Farhan awoke with a sharp pain at his temple and an awful taste in his mouth, the room looked dark but from the sounds outside he guessed it was already day break. His whole body ached as he struggled to sit up, getting to his feet, he proceeded to perform his ablution and perform his salaat, he couldn’t remember the last time he missed the morning congregational prayers, the whole change was affecting him badly, judging from how he was feeling, he seemed to be coming down with a cold, since that Risha girl had emptied a whole bucket of cold water on him. About 20mins later he was ready for work, all the time his stomach gnawing with hunger, he couldn’t remember ever feeling this hungry in his entire life, he had gone to bed with a very empty stomach, to his disgust, he had discovered that the stores in the neighbourhood hardly stayed open beyond the Maghreb prayer, he missed his own lively neighbourhood, yes the areas was definitely over populated and noisy but it was lively also you could buy almost anything even in the late hours of the night, here in this so called rich neighbourhood, no such luxuries existed. By 7:30am he was ready to leave, he would pass her room quickly and silently hoping she was still asleep, he was not in any condition to stand her childishness. At the parlour down stairs, he perceived a nice aroma from the dining table and to his surprise, she was sitting there eating. From the way she was dressed and the heavy make ups she had on, it looked like she was going somewhere. He looked at her hoping she would invite him to join her.
Risha stopped when he walked down, she noticed he was staring at her, “the fool” she thought, “he didn’t look so good this morning, his tie was out of place and didn’t even match the suit he was wearing, his silky hair was uncombed and he looked tired. She smiled contented with what she saw.
When she didn’t say anything or invite him to join her as he had hoped, he made his way toward the door.
“Stop there” her voice lashed out “did I not tell you yesterday that you are to greet when you see me?”
He turned slowly. To study her for a few seconds as if contemplating what to say. She could tell he was struggling with his emotions. His face clouded but he said nothing.
“Well?” she demanded, flashing him a hard look
“Good morning, hope you rested well” he said
“Bad morning to you,” she replied standing up, “hope you had a bad night”
Involuntarily he smiled at her statement, he decided to play along. “It was terrible thank you”
“What did I say about smiling in front of me?” she fired up, angry in an instant.
“Was she always this angry or is it just towards me?” he wondered. He closed his eyes a little to minimize the headache he was feeling. Deciding that he didn’t need to answer that, he turned walked out ignoring her.
Risha watched as he walked away still smiling, leaving her angry and provoked as usual, “what is it about this idiot that always gets me so upset?” She wondered trying to calm her nerves. Today was a big day for her and she didn’t intend to ruin it. It was her final day as a youth corps member. After today, she was a certified doctor. Not that she cared that much for earning a useless certificate, she had only studied medicine because that was mother’s wish… at that thought, she closed her eyes as sadness engulfed her entire being. “Mother,” she whispered “I have fulfilled my promise, are you proud of me?” a tear now flowed down her beautiful cheek unchecked. At the moment, she looked nothing like the ice lady every one despised and feared. No, she looked weak, troubled, hurt, innocent and in pain. Slowly, she walked toward the giant television stand and picked up a seemingly hidden portrait that lay facing down. “Mother I miss you so much” allowing her tears to flow unchecked, she held the portrait to her chest affectionately, the pain in her heart becoming almost unbearable. She heard a sound, startled she turned to see him there staring at her in shock and evident disbelieve. “What the hell was he doing here?” She thought, “hadn’t he gone already?” quickly, she turned her back to him, using her sleeves to dab at her tears. Carefully, she returned the frame to its early position, taking deep breaths, she fought to get her emotions under control. “He must not think I am weak; he should never see me like this…” but when she turned, he was gone. She blinked in surprise; she heard no sound to indicate that he had used the door. “What is wrong with me” she thought getting angry at her own clumsiness. “Mummy doesn’t deserve this, this day belongs to her, I should not be crying, she thought making up her mind.
With that thought in mind, she put on her dark shade goggles, breathe deeply and was ready for her day. Once again, every inch the dreaded ice queen.
Farhan drove absent minded, deep in thought. “What was all that about?” he kept asking himself he had never imagined a girl like her had tears in her being not to talk more of crying, she looked so different, so lonely, so much like the child she really was.
