CHAPTER 1
The only thing that I’ve regretted on that day is that, I didn’t experience the joy of having my child in my arms. I didn’t see how they grow up. It’s on my grasp but I didn’t even have a chance to protect it.
As I open my eyes darkness surrounds me, it is so very silent and yet, it makes me wondered why I’m in peace?
“Aah! Is this the end of me?” I mumbled on myself. There’s no one here, besides me. I’m all alone.
“Is this the afterlife?” I questioned myself mockingly.
I remember what happened, my own loved ones betrayed me. I’m on that prison just a moment ago and then, I felt that I can’t breathe. I slowly closed my eyes until I lose my consciousness. When I opened my eyes, this is what entered my field of vision.
“I’m already dead, am i?” I asked myself knowingly what’s the answer. I smiled bitterly as I look around in this dark space.
My heart aches because of that thought. I just can’t seem to accept the reality. Tears flowing in my eyes and I let it be. I screamed all of my pain and curse those people who destroyed my life.
After that I felt refreshing to let my pain out. I wipe my tears off and take a deep breath.
“How I wish to embrace my child, if I’ll be able to see or hug my baby just for a minute, I’m willing to go anywhere even if it’s the afterlife or even the depths of hell, if I have a chance I will gladly take care of my baby. I will cherish every moments. I will love my child with all of my being. but they killed us. They didn’t let me see my own child. They snatch away our rights to live for their greed”.
Suddenly, I felt a cold wind that blows on my whole arm. As I turned around to see what’s happening. there’s a turbulence that’s coming towards me. I can’t fight off the strong wind. I didn’t know what to do, there’s nothing that I can hold onto.
I’ve been carried away by the turbulence, I keep spinning around that makes my stomach upset. I saw a glimpse at the end of it, what I saw is a light that gives me a warm feeling.
“Is this the end, am I really going to the afterlife or I’m on my way for my judgement”.
I can’t explain what I’m feeling right now since, my stomach began to ache then I felt the need to vomit. My vision gets blurry as I’m getting closer to the light so I decided to close my eyes because I know that this is the end but, there’s a little hope lingers in my heart that I can have another life that I won’t regret living. Regardless of the outcome of my punishment, I will never let anyone torment me again in the afterlife.
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I catch my breath as I opened my eyes. It seems I’m on a nightmare. I look around but there’s only a shadow of a girl in the corner. I can’t clearly see her. The only light that were shining is the moon and there’s only one open window that’s on my left side. I felt that she’s looking at me intently. Who is she? Is she planning to kill me? I’m very confused right now because I’m already dead. All I can remember is that I were spinning around because of the turbulence. I only saw a glimpse of the light since I’m feeling nausea and slowly losing my consciousness as I am nearing to the light I saw.
She opened the lights. I moved my head sideways and that’s where I’ve seen the different and unfamiliar antique furniture. The room has the shade of white and pink in vintage color. It’s too girly if I were to judge.
“Milady! You’re awake!” I heard a concerned voice coming from the girl in that corner.
When I heard what she calls me and the way how she’s dressed were adding to my troubled thoughts. She was wearing a long black dress that’s on below the knee length as well as a white apron. There’s a frilly headband, she’s wearing. She looks like one of the maids in some cartoons that I have watched. She has a black hair that were tied in a bun and she has a brown eyes that reminds me of the chocolate. On my estimation, she’s only on her 20’s or maybe lower than that.
“Milady! You’re finally awake! T..thank goodness” she rushed towards me that she nearly lose her balance. Luckily, she stood up right on time. As soon as she was near to me. She was seated as there is an arm chair beside me. She grab my hand to hold it tightly.
It seems I’m dreaming right now. Where am I? And why did she call me, milady? I’m very confused right now that I suddenly felt a pain in my head.
“W- who are you?” I stuttered, I’m nervous of what she will answer since, I don’t know whether I’m dreaming or not. I’m already dead. When I woke up, I found myself in the darkness and then, I was drift off to somewhere because of the turbulence that I have experienced a while ago. It’s been a hectic day for me, maybe if I will hurt myself, I’ll go back to that hell. I pinch myself on my wrist to the point that my skin were reddish because of that. I'm still wide awake so meaning, I'm not dreaming anymore. Is this not a dream? Is this the afterlife? Am I reincarnated?
