"Everything's fine. You don't need to suddenly become anxious and worried like this. Why did I suddenly become sad?" Cater held Sian's hand and kissed it, then gently rubbed it. "I'm actually more worried about you. It seems like you need more rest, you shouldn't get exhausted."
Hearing Cater say that everything was fine made Sian feel relieved again. Previously, she had almost had negative thoughts about Cater's satisfaction with her. But hearing Cater say everything was fine made her try to push away those negative thoughts.
Instead of letting her negative thoughts take over, Sian chose to sip her tea and enjoy her scones. For her, this was more beneficial than dwelling on negative thoughts.
Feeling the situation becoming calmer, Cater started the conversation again.
"Earlier, you asked me about the meaning of that song, right? I'll explain it a little to you. The song carries the meaning of an emotional cry for help, reflecting someone's need for emotional support and assistance from others. Additionally, the song also shows that despite being successful members of The Beatles, they also experienced serious personal discomfort. And the song also reflects John Lennon's struggles with emotional states and difficulties in his relationships at the time," Cater explained to his wife Sian.
Hearing Cater's explanation, Sian felt personally that the song indicated someone trying to seek emotional support from others. It was like there was an inner turmoil from a place that many people regarded as comfortable.
"It seems you're really delving into your idol. But I truly hope you don't get trapped in a situation like that. Both you and your job as a band vocalist," Sian didn't want her husband to get caught up in the situation experienced by the world-class band.
"Hahaha... If I'm not famous, how could I make a lot of money?" Cater joked.
"Not having money but living happily with your partner is more than enough, right?" Sian quickly replied. For her, living happily wasn't just about money; love meant more to her.
Cater actually wanted to laugh at that statement. But he felt it wasn't the right time yet. He showed it to Sian by just holding back his discomfort. He thought that if he tolerated that slight dislike, he hoped he would forget it and feel happy.
"Your face has changed again. Are you having a stomach ache?" Sian noticed Cater's change. It seemed to her that her husband's changes often happened so quickly, and it was quite endearing to her.
"I'm fine, Love." Cater then suddenly pulled Sian into his arms.
"Uh... what's this, why are you suddenly hugging me?" Sian instantly became flustered finding her husband hugging her, but she didn't reject the hug. She welcomed it comfortably, even returning the hug even tighter. Unfortunately, Sian never realized that Cater's facial expression turned sour behind her.
***
"So you're never going to come back?"
"I don't know, I'm still unsure about the decision I made."
"Don't deceive your feelings. I'll always wait for you, no matter who you belong to now, but I'm sure you'll come back to me."
"You're expecting something unclear. You're like every other woman."
"Then let's make a bet. Even if you don't marry me, I'm sure you'll still come back to me. Because your heart clearly looks doubtful about that woman."
And the last conversation at the beach then. More than enough to provide clear evidence to Cater that he doubted his own love.
Five years had passed since his separation from Caterina or Erina, his affectionate nickname for her. Cater used to love that woman, but after conflicts with Erina, Cater chose to avoid her. Of course, instead of resolving the issues, Cater ended up creating more problems.
His separation from Erina, even by his own decision, not Erina's desire. Thinking that running away from Erina would save his feelings, Cater ended up tormenting himself for years.
He thought that when he tried to love another woman, everything would be fine. But what happened was the opposite. It was evident from his habit of constantly thinking about Erina, even when he had married another woman. Even everything related to Erina, he always brought into his married life.
"Cater... uh, what are you doing, why are you daydreaming while holding that perfume?" Sian asked as she entered the room and found her husband holding a bottle of perfume in his hand.
Cater snapped out of his reverie, "ah... I want to put this perfume in the suitcase. It's my favorite scent," he said. He then walked over to his suitcase and put the perfume inside.
Wood Sage & Sea Salt, this refreshing scent always reminded him of the sea.
Yes, the sea... because Erina loved the sea and everything related to it.
"You're quite unique. Not only do you like to observe perfumes, but you also love your old guitar too much. Even though now, I'm sure your money is more than enough to buy a better guitar. But until now, I've almost never seen you perform without changing that old guitar." Sian remembered her husband's guitar. Even since they first met, Cater had always carried the same guitar until now.
The Epiphone Les Paul Standard was a guitar that couldn't be replaced by Cater. Because that guitar was directly chosen by Erina. The guitar was famous as a cheap guitar, especially for beginners. And according to his situation at that time, Cater, who once realized he was just a poor young man crazy about music, decided to buy it, especially on Erina's recommendation. Especially that guitar, he always used it to accompany Erina learning to sing. All the sweet memories were stored in that guitar.
"Maybe I just love it too much, so it's too hard to let it go. Even when everything is fine now," Cater said unconsciously. He didn't know if he meant his guitar or his relationship with Erina in the past.
Sian thought that when she heard Cater's words, she felt that Cater was a faithful person. But for some reason, suddenly her heart felt a little painful. The unclear origin of the pain made her feel uncomfortable again.
"It's late, we should both go to sleep. We shouldn't be late tomorrow morning. Soon we'll go to your dream city. Be happy, Darling," Sian forced herself to smile. She tried to push away her negative thoughts, although the pain was becoming clearer.
"Of course. Goodnight, Love." Cater kissed Sian's forehead then turned off the light and tried to sleep. But clearly his mind never focused on his wife, who was now feeling restless. His mind was getting stronger and only directed towards the woman who lived in his past. Erina, because only that name was present in his memory whether he fell asleep soundly or woke up the next day.