Ang magkasunod na pagkatok sa pinto ay siyang gumising kay Yesha na natutulog sa mahabang sofa. Alam niyang si Orville na 'yon. Sinipat niya ang suot na wristwatch at pasado alas onse na ng gabi. Saan ba ito nanggagaling at bakit ito umuuwi ng gano'ng oras. Kanina pa niya ito hinihinatay at hindi inaasahang darating ito sa ganong oras.
What was wrong with him? His mannerism seems changed and different from who was he before or a month ago. Hindi ito ang Orville na nakilala niya. All she knew was Orville is responsible husband kahit sa oras pa 'yon. Ang pinaka-late na pagdating nito ay alas-sais since day naman ang duty nito at hindi gabi. Now, it's eleven o'clock and just a few minutes left and the clock will strike for twelve. Isang tandang pananong 'yon sa kanya.
Wala siyang ibang ginagawa the whole day kundi ang linisin ang bahay, maglaba, at linisin ang bakuran. Wala pa silang kasambahay. Kahit kaya naman nilang magbayad para sa katulong ay wala pa sa plano niya ang humanap ng katulong. She wants to do all the chores, she want cooking, She wants to serve him. Mahal na mahal niya si Orville at ipakita niya 'yon through action and words.
While waiting for him an hours ago ay nagluto siya ng paboritong ulam ni Orville. Pero dahil sa hindi ito dumating kaagad ay lamig na 'yon at kailangan niyang painitin muli. Inabala man niya ang sarili niya sa mga gawaing bahay. Pero nasa isipan pa niya ang samyo ng suot ni Orville kahapon. She was sure of it na scent 'yon ng pangbabaeng perfume. At ang marka ng labi ng babae sa kwelyo ng shirt ng asawa niya ay naging pala-isipan sa kanya.
Kilala niya ang mga ka-trabahong babae ni Orville. Sa tingin niya ay mga desente ang mga ito. They're friendly and sa impormasyong nakuha niya sa asawa ay nasa relasyon na ang mga ito. So she wasn't having a problem with those girls. Hindi niya sila pinagdudahan.
Was he was having fun with a slut? Tanong niya sa sarili. Pero ano ang isasagot niya sa sariling tanong? Wala, wala. Ayaw niyang manghula at baka nagkataong magkatotoo pa. But the girl's instinct was always right and it was confirmed by some girls. Siya? Handa na ba siyang magduda kay Orville na may babae ito? Hell, she couldn't. Alam niyang mahal siya nito at hindi ito gagawa ng bagay na ikakasakit niya.
Mabilis siyang tumayo at humakbang sa pinto ng naging malakas na ang pagkatok nito sa pinto. She open the door slowly. Yes, it was Orville. He was drunk. Pangalawang gabi na nangyari 'yon. Una ay 'yong kagabi. Umuwi ng gabi at lasing, at ngayon umuuwing lasing na naman. Gusto niyang isipin na may problema ito. Pero kung may problema ito ay ano 'yon at bakit hindi nito 'yon buksan sa kanya.
She open the door wide and he entered without recognizing her. Dati pag-uwi nito at ‘pag nakita siya ay kaagad itong tumakbo sa kanya at hinalikan ang pisngi niya. Kakaiba na ito ngayon. Ano'ng lason ba ang naiinom nito at nagawa siya nitong nakalimutan. But she wasn't complaining though.
Umupo ito sa sala na hindi siya nito pinansin. Kahit gano’n ang ugali nito sa oras na 'yon she chose to understand him. He was under alcohol influence at alam niyang pagod pa ito. Humakbang siya palapit dito at hinubad niya ang mga sapatos nito. Inaalayan din niyang hubarin ang suot nitong long sleeve.
"Lamig na ang ulam pero painitin ko muna san-"
"No, kumain na ako kanina," mabilis na sambit nito na pumutol sa sinabi niya. Walang emosyon ang tono nito. She looks at him. He was looking at her too, his eyes were so cold than an icicle.
Totoong kumain na ba ito? Gusto niyang mag-usisa pero wala siyang lakas loob, ni walang salitang lumabas sa bibig niya at magtanong. Ibang Orville nga ang kaharap niya. Bakit hindi niya maramdaman ang pakiramdam na asawa niya ito?
"P-pero nagluto ako ng paborito mong ulam, sweetheart," she mentioned in her stuttered tone. She hopes na kakain ito at sasabayin siya.
"Again, I'm done eating," anito sa medyo mataas na tono.
