The day of the competition came and we went to another school to compete there. It was 4 towns away from our school so the travel was a bit long. Mahihiluhin ako pero buti na lang 'di ako nasuka sa van. Madami akong baon na pagkain kasama na dun ang dark chocolate na sinasabing nakatutulong para mag-function ng ayos ang utak.
This is not my first time competing but I was really nervous that day because Math is my favorite subject and I really wanted to win. Alam ko naman na ginawa namin lahat ng aming makakaya para mag-review at tinulungan rin kami ng mga magagaling na teachers namin pati mababait na mga ate at kuya kaya naman nasa isip ko talaga na kailangan namin manalo pero ang mga sumunod na pangyayari ay salungat sa mga hangarin ko.
Madaming mga tanong sa written exam ay 'di namin inasahan at ang pinagsamang score namin ni Yoseph ay sapat lang para mapasok sa top 5. Kung tutuusin ay mataas na yung ranking na nakuha namin dahil sa 35 schools na kalahok, 20 lang ang nakapasok sa next round but I wasn't satisfied and wanted to do better. I was furiously eating away my lunch when someone handed me a bottle of water.
"Dahan-dahan lang. Baka masamid ka."
It was Ethan.
"Salamat." Nilumod ko muna ang pagkain na nginunguya ko pagkatapos ay ininom ang tubig na binigay nya sa 'kin.
"Top 5 daw kayo ah. Ang galing naman."
"Pero mas magaling pa rin kayo, Mr. Top 1."
"Sinwerte lang kami sa mga questions. 'Yung sa inyo daw talaga ang mahirap eh."
"Ah, sinabi mo pa. Pero kung ikaw 'yon, sigurado masasagot mo ang mga tanong na 'yon."
"Ay! Grabe, hindi naman. Ang lakas naman ng tiwala mo sa'kin. Kaya mo rin 'yon kung napasadahan mo ang problem na katulad no'n. Sa sunod, masasagot mo na 'yon."
"Sana nga."
"Good luck sa next round, Kel. Kaya mo yan!"
"Good luck din sa'yo Ethan."
Nagsimula na ang group quiz bee at kasabay ng init ng panahon ay napakainit rin ng kompetisyon. Easy, average, difficult- matapos ang tatlong round na ito ay nalaman na kung sino ang mag-rerepresenta sa division namin para sa regional competition.
And the first place goes to...
Not us.
The second place is...
Obviously, it's not us.
The third place comes from...
Not from our school.
The fourth place goes to...
It's us. It's from our school. It's me and Yoseph. We got 4th place. So we went up on stage to receive our award and certificate. We smiled and took pictures.
I should be happy, right? We ranked 4/35 in our division. We managed to be in the top 5. But somehow we didn't get to the top 3.
I clapped for my seniors who went up on stage. The second-years finished 1st place. The 3rd-years finished 3rd and our 4th-years received 2nd place. Our school managed to be 2nd place overall.
Note: Examination results are released at an average of 3 days after the last examination. The results are published in newspapers of general circulation and also seen at the PRC website. On this day, ranking of schools and list of board topnotchers are also posted.
"2nd place ang school natin kaya naman exempted kayo sa periodical test at ililibre daw tayo ng pagkain ng head teacher ng math department. Congrats, everyone. You did a great job!" Ma'am Helena delivered us the good news.
Nagpalakpakan kami at nagsigawan sa tuwa.
It's an excellent ranking. But what is this? What is this stuffy feeling I feel in my chest? It's not my boobs. I'm flat after all. I was feeling guilty and envious.
Everyone is celebrating but I can't keep my smile for a long time. So before coming back to the van, I went to the comfort room first to compose myself. I was feeling really down and don't have anyone to blame but myself. Naghilamos ako ng mukha at inayos ang sarili ko bago ako lumabas. Paglabas ko, nakita ko si Ethan na hinihintay ako.
Lumapit siya sa akin at nag-aalalang nagtanong, "Okay ka lang ba?"
I was holding myself quite well but when I heard those words from him, tears fell from my face.
"Huh? Bakit ka umiiyak?" He was so flustered and didn't know what to do. Dali-dali siyang naghanap ng panyo at binigay ito sa'kin.
"Ah, medyo amoy-pawis yan kasi ginamit ko kanina, pagpasensyahan mo na." He said shyly and almost took it back when he realized it.
Pinunasan ko ang luha ko at kumalma. Umupo kaming dalawa sa isang bench. Nang makita ni Ethan na medyo ok na ko, tinanong niya ulit ako kung bakit ako umiyak.
"Kasi naiinis lang ako sa sarili ko na 'di man lang kami naging top 3. Edi sana 1st place yung school natin. Edi sana may natanggap rin kaming medal. Edi sana mas naging proud sa min si Ma'am Helena. She was teaching someone who got 1st last year but her students now are 4th place. She must feel disappointed. I feel sorry for her and but mostly disappointed about myself." I vented all my frustration and said it all out loud to him. I don't know but I feel comfortable talking with him.
"Sinabi ba ni Ma'am Helena na disappointed s'ya sa 'yo?" pagtatanong niya sa akin.
"Huh? Hindi pero-"
"Why are you feeling sorry? 'Di mo ba ginawa lahat ng makakaya mo?"
"Ginawa ko naman yung lahat pero-"
"Then that's enough. Okay na 'yon. You worked hard and everyone knows it. Alam ko 'yon. It doesn't matter whether you win 4th or 1st place. As long as you did your best, ranking doesn't matter. Pero if ranking really does matter to you, then here, akin na ang kamay mo."
"Huh?"
He grabbed one of my hands and put a white rectangle box on top of it.
"Ito yung medal mo for winning 1st place,  di ba?"
"Hindi ko 'yan medal. Sa'yo na 'yan. Because for me, you're the first."
"Ano? Bakit mo binibigay sa'kin ito? Tsaka anong first?"
Binuksan niya 'yung box at kinuha ang lamang gold medal sa loob. Hinawakan niya 'yung medal sa harap ko bago sabihin ang sagot niya sa tanong ko.
"First...
IN IYAKIN."
Sinuot niya sa leeg ko 'yung medal bago kumaripas ng takbo papalayo sa'kin.
Hinabol ko siya at dahil kay Ethan, nawala ang bigat sa kalooban ko. I caught up to him but he told me to keep the medal and give it back when I get mine next year. He said if I couldn't get one, then the medal would be mine to keep forever.
I swear I knew I was falling for him but this is the day that I knew I'm really in love with him. Apart from being smart and good at math, he's also sweet, thoughtful and a warm person overall. And I felt that warmth even more that day as we sat side by side in the backseat of the van on our way home. 
I haven't had this feeling before but
P.S. I think I'm in love with you.
I thought so as I rest my head on his shoulder.