They said I’ve been blessed with a big family. Well that was true. But I was not blessed with a family of my own. A loving father and a caring mother. All I want is to have a family picture that I could display on my wall inside my room. Instead, I cut my father and mother’s figure and put it on the same frame where my picture was attached. 
Upon looking at the vans approaching the gate, I felt anxious. Halos hindi nga ako makatulog kagabi dahil sa pagdating ng mga kapatid ni Mama, kaya maaga akong ginising at tinulungan siyang mag ayos ng mga pagkain na lutuin para ngayon. 
“Are you okay, Zeney?” 
Halos mapatalon ako sa kinatatayuan ko dahil kay Lola. She’s wearing her satin dress. Malapit kami sa hagdan. Hindi ako makalabas dahil sobra akong kinakabahan. 
“Lola, nakakagulat ka naman po,” I said. Pasimple kong pinunasan ang pawis na namuo sa aking noo. 
Narinig kong tumawa si Lola sa aking tabi, “Aba, kinakabahan ka ba?” she asked, stating the obvious.  
Sinimangutan ko siya, “Medyo po,” mahinang tugon ko. Tinignan ko ang malaking salamin na bintana malapit sa double doors ng bahay. The gates are opening, I can already see my cousins in there. Nawala ang tingin ko doon nang maramdaman ko ang init ng kamay ni Lola sa aking balikat. 
“Don’t worry apo, I won’t let anyone hurt you again,” she said to make my heart at ease. 
Dahil sa sinabi ni Lola, nawala ng kaonti ang nararamdan kong takot. She held my hands as we approached the door. 
“Ate Benzene!” 
I smiled as soon as I saw Celia and Kila. They’re Mama Zusana’s children. “Kambal!” I waved my hand. Hindi pa man sila nakakababa ng sasakyan ay nakita ko na sila mula sa bintana. Ang sasakyan nila ang unang nakapasok. 
I waited for them to come down from the van. Tinulungan silang makababa ng kanilang magulang. “Ay be careful, Celia,” Tita Zusana said when the kid fell down because of clumsiness. His husband just laughed at her daughter. 
“Sorry Mama,” the little girl said and hurriedly went to me to give me a hug. Her twin follows. 
Sunod-sunod na rin dumating ang iba pa. Nakipag beso ako sa lahat ng Aunties and Uncles ko. They were surprised about my presence. Hindi naman kasi talaga ako pumupunta sa lahat ng okasyon na nagaganap dito sa malaking bahay. Napilit lang ako ni Mama na pumunta ngayon, which she alway do every year. And I think it’s time to reconcile or bond with my aunties and other cousins. 
“Shocks, you look a lot like Mamita, Ben,” Richie said. She’s Tita Zena’s only child. 
Nakapasok na pala kami sa bahay, the oldies are at the dining table while the children are in the living area. Halos kumpleto na ang lahat. Except for my father's family. I don’t know the reason yet why they’re not here. But Mama said that they will be here. 
“And you look like your Mother a lot,” I replied. Richie is my bestie cousin. Siya ang pinaka close ko sa lahat. Kahit sobrang ingay niya like her mom, she’s the most loyal and kind. 
Tumawa naman si Kuya Leo, the oldest among us all. Nakaupo siya sa sahig habang nakikipag laro sa dalawa pa namin na pinsan, Cyro, Ferrero. I think they’re playing cards. Ang kambal naman na sina Celia at Kila ay nasa Mommy nila. While Layla, Mama Zusaine's only daughter is upstairs, sleeping. 
“Yeah, pati yung pagiging maingay nakuha niya,” he said to tease our cousin. 
Ngumisi naman ako. Us being as cousins, were close to each other but we are not that type of cousins who often bond. Kapag may okasyon lang kami lumalabas at nakakapag bonding, often holidays like Christmas lang kami magkasama. But I know for sure that we love each other and our blood is thicker than our time in bonding.
“Benzene, I really like your hair,” 
May biglang humawak ng buhok ko mula sa aking likod. I pinched Kisses nose when I saw her standing behind the sofa that me and Richie are seated. She said ‘awe’. 
“Ano kinakain mo?” biglang tanong ni Rich. May hawak-hawak kasing tinidor si si Kisses.
Kinagatan muna ni Kiss ang palitaw na nakatusok sa tinidor niya, “Float,” she said. She jump from behind to seat beside me, umurong naman ako. 
“Ano?” iritang tanong ni Ferrero sa kan’ya. 
Alam kong hindi sasagutin ni Kiss ang tanong ng kapatid niya kaya ako na ang nag abala na sabihin kung ano iyon, “Palitaw.” Agad naman nagsitayuan ang mga pinsan kong lalaki upang kumain. Naiwan tuloy kaming tatlong babae na nasa sala. Rich was busy fidgeting her phone while looking at the ceiling. 
“Himala napadpad ka rito?”
