kayo jan?" gulat nitong sabi. "Nakita nyo po ba ang ginawa ko? Ang creepy po nun ha."
Nakangiting tumango si sister Fely. "Oo hija. Magaling ka naman pa lang sumayaw ah. Bakit hindi mo ipakita sa iba?"
She grab a towel to wipe her sweat. "Wala pa po akong confidence para jan. At saka, wala naman po akong pag asa jan lalo na't nakakulong ako dito." napabuntong-hininga siya.
She also trusted this nun in front of her that's why it's okay for her to let her in since she's been kind and caring to her especially when Ean left.
The nun went to her side to comfort her. "Hija, huwag mong minamaliit ang sarili mo. Balang araw, may mag aampon rin sayo at mahahalin ka ng buo at pag aaralin ka sa magandang eskwelahan kaysa dito." pagpapalakas ng loob nito sa kanya.
"Sana nga po. Pero kailan ba 'yang balang araw na 'yan? Ang tagal naman."
"It takes time, hija." she softly smile. "sya nga pala, yung sayaw mo kanina, di ba pang gymnastics 'yon?"
She frowned and nodded. "Paano nyo nalaman?"
Sister Fely mischievously smiled to her then she face her direction. "Want to know a secret?"
Mukhang magiging maganda ang topic na yon para kay Amara dahil bakas sa mukha nito ang excitement para malaman ang sikretong iyon at buong atensyon siyang handang makinig rito.
"I used to play gymnastic before."
Her face filled with amusement. "Talaga ho?!"
Bakas sa itsura nya ang pagkamangha sa sinabi nito. Hindi kasi halata sa itsura ng madre na nag g-gymnastic ito nuon. How come did she turned into a nun? She has a beauty especially when she took her headdress called veil and that traditional white piece that covers the neck and cheeks called wimple.
"Yes. That was before but I think I can still remember the few techniques." sister Fely utter.
"Turuan nyo po ako!" giit nya saka tumayo sa harapan nito. "Gusto ko pong matuto pa!" she did some graceful turns making the nun chuckled.
"You're so persistent. May pinaghahandaan ka ba?"
Tila nabuhusan siya ng malamig na yelo at nagbaba ng tingin. "Hindi ko po alam. Hindi ko naman alam ang mangyayari sa hinaharap e. Basta nararamdaman ko pong may mararating ako dito. Hindi lang ako basta nag eenjoy kundi pangarap ko rin po talagang makapag perform sa harap ng maraming tao. I wanted... I wanted to dance with confidence in front of so many people even if it's once in my lifetime. And I think... that is my passion."
Unti-unting gumuhit ang mga ngiti sa labi ng kausap. "That's the spirit!"
Amara reminds her when she's in her age. Ganyan rin sya kagusto sa pag g-gymnast at maging desperado pang matuto.
But sadly, sister Fely didn't reach her dream to perform on stage. She was in a severely injured because she accidentally fall from the third floor stairs. It was unexpected but she had to face it. That's why there's a part from her that urges her to teach this young girl in front of her who's begging and desperate that wants to learn gymnastic.
Tumayo ito kaya agad siyang pinigilan ni Amara. "Saglit. Hindi ba kayo payag?"
Nginitian nya ito. "Tomorrow at the storage room. 5 am sharp." she said then left her room.
At first, Amara was totally confused. Kinailangan pa niyang maghukay ng kasagutan sa isip bago magets kung ano ang sinabi ng madre.
She flicked her forehead with her finger. "Ang slow ko naman."
Marahan syang napangiti nang maalala uli ang sinabi sa kanya. Bukas, maagap syang gigising para marami syang matutunan rito. Pero ang tanong, makakaya kaya niyang makalabas ng kwarto nya? Paano kung may makakita sa kanya sa storage room?
Hayae na. Usal niya sa isip. Basta matuto lang ako ng techniques, ayos na yon.
AMARA yawned and turn off her alarm clock. Halos hindi siya makatulog kagabi sa kahihintay mag ala-singko ng umaga. Ngayon lang tuloy siya nakaramdam ng pagka antok.
Hindi pwede. Focus, self. Tinapik-tapik pa nya ang pisngi para magising.
