Chapter 1
Every sacrifices and struggles is worth it. Every success is worth celebrating for. We won’t truly be happy if we won’t experience struggles in life. I can say that I already experienced the struggles I’m saying and I already overcome it. Now, all I wanted is to enjoy life and do everything I want to do, spoil myself and lastly love myself.
I sipped my drink while looking at the monitor of my laptop. I’m busy watching vlogs about tourist spots in Cebu. This past few days I’ve been busy searching about Cebu and looking forward to travel together with Ryan.
I don’t know what's with me. I’m new to this that’s why I agreed with his proposal. To meet him in Cebu then we’ll roam the City. Ang sa ‘kin kasi ay ang makilala siya sa personal at malamang seryoso ba talaga siya sa ‘kin. I want to enter in a relationship with a partner who’s thinking and seeing his future with me. I want a serious one.
I massaged the bridge of my nose as I waited for Ryan’s reply. I don’t know. As time passes by, he’s getting creepier and I don’t know him anymore or baka ako lang talaga ang nagbibigay ng meaning sa mga kakaibang kilos niya. Maybe he’s just overstressed with his work. He’s a CEO of one of the biggest company in Cebu. That’s what he said.
Ryan: Bebe, kailan u pupunta rito? Gus2 na kitang makita!
I smiled. I want to see him too.
Me: Don’t get to excited! Bukas ng gabi nandiyan na ako.
I giggled. I always feel butterflies when I’m talking to Ryan. He always give me unknown feeling pero nitong mga nakaraang araw parang nag iba talaga siya. The way he chatted and his words, nagiging bastos na ang pananalita niya. Isa pa naman sa pinaka ayaw ko ay ang bastos na lalaki. Respect is all I want.
I look at the glass behind. The weather’s nice huh. It’s gloomy today. I stood up and go to bathroom to look at my clothes. Today I’m wearing a hoodie crop pullover and maong high waisted pants. I wear three inches heels and tied my hair into ponytail. Balak ko kasing mag malling ngayon.
"Ranz where’s Mikay?" I ask one of my barista here at my coffee shop.
"Ah si Mikay po ba ma’am?"
"Ay hindi, si Makoy!" sarkastikong sabi ko.
Nanlaki ang mata niya at luminga linga. Minsan may pagka shunga rin ‘tong lalaking ‘to.
"Hala ma’am kaka-alis lang po ni Makoy..." Napakamot siya sa batok niya.
Agad uminit ang ulo ko pero ibinuntong hininga ko na lang ‘to. He’s stupid sometimes but I just always keep on calming myself para 'di maiwasan na mapasigaw.
"Ranz! Si Mikay ang hinahanap ko!"
"Ma’am tinanong po kita kanina tapos ang sagot mo si Makoy hinahanap mo,"
I just sighed. Napailing ako at bumungisngis. Ang cute niya. Mikay and Makoy are twins. I don’t know kung ba’t ganyan ang mga pangalan nila.
"Nevermind. Pakitawag na lang si Ate Annie."
He nod. Tumalikod na siya at hinanap si ate Annie. Ate Annie is my trusted manager here slash my sister. She’s the one who will handle my business when I’m gone and I trust her with this.
Naglakad ako papuntang counter at tinabihan si Leah, my cashier.
"M-ma’am..." Tarantang aniya.
I laughed. "Chill. Para ka namang nakakita ng multo!"
Napangiwi siya. "Kasi naman ma’am, nanggugulat ka bigla. Para kang kabute, sumusulpot kahit saan,"
"Ito naman! Para ‘di ka sanay sa ‘kin. Anyways I’m leaving Leyte tomorrow."
Her eyes widened. "Saan ka po pupunta?"
"Oh," I giggled. "Sa Cebu! Gosh I’m so excited!"
Ngumiti siya at tumango. Natigil lang kami dahil may customer na bumayad. I just smile to the girl and walk to the kitchen. There I saw my pretty manager.
Inilagay ko ang dalawang kamay sa bewang at inirapan siya. She is way older than me for ten years that’s why I have a big respect on her.
"Ay Maria! Andiyan ka pala!"
I glared at her. "Ate Anilencia kanina pa kita pinatawag, aba kumakain ka lang pala rito!"
Umirap siya. "Anong Anilencia? Mandiri ka nga Maria at tsaka bakit ba? Ano na namang kailangan mo?"
I laughed. Yes, nag-uusap kami na parang hindi niya ako amo kasi nga naman she has a fair share in this business. Partly parang siya na nga ang may ari nito dahil siya naman ang tumulong sa ‘kin para matayo ‘to kaso ayaw niya, sa akin daw ‘to kasi ako ang naghirap para rito. She just want to be a manager and not the real owner.
