She looked at me with a dull expression and blowed the bubble gum from her mouth. "Seriously? What's up with you, today? Una, 'yang uniform mo at bagong hairstyle. Pangalawa, your silly question."
"Tee-hee," I replied with my tongue out. She cringed.
Well, tinutukoy niya sa una ay 'yung sudden change ng uniform ko. I had to pull this off in order to join that club. Iyon nalang ang tangi kong pag-asa para naman magkaroon ng adventures ang buhay ko!
When we entered the Reagan Academy's premises, some eyes were set upon me for a mometary moment. Plausibly perplexed about me. Wait, I'm a nobody, remember? Their perplexity must mean something else.
Buti nalang walang mga bulungan — 'di tulad ng mga stories na nababasa ko sa Wattpad.
Someone from the crowd shouted, "Beja! Kailan ka pa nagka-boyfriend?!"
Maisie just rolled her eyes. Kahit nobody ako, kilala naman si Maisie sa school dahil nasa class A siya. May peks rin ako, hehe. Wait, ano raw? Boyfriend?
She parted ways with me after a brief, emotionless farewell. Dumiretso agad ako sa library. The librarian only looked at me for a short while, asking what the hell is wrong with me, through her stunning eyes. She must've recognized me.
Ngumiti ako at kumaway sa kanya. "Good morning po!" bati ko.
She just nodded and flashed a small smile. See? Wala silang paki-alam kung anumang gawin ko sa buhay ko! This is also what I love about Reagan Academy.
This is no place for chismoso't chismosa.
Nang masigurado kong wala nang tao sa paligid, I went to the corner where the secret door of the detectives' lair were situated. Tinulak ko 'yon pero hindi bumukas. It didn't open no matter how vehement my force is! Sandali, bakit ayaw?!
No! Don't tell me, imagination ko lang ang nangyari kahapon?! What if wala talagang secret door dito at hallucinations ko lang ang lahat? It was all surreal? Fudge, ang creepy!
Teka, baka naka-locked lang sa loob?
"Ginagawa mo?"
Halos mapatalon ako sa gulat nang makarinig ako ng pamilyar na boses mula sa gilid ko. I briskly removed my hands off the wall — that was supposed to be a door — and confronted the man.
"Cassien Agreste?"
Deja vu?
Ranpo looked at me from head to toe and cringed. "You're . . . lame. Wait, I know you've always been — but you're extra lame this time."
He must be referring to my new uniform and hairstyle.
"Hehe," wika ko at pinilit ngumiti kahit ininsulto pa ako. "Good morning sa 'yo."
"What are you doing here?"
"I'm gonna join your club," confident kong sagot.
"Didn't we already tell you — oh. You're such a clever idiot. Did you really suppose we'd let you in because you . . . cross-dressed?"
I had to admit that he's right. Sinuot ko ang uniform ng mga lalaki — well, wala naman pinagkaiba kung sa top ang pag-uusapan. Sa pantalon lang naman sila naiba. I also took a hard time making my hair short. Clip here, clip there, clip everywhere! — Wala kasi akong pambili ng wig. Pero ang cute ko naman, e. I looked like a skinny guy with a thick hair. Parang 'yung sa mga anime? HAHA!
"Yes," I responded and looked up at him. "Kung bawal ang mga babae sa club niyo, e 'di 'wag. From now on, I'm Mr. Cassien Agreste!"
Wala akong balak maging lesbian or something. I just want to be a man in their eyes para makasali ako.
"Pfft." He suppressed his laughter as he intently looked at my eyes. "You're also hilarious."
"Hilarious, but not giving up. Stupid, but not a complete ignorant," wika ko at ngumisi.
"Whatever, my decision is final. You can't join, Mr. Cassien Agreste."
"Your decision? Excuse me, I may not know you three pero alam kong hindi ikaw ang president. Just let me talk to Newt! And'yan ba siya sa loob—"
"He's the President while I'm the King."
Huh? King?
"Say whatever you want, pero hindi ako aalis dito hangga't hindi niyo 'ko papasalihin sa club niyo," I said, filled with conviction. Gan'yan ako kadesperadong lisanin ang boring kong buhay.