She stood up to clean herself first and choose to wear her leggings came from the curtain that she stitched last month. She tied up her hair in a ponytail to feel fresh before she starts her day ahead.
Amara excitedly and at the same time silently went out of her room with her comforter that covers her whole identity. Mahirap na. Baka hindi sya makarating sa storage room ng ala sa oras kapag may nakakita sa kanya.
Medyo malayo ang storage room at medyo may kadiliman rin ang tatahakin bago makarating kaya wala masyadong pumupunta o dumadaan sa hallway papunta sa storage room.
She knock on the door. But when she saw that it was slightly opened, she didn't hesitate to enter the storage room.
Amara gasped at what she saw. She expect the storage room to be full of things and stuff that already misused but to her surprise, the storage room is like a dance room use for different kinds of entertainment. It's also like a ballet room.
"Wow," tanging sambit niya. She was so speechless.
"Do you like it?"
Napaharap siya sa nagsalita. It's none other than sister Fely. She's leaning on the door while her arms crossed over her chest.
Wala sa sariling napatango sya dahil sa punong-puno ng pagkamangha ang sistema niya. She's wearing a freaking tight, stretchy, one-piece garment that gymnasts and other dancers wear called leotard.
Woah, ang cool.
Natawa ang madre sa itsura niya. "Hindi mo siguro inaakalang makakapag suot ako ng ganito noh?" umiling siya. "Ako rin. Sinubukan ko uling suotin pero heto, nagkasya pa rin."
Amara nodded a few times before narrowed again to the whole area of this storage room. This is not just a storage room. She bet that.
"Sister, sure ka bang storage room ito?"
Isinara nito ang pinto at lumapit sa kanya. "Hmm, actually storage room nga ito. Pero wala namang pumunta o nagtatambak ng mga gamit kaya nilinis ko. Then when the day you came here in the orphanage and lock yourself to your room, I always hear you counting like you're doing some steps on dancing every time I pass through your door. Kahapon lang ako naglakas loob na silipin ka at tama nga ang hinala ko. So nang makaalis ako kahapon sa kwarto mo, dumiretso ako dito para ituloy at gawing studio. Nakita ko na talagang willing kang matuto pa kaya nandito ka."
"Grabe naman sister, ginawa nyo talaga yon para sakin?" madamdamin siyang napatakip sa bibig at tumakbong mabilis patungo kay sister Fely para yumakap. "Salamat po ng marami!"
"Naku hija, wala 'yon. Ako dapat itong magpasalamat sayo dahil masaya akong may maturuan sa natutunan ko nuon." wika nito habang hinahaplos ang buhok niya.
She look up to her then distance herself. "Tanong ko lang ha, sister. Kaya nyo pa bang mag inat ng buto?" pinasadahan nya ng tingin ang medyo baluktot na katawan nito. "Baka mapaano po kayo nyan eh. Mukha po kasi kayong mahina na."
"Why? Do you think I'm older enough not to do those things? I'm only 35 years old, Ara." she straighten her back and did some turns while her other leg is raise then did a cartwheel. "Now, tell me I'm weak." ngisi nitong tanong sa kanya.
Nakatulala siyang nagsalita. "Hindi po." umiling-iling ito. "Pwede na po ba tayong magsimula?"
"Don't tell me you're gonna wear that?" she pointed her stitched leggings. "Anyway, here. Go change."
Sister Fely handed her a leggings and leotard. Without hesitating, she grabbed it then went straight to the comfort room to change with an ear-to-ear smile on her face.
"Kids," the nun muttered while watching her running to the comfort room. "I bet she's quick-witted when it comes to dancing."
AMARA
"Ouch! Fuck!"
Nakapamewang kong sinalubong itong baklang ito -- yep, 'bakla' since pumatol sya sa babaeng katulad ko -- kasabay ng pagbato ko ng bote ng mineral water na bullseye namang tumama sa ulo nya.
"Gago ka talaga! Tignan mo ngayon ako ginawa mo! Hindi ko maituon at maiupo ang pwet ko nang dahil sayo kaya eto, nakadapa ako ngayon na parang pagong! Bwiset!" pag rarant ko sa kanya.
