"What will happen to the rest of the embryos?" Kinakabahang tanong ni ate.
I looked at her compassionate eyes. She's not going to like what I'll say. Since Dr. Rodriguez seems to want me to tell her, then I'll do it.
Nakita ko rin ang pananabik ni Embry na marinig ang sagot ko.
"They will be discarded."
Bakas ang pagkabigla sa mga mukha nina Camari, Turstin at Embry. Malungkot na napayuko si Dr. Rodriguez habang nanatiling blangko ang mukha ko.
The remaining embryos have to be disposed and that's the fact that people should be open-minded enough to accept.
"But it already has a life," Embry protested.
Lumingon ako sa kaniya na hindi nasisiyahan. Bumuntong-hininga ako at inalis ang likod ko mula sa pagkakasandal.
"That's reality. What's the point of keeping it? The longer the embryos are stored, the more their viability decreases. Kaya ganoon pa rin ang mangyayari, matitigok. Right, Dr. Rodriguez?" Dr. Rodriguez lifted his face and nodded to agree upon me.
"IVF is an Assistant Reproductive Technology. And it cannot support the remaining embryos for a very long time. Tama si Dr. Huevista," mahina ang pagkakasabi ni Dr. Rodriguez.
Alam kong hindi niya nagugustuhan ang bahaging 'yon. Subalit pinapatatag lang niya ang sarili niya tuwing may komokunsulta at nagnanais na magkaanak sa ganitong proseso.Maliban nalang sa akin. Malakas ang isipan ko at patay na ang puso ko.
Nagtungo si Dr. Rodriguez sa pinakadulo ng laboratory habang nilalagpasan ang nakalapag na mga microscopes. Lumingon si ate sa akin na halatang hindi nagugustuhan ang kapalaran ng ibang embryos. Even Turstin and Embry looks so down.
Napatampal nalang ako sa noo ko. Too much drama.
"Is there really no other way? Baka pwedeng isang egg cell lang ang kunin," ani niya.
"Ate, ang ibang embryo ay back-up natin. Dahil may posibilidad na hindi gumana ang conception method na 'to. Don't be emotional. You want a child remember?" I harshly responded.
Alam kong tinitiis lang niya ang pananalita ko para sa kagustuhan niyang maging ina. Tinitiis ko rin ito kaya sana mas tumaas pa ang pasensiya naming dalawa.
Dr. Rodriguez on his white coat walked towards us and handed me the papers.
"Take those birth control pills before the cycle of your IVF treatment, doc." Said he.
Agad ko namang tinanggap ang papel at binasa.
"Birth Control? What for?" Gulat na sabat ni Turstin at biglang lumapit sa akin kasabay ng pagkuha sa papel mula sa mga kamay ko.
Binigyan ko siya ng inis na tingin pero hindi ito naapektuhan. Binasa niya ang nasa papel habang nakakunot ang noo.
"Doc, what is the meaning of this?"
Kinuha mo pa magtatanong ka rin naman pala.
"Using birth control before a treatment cycle has been shown to improve the success rate. This will also decrease the risk for Dr. Huevista to experience ovarian hyperstimulation syndrome and ovarian cysts, sir. It will only be for two days then she will stop and we'll detect her ovulation period, sir." Pagpapaliwanag ni Dr. Rodriguez sa umuusok na Turstin.
"Mahal, sundin nalang natin sila. They're doctors," hinaplos ni ate ang braso ni Turstin na nagpakalma sa kaniya.
"Fine."
Pagkatapos ng pag-uusap namin sa laboratory ay agad naman akong ibinalik sa silid ko. They are about to discharge me now since the results showed nothing alarming.
Embry has to go back to the mansion to prepare it for me. Meanwhile, Camari and Turstin went out to get something important.
Here I am again. Alone.
Five minutes after, I heard the door open. It spewed the nurse on a blue scrub as she holds a kit in one of her hands.
"Good afternoon, doc. Tatanggalin ko na po ang dextrose," ngumiti ito sa akin.
Tumango naman ako at tuluyan siyang lumapit sa akin. Nakaupo lang ako sa hospital bed habang tinitingnan ang ginagawa niya.
A smile was suddenly drawn on my face. I remembered doing such a thing when I was a nursing student. I took Nursing as a pre-med course. I always have a sentimental share with the nurses because of my experience.
