Zach's Pov:
I suddenly remember what my Ate said before she left us, "You shouldn't hurt your woman, Zach. Women are the most precious thing in the world. They may be complicated, but trust me they can change your life in the most unexpected way." she said while holding the chopsticks, eating some ramyeon directly on our pot.
I smiled before nodding at what she have said. I'm so glad that I have a sister like her. She guides me in many ways. She helps me when I'm down. She teaches me how to love and treat a girl nicely, that's why when I met Shaneylhey, I did my very best just for me to deserve her.
Shaneylhey is the most adorable woman that I met even though she's scary at some times. I couldn't deny how she changed my doomed life after my Ate died. She helped me stand on my own and to be strong, facing all my fears and weaknesses. She changed me, and I want to do something for her in return. She deserves the world more than anything.
"Shan, I'm sorry," I whispered as I tried to stop myself from crying.
She immediately turns her back and looked at me. Confusion was written all over her face as she watched me dried my tears. I bit my lower lip to stop my emotions out so that she would no longer asks what was happening to me.
"Sorry saan?" She asked confusedly. Her eyebrows begun to form a line when I slightly shook my head to avoid from answering.
I slowly remove her palm that was touching my cheeks as I distance myself from her. I dried my tears using my pulse then grab the mineral bottle. Furthermore, I drank it all just to calm myself down and to prevent myself from saying inappropriate words to her.
"Kain ka na," I smiled and gestured my hands to the foods that I bought for her. Her forehead wrinkles while looking at me intently as if still confused. I smiled even more to show her that I'm really okay. She just shoved her head off and accept the fruits that I gave.
I was just looking intently at her while admiring her beauty. I heave a deep sigh and secretly scratch the back of my neck just to prevent myself from the sudden embarrassment.
My mouth can't utter the words that I wanted to say, but my heart says it all. I kept saying sorry to her every time I get to annoyed and pissed her. I think that's my responsibility because every time I ask her a load of questions, she immediately frowns and begin to divert the topic. She was hiding something from me, but I don't have the guts to ask her, and I felt sorry for that. I am trying my best to understand her mood swings even if she's not doing the same thing. I sighed again to let out the heavy feelings in my heart.
I know she's hurt deep inside. I know she's feeling alone. I can feel that what she's hiding from me can reveal the true her, and that is what I'm trying to do. I want to know her and I also want to feel her pain.
I AM heading to the nearest Korean restaurant to buy my sister, Elisa some Korean food. She wakes me up just to tell me that she's craving for jjajangmeyeon and soft tofu. So, here I am lazily buying the foods that she want.
I was supposed to exit myself out when the woman in front of me nearly fell on the floor. I immediately wrapped my arms around her small waist to catch her and prevent her from falling.
My eyes unconsciously flew straight to her chestnut lazy eyes. She looked and stare at me as if I'm the most handsome guy in the world. My eyebrows automatically form a straight line when I realized it was Shan and winced when I smelled the aroma of liquor.
"What are you doing here?" I asked as my forehead wrinkles because of confusion.
"Umiinom," she lazily answered and let out a long yet so soft yawn.
That was cute!
"And why is that?" I asked again while hugging her waist tightly so that she wouldn't fall. She just answered me with a small shrug along with its yawn.
"Inaantok na ako. Kailangan ko ng umuwi." She replied as she tried to open her eyes. But instead of walking out, she sleepily rested her head on my chest.
I immediately assisted her to sit on the nearest chair before kneeling in front of her to take a peek on her face. I touched her cheeks to guide her face to look at me. She drunkly gazes her upturned chestnut eyes straight into my eyes, turning my stomach upside down. She closes the space between us and moved towards me even more while looking at my lips. I lowered my eyes too and unconsciously stares at her rosy soft lips. I was sweating of bullets when I realized that her face was inches away from me and was about to kiss me but suddenly, she let out a long and sleepy yawn. Her head automatically falls on my face which made me shocked for a moment of seconds.
I looked at her again and begun to noticed her diamond face shape with a tall noseline and a perfect jawline. Her reddish cheeks made her more beautiful than ever. I admire her once more before forming a small smile on my lips, obviously in love at her.
"TARA NA," she said after changing her clothes inside my bathroom.
My eyebrows immediately furrows while looking at her from the top of her head to the bottom of her feet. She's wearing a simple vegas gold split sleeves partnered with a bootcut pants, showing the small curve of her body and flexing her long legs. Her medium tanned skin color matches the split sleeves she's wearing with her relaxed red long, shiny, smooth hair that's been below her shoulders.
"Bakit?" She annoyingly asked and frowns her forehead. I unconsciously shook my head after seeing how beautiful and attractive she is just by wearing those simple clothes.
"Looking like that?" I didn't mean to insult her but I guess I already did. "I mean don't you want to comb your hair, put make-up on your face and spray some perfume?" I asked confusedly as my eyebrows form a line.
