Toshiro stared at the box for a few seconds. "Is that a gift for me, Misao? Man, I'm happy!"
He was about to rip the wrapper when I stopped him. "Before you open that, can I say first my favour from the deal earlier?"
"Oh right! We almost forgot." Fumihiro said.
"O-Okay…" Toshiro let go of a soft laugh.
I took a lungful of air and felt them as it filled my system, and then I let them all out. I already summoned my courage. I decided to say it right here right now I can't back-out. I am aware of the possible outcome and I came to the resolve that no matter what happened I will not stop unless I try.
"Toshiro… I like you. I can do whatever it takes for you to accept me. Please don't run away from me. That's the favour I want to ask of you."
It was silent for a very long time. Everyone's attention was on me.
"Uhm, you can open that gift if you're ready to accept me."
A loud laughter was the next thing I heard, it was Toshiro. "Stop with the prank, Misao! It doesn't suit you."
"I'm not kidding. I really like you, Toshiro."
"Eh?" Toshiro suddenly stopped laughing.
"Misao?! You're gay too?" Fumihiro chimed in. I just nodded. "Keita, do you know about this?"
"Ugh… I know that Misao is gay but I never thought that he likes Toshiro... I thought it was Youjin."
"Since when Misao?" Toshiro's face was filled with doubt, and a hint of fear.
"Since we’re first years…"
***
THE REST OF THE NIGHT, AFTER MY NOT-SO SUDDEN CONFESSION, TURNED NOTHING BUT AWKWARD. Toshiro drank way too much after that too and he's lost in his thoughts. I didn't regret my decision when I told him my feelings. It would have happened sooner or later. I want him so much I couldn't afford to see somebody else take him away. Even at the expense of our friendship.
"Misao…" I felt a light pat on my back.
"Youjin." I looked over his shoulder and I saw Keita paying our bill with Toshiro's wallet.
"Are you okay?"
I nodded. "I'm fine, why?"
He scrunched up his nose as he thought. "I know you're strong willed and you helped me a lot before with my relationship with Keita but I just want to say that if you need someone to talk to, you know, to vent out or something, You can always come to me."
"Oh… Sure. Thank you, Youjin."
Then his lips draw into a big curve. "I can buy you an ice cream sandwich if you want to."
That made me chuckle. "I'll take you up on your offer."
"Let's go guys?" We didn't notice Keita was already behind us.
"Yeah. But… Toshiro's totally wasted."
We all turn to look at Toshiro, who's currently leaning over the table completely passed out.
"Yeah, bro." Fumihiro lightly punched my arm. "Your revelation was super shocking, that's why this monkey drank a bit too much. I didn't expect that my friends could swing that way."
"Hey! That's enough. You're not any better than Toshiro!" Eisuke scolded Fumihiro. "Let's go guys. We should go home."
"How 'bout that drunkard?" Fumihiro said, pointing at his sleeping friend. He was swaying as he stood up.
"I will take him home." I volunteered.
Fumihiro threw me a suspicious eye with a glimpse of disgust. It was only for a split second but I caught on that.
"I'll take him home safely. I won't do anything to take advantage of him." I clarified monotonously.
"Misao?" It was Youjin.
"I didn't mean anything like that, bro." Fumihiro laughed awkwardly. "Anyways you were the one taking him home every time he's dead drunk."
"I said you're wasted too, right? Just stop talking man." Eisuke butt in again looking at Fumihiro with an annoyed expression.
"Yeah yeah. I will stop talking… Okay, I'll just go first. Take care on your way home." Fumihiro said his goodbye then left.
"Just ignore that idiot. He's just drunk, he doesn't know what he's saying." Keita reached out to touch my shoulder. An awkward but reassuring smile was playing on his lips.
"I will help you call a cab…" It's Eisuke.
"Thanks Eisuke but I already booked an Uber" I glanced at my phone for a second. "He'll arrive soon."
"Oh, good."
"Come on, I'll help you…"
Keita helped me carry Toshiro out from the pub to the side of the street until the car I booked arrived. I made Toshiro ride the car first then when it was my turn to go inside Keita stopped me.
"Misao…" He rubbed the back of his head. "Uhm… I can't exactly say that I support you because you and Toshiro are both my friends, and… you know, he has his own feelings and decisions too. But what I can tell you is that I understand you and I want both of you to be happy. I hope, whatever happens after this night, we'll all remain friends."
I felt a small twinge in my chest. "Thank you, Keita."
I rode in the car and we drove off.
Toshiro was out the whole ride. It was pretty dim inside the car but I can almost see how red his cheeks were. I watched his drunken face the whole time and it was still so beautiful.
The car stopped in front of his house then I paid the driver.
"Toshiro, wake up. We're already here." I shook his shoulders and his brows furrowed. "Toshiro…"
He opened his eyes slowly and a little bit trying to make out the situation. He groaned quietly then his eyes found me. "Misao?"
"Yep." I helped him get off the car and when I did he shoved my hands away.
"I can stand on my own." But it was so obvious that he couldn't. He was staggering as he walked towards his house while I just stayed behind him ready to catch him if he ended up falling. He was opening the gate when he stopped and turned to face me. "Ah, Misao."
"What is it, Toshiro?"
He fished out something from inside his bag. It was my gift. "You better take this back."
"But that's my gift for you."
"It was a gift with consequences, right?" He glanced up to face me and as the moonlight illuminated his flustered face I caught a glimpse of fear and sadness on his eyes before he quickly averted his gaze away from me again. "Open this when I accept you? I don't think I—"
"No." I cut him short. I'm not ready to hear him say those words just yet. " You should just keep it."
"I said I can't!" He fumed. His eyes were welling up looking as if he's about to cry, maybe from anger or disappointment or disgust. His eyes traced to his right side. "You're not taking this back? Fine." Then he threw the box to the garbage can on his right. He scoffed at me as he entered their house.
My eyes never left the closed door as I stood dejected in the middle of an empty street. He shut me out. My feelings were never welcomed, they're not even invited in the first place. My love was thrown in the dirt.
---------------------------------
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