Sa mga oras na ito, I am beyond agitated. Ito ang isa sa pinakakinatatakutang ko pang scenario kapag first day ng classes at bagong salta ka sa klase HAHHAHA, kidding aside. By the way, It is now my turn to introduce myself in front of some strangers. Nakatayo ako sa harap ng mga kaklase ko habang ang nga kamay kong nag tetremble ay nakatago sa may bandang likod ng aking palda at nakalugay ang akig mga buhok upang bahagya kong maitago ang aking mukhang halos maihi na sa nerbyos. 'Seeesh, this is nerve-wracking, pero go Salve, laban lang', wika ko sa aking isip habang nangangatog na ang mga binti ko sa kaba.
Wala talaga akong ibang choice kundi ang gawin ito, kaya eto na, I blinked my eyes for a few seconds para isipin na walang nakatingin sa akin, focus focus focus, focuse kanlang, Salve, wika ko sa aking isipan. Ito ang technique na itinuro sa akin nino pa nga ba? Eh di ng aking Papa hahahaha, na sa tuwing nasa kalagitnaan ako ng pangamba, I can just pretend that I am alone in a room with no one else but myself, no one is listening to me, and no one will judge me. I smiled and began speaking, the moment I opened my mouth to say a single word, the room began to be filled with silence, everyone glared at me as if anticipating for something extraordinary. Mas domoble ang kaba ko, "Halaa, bakit ang tatahimik niyo mga tsong at tsang? Mas kabado bente tuloy si Salve" sabi ko sa aking isip upang mahimasmasan ako ng kaunti.
"H-hello, everyone! It is nice to stand in front of you, and I know that it will b-be nicer to be with you along this journey. I know that my face is unfamiliar to all of you because I have just transferred and I am here for the last two semesters of college. Anyway, my name is Salvation Ereeh D. Santos, you may call me Salve. But please refrain from calling me Ereeh haha. I live few blocks away from this campus. Uhm facts about me are, I love music. I consider myself as a lonesome soul. I love being alone but please, feel free to talk to me for your convenience hehe. I am enourmously having a hard time conversing with people except my Papa. I barely spend time socializing with people and believe it or not I do not have friends. It is just my Papa who serves as my everything ing life. Since my mother departed from us due to a heart illness when I was 11, I spent all my untold stories, rants, unsung songs, cup of coffees, little achievements, and all my drawbacks with him uhmm, I chose AB English because I have been in love with learnig the language since I am on my second grade in elementary, and though I am an introvert, I'd still love to know the vast world of english and everythings on its field that's it yeah, thank you." I said and bowed my head when I heard my classmates clapped their hands.
"Yeheyyy, mission accomplished!" Tangan ko sa akig sarili.
Pero hindi ko at hindi ko inasahan ang maririnig ko sa isa sa nga classmates ko, A deeo and manly voice shouted "Singer pala, sample sample sample" and the entire room was filled with their chants, halos magpalamon na lamang ako sa lupa sa kahihiyan. Jusko, Salve ano ba itong pinasukan mo na naman.
"H-ha? Ah eh, hehe wala akong guitar na dala ngayon eh, pwede ba bukas na lang?" Pag eexplain ko sa kanila, nagbabaka sakaling bilhin nila ang argument ko na ito. But again, to my surprise, a cute lady stood up at iniabot sa akin ang hawak niyang gitara. Halos pareho lang kami ng height, skinny din siya like I am, she is wearing all black garments from head to toe, with the on fleak lip stick na mistulang itim din, she winked at me after she lend the guitar and a chair para upuan ko habang tumutugtog at saka sinabi "jam tayo soon, huwag ka mahiya ha?" Saka siya bumalik sa kaniyang seat.
I just plastered an awkward smile to my face at saka tumango as a response to her.
I cleared my throat at saka inayos ko ang aking pagkakaupo at saglit na inistrum strum ang gitara.
Oh, maybe I came on too strong
Maybe I waited too long
Maybe I played my cards wrong
Oh, just a little bit wrong
Baby I apologize for it
Pagsisimula ko sa kanta, natahimik ang lahat. Hindi ko alam kung hindi nila nagustuhan ang kanta ko at pagtugtog, medyo mas nanginig ako ng makita ko ang tahimik na reaksyon nilang lahat kaya pinikit ko nalang ang mga mata ko. I pretended to be alone, again. This is my favorite song of Ed Sheeran kaya inisip ko na lamang na babalewalain ko na lang ang kahihiyang ito in the next days, medyo nasanay na rin naman ako sa kahihiyan HAHAHA.
I could fall or I could fly
Here in your aeroplane
And I could live, I could die
Hanging on the words you say
And I've been known to give my all
And jumping in harder than
Ten thousand rocks on the lake"
Sa parteng ito ng song ay may pagpause saglit bago ang chorus. At sa hindi ko inaasahang pangyayari, nakisabay sa aking pagbawit ang nga estrangherong mukha sa harapan ko. Super surreal sa pakiramdam, ni hindi ko naimagine na mararanasan ko ang ganitong kaligayan sa tanang buhay ko. Yes, I sing often, pero sa harap at kapag kasabay ko lamang si Papa. This moment needs to be treasured.
So don't call me baby
Unless you mean it
Don't tell me you need me
If you don't believe it
So let me know the truth
Before I dive right into you
Nagsilaban pala sila ng phone at nagvideo sa napakasayang momentum ng klase. Tinapos ko na ang awitin at walang mayaw na palakpak ang sumalubong sa tenga ko. Narinig ko pa ang sigaw ng iba kong kaklase
"Weweet"
"Sana all mahiyain pero ganiyan kagaling"
"Mine, Salve, mine"
"Grab"
"Steal"
"Super steal, Salve" at kung anu ano pang kantyaw.
Muli akong nagbow sa harap nila. Pagkatapos ko ay tinawag na ang susunod na magpapakilala ng kaniyang pangalan. Habang naglalakad naman na ako patungo sa upuan ko ay may nasagi na naman akong balikat, we both stopped in the aisle of the room and he glanced at me and murmured, "Hi, Kulangot, grabe nice voice". My face flushed red sa mga oras na iyon. "Ang boses na iyon, it's the same voice na nakabangga ko at ang nagpasimuno kanina na ng chant kaya napakanta ako ng wala sa oras, hmm" tangan ko sa aking isip. Tumingala ako and I glared at him with my most pissed reaction and went straight to my seat.
"Ikaw, alam mo kanina ka pa, hindi ka nakakatuwa tabi" sumbat ko sa kaniya.
"Sungit, kulangot. Don'r worry secret lang naman natin iyong eh bleh bleh bleh bleh" sagot niya naman sa akin.
Napasapo na lamang ako ng nuo at saka tinignan ulit siya ng masama. He walked in front of the class kaya which gave me relief.
Kapag minamalas ka nga naman...