“What has made her so cold?” he wondered, until a few minutes ago when he had stepped in the parlour and saw her like that, he had totally made up his mind that she was a some crazy, spoiled and obsessed or more appropriately possessed rich kid. But what now he wasn’t so sure…he hadn’t really given a detailed thought to the kind of person she was; he had been too stunned for that, but now his reluctance had been replaced by a certain kind of curiosity. “What had she been looking at?” he kept wondering, “it looked like a portrait, but whose?”
Although not been certain about all these, he was certain about one thing, “this girl wasn’t who she pretended to be.” He didn’t know why, but he felt sure of that one thought. He smiled a little and whispered to himself, as his car approached his work place. “Maybe she’s not so bad.”
“Don’t count on it” his own sceptical mind responded warning him. “All that glitters is not gold”
“Yes, and all that is golden does not glitter” he thought smiling at the irony of the thought. But by the time he got to the entrance, all thought about her was forgotten and the only thing he could think about was one thing, “FOOD!!!”

The sun was at its mid, scorching hot, the wind blew slowly, too slow to calm the effect of the heat on the hundreds of students standing around, some stood in lines, awaiting their clearance, others were scattered around in small groups conversing, many held their sweaters in their hands, some had it tied around their waist. It had been cold in the morning; hence most had dressed up heavily. It was a rowdy scene as people moved around excitedly, old friends catching up, guys doing the usual wooing and teasing the ladies, sellers moving around in efforts to sell their goods.
Risha hated such gatherings to the fullest, it forced her to be in the company of such “low lives” as she termed them left to her, she would have preferred schooling abroad, but daddy wouldn’t let her. She sat under the shade of the umbrella tree scrolling through her phone, a few ladies sat close to her all dressed in their NYSC uniforms. They had been conversing in their lady fashion, Risha ignored them totally as if they were non-existent as far as she was concerned all they good for was gossip.
“You know, I really love him” one of the girls was saying.
“You keep saying that, Zainab, but these days, I wonder whether you are trying to convince yourself or others, two years ago, I would have believed you, but not any more girl” one of her companions replied.
The girl called Zainab just smiled sadly and said, “let me deceive myself Aisha, it’s all I can do now, if leave him where do I start from? We have courted three years now, my parents literarily see him as family, no one will support my decision, all my parents want for me now is to get married, I am lucky they even let me finish my degree programme.
“But you have to think of yourself also” Aisha was saying seriously, “It’s not sensible for you to marry someone you know is a bad person”
“I don’t think he is a bad person; he wasn’t like this at the beginning, he had been really nice, caring attentive and loving. I don’t know what changed and sometimes I feel it’s me, because he is still nice to other people, just not me. I have given this a lot of thought, but I just can’t understand him anymore” Zainab replied sadly.
“I feel for you sis” another whispered consolingly, pray about it, things might get better.”
“I hope so, I really do” Zainab said smiling determinedly.
“It won’t get better girls” Risha announced not even bothering to look away from her phone. She had not intended to intrude in their discussion, but she just could not stand such stupidity and ignorance. “Men are like union, they are all the same, layer after layer, when you get to a new layer it looks good at first, but just give it time, and it’s as rough as before.” She continued still looking at her phone.
The girl called Zainab looked hurt “How heartless you are” she said weakly when she finally could speak.
Risha raised her head slowly to stare at the girl “maybe I am heartless, but it doesn’t mean I am wrong, you all want people to pat you on the shoulder and tell you what you want to hear. Well girl, that won’t help you much, what you need to hear is the truth and the facts on ground.” Risha continued, pinning the girl with her sharp daring gaze. “this so-called guy of yours doesn’t love you, when you claim to love something, you value it above all else, how could you even still call him your fiancé if he treats you like you say he does? Guys behave like that when they feel trapped or when they feel superior to the girl they are dating” Risha paused a little to observe her nails. “You are angry at him aren’t you?” She asked the stunned girl.
Ashamed, Zainab looked down to hide the truth of Risha’s statement.
“You feel low, inferior and insignificant don’t you?” Risha continued enjoying the effect her words were having. “You appreciate him for being nice to others, yet you despise the fact that he is rarely nice to you, right? You feel anger and frustration and you want to express yourself right? Risha asked smiling a little.
