MARGA'S coming back again in his life like a relative from abroad who decided to return after several years of staying there. She treated my friend like a pet that she can easily get once she returned. I can't say sorry for her because I know that Shan's still into her despite the pain she caused on him. She should be thankful, and I should be the one to feel sorry for myself. Because I'm still just a friend…
I wonder where do people get the guts to hurt their lover. Because in my case, that must be so difficult. I can't hurt someone I truly love the most and can't even afford to exchange him for passion. Because if what you feel for him is true, then there's no need for you to chose between two things. I know it's hard, but if you really love him, then you're not going to hurt him.
How can she hurt Shan just like that? He loves Marga the most, and he's even willing to give his everything. Time, attention, love— it was all for her. But she wasted Shan's beautiful plans for her. Marga chose to chase her passion as she left him behind with a broken heart.
If I were Marga I will never do that to someone who wants nothing but all the best for me. Shan will be so much loved in my side. I will shower him all the attention he deserves to have. Know I can give him my genuine care. He will never be hurt in my zone. Because I'm going to make sure that he is loved every second of his life.
“I want to talk to her but everything's not the same now. Just look how quick everything changed,” Shan muttered, staring at the murals. “Once upon a time, she vanished in thin air. Then after a blink of an eye, she has returned.”
“We can't predict the future, Shan. Other things are meant to happen to teach us a lesson.”
“Then the day she said good night is the most painful lesson in my life. I learned from that happening that no matter how you love the person, at the end of the day they will still going to leave you like it's easy.”
I hate to hear the pain in his voice. Girls are mostly the first to become emotional, but in his case, Shan was the affected one. He didn't cheat, nor he betrayed his ex-girlfriend. When a guy cries for a girl, that explains his love for you. Because most of the time it was always the girl who cried after the break-up.
“Not all people are like that. There will still some who chose to stay, no matter how painful it was for them to do that. All they know is that they love the person, and they can't afford to lose them, though it was never been their property,” I argued.
I want Shan to know that not all the girls are the same. I'm the one who stick around, while Marga was the bitch type.
I hope he sensed it that I was referring to me. I still chose to love Shan, regardless of the fact that he is not mine. I should have replaced him in my heart, but I didn't. It wasn't that easy to let my feelings go, that's why I decided to stay, no matter how painful it is. How come he didn't notice my interest on him? I'm obvious as hell, and how blind he is to not see it.
“But some aren't supposed to stay,” he said in a melancholic voice. Maybe he's just hurt to the max, that's why he reached to the point of saying that.
How about me? I swear to stay on your side. I will never be gone.
“Because those people are not the one for you. You deserve someone better, Shan. She is not the only girl in the world.”
Please notice my presence. She is not the only girl because I'm also here. Don't get too addicted to someone who once put thorns in your heart. Appreciate someone like me who was always there for you ever since day one. Why can't you see the one whose been always in your side… did I miss a second to make you feel the love you deserve?
“But she's one of a kind.”
I don't know what's with that girl for him to be so much obsessed. He was hurt, and yet, he's acting right now that he still can't get over with her. That was years ago, and he should start living a new chapter in his life. Seeing him suffering from pain made me think for a second that maybe Marga's really a wench.
“Shan, I wanted to ask you something.” My voice became serious as my gaze glued on the murals before us. I can't maintain an eye-to-eye contact with him. As far as I can, I wanted to avoid seeing the melancholic looks on his eyes.
“What is it?”
“Do you still love her?” I went straight to the point without letting any second to pass.
He heaved a deep sigh, making my heart beat fast. There's no moment that I didn't blink my eyes. I was patiently waiting for a well-needed answer.
“I'm still into her. And yes, I still love her up to now.”
My world shattered into pieces as a tear attempted to roll on my cheek. Glad I was still able to hold it back. I'm just that shock to hear it from his mouth.
So, after all these years of hurting and breaking, it's still Marga at the end. How come? I beg to disagree.
How dare you, Marga! After you put him into his worst, I was there to fix him, then you returned like it's nothing… and yet, it's still you? That was so unfair. How about me, who was always on his side? Am I not worthy of his love? That should be me…
“Even when she exchanged you for passion?” I asked, my voice cracked.
“I admit that was so selfish of her, Ari. She decided for us. It was all because of her why we part our ways with a heavy heart. But if you really love the person, you will never look on her imperfections and mistakes. Love doesn't require you to judge. Your heart will find its room to forgive if you think more of the good things than the worst ones.”
I bow my head, feeling ashamed of myself. It was a shame for me to expect something from him. I realized that I just look like a fool for chasing someone who's not even interested to run. I expected more from him because I thought he's already a hundred percent over with Marga. But to my surprise, he is still into her. And I'm afraid Marga's still in love with him. If that is the case… then I already lost the game of love.
After all these years, he confirmed the bad news that he's still into her. And that is a very big pain on my chest. By admitting the current status of his heart, he gave me a bitter pill to swallow.
“How can you be so kind and soft-hearted?” I asked in disbelief.
“I just love her. Like what I said, you're not going to judge the person if you truly love them. Just learn how to forgive and forget because we're not getting any younger. We feel it would be better not to regret on the last part, do we?”
“Even when she exchanged you for passion? Shan, remember the tears from your eyes when she said she's going away. Remember the day you almost lost yourself.” That was an advice for him to not easily fall on lies. A reminder that once she hurt you, she might hurt you again.
“I was indeed in my worst those times. Thank you for being always at my side, but I can't just let this opportunity to pass without talking to her again. Because of you, I learned to find my worth. But I'm healed now, and I have to face the consequences on my own.”
Is this already the part where everything ends? Shan is looking forward to talk to her again. There is a big possibility that while they are having a heart-to-heart conversation, they might not prevent to talk about their past. After they settled everything to normal, they might decide to confess what's the real status of their hearts. Then they will start a new chapter in their life with fresh and new memories.
“It's up to you. That's your love story, not mine. But please don't forget to remember me, Shan.” My voice lowered.
“That is impossible, Ari. I will never forget to remember someone who owes a very special spot in my heart,” he smiled.