But seeing him now, it was somehow ridiculous for Mix to feel sad because that’s what he always wanted. However, it was really hard for him to deal with everything. Because stupidly enough, he want the old Spring back.
“Mix, we’re here.” He quickly nodded and unbuckled the seatbelt, took his bag and got off of the car. He followed Spring who walked in front of a house’s gate to ring the doorbell. “Your parents moved here two years ago, hindi mo ba alam?”
No. He basically wanted to forget everything before. Kaya nga ni isang araw ay hindi siya bumisita.
The gate opened, followed by Cheska's loud voice, screaming, “Kuya Mix!” Mix managed to smile and hugged his sister. “Ma! Pa! Nandito na si Kuya!” Good thing he wasn’t facing Spring. For Pete’s sake, he didn’t want to meet his eyes again. “Kuya Spring, ikaw pala ‘yan. Kanina ka pa hinihintay ni Papa, magsisimula na yata ‘yong volleyball.”
After letting go of the hug, Mix stared at them, puzzled. Since when did Cheska talked casually at Spring? “Oh? Dumaan pa ako kina Kuya kaya medyo natagalan. Sinauli ko pa rin ‘yong tricycle sa baranggay.”
“Mix, hijo!” His smile went even wide upon seeing his mother, followed by his father. Warm hugs and kisses came his way. With that, he realized how much he missed his family and that it was cruel for him to escape years ago. But wasn’t the regret too late? “Bakit ngayon ka lang? Gabi na, oh,” Marifer, her mother, asked with worry plastered in her face.
“Medyo naligaw lang po. Nalimutan ko na kasi kung saan ‘yong eksaktong lugar ng pinaglipatan n'yo,” he answered.
“Ang sabi ko naman kasi sa ‘yo ay bumisita ka rito buwan-buwan. Masyado ka naman yatang natutok sa pag-aaral,” Eduardo ranted. Mix scoffed at his father. “Oh siya, hayaan na at nangungunot nanaman ang noo mo. Pumasok na muna kayo at matunog diyan sa labas.” As Cheska held his arm when he walked inside, he could hear how his father laughed with Spring as if they get along really well. What happened now? Hindi ba’t dati ay takot na takot ito sa ama niya?
Mix let his confusion pass. Well, people really change. He can’t just stand there, wondering how it happened. “Kumain ka na ba, Kuya? Maraming pagkain sa ref, kakainit lang din ng ulam, birthday kasi ngayon ni Autumn.”
“Sinong Autumn?” Just before Cheska could answer, a dog came barking at Mix, seeing him a total stranger. “Sh*t!” He exclaimed when it ran near him. Fear resorted his chest and in a minute, he found himself on the floor, trembling.
“Cheska, kanina ko pa sinasabi sa ‘yong ikulong mo muna si Autumn, ‘di ba? Nalimutan mo na bang may cynophobia ang Kuya mo?” their father scolded. Cheska took Autumn away after apologizing as their mother helped Mix stand and sit on the sofa. “Mix, are you okay?”
He nodded, breathing in and out. From his peripheral vision, he saw Spring hand his mother a glass of water which she then gave him. His hands were still shaking as he held the glass to drink. “What are you feeling? Do you want to see the doctor?” his mother asked which he quickly responded by shaking his head. Mix met Spring's stare. He then shifted his eyes quickly. His heart pounded, and it wasn’t because of his phobia anymore.
“You should eat already. Saglit lang, ipapahanda ko muna ang mga pagkain,” Marifer said. Mix followed his mother to the dining room. He didn’t want to be left there, especially with Spring.
•••
The wind was cold outside, but it couldn’t beat Mix’s hands which felt like ice. He was walking slowly behind Spring and wished that it would stay that way. He was scared to look at him. He couldn’t even find the right words to say and he’s afraid that his voice might quiver. “Spring,” he called. “Salamat sa paghatid kanina.”
Spring faced him, smiled, and replied, “Always been my duty.”
“Mmm.” He smiled back though his tears seemed to be near already. Driving him home or anywhere had always been Spring’s duty years ago. Mix could clearly remember the happiness he felt whenever he’d saw him waiting outside his school. And how could he forget how Spring would not ask for payment because he said that being with him even for just a few minutes was already worth a thousand coins? That sure flattered his heart back then. But all of those.. is sadly different from now.
“Sorry din nga pala sa pag-trespass sa bahay mo kanina,” he added, apologizing. Spring chuckled.
“Okay lang. Pwede ka ring bumalik next time, kung gusto mo. We can get together, you know.. as old comrades. Besides, I know you liked my house.” Comrades. That term hurt. Mix was aware that if Spring mentioned something about their relationship before, it’d be awkward. Even so, that word hit him right in the heart. “I actually was the one who need to say sorry.”
“Para saan?”
“Autumn was my birthday gift to your father last year. Naikwento niya kasi sa ‘kin na wala raw siyang ginagawa kapag may bakante siyang oras. Kaya niregaluhan ko siya ng aso para mayroon siyang alagaan,” Spring explained, guilt was written on his face. “I didn’t know you had phobia on dogs so I’m sorry. I hope you’re okay now.”
“Okay na ako,” Mix answered to reassure him.
There was silence for a few seconds, not until Spring uttered, “So uhmm, mauna na ‘ko?”
Mix nodded. “Good night,” he said though it almost sounded like a whisper. He then quickly walked inside, with his hand on his chest, trying to feel his heart thudding. For a second, he wanted to punch himself because of what he felt.
“Come on, Mix, gising na si Spring, ikaw na lang ang hindi,” he told himself silently.