Bumaling ang atensyon ko kay Kisses. Huling subo na niya ng palitaw. I leaned my back to the sofa to see her face more. She has a boyish aura. Mullet hair that suits her really well. Ang damit niya ay simpleng t-shirts at hort lang, and she’s wearing a black cap. 
Tinaasan ko siya ng kilay, “Bakit? Ayaw mo ba na nandito ako?”
Tumango ito. Mas lalong kumunot ang noo ko. She laughed at my reaction, “Joke. Ang boring kapag walang may anger issue dito sa mansyon,” she said. 
I poked her head. Narinig ko namang tumawa ng mahina si Rich. Mga walang hiya ito, minsan na nga lang kami magkita kita. “Okay lang. Ako naman ang paborito,” I said wickedly. 
They both groaned, “Argh, I want to say something. But it will offend you,” ani Kiss. 
“Yes, same,” natatawang sabi ni Rich. 
I tilt my head, thinking what could it be. Then my eyes widened when I realized what it was. I remembered when we were still young, as in very young. We often fight because of the stupidest things, and once I reported to Lola that they are picking a fight with me, they always said the statement that made me cry harder. 
“Eh, hindi ka naman love ng mga magulang mo,” that was their dark humor back then, and I think up until now. 
Noon nagtanim ako ng sama ng loob sa kanila. Their statement had given a big wound inside my heart. Akala ko nga noon ay hindi ko na sila mapapatawad. But, they did something that heals me. They were there when I had no one to call on. 
I jokingly put my face into a cold expression. Nakita ko ang mabilis na pag iba ng itsura ng dalawa. I almost laughed when I saw guilt in their expression.
“Uy, joke lang,” lumapit ng kaunti si Rich sa akin at hinawakan ang braso ko. Kunwari ko itong sinagi. “Uy!” I can hear the frustration in her voice. Doon na ako tumawa. “Pakshit ka malala,” at tinampal niya ang braso ko. 
I saw Kisses blowing air, and exhaling it. “Hayop ka talaga!” gigil nitong sabi at kunwari pang nilagay ang dalawang kamay sa akin leeg. 
“Aray!” natatawa kong sabi. 
They brutally pinched me and pulled my hair. Nangunot na ang noo ko. “Hayup! Aray sumusobra na kayo, ha!”I hissed. Mabilis silang tumigil. 
“Tama na, tama na. Baka mag sumbong ‘yan, mawalan pa tayo ng mana,” ani Rich na ikinatawa namin. 
After having fun in the sala, napagpasyahan namin na tumungo na ng lamesa para makihalubilo sa matatanda at kumain. Nang dumating kami ay agad kami ang pinagpiyestahan ng mga naroroon. Pero hindi ako ang nagisa at naging pulutan, kung hindi si Kuya Leo na tatapak na sa kolehiyo. We all had fun with each other's company. But our noise was silenced by a loud honk outside of our house. Natigil ako sa pagkuha ng inumin. 
“Oh! That must be Zekiel, let’s go people,” ani Tita Zeana. Well, My father and her are close. He is her favorite sibling after all. 
Tumayo ang mga magkapatid na Laurel, they guide Lola to go outside, too. But Mama saw me first and gave me a smile before following her siblings. 
O
Someone held my shoulders, it was Kiss, “We’re here,” she said. 
Nilingon ko ang iba kong pinsan. They were all smiling at me, saying that they will be here with me. Kahit ang maliit namin mga pinsan ay tinignan ako at binigyan ako ng isang ngiti. 
Nagpaalam muna ako sa mga pinsan ko na mauuna na muna akong pumunta sa itaas para mag bihis. I used the shower as my excused but it was half real dahil oras na para mag handa para simbang gabi. 
I went to shower and put on my clothes. It was just a plain blue dress that I got from my suitcase. Habang nagbibihis ako ay lumalakas ang kabog ng dibdib ko. Even if I'm inside the room, I can hear the laughs and noise downstairs. 
“Zene,” 
I almost jumped on my vanity chair when I heard my name. Paglingon ko sa pintuan ay halos lumuwa ang puso ko. 
“Pa,” wala sa sariling sambit ko. 
He is still the same. The last time I saw him, he's still the father that left me and abandoned me because he wants to complete somebody's family. The man that gave contributed sperm for me to evolve in this world. 
Ngumiti siya sa akin. That smile that I don't see every morning that I wake up, every night that I am about to sleep. But it's okay, I have nothing to do with it. I didn't smile back, but I did what I had to do. I stood up and went to him to give him respect as an old man but not a father. 
“Mano po,” I said as I grabbed his hand. 
“You look like your Lola, Zene,” he said after. 
Hindi ako makatingin sa kan’ya at kunwaring tumawa. “She's my grandmother after all,” I said. 
I heard him laugh a bit before raffling my hair. “Let's go downstairs, your siblings are there.” 
I nodded, still not looking at him. “Susunod na lang po ako.”