The three of us exchanged giving encouragement to each other. Kinakabahan kaming tinahak ang Dean's office. It feels like I'm going to faint. Kung kanina ay wala akong maramdaman kung hindi pinaghalong cunfusion at excitement, ngayon ay parang purong kaba nalang.
"Ako na ang mauuna." Pagbubuluntaryo ni Ken.
Tumango kaming dalawa ni Bea. Hindi na siya mabigyan ng isang 'goodluck' dahil sa kaba. Nilingon kami ni Ken at ngumisi saamin bago buksan ang pinto at pumasok sa loob.
"Why would we have to do this?" bulong ko na hindi naman narinig ni Bea dahil nakatitig siya sa pinto at halatang kinakabahan.
"Napakataas kasi ng expectation ng mga tao sa school natin, we don't want them to feel disappointed kaya we're trying our best to be accepted," isang hindi pamilyar na boses ang narinig ko sa aking gilid.
Napaangat ang tingin ko sa lalaking nagsalita nagulat ako sa pagdating niya hindi ko man lang naramdaman.
I looked at him in disbelief bahagya pang napaawang ang bibig ko ngunit agad rin naman akong napabalik sa ulirat.
"Oh sorry, Napadaan kasi ako then narinig kitang nagsalita, did I interrupt you?" He chuckled.
Napalingon ako kay Bea na ngayon ay tahimik lang na pinagnamasdan ang lalaking nasa harap namin. I blink several times not knowing what to say.
"Watashino namae Gueyo-desuka. Hajimemashite,"
Natameme naman ako sa sinasabi niya teka lang? alien ba 'to? kumurba ang labi ko at napahawak naman siya sa sintido niya.
"Sorry, my friend always talks to me like that. By the way that means, Im Gueyo nice to meet you,"
Inilahad niya ang kamay niya at ganun rin naman ako sakanya. Kahit naweweirduhan, we shook hands.
Mukha naman siyang mabait, Hindi matanggal ang ngiti sa mga labi niya makapal ang kilay, at kapansin pansin rin ang ganda ng pilikmata. His dark aura is making him scary but his voice was showing indifference. Mukhang playboy 'to ah.
"Ehem" napalingon ako kay Bea na nagpepekeng ubo sa gilid ko.
Tinignan ko siya. Ngiting-ngiti na ang bruha. I rolled my eyes on her.
"Ah, hi? ako si Bea nice to meet you!" she extended her arms. then they shook hands.
"Ikaw?"
Napataas ang kilay ko sa tanong noong lalaki.
"I mean what's your name?"
Tumango ako ng bahagya. Then gave a smile.
"Jelcy," He plastered a smile.
"Gueyo anong ginagawa mo dito?" Tumango ako bilang pagsang-ayon sa tanong ni Bea sakanya.
"I'm taking a walk,"
I gave him my 'what?' look.
Taking a walk?
"Don't you have classes?" ani Bea.
Pakiramdam ko'y mapupunit na ang labi niya kangingiti.
"Wala na," sagot niya.
Ilang sandali pa ay walang umimik saaming tatlo tahimik lang kaming nakaupo ni Bea at nakatitig sa pinto ng Dean's office.
“Ang tagal naman," Bea almost whispered.
"Marami kasing tanong ang Dean. Madami siyang pasikot-sikot," sagot ni Gueyo.
He shook his head.
Paano naman niya nalaman? posible kayang Einstein-1 siya? o 'di naman kaya sinubukan niyang pumasok sa Einstein-1 pero hindi natanggap?
"How can you be so sure?"
"I'm from Einstein-1," sagot niya na para bang nabasa niya kung anong tanong ang namumuo sa utak ko.
I cleared ny throat. Shock was evident in my face. He chuckled.
"Mauuna na ako, hihintayin ko kayo sa section ko," He wave his hands.
I was left dumbfounded. Hindi ko alam kung bakit ako gulat. Ang daldal kasi niya! hindi ko alam na madaldal pala ang mga Einstein-1 kapag wala sila sa room nila. And why would he say that? It’s as if sigurado siyang matatanggap kami.
"Jelcy?"
Naiangat ko ang ulo ko at tumambad saakin ang malungkot na mukha ni Ken.
I don't know how long I was staring at the floor.
I wanted to ask him what's wrong pero inunahan niya ako.
"Ikaw na ang susunod, pumasok ka na daw sa loob,"
Tumango ako at tumayo na.
Sa hindi malamang dahilan, parang nawala ang kaba ko nang makausap ko si Gueyo.
"hihintayin ko kayo sa section ko,"
It feels like someone is waiting for me there. And that I am always welcome.
Pinihit ko ang doorknob at diretsong pumasok sa loob. I scanned the whole place. It was surrounded by trophies, medals, and certificates in a frame. I tried to look for a picture but I found nothing. It's my first time here.
Sa harapan, may hindi kahabaang mesa at swivel chair. I saw Dean Arranya leaning thru the chair. He's attention was not on me. Nakatitig siya sa kawalan.
"Excuse me, Good morning, Dean."
Naagaw ko ang atensyon niya na nagpabalik naman sakanya sa ulirat.
Ngumiti siya at inayos ang kanyang kurbata. He cleared his throat at iminuwestra ang upuan sa tapat niya.
"Please take a sit,"
Sinunod ko naman siya.
