The sun blazed its scorching heat.
It's already past noon, and yet the warm dry air that touched my bare skin caused it to crack up. Even as I drank a cold glass of water, dropped with a few cubes of ice, and the fan was directly facing me, it still didn't help with how sweat trickled along my back. After finishing up the whole glass, chewing the crunchy ice slowly inside my mouth, my throat was still parched and thirsty.
I forced myself to get up and take one more bottle from the fridge. This is too exhausting even with me not doing anything.
Somehow, even as I was born in this town, I still couldn't get used to the extreme heat during summer. Nobody could.
So yes, summer, the hottest season of the year and the most tiresome too. I have mixed feelings about this particular time. Summer, in general, is altogether relaxing and boring and totally exhausting. No matter what day it was, as long as the sun is out, or even when it's raining, it couldn't be just one of those things. It would be all of it at the same time. But since summer means no classes, at least that's one thing good out of the rest of it.
I glanced at the clock and saw that it was almost time for my shift at work. I only have 10 minutes left to prepare. It sure wasn't enough, but I can afford to be late. The manager wouldn't mind. I'm quite sure she'd arrive later than me anyways. She wasn't the type to be wary of such things. Not anymore.
I stepped into the shower and took my time to get a cool off and wash off the stink I may have gotten because of the excruciating heat. I hope I still have deodorant left.
Walking out of the bathroom, my hair dangling like wet vines, dripping water all over the place, I changed into my usual fitted t-shirt and ripped jeans, one that was neither a fashion pair nor a notable outfit for any day. It was just Rebecca style, the most boring and non-flashy clothes you would ever see anyone wear, specially named after me.
That's not something to brag about, but who cares? I've got my name on it. Might as well bask in the honor of having your own identity stapled on such a trivial thing. It lasted more than I could ever imagine that I eventually accepted it.
Making sure I had no more frizz left and that my hair was dry enough to avoid the cause of any raining effect for my clothes, I fished out the key to my apartment placed on top of my bookshelf, and head out for work.
The place I work at is just a quick walk from my place. It's a small shop that sold ice cream since the time I could remember. It was the oldest, maybe even the first one, and slowest dessert business in town. But then again, at least I had a job. There was no room for me to actually complain.
When I got down from my apartment building, the heat turned from steaming to extremely burning and frying. I took out my umbrella in case I might get sunburned. But the other part of me knew that the umbrella blocked much more than just the sun.
Just by walking down the sidewalk, I get to pass a row of poorly constructed houses, apartment complexes and small stores and stalls. It would always make me unconsciously heave a sigh.
Same old buildings in the same old place of a small town. I could see the owner of that bakery just upfront with a plastic bag of groceries in hand. It would be safe enough to assume that he bought it from the convenience store a little over the alley where I was headed.
Over the way towards the main road, there would be the town park and the street towards nursery, elementary, middle school, and high school campuses all lined up in a row. It was like the prior town mayor didn't think much of the map, so he ended up lugging everything of the same kind of public departments in the same place.
I grouched and hide my face even more. I could see the tattered flip-flops of probably someone I knew crossing the road towards the other end. Of course, I knew everyone. That makes it even more depressing because they in turn know me, or act as they do.
Nothing is ever new out here. It always felt so ancient and maybe even medieval. I felt like I was stuck in a time when nobody ever knew how the internet works or even knew its name and what it was.
Thinking about how fitting it would be if I theoretically say that this town is trapped in a time loop by some kind of magic or spell. I just can't get over the fact that no matter how the era progressed outside, it always miraculously doesn't affect us here.
I happen to immediately dismiss the fact that magic exists, but not as quickly because, for some reason, bad luck seems to cling to me much like how a magic spell might. How could it even be possible, unless I'm cursed, right?
"Hi, Ri'cca!" I heard a squeaky voice say, failing to sound out the 'BE' in my name.
I stopped in my tracks and took a moment to process what I just heard.
Her? Here? Just, why? my head shouted to the void of my thoughts.
Out of all the people that I could possibly meet in the middle of the day, why does it have to be her? Or better yet, why do I have to meet anyone before work?
I guess I really am cursed. That's like, strike two.
Turning back from the path I came from, I greeted a waddling toddler with bouncy blonde curls with a smile I practiced for years. It was stiff and a bit hard to keep up with, but with the corners of my lips going upward, this kid couldn't even tell.
"Hi, how are you?" I asked. It was too formal, but the only thing I could manage.
She smiled at me. "I'm good! Mommy bought me some sweets back at the store like I asked her to. Do you want some? It's really sweet!"
"Where is she? You're mom, I mean."
"She's back in the store for more food," she answered, jumping up and down at the mention of something more to eat. She pointed to the nearest grocery and I winced at how close it was and how no other people is inside to keep her in a line.
Looks like I need to go for a run.
"Sorry, but I think I'm gonna go on ahead. I still have to go to work now. Be a good girl and go back to your mommy, okay?"
She nodded and smiled at me, waving goodbye as she ran inside the grocery and probably talk to her mom about how she ran into big sister by the street.
Hopefully, they wouldn't go after me. Talking to them and socializing with them is not really a good idea when I left their house just so I wouldn't be able to do exactly that.
I walked briskly straight into the corner where the ice cream shop is, fast enough to get away and miss the eyes of Melissa. I definitely don't want to have a pep talk under the sun.
Melissa isn't even supposed to be here! What's she doing? She's supposed to be at some other place and not at this part of town where everything marked the start of, well, everything!
I'm just being paranoid again.
