Twelve years ago, I promised to myself that I'll never cry because of a man.
I'm sick of seeing my mom crying over my dad, who did nothing but to cheat on us.
"Pangako, hinding hindi po talaga ako iiyak nang dahil lalaki, Mama," a six-year old crying girl swore as she looked on a grave.
That memory was still vivid on my mind. But look I am right now. Crying my eyes out because of a man named Xander.
Nang bumukas ang elevator, wala sa sarili akong naglakad palabas sa condominium. Hindi ko makita nang maayos ang aking dinaraanan dahil sa mga luhang walang humpay na tumutulo sa aking mga mata.
After Xander shoved me away, I stayed in front of his unit for awhile. Ni hindi ko man lang siya nagawang saktan physically. Dahil hindi ko talaga siya kayang saktan. Pero bakit siya nagawa niya sa akin?
Did he ever loved me?
Natapilok ako dahilan para ako'y matumba. My right foot stung, but the pain was nothing compared to what Xander did to me.
Wala na akong lakas pa para tumayo kaya nanatili na lamang ako sa lupa. I knew that people would stare at me weirdly right now but that was the least of my concern. I didn't care if they'll judge me or what.
At kung minamalas ka nga naman, ngayon pa talaga bumubos ang ulan. Mukhang pati yata ang langit ay umaayon sa nadarama ko ngayon.
I sat on the edge of the sidewalk. Yakap-yakap ko ang aking mga tuhod habang nakayuko at malugod na sinasalubong ang malalakas na patak ng ulan habang nasa tapat pa rin ako ng condominium.
Kasabay ng malakas na ulan, bumuhos ang aking nararamdaman.
Patuloy lamang ako sa pag-iyak nang mapagtanto kong hindi na muli ako napapatakan ng ulan kahit na patuloy pa rin ang buhos ng ulan sa aking paligid.
Napansin ko ang isang pares ng sapatos sa aking harapan dahilan upang ako'y mag-angat ng tingin.
Sumalubong sa akin ang isang lalaki. Nakayuko ito sa akin habang hawak niya ang itim na payong sa kaniyang kanang kamay samantalang ang isa naman ay nakapasok sa kaniyang bulsa.
I stared at him. He had a pair of hazel eyes—deep and powerful hazel eyes—it was like hypnotizing me. His thick and on fleek brows made those beautiful eyes stood out more. My gaze went down on his pointed nose, it was not that as sharp as Xander's but it fitted perfectly on him. His lips were thin but it didn't stop him from being attractive. They were thin but I could tell that lot of women were dying just to kiss those lips. And of course, his prominent jaw that could make every woman cried in blissfulness when they touch those.
I blinked as I remembered him. He was the man at the canteen.
Naputol ang pagtitig ko sa lalaki nang tumikhim ito. Hindi ko namalayan na tuluyan na pala akong tumahan mula sa pag-iyak.
"Ang isang magandang babaeng katulad mo ay hindi dapat umiiyak at hinahayaang masira ang sarili ng dahil sa lalaki."
Muli akong napakurap dahil sa sinabi niya.
He kneeled down in front of me, still holding the umbrella, but his other hand was now on my face. Wiping the remnants of my tears using his thumb.
He flashed a smile that left me gazed at him stupidly.
We stared at each other for a minute though it felt like a lifetime. Tuluyan na ring humupa ang ulan pero hindi niya pa rin ibinababa ang payong.
"You deserve someone better, Nausicaa. Don't let him destruct you," he said softly, carressing my face. His eyes darted on me showing lots of mixed emotions I couldn't name.
I remained silent because of shock. Hindi ko mahanap ang boses ko. Paano niya nalaman ang pangalan ko?
Suddenly, a realization hit me.
Maybe he's a player too? Kasi nakapasok siya sa canteen which was exclusive only for varsity players ng school?
What if he was a friend of Xander? Maybe he was toying with my feelings too? Maybe they planned all of this?
That thought snapped me back into my senses.
Kahit na nanghihina pa rin ako dahilan sa nangyari at dagdagan pa ng lamig dulot ng pagpapaulan ko, I still tried my best to stood up. He did the same too and tried to guide me but I slapped his hand that made him stared at me with shock. The umbrella fell off on his other hand maybe because of the force I exerted.
Bahagya akong nakonsensiya but I easily brushed it off.
I stared at his hazel eyes, "If you think I'm a fool to fall for your words, think again, Mister," taas noo kong sambit, may bakas ng galit sa aking tono at walang lingon ko siyang iniwan.
I clenched my fists.
I should have known better.
Break-up. Cheater. Then there comes a "hero," saving someone else's broken heart. Then boom!
He'll only break me too. But with more damage than the first one.
I was once fooled, and I will never be fool again. Ever.