Suddenly, I remember our interaction with each other sa loob ng campus. He's always all smiles. That made me think he's a good person. Everybody loves him being the Dean.
"What's your name again?" He asked.
"Jelcy Doque,"
"Is your family still alive?"
Sandali akong napahinto sa tanong niya. Why would he ask that? I don't feel comfortable with his question but I don't want to be rude.
"O-opo," I utter.
I feel uncomfortable with the way he asks. So, I'm stuttering. I avoided his eyes at pinaglaruan nalang ang mga daliri kong nakapatong sa aking hita.
"Where are they?"
He leaned against his desk with his elbow resting on it. His chin resting on the palm of his hand.
I took a deep breath then slowly let it out. Ang kaninang nawalang kaba, ay parang isang kuryenteng mabilis na pumasok sa sistema ko.
"Unfortunately, nasa Baguio po sila meron kasi silang maliit na business na pinapatakbo doon kaya po naiwan ako dito sa Manila para mag-aral. Dito kasi ako nakatanggap ng scholarship,"
I tried my best not to stutter.
"Are you brave?" he asked again.
Tama nga si Gueyo maraming paligoy-ligoy ang Principal maraming tanong kahit hindi naman konektado sa purpose talaga namin ng pagpunta dito.
"I don't know," mabilis kong sagot.
"In a scale of 1-10 how would you rate yourself?"
I took a deep breath before letting out a heavy sigh.
"9,"
"Why not 10?"
I’m at loss for words. Ano nga bang sasabihin ko? bakit 9? hindi 10? bakit ba kasi ganito ang tanong niya?
“To answer your question with a ten, I am not a brave person; I have flaws, I fall and weep, I sometimes get into difficult situations, and I sometimes do not face my problem; if you want to see how brave I am, throw me in a fight with a lion.”
He laugh making me shiver.
"Good point but incase that you will be given a chance to fight against a lion what are you going to do?," He asked, amused.
"I'm not going to run, I'm just gonna let that lion eat me or do whatever,"
He gave me a curious face craving for the reason why am I going to do that instead of running for my life from a lion.
"Because he's a lion, and I'm just a little human. 'Di hamak naman na mas malaki siya kay'sa saakin if I run, he'll chase me. Kaya hahayaan ko nalang siya," he nodded.
I saw the ghost of his smile.
"So, in real life, instead of fighting, you'll just surrender?"
That caught me off-guard. Hindi ako nag-iisip ng mabuti. Alam kong mali ang sagot ko. At kahit saan tignan, sa sinabi ko ay pinapakitang isa akong duwag.
"Honestly, I thought you'll defend your answer. But you keep quiet."
I know I'm not the bravest person in the world. I have weaknesses, I cry over little things.
Sa buhay, madalas akong madapa. We're not rich kaya sa murang edad, natuto akong tumayo sa sarili kong paa. Pero kahit nadadapa ako ng paulit-ulit, paulit-ulit rin akong tatayo.
Hindi ko alam kung pa'no ko ipagtatanggol ang sagot ko. Kasi kahit ako mismo, alam kong mali ako. Kaduwagan ang pinapakita ko sa statement na binigay ko.
"You're a scholar,"
Tumango ako bilang pagsang-ayon.
"You must be really good at studying,"
"Doon nalang po ako magaling," I confidently answer.
Kumunot ang noo niya at umiling-iling.
"You're underestimating yourself. You just don't know you're potential yet,"
Now he's giving me encouraging words. I really don't understand him.
"Mahirap lang po kami, without my scholarship, I can't go to this prestigious university. Kaya sa tingin ko, this is the only thing that I can do,"
He gave me a smile. I can't give it back. I was so nervous as hell.
"Trust me you can do something better than that,"
Confused, I look at him with a questioning eye.
"Like..."
Nagkibit-balikat siya at may kinuhang kung ano sa drawer niya. Isang kulay kahel na envelope. Binigay niya 'yon sa'kin ng may nakakalokong ngiti.
Tinanggap ko 'yon at pilit na hindi ipakitang nanginginig ang mga kamay ko. Agad ko 'yong binuksan at binasa ang nasa loob.

You are already a full part of Einstein-1, you will further improve your education and we hope this will be a step up your pace.
We hope you enjoy the study within Einstein-1. As long as you always remember:
NO ONE SHOULD KNOW.
Ibinalik ko ang tingin kay Dean Arranya.
"Being a survivor of life," dagdag niya sa naputol niyang linya.
Survivor of life.
What does he mean?
Every day, I am surviving life. Does he mean, there's more than that?
"I bet you we're interviewed like me,"
Nilingon ko si Ken na nakatingin sa kawalan. Pagkalabas ko kanina ay parehas kaming tahimik.
Dean is really something. He makes me think that I am losing pieces of my life like a puzzle. I don't doubt myself yesterday... But today, I feel like, I don’t know myself. There seems to be a lot more I need to know.
What does Dean Arranya mean by what he said to me? and what did he say to Ken? and what will he say to Bea?
I almost knocked myself against the wall because of the questions that were spinning in my head.
"Huwag mong masyadong isipin 'yon. Isipin mo nalang na mga words of wisdom 'yon galing kay Dean,"
"You should think like that too,"
"I will,"
Muli kong binasa ang huling mga salita ng sulat galing sa kulay kahel na envelope.
NO ONE SHOUD KNOW.
but what does that mean?