"All right, then." He smiled satirically and took his eyeglasses off. Humarap siya sa secret door at ipinasok ang handle ng kanyang salamin sa maliit na butas. Wait, handle ba tawag do'n? Basta, 'yung part ng specs na sinasabit sa tainga para hindi ito mahulog!
The secret door opened.
'Di nga? Seryoso? Susi 'yon?!
My mouth gaped as I watch Ranpo swing the rotating door open. Nang makapasok siya, susunod sana ako sa kanya sa loob pero tinulak niya ako papalabas at isinara na ang pinto.
For the second time, I bumped in the bookshelf across the door. Kung marunong lang sanang magsalita ang mga libro, malamang sinigawan na nila ako.
Kasalanan 'to ng Ranpo na 'yon, e! Walang galang sa mga babae — hold on a second, hindi na pala ako babae ngayon. I'm cross-dressing as a handsome guy!
Tch! I sat on the floor and stared blankly at the door. Siguro hihintayin ko na lang muna silang lumabas do'n. For sure naman, 'di sila nag-cu-cut ng classes, lalo na si Conan dahil galing siya sa class A. I still have a couple of minutes before the classes start.
"Cassien? Ginagawa mo rito?"
Halos mabuhayan ako ng loob nang marinig ko ang boses na 'yon. The man I've been expecting! I quickly got on my feet and smiled at him. "Good morning, Conan!"
"Good morning to you, too," bati niya at tiningnan din ako mula ulo hanggang paa. "Bakit . . ."
"Since ayaw niyong magpasali ng mga babae, I decided to be a man."
He chuckled. "I didn't see this coming. You're kind of stubborn, huh. But I guess, 'di pa rin 'yan uubra kay Ranpo. Matigas din ang ulo ng lalaking 'yon."
Bakit ba si Ranpo ang sinasabi niyo? Baka typo ng author? Baka mali siya ng nabanggit na tao?
"Ranpo? You mean, Newt, the president . . . right?" tanong ko naman at inaasahang makuha ang kanyang matamis na oo. Wah, para ang nanliligaw, a.
Nagulat ako nang umiling siya. He continued, "Si Ranpo ang magde-decide no'n para sa club. He's the King after all."
I heard the word King again. Ano ba'ng mayroon? Bakit—
"Maniwala ka sa 'kin, Cassien. Please, layuan mo na kami. Hindi sa ayaw namin sa 'yo, but we invite disaster. Believe us that rejecting your application is for the best." He tapped my shoulder and showed me his weak smile. Napakurap pa ako nang ilang sandali bago maproseso sa utak ko ang sinabi niya.
"I want disasters," my tongue slipped.
"Huh?"
Nang matauhan ako sa sinabi ko, agad akong bumawi. "No, no. Hindi sa masochistic ako pero mas gusgustuhin mayroon akong gagawin — kahit pa pumasok sa gulo — para kay Maisie at Ava kaysa panoorin lang sila at tumunganga!"
Silence momentarily clicked. Conan ascended his gaze, as if he was thinking about what I said. "Hmm . . . I sorta liked what you said. Ranpo gave me an assignment tonight. You can come with me and—"
"Talaga?!" Kulang nalang siguro ay maghugis puso ang mga mata ko dahil sa tuwa. Ang bilis naman magbago ng isip niya!
"Yes. Iyon ay kung makukumbinsi ko — I mean, natin — si Ranpo na isali ka."
Tumalon-talon ako sa tuwa at umikot-ikot pa. This is it! This is my chance! Dito na talaga magsisimula ang adventures ko!
"Hindi gan'yan umarte ang mga lalaki, Cassien," natatawa niyang wika kaya natigilan ako. "You're cross-dressing as a guy. Perhaps you should learn from me. Ako kayâ ang Master of disguise."
Master of what?!
"Help me convince Ranpo. And when we succeed, samahan mo 'ko sa investigation ko mamaya. Para kapag nadawit ako sa gulo, ikaw lang ang mahuhuli."
Teka, ano raw?!
"Hey, that's mean!"
"Biro lang — medyo. Tutal ikaw naman ang may gusto ng disasters kaya you can cover me up."
Napakasama naman nito. Pero ayos lang 'yon. We just have to make sure na hindi kami madadawit. Damn! I'm getting more wills to join this club! Especially when he said about his assignment that might cause a trouble? That's shucking exciting!