I look at the girl beside me. She rubs her teary eyes and she let go of my hand. Sadness were written all over her face. i slowly get up to see the whole room. She was helping me getting up, she hold my back and hand as i rest myself on the headboard.
“Y-you can’t remember me, milady?” between her words is sobs. She keeps stuttering because she’s crying. Eventhough, i know she's trying her best not to cry.
I nodded at her in response. She suddenly, stand up and run towards the door to go out. Wait, did I do something wrong or am i giving her a wrong answer all along to make her run like that?
A few minutes later. There’s a big slam in the door and a group of four people were coming towards me including the maid that approached me earlier. It seems like I’m on a verge of dying because they act like I have a little time in this world. They were panicking and I can see that.
A lady comes towards me and sit on the bed beside my waist while a man were seated on the chair were that maid was seated a while ago and the maid were standing up together a man.
“Do you know me?” the lady beside me ask that question
“No, none of you here. I don’t know who you are or where I am?” I answered them, honestly. It’s my thoughts since, the beginning.
The lady beside me starts crying. Tears were flowing in her hazel eyes. She has a long silver hair that’s on a waist length. She wears a grandiose dress that I’ve ever seen. Some frilly light color, pink, peaches, and white on that dress. It’s a vintage dress. No! not a dress, but a gown. Where am i? Am I in the 19th century or something?
My mind keep throbbing when I keep thinking too much. I touch my forehead and feel a bandage to it. What? I’m injured? It keeps hurting me. I don’t know why. Maybe? This body were come from an accident.
Are you okay, milady?” the guy who was wearing a white robe that’s standing beside the maid earlier walks towards me, to the other side of the bed. He was wearing a stethoscope.
I guess he’s a doctor? What should I call him? I’m not in the modern world anymore, I can’t call him that.
“Umm, my head starts throbbing when I think too much and right now, it’s hurt” I answered politely so that he can prescribe me a pain killers. I can’t take something hurtful like this, I felt like crying but there’s a lot of people in here watching me so nervousness covered my whole mind that I can’t shed a tears. I’m afraid of making some mistake. I’m in an unknown place so, it’s better to be careful. If one wrong move or answer I might be dead again.
Can I have a moment alone with milady?” he gazed towards the people in that room. They look at each other as if, they were hesitating whether they will leave me or not.
“ I need to talk to milady, after that, you can get in” he politely said to them.
“t-then, please take care of her a-and tell me firsthand, about her condition” the lady beside me has a worried face. She hold my hand tightly and smiled at me bitterly.
“if you have something you need, I’ll be waiting outside” she looks at the man wearing a white rob. He just response with a nod and slightly bowed to her. The lady let go of my hand and stand up.
The people in there don’t have a choice but to go out. The maid escort the lady and a man in going out. But before the door close, the man looks at me like he won a jackpot. That gaze, I felt uneasy.
“Is it okay to ask questions, milady?” the man who's here asked. I nodded in response and turned back my gazed to him.
“And please don’t force yourself to answer my questions. It might harm your health” his tone was comforting. I smiled slightly at his response.
He grab a small notebook and a pen in his pocket. He was writing something, I didn’t know what that is because I can't see it obviously.
“Do you remember what happened to you, milady?”
Yes, I know what happened to me. There’s no way I can forget how my loved ones treat me. But, I can’t say that out loud.
“No, I don’t remember” I answered. I will pretend that I have amnesia. Since, I’m injured and it’s on head too so, it’s a perfect alibi for someone like me who’s unsure of this place.
The guy sighed. He seems don’t know what to do.
“then, do you remember your past?"
I shake my head sideways as a response. He sigh in dismayed.
“Do you know the people who left, earlier?”
“No, who are they?” I saw a sad look on his eyes. He seems to be worried at me due to the tone of his voice.
