Zachary Point of View
THE COLD BREEZE got me an urge to wake up, alas kwatro palang ng umaga ay napagdesisyunan ko nang tumayo at magising sa malalim na pagkakatulog. I forgot to close the window of my room that's why my sleep has been interrupted.
Kaagad kong inilagay muli ang relo sa braso ko saka tumungo sa counter, I am still not relieve on what I witness. Naninibago lang ako dahil masyadong magulo na ang buhay ko.
I felt like I never want to chose love again, Hindi ko alam kung anong sasabihin ko pagdumating si Elise. Wala na akong masasabi o matatanong sakanya, I don't want to hear anything about her.
Pagkatapos kong ihanda ang aking umagahan ay dumiretso na ako papunta sa gym para magensayo, I put the barbell tight on my hands and take a grip on it.
Dahan-dahan kong binuhat ito at napasigaw dahil sa lakas o bigat na ibinibigay nito, the pain came back on it's own sense. Nanumbalik muli ang masakit na narinig ko mula kay Elise, I want to put every single pain I heard on this heavy, I screamed and put my full force on the barbell.
Nabitawan ko ito ng marinig ko ang tunog ng doorbell, anong oras na ba at may kumkatok na sa kwarto ko? sinipat ko ang relo sa braso ko at nang malaman isang oras na akong nagbababad sa paggawa ng routine.
Tumayo ako kahit gusto ko pang tapusin ang pageensayo saka pumunta sa pinto, when I already hand the doorknob. My eyes increased as I open the door wide and saw the face of Elise.
Every strings of pain strummed my heart again, lumabas ang sama ng loob ko at gusto ko man ipakita ang aking galit ngunit pinipigilan ko.
"Zach, I missed you." Elise said and she was trying to hug me but I avoided it as I stare at her face once, I showed my madness over my expression.
I want her to realize what he done to me, I admit that I want to put my guilt infront of her but I can't. I just want to hear her side and thats the only thing I can do.
"Zach may nangyari ba? Tell me, you can share your problems to me, love." his endermeant really disgusted me, all those love call he sent always every day. Lahat lang naman iyon ang pinaka-pekeng salitang narinig ko.
"Hindi na kailangan Elise, may gusto akong malaman sayo. At sino nga ba talaga ako sayo?" I asked and felt my lone tears fall down at my eye, i'm now emotional seeing how she reacts like it must be a mistake or i'm joking.
"Zach, anong nangyayari sayo? Just tell me, i'm tired and I decided to spent here for this morning just to be with you." I squeezed my eyes shut as I helped my tears to fall down, naramdaman ko ang mga daliri nitong dumapo sa pisngi ko para punasan iyon.
"Why are you crying Zach? May mali ba?" She asked as I pushed her hard against the door, nagulat siya sa gawing iyon ng muli kong titigan siya.
"Elise, tell me why? Oo may mali sa atin, at ikaw iyon!"
"Anong mali Zach? I am always here to give the love that you wanted and take care for you until we grow old. Walang mali saakin Zach! Bakit nangyayari ito sayo, hindi naman tayo nagkakaproblema 'ha?" Idiniin ko pa ang sarili sa mukha niya, at hinayaan na pumatak ang aking mga luha sa harapan niya.
"Why did you cheated on me? Why I am so clueless that you have an affair over in our fake relationship! Tell me why did you used! Tell me!" I screamed over my lungs, napansin kong napako siya sa kanyang kinagagalawan at hindi malaman kung ano ang ekpresyon nito dahil blanko.
"Why did you cheated on me, tell me!" I punched the door hard near on her shoulders, nagulat siya at muli niya akong binigyan ng nagmamakaawang titig.
"I didn't cheat on you Zach!" kaagad ko siyang tinulak palabas ng bahay ko, sinamaan ko siya ng tingin saka itinuro ng daliri.
"Don't come here anymore, lets not see each other. I want to end this relationship, we're done!" I said nonchalantly as I slammed the door hard, bumagsak ang katawan at tila'y nanghihina ng tuluyan ko nang mailabas ang aking galit.
And then I heard the knock of Elise, I just bit my hand to cease my cries. Patuloy ang paghikbi ko habang naririnig ang kanyang boses sa kabila ng pinto.
Men always cry, when their trust and love dies. I don't want to cry because of a simple relationship, but it has a huge impact on me and also for what I did when we we're still a partner.
"Zach! Buksan mo 'to magusap tayo, I didnt cheat on you. Kausapin mo 'ko! Zach open this goddamn door now!" I ignore her scream and let my tears escape on my swollen eyes.
"Zach! Please! Zach! Open this."
I WOKE UP being tired and nowhere, nakaupo parin ako sa pinto at nakitang umaga na. I looked at my wristwatch and I found out that its already afternoon.
Tumayo ako at hinarap muli ang pinto, Is Elise was here? Naghihintay pa ba kaya siya? Kaagad kong binuksan ang pinto at nakitang wala na siya roon, her presence are now gone.
And my heart felt twisted as I looked down at the floor, It was Elise note.
'Im sorry Zach, just call me if you want to talk about what happen awhile ago, I love you.' Kaagad kong kinuha iyon at saka itinapon sa basurahan.
I don't want to talk at her again, masyadong nagiging masama ako sa sarili ko kung gagawin ko 'yon.
I'm done with her and none of the hell that I will still comeback to her. Kaagad na akong bumalik sa gym para kunin ang phone ko mula sa table. Una kong napansin ang pangalan ni Lara sa browser.
Wait? I remember her again, I should visit her and also gusto ko pang marinig ang pagpapasalamat niya dahil sa binili kong kotse sakanya, how dare I am to spent that money in just an instance.