"No. Why would I do that?" She answered like it's just a typicall question. She didn't even bother to dry her face.
I shook my head and walked towards the vanity table before picking-up the hair dryer and turned it on. I immediately gestured my hands in between my thighs. She raised a brow and shook her head. I also raised my eyebrows before talking.
"Come here, I'll dry your hair." I offered before tapping the space that was dedicated for her.
She let out a heavy sigh before forcing herself to walk. I grab her waist and guided her to sit before turning on the hair dryer. I looked at the mirror and saw the reflection of her eyes. Full of sadness, loneliness and pain. She was weak inside, asking and begging for someone who's willing to love and take care for her. She's hurt. I can saw it in her eyes. My heart immediately broke when I realized how long she had been taking all of those pain all by herself.
"I LIKE you, Shan." I sincerely repeated as I turn my gaze on her and focused my eyes straight to her eyes, secretly admiring and loving every inch of her whole being.
I've been practicing my lines on confessing to her for days just to say a simple 'I like you, Shan.' I was nervous and tensed as I utter those four simple words. Just by looking and staring at her made my heart beat faster than before. My whole being went upside down whenever I see those eyes staring and intently looking at me.
"Shan," I breathlessly murmured when I saw her gripping my gun tightly. She points the end of the gun straight towards me that made me quiver. "W-what are you doing?" I gulped, trying to clear my voice and to stop myself from stuttering. I looked at her again, trembling and sweating as I tried to walk towards her, but immediately stops when she glares at me.
"Stay still." She commanded and points the gun on the other direction. She releases one bullet on the other direction while her eyes were still focused on me.
My eyes unconsciously glanced to the gun she was holding. I was too shocked to even react. My mind can't process how she manage to release that bullet easily and softly. She smirks before walking towards me and automatically grabs the back of my head to close the distance between us. Her breath is touching my ears making me nervous at the same time quiver. I breathe aggresively when I saw her smiling at my peripheral vision making me anxious of how I look.
"I like you too." She whispered underneath her breath as she distance herself from me wearing her gorgeous smile.
I feel like the time immediately stops when I heard those beautiful words from her. I blinked my eyes a million times just to wake myself up and continuously gulped to clear my voice before scanning each side of her face. Her diamond face shape together with her chestnut upturned set of eyes with her tall noseline and perfect jawline that matches her medium tanned skin color. She's too perfect and I can't even imagine myself to be her man. I don't deserve her but I'll do my best to be a better man for her. I will always make her happy and contented on the life she had.
"DO YOU MIND if I ask something?" I asked hesitately, breaking the silence between us.
We're sitting on the white sand while I was hugging her from the back. I wrapped my arms tightly around her waist and pulled her closer to me. I relaxed my chin on the top of her shoulder before looking at the side of her face and smell her body perfume causing me to go even more closer to her. I once smell her neck before looking at her. She glanced at me for a seconds and slightly shook its head.
"Bakit gustong-gusto mong makapunta rito?" I observed and watched her eyes twinkle together with the light coming from the sunset. She looked at me before turning her eyes at the sea and let out a heavy sigh. "Never mind. If you don't want to answer my question, it's okay." I immediately retracted when I saw that she's not ready to open up yet.
We went silent after that while admiring the beautiful sea when suddenly, she started talking.
"Noong kabataan ko kasi never ako nagkaroon ng oras para magsaya sa tabing dagat," she softly said, still looking at the sea. I wrapped my arms tighter around her waist as I gave my full attention to her. "Mas maganda atang sabihin na wala akong childhood memories." She bitterly laugh. Her eyes were unhappy all the time, all I can see is pure sadness and loneliness. She's depressed deep inside but she's strong and cool outside.
That's what I like about her. I love it when she tries herself to get up even though she can't. I love it when she helps herself to be independent even though she needs someone to lean on. I admired this strong and brave woman in front of me. She suffers a lot but none of us asked her if she's okay. She stumble multiple times, she commit mistakes a million times, her life is a mess, but here she was, independently living for herself just to keep herself alive for her family.
"It's okay to cry," I whispered on her ear over and over again and softly hugged her while patting her back to calm her down before giving small kisses on her cheeks.
"Hindi ko man lang naranasan ang saya na gusto kong maranansan. Lahat ng gusto kong gawin ay bawal. Lahat ng pinapangarap kong maramdaman ay bawal. Lahat na lang bawal. Ang sakit sakit lang na isipin na sa bawat kilos mo, alam mong may nakabantay sayo. Sa tuwing ginagawa mo ng malaya ang gusto mo, meron at meron pa ring pipigil sa kalayaan mong iyon para lamang maputol ang kasiyahan mo." She panted as her hands trembled in fear, misery, anger and lost.