“They are your parents”
I am shock to hear that. “I don’t know them”
“You’re the lady in this house. Someone brought you here. She told us that you were living with her for a while now. She saw you under the cliff. Your white dress were torn to pieces, your head is injured as well as--” he paused for a moment and look at me. He's hesitating whether he will say it or not but i think in the end he didn't say it.
“I didn’t know what happened to you, milady” his tear suddenly flowed on his right cheek. He is really concerned about me. But, what is he talking about? I'm very confused right now that I can't process what he have said to me. I've been asking myself where is this and who are these people who comes in and out of this room. I feel strange by this mixed emotions.
"A month ago, you were kidnapped. You were gone at the ball. We were looking at you. We lose hope but one day, someone was here. She brought you here unscathed. But what she said to us was very heartbreaking, milady"
“w-what are you talking about?”
“Your name is Chantria Alena Marcox. The only lady in the Marcox family”
“w-what? M-marcox?”
My heart beats so fast hearing that surname. It is very familiar to me.
“does that ring a bell, milady?”
“y-yes, t-that sounds f-familiar” I stuttered because that name is really familiar to me. I think I’ve heard that somewhere before.
“do you remember something or has any familiarity besides your name?"
“n-no, I don't remember but if you tell me more. I guessed I will find something that could trigger my memory" it may be sound as a joke but, the names that he mentioned is really familiar to me. I want to remember where, when and how is it.
“would you like me to keep going?”
“y-yes, please”
The doctor chuckled and his eyes sparked. “I thought that there's no hope in regaining your memories, milady. Oh! I remember that I haven’t introduced myself. I’m Oliver Ynello, the personal physician of the Marcox family. I have taken care the duchess health and of course, you milady”
“t-that’s also, familiar to me” I honestly responded my feelings.
He seems to be shocked of my response since his jaw dropped. He clears his throat and massage his temples. He walks towards to my right side to sit on the armchair. He told me that he will be seated there since, we have something to talk.
“Let's talk about your family and the people around you, milady. I think it will help you remembering those who were closed to you” I nodded in response.
“The lady who were sitting beside you, the one who have a silver hair is your own mother, the duchess. She is Fleur Louiella Marcox and the man who were seated here on my position is your, stepfather. His name is Walker Yatt. The maid who attended your personal things, that one who has here earlier is Scarlet"
"where’s my father? And, why is it my mother bears the same surname? They didn’t get married?” I asked that because I'm wondering what happened to my legal parents whether they got divorced or some misunderstanding, he neglect us and so on. I'm quite surprised that my mother didn't marry my step father since, he was here. I believed he also live here.
“yes. The two of them never got married. Your grandfather opposed the two. When your father died, the Duchess was lonely. She was looking a father figure for you because she thought that's what the best for you. Until, Lord Yatt came into the picture. He won the duchess heart. But, for some reason, the lady didn’t want to get married again, even if it’s there’s a blessing to her father. She refused to do it”
“why is that?”
“I don’t know. I know what happened, your mother knows the reason why”
There’s a silence in the air. The air is cold. Those things that he mentioned, it really feels familiar. I really think that I’ve heard that somewhere I just can’t remember where is it.
“This is the Pañuela country. This country was ruled by the Saxson Family. The current crown prince is Lowell Fox Saxson”
I slowly turned my head towards the physician. My heart thumping so fast that I could hardly breathe.
“w-who was the crown prince?”
“His highness Lowell Fox Saxson. He will be the next in throne according to the emperor. In such a young age, people considered him as genius because he had many achievements he gained. He’s been excel in many fields such as swordmanship, politics and oh! He’s a handsome man too”
When I heard the crown prince name. My mind suddenly keeps feeding me off the information that i needed. I had read that name in one of the characters of the novel I read in the past.
"My name.. what is it?"
"Chantria Alena Marcox, the only heir in the Marcox Family"
I felt a bomb crushed my whole body. I'm the last villain that will be eliminated by the two protagonist. In my previous life, i don't have a happy ending. In this life too?
How very cruel and unfair that this God has been treating me. Do i don't deserve to be happy? I suddenly shut my mouth when, i remembered that this time around, I'm pregnant by the crown prince child.