The girl raised her head, grief evident on her face, slowly, she nodded at Risha.
“Then why don’t you?” Risha asked a little affectionately now.
“Because I am scared I will lose him, because I am terrified he will leave me” Zainab answered.
“You lost him the day you refrained from speaking your mind, from expressing yourself, from being the real you, you lost him because you have lost your true self and I think that is who he fell in love with, the real you” Risha commented expertly.
Everyone in the little group had become quiet, attentively listening as Risha spoke, subconsciously; some nodded in approval to what she was saying. Zainab looked very weak at the moment.
“What should I do” she asked revealing her helplessness.
“Knock him on the head with the hill of your shoes.” Risha commented nonchalantly, everyone laughed at the supposed joke, little did they know the crazy girl wasn’t joking at all. “Regain your real self” Risha continued, you are not bad looking at all, so don’t let any joker make you feel low, don’t ever let someone’s opinion of you determine how you perceive yourself. So, the next time that guy annoys you or treats you wrong, make a conscious effort to give him a piece of your mind, express yourself without fear, if he is dumb enough to leave because you speak up, then the fool never deserved you in the first place, you dump him before he has a chance to do it to you” she said in a conclusive way, signalling the end of the discussion.
“But my parents,” the girl said weakly, “they won’t understand, they won’t let me. Besides, they know what is best for me, right?” The girl said as if asking herself also.
“The wisdom of parents is overrated trust me” Risha said like some expert. “You are the one who will be living with this guy not them, if he is indeed a wrong choice, you suffer the consequences not them, this marriage stuff is a lifelong commitment, believe me, you don’t want to spend it with the wrong person. The way I see it, your parents are more worried of their reputation taking a downturn, than they love you. My advice is, if they try to force you into marrying somebody that you are convinced is not right for you, walk away from them, if not, you will just end up hating them in the end and that’s far worse believe me.”
The girl Zainab smiled genuinely for the first. “Thanks a lot sis, I will give that a try”
In response, Risha just nodded, her attention already on her phone again. The other girls observed her curiously, some smiling in admiration of her ideals, others looking clearly impressed, some looking just a bit envious.
Risha didn’t even bother sparing a single glance at their direction, her thoughts already occupied with her latest hubby, “how to hurt a husband”.
***
Risha pressed the pillow to her face in a desperate attempt to block the annoying sound and find some sleep, it was around 1am and still she could not sleep.
“Uurh!”, she exclaimed in disgust as she heard him sneeze loudly again and again, “when will he stop? He is driving me crazy.” She felt like screaming into the pillow. A few minutes passed without any sound, hoping she had heard the last for the night, she tried to find some sleep. But just as sleep began to take her on its wings, he sneezed again.
“Aaaarh!!! That’s it,” she exclaimed jumping down from her bed. Angrily, she raced for his room, debating what to smack the fool with.
As she barged into the room however, she stopped at the sight she saw. He was covered in thick blankets, shivering, his nose running free. Seeing him like that diffused some of her venomous anger. Although his eyes were open, she could tell he had not noticed she was there.
He sneezed again.
“Stop it”, she screamed, “stop it right now, you are driving me crazy”
He just turned his head to stare at her, confused. “I can’t help it”; he whispered in a weak voice, “do you have any drugs?”
“Do I look like a chemist owner to you? I don’t care about what is wrong with you, you are interrupting my sleep, go down stairs if you must sneeze” she countered savagely.
“It’s all your fault,” he said weakly.
“What? My fault?” she asked surprised, “just how is this my fault?”
“You poured cold water over me, didn’t you? It’s so cold these days”
She stopped surprised and just for a few seconds, her iron heart softened a little and she almost pitied his situation.
“Well…, well I didn’t expect for this to happen” she stammered feeling guilty.
Sitting up, he smiled a little, “I doubt that” he said weakly, closing his eyes to minimize the head ache that he was feeling.
Instantly her anger was back and her guilt disappeared. “So, you can still smile huh? In fact, I was wrong, I am glad about this.” She snapped her eyes narrowing.
