𝐓𝐈𝐀
I heard familiar voices calling for my name over and over, helplessly crying, begging me to stay alive. It sounds just like a lullaby. I could feel my eyes becoming heavier as I realised that this was not a dream and that this was the end of my life; in fact, regretting my life choices now seems pointless, and I was certain that everything had come to an end. It was terrifying, suffocating; it was hard to breathe. I felt so hopeless. I was fighting to see the light, but it was useless. I honestly want to give up and sink, to drown in this misery, to put an end to this uncontrollable nightmare—
"Wake up."
I jolted my eyes open as I tried hard to breathe. The ringing inside my ears was not helping me hear properly; my sight was also blurry. What is wrong with me? I tried rubbing them and slowly noticing that I was not alone since I could hear people murmuring, but I couldn't quite hear them. Where am I?
"Anna, are you alright?"
A voice, a man's voice, spoke as he touched my face. I can feel it. The touch feels too real to be just a dream. I stared at him in confusion, trying hard to see him at the same time. Why is he calling me Anna? I was confused since that is not my name. I'm still sane enough to know who I am. I brushed off the man's hand and tried to speak, but I can't seem to get anything out. What is happening? Because right now, I can't seem to see, speak, or hear. I can't help but panic since this is absurdly horrifying. The anxiety of not being able to breathe rises. I wanted to yell and scream for help and ask where I was, but everything was useless. My head feels heavy, and I begin to lose consciousness.
It feels too good to be true, but soon, everything becomes white. I could feel my body floating and I was sure that I was a ghost. I mean, what kind of explanation is this? Although, I don't know why I'm slightly disappointed but still amused at the same time that I'm still not "particularly" dead.
"Where am I?"
At the moment, I could see people laughing and smiling. They look happy as everyone is enjoying their time. But it hurts me so much to see this since I won't be able to meet my family again, considering I'm here, although I don't even know where "here" is.
"I don't want to die like this."
Falling from a cliff and hitting my head is not a cool way to die, and I don't plan to die anytime soon. I'm still just 21 and I also haven't experienced life to the fullest. I want to go home. I want my family. I was lost in my thoughts when suddenly a woman showed up in front of me smiling.
"Come to NRVANA, where you will find peace."
Interestingly, I can speak this time.
"What do you mean? Where am I? Please tell me how to get back home."
I begged the woman, hoping that she might be an angel who was interrogating me. I might as well try my luck, right? But instead, I just got ignored as the woman kept chanting the words she was saying earlier. It was weird and confusing, but I decided to explore the place.
I mean, might as well do something rather than sit around doing nothing, right? And what shocked me the most was when I came to realise that I was in NRVANA. Well, how did I know that? It's because I saw the signs there and the people keep saying how much they love this place and never want to leave this place. It was truly magical. NRVANA was a dream place. Or more like a kingdom. It's beautiful, so full of life, and everyone seems so happy.
So lively, so lovely.
Truth be told, I felt like I was taken to a different reality. I mean, just looking at this place, I was sure that this is not the place that I belong. And if I could choose, shamefully, I also want to be here in NRVANA, with my family and friends too. Because looking at this place, being here, seeing it with my own eyes... I wanted them to see this place, but it was all hopeless since I am no longer with them.
"Am I really dead?"
I can't help but wonder if I really did die since this feels too much if this is only a dream. But if I were to be stuck here, I don't mind because this is better than dying with regrets—right? For what felt like hours, walking around this weird place, my feet were beginning to become numb from walking. I sat down and stared at the scenery in front of me, hoping that this dream would not end. I mean, this is a dream, right? Although I don't really understand how or why, I suddenly feel drowsy. I'm losing consciousness again.
What the heck is happening?
"Am I really dying now?"
It was terrifying. It was hard to accept the fact that NRVANA was the place that I went before really dying. I was stupid to think that I belonged there. so shameful. I was so lost in my own thoughts when I felt someone's hand touching my lower body. It feels so uncomfortable and disgusting. Wait, am I being harassed now? What the hell is going on?! But the touch feels too real to be a dream, and it's touching me all over. Whoever this person might be, they might as well be ready to be slapped when I wake up. Slowly, I could feel my eyes opening, I could hear my surroundings clearly, and I could finally breathe.
The moment I opened my eyes, I was really shocked and dumfounded to see a guy feeling me all over, and he didn't look guilty at all for doing that to a person who was asleep. In fact, he seemed relieved. What in the world?! When I realised that I could finally move my body, the first thing that came to mind was to kick the bastard, screaming and yelling at the person in front of me as I stared at him in horror.
"What the hell do you think you're doing to a sleeping person?"
I yelled at him, and he furrowed his eyebrows.
"What?"
He said that, looking all confused.
"I should be the one who's confused here, not you."
I said as I glared at the guy with hatred. What the heck is wrong with this person?
And what shocked me the most was when I came to realise that my clothes were too revealing and too thin. Seriously, what the hell is wrong with this set up? And wait, where am I? Am I alive? I was overwhelmed with questions and the guy's being here is not helping me calm down either. He tries to approach me, but I warned him to stay away since I can't bring myself to process everything that's happening with the perverted guy looking at me like that.
The sooner I leave this room, the better.
I quickly grabbed a blanket to cover my body and stormed off from there, slamming the door behind me. What the hell is happening to me? I was confused and scared. I was overwhelmed with these emotions. I don't know where to go or which way to go; everything seems weird and different. It scared me. Am I really dead? I don't even know anymore. Or is this another dream? Am I in a coma and this is just my fantasy? I don't know.
I am lost.
The hallway I'm currently in is dark and eerie. I have no idea what to do right now. And it was raining heavily. The situation was terrifying. I can't seem to find anyone here, but soon after thinking that I heard footsteps and people murmuring, I was surprised. What if they are just like that perverted guy from before? I still remembered the fact that he's touching me all over. I seriously want to erase that from my mind. I clutch the blanket tightly around me and hide behind the wall, hoping they won't notice me.
Heck, is that even possible? What am I supposed to do now? I can't help but start to feel nervous and terrified, again.
"What are you doing lurking in the dark?"
A voice made me jump out of surprise, since I was sure I was alone. I turned to face the person and I was bewildered. Is this a dream, or what the hell is going on?! I started to feel emotional after seeing the face of the person. I don't know why, but my eyes started to feel dusty as I began sobbing. I was relieved to see him, but he didn't seem that relieved to see me. In fact, the guy looked confused after he saw my face. He backed away and put out his hand, telling me to not come any closer. What? I don't understand why, but it hurts. Why did he do that?
"Why?"
I was finally relieved when I saw a familiar face, but he didn't share the same feelings.