I agreed on, but I felt like I just waste my money for nothing. I am drunk and vulnerable that time.
I STOPPED on the near mart to buy some fruits or food packs, naalala ko kung bibisitahin ko daw siya kailangan pa daw ng pasalubong. It is required for her.
That girl has charisma on me.
I drive my car for almost an hour before I arrived at Lara's address, A big wide condinium surprised my eyes as I walked towards the entrance.
Malaki ang tinitirahan ni Lara, napapansin ko rin na parang five-star hotel ang similarities nito. Kaagad akong tumungo sa guard na nasa reception.
"Sir, reservation for room?" the guard ask I shook my head an instance.
"No, is there Lara Moorgreese who lived here?" I asked and the guard respond to give a quick view on the paper.
"Yes, may appointment po ba kayo sir?" tanong nito at tumango ako kaagad.
"I just want to visit her." I reply.
"Sige po sir, hintay muna kayo. At tatawagan ko po kung papayagan kayong bisitahin siya." utal nito at tumango muli ako, the guard just click some random number and then he grab the telephone.
"Miss Morgreese,"
"Miss Morgreese?"
"Sir, hindi sumasagot. Hayaan niyo papayagan ko na lang kayo pumunta sakanya, nasa fifth floor lang po ang condo niya. Salamat sir." ngumiti ako sa guard at nagpasalamat rin, muli kong inamoy ang sarili kung ayos ba.
I checked myself I was presentable, gladly, my attire is still neat. Pumunta ako sa elevator at saka pinindot ang button paakyat sa tinutuluyan niyang condo.
When I got there, I look for her rooms until I saw a named Lara on the sign of wooden door. Hahawakan ko na sana ang doorknob ng mapansin kong bukas ito.
Did she leave and forget the door open? or baka hinayaan niya lang na nakabukas ito?
I walked and enter there quietly as I roamed my eyes at her room, napansin kong makalat ang sahig nito pati ang kusina ay natatambakan ng hugasan na pinggan.
Napatawa ako ng tago ng mapansin makalat ang kwarto niya, and then I found Lara's on the couch. Having a deep sleep at this afternoon hour.
Kaagad kong kinuha ang cellphone ko saka kinunan siya ng litrato dahil sa nakakatawa niyang mukha habang tulog.
I sat infront her and waiting her to woke up, until she notice me and found out that she's in half-sleep.
"Goodmorning." biro ko sakanya.
"Goodmorning din, di ka nagsabing pupunta ka rito. Magaayos pa ako ng kwarto." bungad nito saka pinilit na umupo sa couch, "may dala ka ba diyan?" tanong nito saka ipinakita ang dala kong paper bag ng pagkain at prutas.
"Yeah, as what you said I should bring you some goods here." ngumiti siya. "Yan ang gusto ko, thanks."
"Gusto mo bang pagtimplahan kita ng kape? O kahit anong umagahan?" tanong niya at tumawa ako, "It is now afternoon and I just finish my lunch."
Her eyes widened, "God! Akala ko pa talaga umaga, I promised myself to woke up early and now I am still lying and being lazy."
"Im sorry about the mess, Zach." utal nito, "No, thats fine. How about I treat you some lunch, lets go out somewhere?" tanong ko at ngumiti siya.
"Finally, a worthy visitor."
I WAITED her for an hour before she came out already prepared, and already clean her mess on her condo. Nakasuot lang ito ng simpleng oversized t-shirt at mahabang shorts pares ng kanyang tsinelas.
I just want to burst in laugh after I found out that she's not good in outfit, well actually she is totally a mess.
Isinakay ko muna siya sa kotse ko at iniwan ang kanyang brand na binili ko sa parking lot ng condo, tumuloy kami sa isang restaurant na nagoffer ng iba't-ibang dishes para naman may maipamalas ako kay Lara.
"Oh, Thai Cuisine. Good." utal niya saka bumaba, sinundan ko siya hanggang sa marating namin ang bakanteng upuan kung saan may dalawang silya.
The waiter handed us a menu for food, and I offered Lara to order what she want.
Hindi ko alam kung ginagawa ko ba 'to para pagtakpan ang sakit na nararamdaman ko. I felt having out with Lara is just a cleanse on my pain, he is really comforting me somehow.
Ilang minuto ay inihanda na ng waiter ang inorder namin na pagkain, "Enjoy your meal, Maam and Sir."
"Thankyou pala dito Zach, I didnt expect that you'll come just to offer some fancy meal. Namiss ko na rin ito for almost pagtitiyaga sa mga canned and stored foods sa condo." ngumiti ako, "Its fine, just enjoy."
"May gusto ka bang i-topic? Nagpapasalamat rin pala ako sa pagbigay mo ng bagong kotse, actually my car was already broke and thankfully it change at coincidence as I wish that someone would break my car and pay the mess." Tumingin siya sakin at kumindat, "thanks to you."
Nasamid ako sa inumin saka ibinalik muli ang atensyon sakanya, The hell did I just waste my money.
"Its good, well I just want to ask. May trabaho ka bang pinapasukan?" tanong ko at muli siyang tumingin pagkatapos sumubo ng ilang dish sa kanyang plato.
"I am working on my friends clothing line, minsan naman ay nagiging encoder. I worked for my everyday life and thats my cycle." kaagad kong kinuha ang ticket mula sa wallet ko.
"I think your day-off is Sunday right?" tanong ko at tumango siya.
"I bet you want to watch how I win a championship game? I am a basketball player, hindi naman sa pinipilit kita pero kung gusto mo, just go and have this ticket." I said and then she grabbed it quick.
"Yeah, i'll go. Just think that I accept this for the car not to you." she winked that made my heart fluttered.