I opened the door with a sign saying 'Lunch Break', making the little bell hanging above it jingle as a result.
"You're early," a woman with short hair that had a few red highlights said when I entered right at the front door, giving me a quizzical look.
It was Zebby, my manager and the owner of the place.
With all the rush in my head, I forgot that I went the wrong way. Well, not exactly wrong, just not the usual.
"Well, I just felt like being a role employee all of a sudden." It was an obvious lie, and she sure didn't buy it. But she knew me-everyone did-so she didn't ask me anything else.
Zebby only smiled in an apologetic way. It felt like she already had a ton of reasons why I can get to be so unpredictable.
It was the usual face. I'm already too used to it to even try to change what she had in mind. It was better to make her, or anyone else that did the same, think they understood me rather than screwing up and spouting the nonsense in my head.
It's easier that way. No talks. No explanations.
I took my stuff to the staff room. After changing into my uniform, a pink and white striped blouse and a brown skirt tied with a sort of apron, I went straight back to the counter where Zebby still stood.
She's also already wearing the same outfit as mine but more weirdly colorful, written with words saying Brain Freeze. It didn't pair up with her goth look at all. It only made her seem even weirder.
But she sure changed fast. She was just wearing her favorite leather jacket a few minutes ago.
Zebby glanced at me, smiling again, then picked up a small notebook from the desk. She paced away from the counter and scribbled something as she walked. "You know the drill. I'd just be up in the storage room to fix stuff and maybe check our supplies. Call me when you need me."
I nodded.
I took her place and stood there, all gloomy and all alone. I'm the only one in shift at this time of the day, which isn't exactly odd. Working here for about three consecutive summers was more than enough to tell me that one employee is the max. It's more than enough. There's no one waiting in line anyways.
For such a hot summer, it sure is a mystery why an ice cream shop had no customers. It's barren as well as the streets. Not a single person roamed around to do anything. I felt like I was looking at a picture, unmoving and still. Though with the scorching heat outside, I guess it's only reasonable to not be out here at this hour.
With me just being by myself, I can't help but think about a lot of things. Certain faces kept popping so suddenly in my head, one after the other like flashes of a movie roll that does not make any sense.
Mostly though, I keep on thinking about that kid I met outside and her mom. Melissa and Bethany. Then, Dad would always be there to complete the whole.
I could just picture them walking down the stairs of the old house. The toddler would be hopping and singing 'Baa Baa Black Sheep'. Dad would then sing with her and act like the sheep, making its sound. Melissa would shake her head, smiling, then look at Dad in the eye. Dad would stare back. They'd be like that until they reach the car, getting inside and taking the kid to school.
Just like a perfect happy family. Just like how my family should have been.
It's an eyesore.
"Excuse me?" a voice suddenly said. "I like the strawberry with rainbow sprinkles please."
I blinked. That's right. I'm at work.
I smiled then, looking almost robotic. "How would you like it to be served? In a glass or cone?" I asked.
---
Two more people checked in, mostly to sit down and chat than ever buying anything. So for about seventy-five percent of the time, I was staring into nothing and overthinking nonstop. It went like that till the sun slowly set and Zebby came back from the storage, not wearing her uniform anymore and totally back on the leather jacket.
"Time's up girl!" she playfully shouted, giggling like it was a joke. "You should really check your watch."
I did, and she was right. It's way past closing time. I look back at her, my face neutral.
"So listen. I really, really need to go on my gig now. A little bit more and I'm gonna be late. Can you do me a favor and clean up before you leave? It'll be such a great help."
I smiled. "Sure."
"Really?" She hugged me, backing away after realizing what she did and unconsciously played with the skull necklace around her neck. She huffed before screaming. "You're a lifesaver!" She then hurried along; guitar case in tow.
Zebby is part of a band downtown, or so I was told. I have never actually seen her sing or play guitar, let alone with anyone else.
After I closed shop and hung the closed sign by the door, I slowly took the path home.
I glanced at the sky, letting my mind wander. The stars are quite elated tonight, excited even. I haven't seen them like that for a while. Or perhaps I just haven't looked at them at all.
I need to think about a lot of stuff. Not about anyone else around. I just need to think about me.
When this summer ends, I'll be back to school again. I'll be back in my corner, staring at completely the wrong things and saying the wrong words while talking to someone I shouldn't have. I'll be back in a prison cell, one that is already inside a freaking cage!
It's not that I liked being on vacation, cause that's certainly not true. But just the thought of being back in a classroom filled with people who hated you for the wrong reasons makes me want to throw up. Between that and summer breakfast, school is obviously worse.
As my mind drifted from how I felt like a convict, locked up in a container stashed inside another container (then another container, and another-), I suddenly had the urge to escape again. Just leave everything behind and for once think about nothing.
And, before I knew it, I was walking on a different road, one that leads not to my house, but definitely felt more like home.
I sprinted and sped fast, eager to breathe and stop the suffocating feeling the day has brought me.
I ran a little faster and reached the edge of town. It was the one place that was barren like all the others, yet held such a promise for me.
I sat at my usual spot, a big rock that was flattened at the top. It was perfect for sitting down and for taking short naps. It was the perfect spot for me.
I took a deep breath and look beyond the arch that had the words, now barely seen, saying 'COME AGAIN TO LOST TOWN'.
The same old road and the same old words in front of me. Only this time, I'm looking at it all alone.
I closed my eyes, dreaming of the city lights beyond the road, connecting it with the farewells that the very place I'm at is silently yelling at me.
"Sorry. I don't think I would ever want to come back here."