I didn't say anything. I hugged her tighter while she cries loudly on my chest, letting out the pain on her heart. My heart breaks every time I hear her sobs, my heart crushed every time I saw tears in her eyes, my heart hurts every time I see how she suffers secretly. She suffers alone. She carry too much pain and hatred in her heart. I can't bare to see her like that. I kissed the top of her head as I tried myself not to cry. I bit my lower lip when her sobs get louder and louder every time she tries to calm herself. I hugged her tightly while brushing my cheeks on her smooth hair.
"You don't have to say sorry. You don't need to pretend whenever I'm here. Whoever you are, I will truly accept you." I sincerely whispered as I planted a long soft kiss on the top of her head. "Don't stop your emotions and feelings. If you're happy, then laugh and smile. If you're angry, then shout it in front of my face until it satisfies your heart. If you're sad, then cry. Don't keep your feelings inside your heart, let it out and make yourself happy and contented. Don't let anyone dictate your life. Live for your own good not for others." I continued and hugged her tighter than before.
I would never let her feel that she's alone. I would never let sadness consume her heart. She deserves better, she deserves peaceful in her heart. She deserves to be happy. I won't let her suffer anymore the pain that she's suffering all along because I knew that what affects us the most can't be seen, but felt. She may be strong outside, but definitely weak and soft inside.
"SHAN," my hands were trembling while calling the woman I love. Shan didn't answer, she just grinned at me making my body shiver. "What are you doing here?" I asked weakly as I looked at her, straight into her glaring eyes.
She smirks before walking towards me and stops in front of me, not taking her eyes. Shan slowly grabs my hand that was holding a gun and unexpectedly pointed the gun that I was holding straight into her head as she fiercely faced me. My body automatically froze as I looked at her.
My eyes widen in shock and my lips falls in fear. My heart was beating faster than before and my whole body trembled with a mixture of nervousness and fear that it might accidentally trigger the gun and hit her in her head. I tried to speak but I couldn’t. My hands were sweating as I looked straight into Shan's searching eyes.
Shan smirk, "Pull that trigger." she gave a strong command while looking at me. I couldn't speak immediately and remained unable to move in front of her. "You want to kill me, right? Then pull that trigger." Shan continued who now looked unafraid.
I shook my head aggressively as my tears begun to show. My heart aches every time she thinks that I want to kill her. My heart aches every time she looks at me with her sharp glare. She seemed ready to kill herself as if not afraid of death. I shook my head as I remembered her full name.
Shaneylhey Rica Heirera.
She's the daughter of the man that killed and raped my sister. Her father was to blame for why my sister disappeared. Her father was the reason why my life turned out like this. His father was the reason why I lost hope in my heart. But that wasn't enough reason for me to hurt her. I can't hurt her because my eyes and heart can't bare to see her suffer in pain. It feels like I hurt myself with my own hands. I love her even though she was the daughter of the man I hated. She is the reason why I live today, she is the reason why my life is easier, and she is the reason why I am able to love again.
I slowly walked towards her while my tears were falling down to my cheeks. I gently pulled her close to me and gave her a tight hug to calm her down. Her body automatically froze at my sudden movement which made me tighten my hug even more. I gently and carefully caressed the top of her head while putting a light kiss. I bit my lower lip to prevent myself from sobbing.
Her sobs were getting louder and louder and that hurts a lot for me. I want to take all the pain she's keeping. I want her to have a happy life, but I don't know how. I want to cry but I can't, I have to stay stronger than her so that she can have someone to lean on. I feel like my heart is squeezing every time I see her tears, my whole being is torn every time I hear her sobs. I know she's hurt because I know that she didn't want this to happen, but I'll still accept her no matter who she is.
I LOVE YOU.
I tried to say those three words, but I could not because of the severe weakness and pain I had suffered. I winced as I felt my wound hurt even more each time I try to move. Shan quickly approached me and pressed her ear to my chin while sobbing, waiting for the word I wanted to say. My heart ached as I saw her tears continue to flow from her eyes down to her cheeks. I weakly hugged my own arm around her head that was leaning on my chin. I cried as I put a tender and a light kiss on her forehead along with the flow of tears that I could not stop.
I want to hold her forever, but I can't.
I took a deep breath to gain strength to speak. I hugged her tightly even though the wound on my head hurt. I kissed her head once again before uttering the words I wanted to say.
"I love you," I weakly whispered through my breath and gave her a long, sincere and sweet kiss on her forehead before letting myself feel the pain that I've been feeling.
I can feel the blood continuously cascading all over my head as I slowly release my arms around her. My hands and my body became weak. I want to close my eyes. I just want to sleep. I want to rest.
My arms weakly falls onto the ground as I close my eyes. My heart stops beating, so as my breath. The pain in my wound automatically disappear when I choose to rest forever.
I choose to sacrifice myself because I know that she doesn't deserve any of this. She deserves to be loved. She deserves to be taken care of. She deserves peace in her heart. And that was I'm trying to do. I sacrificed myself for her to have a long life and to be happy and contented on what she have. She deserves the whole world, not this bullshit.
To be continued...