"First, we have to convince Ranpo," sabi ko at ipinag-krus ang mga braso. "Paano natin 'yon gagawin? At saka, bakit mo siya tinatawag na King?"
Biglang naging seryoso ang expression niya. "Kung matalino ako, mas matalino si Newt. He could be a Sherlock Holmes in our generation. The greatest fictioal detective ever lived. Pero tulad nang na-experience mo kahapon, Cassien — Ranpo was the most intelligent, genius, smartest, most clever, wittiest. He could be Mycroft Holmes."
"Microsoft Homes?"
"Mycroft Holmes. Kung 'di ka familiar sa kanya, he could solve a crime without leaving his armchair. Give him all the details and he'll give you an expert solution. He was the British Government. So we called Ranpo the King. They are alike."
British? Duh, nasa Pilipinas naman kami, why do they have to compare Ranpo to someone afar?
I felt afraid of him, somehow. Parang kaunting galaw ko lang, may mabasa na siya tungkol sa personality ko. That was terrifying but at the same time . . . absolutely awesome! I'd rather spend my time with them than deal with my monotonous life.
"How do we convince him then?" tanong ko.
"We have to propose—"
"Sorry, Conan. Pero wala pa akong balak ma-engaged or mag-asawa. Ayoko ring magka-anak 'tapos sa huli magkakahiwalay lang kami, then maghihirap sa financial hanggang sa wala nang makain at mamatay—"
"Whoa, ang advance mo mag-isip." Tumawa siya nang mahina. "Hindi sa gano'n. I knew him for years so we just have to prepare a bait."
"A bait? Paano natin siya mabibitag? What was his weakness?"
"Most kings have Queen. That's where we hit the weak spot. He has a Queen."
Hindi ako makapaniwala sa sinasabi niya. Queen? Wow, grade 11 palang kami pero ang aga na niya lumandi, ha! I don't know whether I'd burst out laughing or cry in disappointment.
"What? Ia-abduct ba natin 'yung babae? Hihingian ng ransom kunwari pero actually iba-blackmail lang si Ranpo? I want trouble and adventures pero 'wag naman sana darating sa puntong makukulong ako. No one will bail me!"
He winked at me. "Don't worry, I will."
"What?!"
"Kidding aside, what did you say? Abduct? Babae? No, you're not getting my point. His Queen is not a maiden, nor a living thing," he said and gripped his luxurious phone from his pocket. Iba talaga 'pag yayamanin. When kaya ako?
He showed me a photograph of a . . . chocolate? Are my eyes seeing the exact thing — a chocolate?
"What about it?" nagtataka kong tanong habang tinititigan ang mukhang imported na sweets. The more moment I stare at it, the more I crave for it. Though I know, I'll never be able to taste such delicacy!
"This is his Queen."
I let out a nervous laugh. "You're kidding, aren't you?"
"Do I look like I am?" he inquired and frowned.
My jaw dropped as I unbelievably gaze at his serious expression. Lady Fate, kung bibigyan mo po ako ng panaginip, 'wag naman sana 'yung ganito na parang masyadong totoo. I slapped my right cheek twice and realized I'm awake.
Eh?! He's most intelligent and his weakness is a chocolate?!
Nagulat kami nang biglang bumukas ang rotating door at sumilip si Ranpo mula sa loob. Nagpabalik-balik ang tingin niya sa aming dalawa until he looked at Conan's luxurious phone's screen.
"Did I hear anyone say chocolate?"
"Siguro," sagot ni Conan at ipinakita ang photographs sa phone niya. "Balak ko sanang bigyan ng chocolates si Cassien kasi ni-reject natin ang application niya, though she tried her best cross-dressing."
Reject? Hum! This must be part of the strategy! A very unbelievable, silly strategy for a great detective.
"You're giving her — what?"
"This is the least thing I could do to pay for her efforts. Naaawa kasi ako na baka—"
"All right. Let me propose something."
"Propose? Sorry, rejected ka na agad," sabi ko at ngumisi nang nakakaasar. Nang parang makikita kong magbabago siya ng isip, I quickly help up my hand. "Joke lang! Ano ba 'yang proposal mo?"
He sighed and open the rotating door completely, showing us his intact body. "Mr. Cassien Agreste will join us in exchange of chocolates."