Darkness, all I see is darkness. I tried to focus and heard a faint sound. It sounds so far but slowly, it's getting closer. I can hear the noise getting louder with every minute passing by.
"Miss Gonzales," I heard faint soft voices.
My eyes… it feels heavy. What’s that? What are those loud beeping sounds and that’s some footsteps trying to awaken my consciousness, right? I can barely feel my body and my head feels like it's floating in the air.
"Miss Gonzales." Again, I heard them calling an unfamiliar name.
It took a while before I finally managed to open my eyes. I roam my eyes around trying to familiarize myself with the place I'm in… I'm in a white small room with monitors, ventilators, and oxygen masks in my nose and mouth. I must be in a hospital, I tried to adjust my blurry vision and blinked my eyes multiple times trying to improve my vision. I saw two human figures standing beside me wearing a white uniform with a tray of medicine in their hands.
"Call the doctor," the petite fair-skinned woman who I assumed a nurse beside me commanded the other curly-haired male nurse standing by the door.
How did I end up here? I tried to remember what exactly happened when a flash of whitebeam blinded me. I felt my heart throbbing loud and fast as I gasp for air when I remembered everything. I-I'm alive? Did I survive? My memory of that night is crystal clear.
"I'm Khryss Zhandee Mocoy. Your attending doctor, you can call me Dra. KZ, Miss Gonzales," a lady-in-white said, and I presume she is the doctor they were talking about earlier.
I fixed my gaze on her hands, which were motionless. It took her a bit to realize that I had no intention of accepting her hand. She's slow for a doctor, tsk. She faked a cough and sweetly smiled at me.
"I'm glad you finally woke up. You've been in a coma for two months," She continued looking into my chart, "so, Miss Gonzales I need you to follow this pen just with your eyes, okay?"
As an answer, I nodded. She moved her pen horizontally, and I did what she instructed.
"So, tell me, how are you feeling Miss Gonzales?" she spoke as she jots down some notes on her mini notebook.
"I'm okay... wait, what did you call me again?" I interrupted her in confusion
Doctor KZ's brow furrowed as she stared at me, puzzled, then returned her gaze to her record book. Wait, did Mom show up? I looked around the room frantically. What happened to Mom? Where is Dad? Inilibot ko ang paningin ko one more time but I see no signs of them. I sighed in disappointment.
"Where is everyone? What happened to Dad? Is Mom finally coming to see you? Please tell me, "I kept begging, hoping for an answer from her.
She remained silent and stared at me for a few moments while I waited for her to respond. What is going on?
"Can you tell me if you remember what happened to you?" She responded slowly and softly, her gaze fixed on me.
Yes. I had an accident. I'm not sure why she's asking, but I'll answer anyway since I need to hear her responses as well.
"I had an accident," I replied confidently. My heart racing as the night almost died looms me. “I was driving and almost struck something, and the next thing I knew, I was in a wreck, and why do you keep calling me Gonzales?"
She nodded her head before holding my hand tightly. Why is she acting all touchy now?
"I suspect you might have post-traumatic amnesia Miss Gonzales but we will be conducting more tests like MRI and CT scans just to be sure, " she said in an assuming way.
Amnesia? Is she crazy? Or am I just in a freaking reality show? Oh God, this couldn't be serious! I was lost in words and all I can think of is she's definitely not qualified to be a doctor! She is crazy!
"What?! Did you just say amnesia? With all due respect Doctor KZ but I think you got the wrong person. My name is Elena, Elena Perez. So, what are these absurdities you are spouting?" I asked her with conviction despite the confusion.
"You may have sustained a brain injury during the incident, Miss Gonzales. It's not uncommon considering the injury which led you to be in a coma for two months but rest assured that I will help you regain your memory," Doctor KZ explained patiently.
She gripped my hand strongly and smiled reassuringly. She refers to me as Gonzales, but I am not the Gonzales she is talking about. I'm aware of who I am! I am Elena! Elena Perez! Gonzales, whoever she is and this doctor, is not to be trusted!
"Don't worry, Miss Gonzales. I will help you in retrieving your memories and living a normal life," she responded gently.
I'm not sure what she's talking about, but why does she keep calling me Gonzales? What memories is she referring to? I'm aware of who I am! My memories are still intact! I don't need her to assist me in retrieving my memories! I need her to call her father!
"I will be making regular visits Miss Gonzales," she stated while opening the door to go out of my hospital room.
I remained silent. I'm literally stuck wondering why they keep calling me Gonzales. I have no relative from the Gonzales. Who is Gonzales?
"Where's my dad, nurse?" I asked the nurse who was left with me inside the room.
I was hoping to see mom. I was hoping she'd turn up and tell me this was all a big misunderstanding. I was hoping deep down that she'd hear the news and come to see me. After being in a coma for two months, I wanted to believe there was a chance she'd come back. I'm still her daughter, and every mother worry, right?
"No one has visited you since you were hospitalized Miss except for your best friend, Yummie, she used to come regularly to check on you. And according to your records, you live alone," he answered simply.
What? This is complete nonsense. What the hell is happening here? All these unfamiliar names. My eyes shifted on my thin as a stick arms, I look so pale like a ghost. I tried moving but my body was too heavy and weak. I need to know what is happening here. Are they mistaking me for someone else?
"Excuse me but I need to go to the comfort room, nurse," I told the nurse politely.
The nurse assisted me towards the comfort room. I leaned against the door and as I entered the restroom, I began to evaluate my current situation. I woke with my memories intact, but the doctor believes I have amnesia. In agitation, I stroked my temple. I only just awakened, but it feels like I've been up for an eternity. A large rectangular mirror drew my attention. I shut the door and stared blankly in the mirror. When I recognized what was in the mirror, my eyes widened in shock.