"Are you a nurse?" Pagbasag ko sa katahimikan.
Saglit itong nag-angat ng tingin at ibinalik ang mga mata sa ginagawa niya.
"Intern nursing student po," magalang niyang sagot habang abala sa pagtatanggal sa dextrose.
In brevity, she finally eradicated it from my hand. She immediately took out a cotton from the kit and covered the whole on my skin to prevent the bleeding. She cleaned the surrounding skin with a wet cotton.
"Good luck. You'll become a nurse soon,"
Hindi ito tumingin sa akin pero ramdam ko ang pagngiti niya na bumakas sa mga labi niya at pagbabago ng ekspresiyon ng mukha niya.
"Salamat po. Gusto ko po maging doktor kagaya niyo," nasisiyahang kwento niya.
"You'll be one,future doctor. Can't wait to call you doctor," I motivated her which caused her to smile wider.
It's nice to find out that millenials have dreams. They sure have a direction in life in which they established. They will soon take over the society as we, the ones in the previous generation retire.
"Salamat po. Nakakatuwa naman po na nanggaling po 'yan sa inyo," halata sa tono niya ang labis na ligaya.
"What's your name by the way?" I asked.
"Daisy po. Daisy Evangeline Contreras," with so much respect, she answered in a pleasing tone.
Isa siyang chinita, makinis, maputi at bata pa ang hitsura niya. Sa hula ko ay nasa 22 years old pa lang ang edad niya.
"I'll remember that name," With calmness yet associated with interest, I concluded.
Hindi pa rin nawawala ang ngiti sa labi niya. Inayos niya ang kit at hinawakan sa kamay ang natanggal niyang dextrose.
"Aalis na po ako, doc. Maraming salamat rin po sa pagpapalakas ng loob ko. Malakas rin po ang takot na nararamdaman ko sa bawat minuto ng pagiging nursing student ko. Dahil sa takot na bumagsak," pagpapaliwanag niya na unti-unting sumeryoso.
"I used to be a nursing student like you. I feel the fear and everything. But there's something I have learned that I wish someone had told me...." I paused.
"A life of living in fear is not life at all but nightmare itself. " I quoted with my eyes laying a vision on hers to assist her to overpower the fear she confessed.
She was stunned at first by what I said. Few second that had passed, a smile began to be shown on her face as her eyes are painted with felicity and volition, the most beautiful thing I have witnessed.
We are on the contrary. She is a hopeful kid. When I was on her age, my life was hopeless and tragic. May she keep the innocence I lost. May she live her life with dulcet perception of the world without bitterness tainting her heart.
My eyes were glued on the optimistic emotions her eyes are painted on. I want to stare at it for a while. It is the most beautiful view.
It will be the indelible view I will store in my memories.
"Maraming salamat, doc. Ipapangako ko po na magiging mabuti akong doktor," she swore.
"Na may puso," pagdugtong ko.
Hindi ko inaakala na masasabi ko na dapat may puso rin siya habang hindi ko naman ginagamit ang puso ko at nabalot na ng kamanhidan ang loob ko; na wala na akong nararamdaman para sa mga tao at sa mundong 'to. kahit ang kadugo ko ay  sinasadya kong saktan.
"Opo,"
Tuluyan na siyang umalis. Naiwan na naman ako rito sa loob.
Wala pang dalawang minuto ay muling bumukas ang pinto at bumungad sa akin si Turstin.
"O, nasaan si ate?"
"Nandoon kausap ang Pharmacist." He coldly said.
I looked at his tanned skin, black eyes, curly hair and long and pointed nose with a triangle-shaped jawline.
Mas gwapo pa rin ang doktor na nakita ko.
I sighed and leaned my back at the headboard. Saglit na namuo ang katahimikan na binasag lamang ni Turstin nang magsalita ito.
"How do you feel about this?" He asked.
Napalingon ako sa kaniya na nakaupo na sa upuan habang nakatulala sa mesa na parang nanakawan ng ginto.
Anong problema ng lalaking 'to?
Para siyang binagsakan ng langit at lupa kung pagmamasdan mo siya.
"Nothing, as usual," napahalukipkip ako.
"Good for you," komento niya na ipinagtaka ko.
Umahon ako mula sa pagkakasandal at napakunot ang noo ko.
