I don't know how I managed to STILL have a crush on him despite a year having passed, a year. Can you believe it? I have been in unrequited love for a year already. It was shocking to me, at least. I never imagined myself to STILL like him. For goodness sake, we barely even talked. We just exchange glances sometimes. So why the heck am I still having these feelings? As if I just fell for him yesterday...
"𝗛𝗲𝗹𝗹𝗼, 𝗴𝗼𝗼𝗱 𝗺𝗼𝗿𝗻𝗶𝗻𝗴."
I was shocked. When Ryan suddenly greeted me that morning, I was like, Wait, did something happen? Why does he look so... happy? His friends complimented him on his new hair. He was smiling. while looking at me.
WHAT
THE
HECK
He was smiling. AT. ME
Am I dreaming? I turned away from them as I told myself to calm down. Something really is different about him... It was the first time he greeted me.
Calm down.
That day, we were told that our class would have a training camp. Our homeroom teacher really likes outdoor activities. She decided that for us to become better friends and classmates, we should take this trip. And so we did. It was a two-day and one-night trip.
With him
And the others, obviously...
When we arrived at the training camp, both females and males were separated. We will soon gather again after setting up camp. For a moment, I doubted myself since I caught sight of him out of the corner of my eye. He was staring at me. But when I turned to look at him, he looked away. Fast.
Okay,
This is seriously something.
"𝗔𝗿𝗲 𝘆𝗼𝘂 𝗴𝘂𝘆𝘀 𝗻𝗼𝘁 𝗴𝗼𝗶𝗻𝗴 𝘁𝗼 𝗷𝗼𝗶𝗻 𝘂𝘀 𝗳𝗼𝗿 𝗱𝗶𝗻𝗻𝗲𝗿?"
A boy in my class said as my friends and I walked into the cafeteria. We decided to join the others since "the more, the merrier." I do not really have any reason to say no since we will just be eating, so it is not a big deal. Or so I thought. He was there too. In front of me, smiling, in a white shirt, looking so charming.
Help me.
He is so beautiful.
I want this day to end so badly already. This is so embarrassing. The people at the table know about my feelings for him. He was the only one who was oblivious. I cannot deal with their teasing stares.
"𝗬𝗼𝘂 𝗴𝘂𝘆𝘀 𝗮𝗿𝗲 𝘁𝗵𝗲 𝗼𝗻𝗹𝘆 𝗼𝗻𝗲𝘀 𝘄𝗵𝗼'𝗿𝗲 𝗻𝗼𝘁 𝘁𝗮𝗹𝗸𝗶𝗻𝗴. 𝗖𝗼𝗺𝗲 𝗼𝗻 𝗻𝗼𝘄 𝘀𝗮𝘆 𝘀𝗼𝗺𝗲𝘁𝗵𝗶𝗻𝗴. 𝗦𝗵𝗲'𝘀 𝗶𝗻 𝗳𝗿𝗼𝗻𝘁 𝗼𝗳 𝘆𝗼𝘂 𝗻𝗼𝘄."
The boy next to him said as I stared at him, confused. What does he mean by that? He just smiled at me. My friends and I were about to leave when someone called my name.
"𝗛𝗶. 𝗠𝘆 𝗻𝗮𝗺𝗲 𝗶𝘀 𝗥𝘆𝗮𝗻 𝗠𝗰𝗟𝗮𝗿𝗲𝗻."
He said as he held out his hand for me to take. For a moment, I was confused. Is this a prank? They must be recording this, right? They wanted to make fun of me, right? I was deep in my thoughts when I realised everyone was staring at me with anticipation. It was at that moment that I realized: this is not a damn prank or a dream. I can feel my cheeks getting warm. This is not the time to be blushing. Oh my goodness.
"𝗛𝗶."
I said as we shook hands and held hands because he did not let go after that. He was staring at me; I'll never understand what his eyes were saying. BUT STILL. He was holding onto my hand as the others started to speak. Did he not realise this? I wanted to get away from him, since being there any longer could make me go crazy. He does not want to let go of my hand. He was chuckling when he saw me panicking. Everyone is watching. Oh, my goodness!
"𝗚𝗼𝗼𝗱𝗯𝘆𝗲 𝘁𝗵𝗲𝗻."
I said as I ran away from them. I was screaming to my heart's content when I was sure that I was far enough from them. This is not a damn dream. He held my hand. He said hello.
GAHHHHHH
Somebody please punch me! I cannot believe we held hands. Wait, we did, right? He makes me happy. Seeing him made my day!! I like him so much that I do not care about anything at all.
"𝗪𝗼𝘄, 𝘁𝗵𝗮𝘁 𝘄𝗮𝘀 𝗿𝗲𝗮𝗹𝗹𝘆 𝘀𝗼𝗺𝗲𝘁𝗵𝗶𝗻𝗴."
Indeed, it is. I cannot believe he did that. I cannot believe he smiled at me. This is the best day of my life. The training camp passed by like a blur. I have not got the chance to meet him again since we are not in the same group. But still, when we crossed paths, he always gave me a warm smile. It melted my heart.
"𝗪𝗶𝗹𝗹 𝘆𝗼𝘂 𝗯𝗲 𝘁𝗵𝗲 𝗼𝗻𝗲 𝘁𝗼 𝗳𝗶𝗹𝗹 𝘁𝗵𝗲 𝗲𝗺𝗽𝘁𝗶𝗻𝗲𝘀𝘀 𝗶𝗻 𝗵𝗶𝘀 𝗵𝗲𝗮𝗿𝘁?"
His friend asked me that, as we were now in a discussion. Obviously about school, but he decided to ask that in addition. I did not know what to say when he asked that. I seriously cannot imagine it. Me?I am not sure. I am not confident. I do not deserve him. It was only a dream for me. For him to notice me, it was enough to keep me going. Although I never imagined that this crush of mine could last longer than a month.