Oval face, small narrow nose, thin pale lips, straight long brown hair, and dark brown eyes; a face unfamiliar to me. Fear gripped me and I screamed at the top of my lungs. My head is still processing in a daze. I could feel hot liquids flowing down my cheeks.
"Miss, are you okay?! Is something wrong? Please open the door!" The nurse asked me in a very worried tone pounding the door.
"Y-yes. I'm alright. Don't mind me. I was just... surprised." I muttered the last word to myself. This can't be happening! Who is this girl I'm seeing in the mirror? This is me? Is this Gonzales?
My mind was racing as I returned to my bed. I couldn't sleep last night. I can't quit thinking about it. What the hell is going on with me?! Why am I completely different? What have they done to me? This is not me, I mean the real me! I mean yeah, I am me but this body since when did I— My thoughts were disrupted when someone knocked on the door.
"Come in," I answered in a demanding tone. As expected, it's the doctor from yesterday.
"May," she smiled sweetly at me and I arched an eyebrow at her. "Let's start the diagnosis," she continued. Who is she calling May?
"I'm Elena. Elena Perez," I sternly answered.
She sighed and directly looked at my eyes. Her brownish eyes were full of compassion and sadness as she stared at me. She’s more of an actress than a doctor. She can definitely win an Oscar award.
"Look May, I know it's hard for you and all. But please understand that I am trying to help you. Let me help you," she replied to me.
I let out an exasperated sigh. I don't understand what she wants to help me with. There’s only one plausible reason she’s doing this… to brainwash me during my confusion.
"Doctor KZ, if you truly want to help and support me, start by telling me the truth. My memory is absolutely superb. I recall everything, including the accident, so I don't need you to assist me in regaining my memory because I remember everything." In a gentle tone, I explained to her
"I understand your confusion, but this Elena Perez is not who you believe she is, so let's take things slowly—"
In irritation, I accidentally scraped my index finger, which became numb as it bled. No, they don't get it. This doctor may be duping me into accepting her lies. The person who did all this is definitely meticulous, their plan is almost flawless. I would almost believe it but they can’t fool Elena Perez.
"May-" I cut her off by asking her to leave.
She let out a heavy sigh before complying with my order. If she really wanted to help me then she should start by calling Dad since she doesn't even know how to listen. I don't want to hear any of her nonsense. I want to see Luke. Where are Mom and Dad? I let out a deep sigh. I have too many questions. Napahawak ako sa ulo ko. Urgh. It's starting to hurt. This phenomenon is giving me a headache. Someone knocked again and entered my room, interrupting my thoughts once more. Why do so many people knock on my door and enter my room first thing in the morning?!
"Miss Gonzales," she started speaking while looking at her record book but I cut her off. Who the hell are they calling Gonzales?!
No! I won't give in to their brainwashing! This might be some kind of mistake. I know who I am!
"Get out!" I angrily shouted. She hesitantly stared at me.
"But Miss—" I glared at her once again.
"I said get out!" Nakita ko ang pagkagulat sa kanyang mga mata.
"B-But—"
"Which of my points do you find difficult to grasp??!" I scoffed at her as she rushed out of my room in a panic.
In frustration, I yanked on my hair. What the hell is going on?! Is there no sane person remaining in this place?! Is this some freak hospital?! I gazed out the window opposite my bed. I found myself in deep thought about everything. Like how did this happen to me? I saw a pair of couples sitting at the bench outside my window, the old man was patting the old woman's head as he warmly smiled ear to ear. Luke. I miss you. Where are you? Why are you not visiting me? I suddenly felt hot liquid flowing down my cheeks. Have you given up on me too? No, what am I doing? I lightly slapped my face forcing myself to regain control of my emotions. I can't let this situation control me; I closed my eyes to calm myself down.
A familiar scent suddenly caught my attention; that manly cologne I am very familiar with, is it—Luke? I opened my eyes and saw someone standing by the door— that posture, I know it's Luke! What is he doing? Why is he walking away? Why is he not turning back to me?!
"Luke!" I shouted.
He's walking away... further. No! Luke! Come back! He's fading away— slowly... I jump out of my bed and run as fast as I could to chase after him. Don't! Why are you leaving me too? Don't leave me, please. I desperately chased after him and when I was finally a centimeter away from his hands, someone grabbed my right hand.
"May," a deep horrifying voice sent a shiver to my bones
It's Doctor KZ! No! No! Stay away! I opened my mouth to speak but no words would come out. Luke! Help me! I was struggling to escape from the grasp of the doctor as she held my hand too tight. I looked at her and begged her to let go but she just gave me an evil chuckle.
"You will never escape May," she proclaimed in a very terrifying low tone.
Biglang nagbago ang kanyang anyo. The sweet smile she had turned to a horrifying grin and her soft eyes turned to eyes filled with void. No! Stay away! I wanted to scream but I can't find my voice. My body feels heavy.
"May!"
I awoke unexpectedly. Panting and perspiring. A dream... It had all been a nightmare. I looked around and didn't realize I'd fallen asleep. It's already getting dark. I need to get out of here. I'm not safe in this place. This medical facility... That's insane! These folks are nuts! I'm going to have to flee! I've got to get out of here!
I looked at my left hand. I slowly pulled out the needle on my skin and felt a sharp pain. I wrapped the medical towel around my hands. Even though I felt really weak, I rose up and began heading towards the door, out of the room. If I stay here for too long, I'll go insane. I'm not sure what they did to me or my body, but I'm going home... I'm going to get out of this psychotic prison.