"Anong nangyari sa'yo? Parang hindi ka masaya," nagtataka kong pagtatanong at nakatulala pa rin siya.
Bahagya akong nilingon ni Turstin at muling ibinalik ang tingin sa mesa.
"I have doubts,"
"Ayaw mong magkaanak?" Gulat kong bulalas na naging dahilan ng panlalaki ng mata niya.
Nagulat rin siya sa sinabi ko. Agad siyang napailing-iling at nilingon ako.
"No, that's not it!" He denied.
I crossed my arms and looked at him intensely.
"So what? Ano 'yang doubts-doubts na 'yan?" I waited for his response as his face looked more miserable the more I asked questions.
"Gusto kong magkaanak. Pangarap naman 'yan ng lahat," he paused.
Napangiwi ako habang nakatingin sa kaniya.   'Lahat'.
"Except sa'yo," pagbawi niya.
"Pero natatakot ako dahil baka---you know....B-baka hindi ako maging mabuting ama," napayuko siya sa pag-amin.
"Why are you focusing on things that aren't happening at all? Make a move. Not an illusion," I rolled my eyes heavenwards and released a deep sigh.
Dramatic.
"Hindi ka ba nag-ooverthink?" Maririnig pa rin ang pag-aalala niya sa tono ng boses niya.
"This brain is only for essential purposes," tinuro ko ang ulo ko habang nakatingin siya sa akin.
"Minsan mo na nga lang ginagamit ang utak mo, sa overthinking pa. Lalagyan mo na nga lang ng laman, walang kwenta pa," sarkastiko kong pambabara at muli siyang inirapan.
"Minsan nakakapikon ka na pero may punto ka," natatawa nitong saad habang hindi nawawala ang tingin sa akin.
Napasandal ito sa upuan na kung saan siya nakaupo at bumuntonghininga.
"I state facts not sugar-coated lies..." I started.
"Anong gagawin mo sa matatamis na salita kung kasinungalingan naman lahat? Mas mabuting lumuha dahil sa katotohanan kaysa sa maging masaya buhat ng mga sinungaling," mahaba kong pagsasalita habang hindi tumitingin sa kaniya.
I wish he'll realize my point. I'm tired of explaining to ease this drama.
"Wagas maka-Confucious, ah," mahina niyang saad at huminga nang malalim.
"Cut your nonsense drama. Just raise the child well. Do not introduce her to any trauma. Let her live her best life while being the strongest version of herself in every obstacles. Teach her to be kind. To love and to care. Beautify her inside," seryoso kong litanya habang narinig ko ang mahina niyang 'wow'.
"Uy, concern siya sa bata," he teasingly remarked.
I glared at him angrily like a tiger ready and made to slaughter a living idiot.
"Masyado ng maraming masasamang tao. Huwag na nating dagdagan. Concern ka diyan," pagsusungit ko at inirapan siya.
Natawa naman ito at napahawak siya tiyan. Napailing-iling siya na natutuwa sa reaksiyon ko.
Aba, kapal. Parang hindi nagmakaawa sa'kin.
"Camari will love that you care for the baby. Nasaan na ba 'yon?" Tumayo ito at napakamot sa ulo.
"I'll just check on her," mabilis nitong binuksan ang pinto at iniluwal siya nito papalabas.
Mabuti naman upang maibsan ang drama dito.
My eyes wandered all throughout the entity of the room. For the first time in six years, I became a patient of this hospital.
Nabagot ako sa kakahintay sa kanila. Kung kaya naisipan kong lumabas ng hospital room. I am already discharged. So, I can wander all throughout.
Pero bago ako lumabas ay nagbihis muna ako. Nakakahiya naman kung itong pang-ospital na damit ang ipaparada ko sa labas.
I chose to wear a white denim jeans which I paired with blue embroidered off-shoulder crop top. I tied my lengthy supple hair into a pony tail that highlighted my collarbone.
Perfect.
Agad akong lumapit sa pinto. Mabilis ko naman itong binuksan at nakita ko sa labas ang mga abalang nurses at doctors at ang ibang tao na hula ko ay mga kasama ng mga pasyente dito sa ospital.
Mabilis akong naglakad sa hallway. I wanted to go to the rooftop. It's my favorite spot at the hospital after a hectic day.