"Look, nakabawi kana sa akin di ba? Masakit rin ang ano ko... itong--"
"Oh ano? Bakit ka napatigil? Sige, ituloy mo lang. I don't mind. Anong masakit sayo?" mapang-uyam kong tanong.
He gave me death glare. Paika-ika siyang umalis sa harapan ko at nagkulong sa banyo.
Simula ng makarating ako dito sa apartment, halos manghina na ang pang-upo ko nang dahil sa paglalakad. Maraming tao ang tumitingin sa akin habang ako'y kubang naglalakad pauwi.
Kinailangan ko ring kontakin ang manager ng bakery na hindi muna ako ngayon makakapagsimula dahil nga sa kagagawan ng baklang yon. First day na first day ko pa naman sa pagpapart time, bawas agad ang sweldo ko. Piste.
"HOY, pakikuha ako ng tubig. Nauuhaw ako." agad kong utos sa kanya ng makita kong lumabas ito ng banyo. Halos abutin nga ito ng isang oras sa loob.
"I can't I'm in pain."
But he didn't sound like he's in pain and I doubt that. He's more sound like he's bored or annoyed.
"Bakit, nasa kamay mo ba 'yang itlog mo at hindi mo ako maikuha ng isang basong tubig?!"
A wide grin crept to my face when he faced he with so much surprise. His eyes were wide as well.
"You're so disgusting! Kababae mong tao bastos kang magsalita?"
"Why? I'm just telling the truth." I innocently said.
Para itong nadidiring umalis at umakyat sa taas. Hays, men and their attitude. I was giving my best to crawl going to the kitchen to get some water. Napaka hudyo naman kasi nung baklang yun. Sya na nga ang may kagagawan nito sa akin, sya pang hindi mautusan! At hindi ko man lang narinig na nag sorry sya ha.
"Almost..." I was reaching the glass of water on the table but it accidentally slipped to my hand. I closed my eyes and wait for it to shatter over the kitchen floor but it didn't happen.
"That was close!" he said. Buti na lang at nasalo niya. Ang bilis naman ata niyang makababa? "You're so sloppy you know? Do you know how much this cost? Kulang pa ang atay mo para lang makabili nito. This is my personal mug for fuck sake!"
Galit ba sya? Ang oa naman siguro kapag mas mura pa ang atay ko kaysa sa personal mug nya na yun. "Then what do you expect in my situation, huh? Kasalan mo ito in the first place! Nagpapakuha lang naman ako ng tubig tapos hindi mo man lang nagawa?"
"Bakit, hindi na ba ako babalik?"
I stilled. He has a point in that. Bakit naman kasi ang gaga ko? Para namang forever na sya sa taas eh.
"Edi sana sinabi mo!" nag iwas ako ng tingin. Piling ko talaga napahiya ako dun.
My gaze went on the floor when he suddenly kneeled and draw his face near with mine. "Hindi sa lahat ng oras sasabihin ko sayo kung anong gagawin ko at kung saan ako magpunta." he went closely to me and whisper to my ears. "What if I say, I'm going to the bathroom to masturbate? Do you think you can be comfortable with it?"
Napasinghap ako. Oh gosh. This is so humiliating! How can he called me bastos when he's just the same?!
I was about to speak but he already stood up and went to the sink to wash his personal mug. So, he's acting like he's innocent and silent outside but the truth is, he's not. He's far from that. And I will gradually know what he's true identity by his roommate. Makikita ko rin ang tunay niyang ugali habang magkasama kami.
"Don't think of too many assumptions. I'm not like that. I'm just kidding." biglang bawi niya habang nakatalikod.
Ha! Too late, horny man!
"Here." may inabot sya sa akin.
"Ano 'yan?"
"Tungkod."
"Para saan?"
"You want to walk right?" I nodded. "Then use this."
Hindi ako kumibo habang nakadapa pa rin sa sahig. Mag iinarte pa ba ako? I think he's been generous. Hinablot ko sa kanya ang tungkod at may ibinaba naman siyang bowl ng tubig.
"Ano naman 'yan?"