Ibinagsak nito ang sarili sa kama. He close his eyes. She looks at him observing the peaceful soul of Orville. Was he sleeping? She asked and thought. He was not mean, he was just drunk. He's a good husband. The perfect husband in the entire world. He wasn't mean. He's good of good. Damn perfect good. 'Yon ang iniisip niya habang walang sawang pinag-masdan ang asawa.
Napailing siya at humakbang sa kusina para mag-painit ng tubig. While he was sitting alone there in the kitchen she felt a slight rumbling in her stomach, a vinegarlike gnawing inside her body. Gutom siya dahil hindi pa siya kumakain dahil 'yon sa kahihintay niya kay Orville. Ang akala niya ay kapag darating ito ay sasabayin siya nitong kumain. The fuck she was mistaken.
She sat alone and eating. The fact she lost her appetite and desire for food pero dahil sa demand ng tiyan niya kumain na lamang siya. She ate slowly while some thoughts thrust so hard in her mind. Paglipas ng ilang sandali ay basa na ang pisngi niya. She was crying while eating. Probably, that's the most hurtful one.
Ipinagtuloy niya ang pagkain at hinayaan lamang ang ilang butil ng luha niya sa pagpatak.
Nang matapos siya sa pagkain ay muli niyang puntahan si Orville na nakahiga sa Sofa. Himbing na ito sa pagtulog kaya hindi na niya isturbuhin ito at punasin ang katawan nito. Inilabas niya ang cellphone nito mula sa bulsa ng suot nitong slacks kanina. Pero hindi niya ma-open 'yon dahil may password. What? At kailan pang naglagay ng password si Orville. It seemed that he was hiding something from her.
Hindi na siya magdalawang isip pa na may babae ito. She was frozen. She was devastated. She was crazy over the text message pop on the screen of Orville's Phone.
Babe? Got home?
Pakiramdam niya ay sabay siyang binagsakan ng lupa at langit. Again her tears streamed down from her eyes. Every grain of her tears scorched her skin. What a secret Orville. A good husband having babe? What an itch, sweetheart. She finds Orville not horny. What was wrong with him?
Maayos niyang muling ibalik sa bulsa ng slacks nito ang cellphone nito. Umakyat na siya sa itaas at kumuha ng blanket at muling bumalik sa ibaba. She covered his body with a blanket. Then kissed his forehead.
Tahimik siyang nakahiga sa malambot na kamang sumalo sa kanyang mga luha. Ang dating antok na bumisita sa kanya kanina ay nawala na. Gusto niyang matulog na lang at kalimutan ang nangyari. Pero hindi siya makatulog. She feels that she didn't belong to this world, to his world. It seems that her place ay inagaw na ng iba. What was left to her? Title of being married to Mr. Orville Palmer, certificate of marriage, and the ring. Is that enough?
What can the title do? If his heart doesn't belong to her anymore. Pakiramdam niya ay may sumasakal sa kanya. Buong pagkatao niya, buong sistema niya ay halos hindi makapaniwalang may babae si, Orville. Pero paano kung isa lamang kaibigan 'yon ni Orville? Umaasa ang puso niya. At hindi pa naman niya kinumpirma pa 'yon.
He'll break your heart. I feel it, He's Don Juan. Believe me, Yesha. He's a gorgeous and sexy man. Do you think that his angelic face is enough for you? Why you're so stubborn? You cannot marry him. You can't, Yesha. He will make you insane and broke. He will drop you and you'll be shattered. If you don't believe me, the time comes and you will tell yourself. Mommy use to say about this kind of thing. He's not for you. You're too young to live a life that you and we never dreamt of.
She clearly remembered it. Those words come from her mother. She contradicted it noong gabing binuksan niya ang relasyon niya kay Orville at gusto nilang magsama bilang mag-asawa. Yesha clearly remembered her hysterical reactions. Was her mother was right? Pero kung sabihing sana ay nakinig siya. Hell, she couldn't do that. She loved Orville. A damn much love. Her mother was just saying absurd thoughts and vehement judgment towards Orville because simply she doesn't like him at all.
Yes, she was stubborn indeed. She was crying again. Kahit hindi siya nakikinig sa mommy niya ay may punto naman ito. He was breaking her heart indeed. Her mother was right. But he's decent for her. She was his wife. He was his husband. Sapat na 'yon at alam niyang kung totoong may kabit man si Orville ay wala itong lakas ilaban ang relasyon nila. She was legal. She was the right one for his place.
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Thank you