"Doc Adeline!" Napalingon ako sa likuran nang may narinig akong sigaw.
"Richard?" Nagtataka kong sambit sa pangalan ng lalaking nakasuot ng salamin at blue scrubs.
Isa siyang nurse.
Papatakbo siya papunta sa kinaroroonan ko na para bang nasa akin ang kayamanan sa mundong 'to.
"Doc, kumusta ka na? Nabalitaan namin ang nangyari sa'yo," hinihingal niyang saad na napahawak sa dibdib niya.
"Huminga ka muna. Baka matulad ka sa'kin...... Maayos naman ako. Ito, discharged na," itinaas ko sa bawat gilid ko ang mga kamay ko.
"That's good, doc. Kailangan na kailangan ka na rito," he uttered.
It flatters my heart having in mind that I am needed and valued. My younger self may not have been able to experience this kind of validation, yet the present version of me is now fine as the ripples of the ocean.
"You must be so busy. I'll get going now," pagpapaalam ko.
Agad naming tinalikuran ang isa't isa. Agad naman akong nagpatuloy sa paglalakad papunta sa rooftop.
Nang matunton ko ito ay agad akong sinalubong ng sariwang hangin. The warm breeze kissed my skin. I spread my arms like a bird administering its freedom and began to close my eyes to cherish and savour the kisses the of the breeze that this city barely provides.
"You seem fine already,"
I jumped like a quivering cat and diverted my vision at the person who suddenly talked at my back in a husky voice. My heart beat at its fastest as surprise enveloped each of me within and outside.
"It's you," I uttered while chasing my breath.
Gulat na gulat ako sa biglaang pagsasalita ng lalaki.
"I'm s-sorry.... I didn't mean to startle you. I should have made you aware of my presence first," he felt bad.
But that husky voice is so..... Damn!
It was the new doctor.
"You checked me, right?"
Tinuro ko siya habang natatawa nang maalala ko ang unang pagkikita namin.
Tumingala ito sa kalangitan na para bang nahuli ko.
"I guess you realized I wasn't meant to," napahawak siya sa leeg na halata ang hiya niya.
Sabi ko na nga ba.
"Disobedient ka rin, ah. Bad 'yan," biro ko.
"I broke a lot of rules. But there are some I didn't regret of breaking," he spoke.
I felt within me that he wants to tell me something. I have a strong guess that what he remarked meant more than how we literally interprets it.
I don't know what it is but that's what I feel.
Before I can utter a word the warm breeze messed few strands of my hair, causing these strands to go against my face. I eradicated them and positioned them behind my ears by my skeletal fingers.
"You break rules while I break hearts," tugon ko sa pagbibiro niya.
"Bakit ka pala nandito?" Binago ko ang pinag-uusapan namin.
Akala ko ako lang ang nandito.
"Nagpapahangin," maikling sagot niya.
Agad ko naman siyang tinalikuran at pinagmasdan ang view. Makikita sa kinaroroonan namin ang mga nagtataasang mga gusali at ang mga sasakyan sa ibaba na parang mga langgam dahil sa liit nito.
"Look at the sunset," naramdaman ko ang paglapit niya sa likuran ko.
It caused me to shiver. Nakakamandag ang boses niya na parang tinutunaw ako.
I gazed at the sunset emitting a dark-orange hue. It is beautiful as the clouds accompanies its embrace.
"You like it?" I felt his breath on my right shoulder.
This caused me to shiver even more. He is so close to me like how my fingers are to one another.
"I love it," I kept my eyes locked at the sunrise as I surrender myself being mesmerized by it.
That was the first sunset we shared together.
I felt his hands on my waist. He belted them around me. I felt security and support. I felt comfort.
Above all I felt home.
At first I had a big breath out of surprise. Peeo hinayaan ko nalang siya.
May heart began to  hasten its beat again. But right now, I can sense a familiar affection after 17 years.
Love.
Love at first backhug? Farcical.
He loosened his arms around me and faced me with passion in his eyes. Hinatak niya ako papalapit sa kaniya na naging dahilan ng biglaan kong paghawak sa magkabilang dibdib niya.
"W-what are you doing?" Nauutal kong tanong.
"Showing embrace to what the breeze brought me," in a husky and sexy damn voice he uttered, full of passion and emotion I can not specifically distinguish.
Is he referring to me?
"Adeline..."