"Tubig. You're thirsty right?" he shrugged then gestured his hand to the bowl of water in front of me. "Then enjoy drinking, little pup."
Tatawa-tawa syang umalis sa harapan ko. What? Little pup? As in, aso? "Hoy! Bwiset ka talaga! Bumalik ka dito!"
I take back what I said. Nope. He's not generous. Not at all!
STEP by step ang ginawa ko ng makababa ng hagdan. Last night, I already took an ice cubes and covered it with a face towel then put it on my cheek butt.
Until now, it feels sore to me. Looks like my bone has been broken because it's still painful.
"Oh, we meet again!"
Napatigil ako sa paglalakad nang harangin ako ni Marzena. Sya yung nakilala ko sa mall habang namimili si bakla ng furnitures.
"Hi!" pilit akong ngumiti. Dama ko pa rin ang sakit kaya wala ako sa mood ngumiti.
"Okay ka lang ba? You look pale."
"Yes, I'm fine. Anyway, Cafeteria lang ako." paalis na sana ako ng pigilan nya uli.
"Wait. Don't you know what time is it? Late na oh." tinuro nito ang orasan na nasa pambisig.
"Alam ko. Pero uunahin ko ang kauhawan ko bago ako pumasok sa klase. Sige, see you around!" I waved my hand to her. I still heard heard her muttered 'she's weird' but I don't mind.
I just bought yakult at the Cafeteria. Hindi naman ako nagtagal ron kaya pumasok na rin ako sa klase. At mukha ngang pinagpala ako ng may kapal ngayon dahil wala daw ang Prof sa first subject namin.
"AMARA! Straighten your back and knees! Point your toes!"
Miss Cathy Mariano had been scolded me many times when it's our training time. I was holding myself not to scream in so much pain I've been feeling right now.
I closed my eyes for a seconds and glance at Miss Cathy then look at my toes to correct my movements.
"Iniirapan mo ba ako?! Ha?!"
Gulat akong napatingin uli sa kanya. Oh no, she must be mistaken. Hindi ko sya iniirapan! I swear!
"Hin--"
"Ah ganon, tumatanggi ka?!" dinuro niya ako at parang ang laki ng nagawa kong kasalanan na wala naman.
She looked at everyone who's only watching me being scolded and shouted. "Kita nyo di naman di ba na inirapan niya ako?!"
Nagtinginan sila at tumango.
Napatungo ako nang may kumawalang luha sa mata ko. Of course they all in Miss Cathy's side. But I swear to God that I didn't do such a thing to her. Maybe because I'm too tired and my eyes are also exhausted for lacking of sleep that's why she just mistaken me from doing so.
"Do you have anything to say, Amara?! Am I the wrong one here?!" umiling ako nang nakatungo pa din. "Then apologize now!"
"I-I'm s-sorry, Miss C-Cathy..." even if I did nothing wrong.
I wasn't able to fight for myself. She didn't let me explain my side. Well, ganun naman kadalasan ang ibang tao. Magaling mang judge sa kapwa. Makikitid ang utak.
I sighed and wipped my tears that keeps on falling.
It's just you, Amara. Walang ibang tutulong sayo kundi ikaw lang at ang panginoon.
THE NEXT thing I new, was we're on the process to do some splits. Though my body is killing me through pain.
Oh, well back to training.
To explain split, it is a physical position in which the legs are in line with each other and extended in opposite directions. When executing a split, the lines defined by the inner thighs of the legs form an angle of approximately 180 degrees.
Shit! Can I take this?
Sa pwet pa naman medyo manggagaling ang sakit kapag nag split. Pano pa kaya kung dumoble ang sakit na nararamdaman ko?
Argh! Gago ka talagang hudyo ka!
"Gracefully, people! Try do some inhale while you're bending down and then exhale while going up."
Pigil ang pag iyak ko dahil sa pagtitiis ng sakit nang pumwesto si Miss Cathy sa likod ko at itinulak pa ang bandang ibaba ng likod ko panunahan habang naka split.
I tasted blood over my lips because I nipped and bite my lower lip to assume that if I did that, it will lessen the pain I've been feeling. But I was so wrong. Mas lalong naging masakit ang pakiramdam ko.