“Good, so why are you here?” He asked thoughtfully. “This is what you wanted right? So just put up with the consequence. There are always consequences for our actions you know?”
His words made her stop and think something and she had to agree he was right. “All this happened because of my actions,” but her pride refused to let her accept the reason of her mind “…this is all his fault,” some crazy voice whispered in her head, “everything is his fault, this marriage, you having to live in this house again, all of it. So, no matter what you do now, its justified”. She liked that line of thought and stuck to it.
“Look I am not in the mood for your stupid philosophy, it’s all babble. Just stop sneezing or go down stairs period.” She concluded turning to leave.
Involuntarily, he groaned as the head ache gripped him a little harder, rubbing his throbbing temple. She stopped and turned. His eyes were closed in pain.
Something stirred deep inside her and before she could even think, she found herself walking slowly to his side.
He opened his eyes a little and gazed at her, then without a word, he slowly got to his feet pulling a pillow and the blanket with him.
She watched as he made his way lazily for the door.
“And where are you going?” She asked as if she didn’t know.
Ignoring her, he just walked out the door, she stared at nothing for a few seconds fighting her own conscience. She looked round the room, it looked neat and tidy, compared to the last time she had entered, some of her childhood toys were still in the room, well arranged on the shelf, the rug was swept clean, and a certain fragrance permeated the room.
“Why not at least give him some drugs” her mind suggested, “what for?” she snapped angrily arguing with herself, “he won’t disturb me now period”. With that thought in mind she went back to her room and got into bed, few minutes passed and still she couldn’t sleep, she kept thinking about him down stairs in the cold parlour shivering under the blanket
“I don’t care.” she told herself, tossing and turning.
After a few minutes, she couldn’t lie there any longer. Angrily, she sat up, got to her feet and walked out her room and down the stairs.
She decided if he was asleep, “I will come back and sleep, if he wasn’t sleeping, I will give the fool some drugs.” Her own weakness surprised her. “What is wrong with me?” she kept asking herself as she walked down the stairs.
When she saw him, he was lying on the couch, his eyes closed, but he was still shivering.
She debated going back to her room and forgetting everything. But her conscience won, she stepped closed and whispered “hey.”
His eyes opened a bit.
“Sit up” she instructed nonchalantly
Surprised he asked “what?”
“Sit up” she snapped, “don’t make me repeat myself.”
He obeyed slowly.
Coming close, she reached out and used her palm to feel his temple.
He jerked involuntarily, shocked by the contact, she too stiffened when her hand had touched him.
He looked at her suspiciously, “what are you doing?” He asked
“Taking your head to use as my pillow, are you blind?” She countered, “I am checking your temperature” she said avoiding his gaze.
“What for?” He asked still suspicious.
“Look do you want my help or not? Or will you rather stay here and shiver?” She asked angrily
He didn’t reply but she saw him relax a bit.
“Now, I need to check your stupid temperature,” she announced like a professional.
“Didn’t you just do that?” Her mind teased, “or do just need an excuse to touch him again?” The thought frightened and annoyed her, she hesitated. Slowly, her fingers touched him again, he was burning up just as she had expected. Then involuntarily, in their own accord, she realised her fingers had moved to his brows. Shocked she almost jumped back as she quickly moved away from him, her breathing came in gasps as she struggled with something deep in her chest.
He raised his brows inquisitively but kept his mouth shut.
Avoiding his gaze, “you are running a temperature, I think you have a fever” she declared. Then without another word, she walked majestically to the cupboard at the far end of the parlour close to the dining table and a few seconds later, she was standing before him again, her hands outstretched, “take this she instructed.”
He looked at what she was offering him, some tablets.
Slowly he accepted it, surprised.
She went into the kitchen and returned with a glass of water.
“Here”, she said handing him the glass.
As he reached out to collect it, their fingers touched. She felt the shock emit from his fingers to hers, holding his gaze for a few seconds, before pulling her hands away. She felt silly and weak for no good reason and it annoyed.
A few seconds passed and still he didn’t take the drugs.
“Well?” She snapped, “what is it?” She demanded in a rough tone, “it’s not expired if that is what you are thinking I checked it. just drink the damn thing and let me go and sleep…”
“It’s not that.” he said weakly
“Then what is it? Why aren’t you taking it?”