I’ve felt that this isn’t a reality. This is just a dream. A book that once I read during my high school days. A book that was one of my favorite. A book that I look forward reading. This is where I am right now. I stand up and goes to the mirror hurriedly. I saw a glimpse of the physician shock face for what I’m doing. I ignored it, his shock face is not important at all. What’s important is, I can see myself to see the truth.
I slowly walks towards the dresser table while watching the floor. Now, I'm in front of the mirror, i took a couple of breath before looking up. I saw myself. I'm speechless, this girl is beautiful just what I’ve imagined. A beautiful silver wavy hair like the moon. A green eyes like the cat’s eye and a pale skin as white as snow. I can’t believe that I’m in the novel that I loved. It was one of my collections. The author is unknown but I admired her story. He or she didn’t reveal to the public, always refusing the book signing events and it doesn't even have social media accounts. Just what the heck is happening right now?
My mind is a mess. I lost my words. There’s a pain that’s kicking down on my head. I ignored it and processed all the things that were happening to me. If I were to sleep today, maybe just maybe, this is all a dream. I need to wake up.
“milady? Are you okay?”
I didn’t noticed the physician was already beside me. I am focused on watching my reflection. It didn’t sink in my head that I am one of the characters in “Love me, prince”. I’m only a stepping stone for the protagonist. I’m a hindrance to their love life, in other words, I'm the villain. Then, does that mean I can’t live peacefully?
w-whats the date today?”
“its already 31st of december, milady”
I was shock. I can’t contain my happiness. Then, does that mean I’m pregnant. My baby is with me. My tears flowed down, i hold the edge of the table in order for me not to lose my balance. I am thankful for this chance. If this is a dream then, I don’t want to wake up. I was pregnant when I died and when, I revived in this world I’m pregnant.
I slowly lose my consciousness before dropping to the floor. My head hurts but what is unexpected, is my heart is at ease. Before drifting away, I hear voices.
“milady!” the doctor shouted and those who were present outside entered the room without the physician consent.
“What happened to her? Hurry put her to the bed” lady fleur hurriedly came over to her daughter who was now, unconscious.
The physician, sir Oliver carried her and put her to the bed carefully. After putting down Chantria. He gazed at her with a worried look. He thought that he may have forced himself the lady to remember something she can't. He only wants to confirm something.
“we need to talk” the physician faced the Duchess who were currently approaching Chantria.
“its about her condition?”
Sir oliver nodded. He was about to go out when he forgot something to say.
"Your grace, this might be impolite to the others but may I request that we need to discuss something privately"
“Am I not allowed to take part in that? She’s my daughter”
Sir oliver didn’t mind the man speaking to his side instead, he was waiting for the response of the duchess in the manour, the true ruler. He heard the man clicks his tongue in annoyance.
“yes, but it’s okay to bring Scarlet to us too? She’s one of the closest attendants of my daughter so, she must know what’s her condition. In case, there might emergency that will happened to her”
Sir Oliver just nodded because he knows that the lady, treat Scarlet as her own sister. He take a step when Walker suddenly talk.
"How come the maid can go but I can't?" Walker reacts to that. He felt that their discussion is something that he needed to obtained or might be helpful for him.
"May I remind you that, your not officially a part of this household" Sir oliver answered calmly.
"Then, what's your position to say that?"
"I am a trustworthy companion of the Duchess. I saw how Lady Chantria grows. I, take care of their health. I didn't do something behind their back" Sir Oliver gazed at him fiercely.
"And now, you want to come with us. Why? Did you ever do something that makes you a father to Lady Chantria?"
"How dare you talk to me that way!"
"Stop that. Let's go" the duchess step in
"If you'll excuse me, sir"
They walked out to the room. Only, the step father, walker yatt who was dumbfounded left in the room. In his mind, there will be a time that, he will get his revenged to Sir Oliver from talking back as well as shut his mouth. He glared at Chantria who was now sleeping peacefully. He laughed happily while examining her condition.
“You deserve that” he turned around while smiling from ear to ear and goes out.