"That's for today, girls!"
Nakahinga ako ng maluwag nang matapos na rin ang session namin sa pag tetraining. Our team named Gymtastics and it's a very weird name but actually good.
Sa tingin ko, wala akong nagawa ng maayos sa training ngayon.
"Miss, Jacinto." our assistant coach called my attention. "May I have a word with you?"
"Yes, miss."
I followed her to the office of the coaches.
"Are you even concentrating at what you were doing? Or are you just playing gymnast to satisfy your happiness? If you're one of those, then I suggest that you may leave this team. This team are focusing about careers in life. Not for fun. We're serious here. But it seems I cannot see it through you're performance."
Napatungo ako habang magkasiklop ang mga palad. "I understand, miss. I'm just not feeling well today." nag angat ako ng tingin. "But I promise to do better next time. I'll give my very best to practice my routines as well as my performance."
I LEFT the studio with a relieve feeling. Thank God, Miss Cathy gave me a chance to do better in terms of training. I promised her that I will make them proud of my performance.
Habang naglalakad palabas ng school, bahagya akong napaatras nang may pumulupot ng braso sa braso ko.
"Hey, saan punta mo?" it's Marzena again. a.k.a. Mars. With her other friend who pulled her away from the Furniture Store.
"Dyan lang sa tabi-tabi."
She laughed. "You're witty. Madaming tabi oh."
"Anyway, bakit--"
"We found out that you're the main topic here in the campus." yung kaibigan niya ang nagsalita. "I'm Astrid."
"Amara." pagpapakilala ko. "Ano palang ibig mong sabihin?"
Nagkatinginan sila ni Mars at sabay na napabuntong-hininga.
"Yung ginawa mo kahapon. May nag video nun tapos inupload sa page ng News Gossip dito sa AU. Bakit ka kasi gumawa ng eskandalo kahapon at sa harapan pa ng mga taekwondo players ha. Buti na lang nandon si Dorry kundi, may mga bully sanang manggugulo sayo." wika ni Mars.
"Yah. Maraming pakalat-kalat dito na bullies. At kabilang na don yung anim. Si Hunt, yung leader ng gang nila at sya yung pinaka dapat mong iwasan." wika naman ni Astrid.
Si Ean? Bully pala sya dito? Ang galing nyang magpayo na lumayo ako sa mga bully tapos sya naman pala itong leader? Tuhudin ko rin kaya sya?
"As well as Theo, Philip, Zach, Aiden and Carter." pagpapatuloy niya.
Marzena grab her phone from her bag and show me some pictures. "Here. Kung hindi mo pa sila nakikita o nakikilala."
I swap the photos while she introduces me their names. "This is Hunter Santos, this is Theo Davis, Philip Alcantara, Aiden Evangelista, Zach Laurente and Carter Garcia."
Pinakatitigan ko ang huling litrato. Wait. He's familiar. Hold up! Don't tell me his... he's the guy who shared in my apartment!
Carter is his name?! Pang pogi at good boy ang tunog ng pangalan pero bakit ganon ugali nya? Hindi akma sa pangalan nya.
"He's the one who kicked your butt yesterday, right?" Astrid pointed the picture of Carter.
Tumango ako.
"Don't worry, everything's been cleaned up."
"What do you mean?"
Si Mars ang tumugon sa tanong ko. "Dorry already threatened the and other kids who try to make fun of your video and also the six guys since she's close to Theo. So in other words, the video had been deleted."
"Who's Dorry?" I want to thank him for what he did. "I wanted to thank him."
Nagkatinginan uli silang dalawa. "Uhm, Dorry's a woman."
"Oh, then let me rephrase it. I wanted to thank her."
They both chuckled while we're continue to walk pass the gate of the school.
"You're weird and funny. Anyway, tomorrow we will introduce you to her." Mars said.
We bid goodbyes as we separated our ways after we stepped out of the AU campus. And as for me, I'm on my way to the Daily Bread Bakery to dress myself as part timer.
It's not that hard as thought it was but not until my blood boils when someone entered the bakery to order some variety of bread.
~amph1trite~