(Prologue)
I stared at him for so long. From his hair, eyes, nose, cheeks and lips. All of those were seamless like he was purposely created to represent the word perfect. I like the way he present himself infront of the people. He always smile. The kind of smile that always made my cheeks felt heated. He also had this appeal that makes girls go insane.
I pressed my lips together to supress a laugh. Pangatlong babae na ang lumapit sa kaniya ngayon, at 'gaya noong mga nauna, tinaboy niya lang ang mga ito. But as expected from him, he pushed those girls away in a gentle way. Mabait. Akala mo santo.
"Hey Amariah,"
I came back to my senses when Leila snapped her fingers infront of me.
"B-Bakit?" I asked, sounding a little bit nervous.
Mausisa ang dalawa kong kasama. Siguradong kapag nalaman nila na may minamataan akong lalaki ay tiyak na magkakagulo ang mga ito. Lalo pa't ang alam ng mga ito ay puro trabaho lang ang nasa isip at inaatupag ko.
"Nakikinig ka ba sa'min?" Sandy asked while her forehead was slightly creased.
I gulped. I forced myself to let out a feeble smile while nodding.
I bit my bottom lip when Leila diverted her gaze to where I'm looking at earlier.
Her brows went up as she turned her eyes on me again. "Do you know him?"
I suddenly felt a lump on my throat.
"H'wag mong sabihing naaakit kana rin sa med student kagaya nitong si Leila?" Puna naman ni Sandy. Hindi ko ito pinansin at binaba ang tingin sa pagkain. "He's hot, right?" She retorted, giggling.
I didn't answer her. I busied myself eating my food.
"Sabi ko sa inyo, e. Magandang ideya na dito tayo kumain." Nangingiting saad ni Leila.
Pumangalumbaba naman si Sandy habang nakatanaw sa pwesto ni Wilhem. She looked at him with her dreamy eyes. Napasimangot ako ng patago dahil do'n.
"Ano kayang pangalan niya? Add ko sa facebook, follow ko narin sa IG o sa twitter." Sambit ni Sandy habang nakalapat sa labi ang tangan nitong kutsara.
Disgust suddenly rushed through Leila's face after she heard what Sandy said. Inangat niya ang kamay at bahagyang pinukpok ng kutsara ang ulo ng kaibigan.
"Isusumbong kita sa boyfriend mo." Leila said jokingly to Sandy.
Naiiling nalang ako habang nakangiti dahil sa dalawang kasama ko.
I fought the urge to look at him again. But I failed to do so. I always ended up peeking on his direction. I just stopped when I heard Leila and Sandy faking a cough and staring at me with their malicious eyes.
Nang matapos kumain ay agad na akong nagyaya na bumalik sa opisina. Napasimangot si Leila dahil do'n, mababakas ang pagtutol sa mukha nito pero sa huli ay wala naring nagawa kundi tumayo at sumunod sa amin ni Sandy.
Bahagya akong napatigil sa paghakbang nang matanaw na nagsitayuan narin ang grupo nina Wilhem. Iisang direksyon ang tinatahak namin. Mabagal ang usad ng ibang tao sa una dahilan para maglapit ang distansya naming dalawa. Bagama't nasa unahan ko siya at may isang lalaki ang pumapagitan sa amin, naaamoy ko parin ang halimuyak ng pabango nito. And that's remind me of how much I missed him.
I wanted to scoot and cuddle next to him again. I badly wanted to hold his hand again. I wanted to laugh with him like we used to do before.
Pero limang taon na ang nakalipas. At alam kong hindi na kami makababalik sa kung ano kami dati. I will just make things more complicated if I get closer to him again.
Napaatras ako pabalik ng mahulog ang ballpen na nakakabit sa polo niya nang may bumangga sa gilid niya. He was busy talking to the boy who accidentally bumped him and didn't even notice his ballpen dropped on the floor. Gumulong iyon papalapit sa kinatatayuan ko hanggang sa bumunggo iyon sa dulo ng sapatos ko dahilan ng paghinto nito.
"Uy, ballpen ni doc nahulog." Leila whispered on my back, playfully hitting me with her elbow. "Pulutin mo tapos iabot mo sa kaniya."
I blinked twice as I stare down on his ballpen.
No. Big no.
"Ano ba 'yan, Amariah. Mukhang mamahalin 'yung ballpen ni doc saka nasa harap mo na oh." Saad naman ni Sandy.
I heard their giggles on my back, probably teasing me. I turned my face at them and shook my head. "Kayo na lang."
Their eyebrow arched while staring at me intently. Ang mga tingin nilang dalawa ay nagpapahiwatig na parang napakasama kong tao.
I heard people's grunt on our back probably because we're blocking the way.
I sighed. I have no choice but to get his ballpen and hand it back to him.
But when I was about to get it, someone already got it. Ito 'yung babaeng kasama nina Wilhem kanina. 'Yung babaeng kanina ko pang kinaiinisan dahil panay ang dikit nito sa binata.
Mula sa ballpen na tangan na ng kamay niya ngayon ay lumipat ang tingin ko sa mukha niya. She smiled at me when our eyes met.
Hindi ko alam kung gagantihan ko ba ang ngiti niya o ano. Wala akong ibang nagawa kundi ang tingnan siya.
"Hey, let's go."
I felt stiffened when I heard his baritone voice. My gaze diverted at the back of the girl infront of me. From there, I saw him.
My chest tightened when he accidentally looked at me. I felt something building up in my stomach. My heart was pounding so fast.
Five years had passed, and yet he still made me feel this way. He still brought this warmth feeling to me.
But somehow, it pained me by just looking on his eyes. My body suddenly felt weak. My knees are shaking and my fingers are trembling.
Slowly, I lowered down my gaze, only to found his hand holding the girl's arms.
My lips slightly parted. I felt the tears building up on the side of my eyes.
"You dropped this." The girl said, handing the ballpen to him. "Regalo ko 'to sayo tapos hindi mo man lang iniingatan." May himig ng pagtatampo sa boses ng babae.
"At least naibalik mo sa 'kin." He joked that made the girl slightly annoyed.
He used to be like that to me before. And now, he does it with someone else.
Muling bumalik ang tingin ko sa mukha niya. And this time, our eyes met. I felt my heavy breathing as I stare directly into his eyes.
"Do you know her?" The girl asked him after a seconds of our eye contact.
He shrugged his shoulders. "No. I don't think so."
That created a bang in my chest that I couldn't handle.
Of coarse he doesn't know me. How silly I am to think that after all the shits that happened five years ago, he would still reacognize me.
He doesn't know me. I should be glad and relieve. But why do I feel this way? It fucking hurts...