“I haven’t eaten, I am empty…”
“What? She asked in shock, “since when?”
“Yesterday”, he answered weakly, “or the day before, I think” he said checking the clock.
“You fool” she scolded, “why?”
He looked at her reproachfully, as if to say “ask me again”
“You didn’t eat something when you were out yesterday?” She asked
He shook his head.
“What is wrong with you?”
“I don’t like eating in restaurants, and you didn’t keep any dinner so…”
“Look, stop that rubbish” she almost screamed, “first you blame me for your being ill and now you blame me for this too? Couldn’t you at least buy some snacks when you got back? Are you really this daft?”
“Well, I wanted to, but all the shops were closed, it’s always cold in the evening and so they don’t stay as late as they would normally”, he tried to explain. “But thank you any ways, I can manage till the morning.”
“Don’t thank me just yet, I am not doing this for gratitude, I don’t want you dying on me that’s all. I still have a lot of hurting to do to you and I won’t let you spoil my plan by dying.”
He just smiled a little but said nothing
She stared at him in wonder, “what kind of a silly fellow was he”, she thought. Yes, she had wanted to starve him a little but not like this.
Pacing angrily, she tapped her fingers on her thigh her other hand resting on her waist. “What do I do now?” she thought angrily? At intervals she stopped to stare at the him, she was tempted to just abandon him and go back to her room but she couldn’t bring herself to leave. Feeling like a little girl who was being forced against her will, she walked angrily to the kitchen leaving Farhan to wonder at this strange lady.
He heard sounds from the kitchen and after a little while, she returned holding a plate and a fork.
“Here, eat this, it’s the only thing in the house right now.”
It was noodles.
His hungry stomach immediately responded with a strange sound of joy, embarrassed he looked away hoping she did not hear it.
Despite her anger, she couldn’t help feeling sorry for him. She wanted to smile at his embarrassment but she stopped herself.
He tasted it and stopped, then glanced at her, an unreadable expression coming into his eyes.
“How is it”, she asked before she could stop herself.
“It’s good” he said, trying to smile. He took another mouth full and chewing slowly. It was so hard, almost like she had just soaked it in water.
“It’s been long since I cooked anything” she found herself saying, before she even realised it again.
He nodded and smiled, “it’s not bad, thank you.”
She struggled and succeeded once more in stopping the smile that played at her lips. For some weird reason she felt some pleasure at his satisfaction.
Farhan endured until he had finished everything, it did make him feel better, the heat of the food helping with the cold.
“Well, what are you waiting for? Drink the damn medicine, I want to sleep today if you don’t mind…” her own words surprised her, when she realised what it implied.
He took the drugs and rested his head on the sofa, slowly, he took steady breaths as his eyes closed. Risha sat quietly observing him. Involuntarily, she began analysing his features, he had a lean strong but gentle male face, pointed nose, thin lined pink lips. His beard was a little bushy but well-shaped, his moustache was tripped to follow the line of his curvy lips. He had those kinds of brows that made women enthralled, full and curvy. While sitting like that, he didn’t look so tall but he was, the fact that he was taller than her was enough proof and she was no short lady by any means. Subconsciously, her mind began to imagine how it would feel moving her hands over that face. She jerked her face away quickly remembering the shock she felt when she had touched him earlier.
“What the hell is wrong with me?” Risha thought standing up, her anger beginning to resurface.
“Hey!” She spoke harshly, he did not respond. “Hey!” she tried again a little louder, still no reply, surely he could not have fallen asleep that fast. She kicked his leg with a little force. He just stirred a bit, bringing his legs up to lie comfortably on the couch.
“The idiot” she scuffed angrily, but totally against her will, she pushed his legs properly onto the chair and taking the blanket covered him.
It felt kind of nice and comforting doing these little things for someone else. taking a few seconds to observe his handsome face, she looked away quickly as soon as the stupid urge to touch him gripped her again. Slowly she backed away and made her way for the stairs. It was all the sleep, the crazy urges she was having, it had to be the lack of sleep. And as she walked up the stairs and into her room, she couldn’t help wonder whose victory this was. “We shall see” she whispered to herself, “tomorrow I will collect in full.”