“Ah, it was delicious,” he said with a big smile. She smiled back at him and drank her can of Pepsi.
They were silent for a minute. They just looked at each other thinking of what to say and what to hear. It was Acwell who broke the silence by saying, “So, how are you? Don’t say you are okay. What exactly do you feel?” he asked while having a serious look.
“I feel scared,” she answered in tears.
“I know. But why?
“I feel I am going through this alone.”
“Why is that?”
“I don’t think you want this child.”
“Who said that?”
“I just feel that way. Our relationship has never been stable. Look, it’s been a month before you could even decide to talk to me. You could not message me or call me. I have to do it like a desperate woman trying to catch a man.”
“But I do!” he blurted.
“Huh!” she said. She thought she might have heard it wrong.
“I do want that child. I do want to be a father,” he said, but with a hint of sadness.
She burst into tears as she finally got the answer to the question that had been bugging her for a month. “But why does he look so sad?” is now the question that she has on her mind.
He hugged her and said, “So, you don’t have to cry. Instead, you have to be happy. We are going to have a baby. Where going to be parents. (paused) But there is something I need to tell you.”
She looked at him, still in tears. As for him, he looks sadder. “Remember last year, I had a fling with a girl during the month we broke up?“
“Yes, you said it was only for a week. But what about her?”
“I was still immature with my actions and choices back then. I feel like I want to try so many things because I was young. Even now I am still making mistakes, I am still learning but better than before.”
“I don’t see where this conversation is heading.”
“Kamiah, I made the biggest mistake of sleeping with her we ended up having a daughter.”
There, he finally drops the bomb. This is why he was looking so sad. She did not know that he slept with that girl all the more that they end up having a daughter. Her chest hurts as if there is a dagger stuck on it. She felt betrayed for the second time around. It made her sunk onto the sofa with her hands covering her face while her crying grew louder. He pulled her. She resisted. He pulled her again, and she gave in. She was still crying, so he held her tight as if he feared letting her go. Then, he continued talking sadly in a low voice.
“It was more than a week. But a week was enough for me to know that it was wrong. I did end it after one week. But two weeks after, she called to tell me she is pregnant. We tried to get back together but I can’t stand her. I can’t stand living a life with her. So, we finally end it and stop talking to each other. But I feel hurt that I abandoned my daughter. I grew up not really knowing my father. I have seen how my mother struggled to raise me by herself before she met my stepfather. So, I went back to communicating with her just early this year. I sent her an email, and she replied saying she had a daughter. We decided to at least communicate via WhatsApp, for Amara's sake. She would send me pictures and videos of her and I helped her financially.”
She was still sobbing while listening to him talking. She feels so helpless that there is nothing she can’t do but accept something that hurts her deeply.
“Why you did not tell me this before?” she asked.
“I was waiting for the right moment,” he answered.
“So, now that I am pregnant, you feel like this is the right time?”
“For me it is. To let you know I am not just a father of one but soon a father of two.”
Her sobbing continued as his confession. “That day that you showed me the pregnancy test result, I was so happy. I wanted to see you, hugged you, and kissed you. But it reminded me of Amara. She came first and I am not there for her. I feel like it was not fair to her. I was sick and got even sicker of thinking about what should I do. I know if I tell you I can’t be with you to be fair with her, you will walk out of my life for good. I could not eat and sleep with the thought of losing you. I could not bear the pain. It brought me tears at night. Then, I realized it’s not fair to me, to you and our child not to be given a chance. I gave Amara's mother a chance. I was willing to sacrifice my happiness but all we do is bicker.”
He looked at her again and said, “I know it hurts. You don’t deserve it. I wish I could go back and undo my past for you and our child. I wish I was not that stupid to play around. But, it is what it is. And that experience, made me know who I want to be with. I want to be with you. I want to have a family with you and no one else.”
“I don’t know what to say. I am happy, angry, and deeply hurt. I don’t know which emotion is better in helping me decide. You betrayed me once and now for the second time. It is not fair that I have to accept something that I did not choose. It is so unfair that a part of me will always be hurt by your betrayal.”
He was quiet fighting back tears as she keeps talking.
“But I am going to try for my baby, I am going to try. I will stay with you rather than walk away. And I hope that starting from now, you would show me that it’s not a mistake.”
He pulled her in order for him to hug her and then kiss her.