Iniisip ko nga na kung wala siguro siya ay hindi ko mararating ang mga narating ko ngayon. She is a blessing. A God given. An angel who saved me from my darkest days. Without her maybe I’m still in the street, nanglilimos o ‘di kaya’y nangangalakal. Ate Annie is the only family I have.
I pouted. "Ate kasi may ano... May gagawin ako sa Cebu, this is some kind of emergency that’s why ikaw muna ang owner ngayon ha?" I said and smiled sweetly at her.
She raised her eyebrows. "Anong emergency ‘yan?"
"Basta ate please!" I said and give her a puppy eye look.
Umismid siya. "Tigilan mo ako sa mukhang 'yan Maria, hindi kamo bagay sa 'yo. Oh siya lumayas ka na ay teka... Kailan ang flight mo?"
Ngumiti ako. Para ko na siyang nanay. She doesn’t want to be called nanay kasi pakiramdam daw niya ay matanda na siya so I decided to call her ate na lang. She’s still single at the age of thirty-four and she’s happy with her life. She comes from a wealthy family and living independently. Una niya akong nakita noong nanlimos ako malapit sa may simbahan. After that everything happened and she helped me that’s why I said she’s a God given.
"Bukas ng tanghali, via plane."
Tumango siya at lumapit sa ‘kin. She then hug me tightly like she will miss me so much.
"Mag iingat ka ro’n ha. Ikaw na bata ka umayos ka talaga! Mami-miss kita!"
I don’t know why did I became emotional. I just found myself crying in her arms.
"Nakakainis ka naman ate eh! Bukas pa ang flight ko tapos ‘di naman ako magtatagal dun pero mami-miss din kita. Stay safe and healthy always ate, love yah!" I kiss her cheeks.
I wipe my tears and fix myself. Nagpaalam na ako sa kanya na may bibilhan lang saglit sa mall. I’m planning to buy a polo for Ryan. I want to have a gift on him on our first meeting. I hop in into my not so expensive car. Ayoko kasing gumastos ng malaki sa isang sasakyan lang. I’m still saving for the future. Yes I’ve said that I’m financially stabled but I didn’t said that it's enough for me to live in next ten years.
I already arrived at the mall here in Leyte. To tell you honestly, province is still the best.
I walk to the entrance and smiled at the guard. Sumakay ako sa elevator at pinindot ang 5th floor. Sa ikalimang palapag kasi nakalagay ang mga damit. I took my cellphone from my hand bag while waiting to arrive at the exact floor. Mabuti na lang at wala akong kasabay ngayon. I open my account to see if Ryan is active. Fifteen minutes. I sighed, magkikita na naman kami bukas.
The elevator stop and the door open so I step out. Namili ako ng mga damit ko at damit na ipangreregalo ko kay Ryan.
After how so many hours of strolling, I’m already done. I look at my wristwatch to find out it’s already lunch time. Bumaba ako ng mall at naglakad sa may pinakamalapit na Mang Inasal. I ordered my food and started eating.
I wonder... Ano kaya ang madadatnan ko sa Cebu? I feel excited but at the same time I feel like I will get into trouble? I don’t know. I’m used to travel alone but I’m not used to any relationship, I’m not used with meet up thingy ‘cause I never been experience that sa tanang buhay ko. I am single for almost twenty five years now and never been into a relationship.
My life was full of bitterness the moment my parents left me. Walo kaming magkakapatid at pang lima ako. Sa hirap ng buhay, hindi na nila kaya kaming buhayin, pag aralin, pakainin. Nabuhay akong nakatatak sa isip ng mag aral ng mabuti para maiahon ang pamilya at ang sarili pero nagkusa na sila at sumuko sila. Iniwan kaming apat sa kahit saang lugar at dinala nila ang apat. I was fifteen that time. Kaawa-awa. Kailangan pa talagang magmaka-awa sa mga tao para mabigyan man lang kahit barya para pambili ng kanin at ulam.
Sa loob ng isang araw, isang beses lang akong nakakain. Kapag sinwerte ay aabot ng dalawang beses sa isang araw. Hindi ko naranasan dati ang makakain ng tatlong beses at ang makakain ng masasarap na pagkain. Puro daing, tuyo, sardinas at asin. Minsan tubig na lang para may laman man lang ang tiyan. Sa pamamagitan ng tubig, mabubusog na ako. Nakakatulugan ko na nga ang gutom dati. Palipat lipat pa ang tulugan, minsan sa park tapos minsan sa gilid ng tulay. Hinahabol pa minsan ng mga pulis.
Ang hirap. Naawa ako sa sitwasyon ko dati. Kaya gusto kong pasiyahin ang sarili ko ngayon dahil binigyan ako ng diyos ng pangalawang buhay para ayusin ang sarili ko.
If meeting Ryan means I’ll be happy then susundin ko ang nais ko. Pero ano kaya ang madadatnan ko pagdating ko ro’n? The question that always run in my head. The question that I can't answer. So if meeting him will be the way to answer my question, I will.