“Relationship – the way in which two or more concepts, objects, or people are connected, or the state of being connected.”
Love, sex, dating, boyfriends, and girlfriends have one thing in common: these are huge factors in our lives. Everything from our form of entertainment to our inner thoughts can be consumed by our relationships. On a much closer scale, we see that from our school to our personal lives are being bombarded by relationships. Everything from the so called Friday night celebration to a lot of dramas and conflict caused by break ups and rejections liters our conversation everyday. Facebook feeds are filled by a lot of statuses about a boyfriend or a girlfriend, a change of relationship status, and a lot more different things. Sometimes spending our days being stressed because of what that guy or girl have said to us. We can be up all night chatting somebody filled with the hopes that this person will ask us out. Girls may constantly worry whether this certain guy she likes notices her, or guys can spend their hours comparing this girl into the other one. Others may show up to class looking problematic and feeling hurt because of the break up that happened or because of rejection. These things happened because we are created for relationships. We weren’t created to spend our entire life being alone but to have friends and to be with people who we care about and genuinely care about us as well. You are not weird for wanting a relationship with someone and it is not weird to feel hurt after a relationship has ended. These are normal. Because our culture and generation tends to glorify relationships, we also started to glorify what we think relationships may bring and do for us. Girls have bought the belief that a relationship will bring security and a feeling of completion. Guys also had given their idea of the “ideal look” for girls and then started comparing girls from their area and those girls seen from the magazines and movies, that caused girls to go to extreme lengths to try to achieve looking like them.
Teen age relationship can be confusing for girls. It is also a time where new emotions and feelings appear and affect the hearts of girls. It is not an easy time to be a teenage girl at all. Dances come up, friends gossip behind your back, and a guy can reject you. These will, or course hurt you. There are some instances in your life also that happen, where you feel that your parents or family cannot understand what you’re feeling. And with this, a thought come in your mind that a boyfriend can be the solution. Having one is the way you think that can make you feel secure, protected, excitement, and fun. I know that a guy can easily consume your heart and mind. It doesn’t help given the fact that a lot in entertainment industry can make a girl be geared towards the idea about finding and having the picture perfect relationship. Movies and television shows boyfriends who portray their roles showing all the good character and behavior when treating their girl. Of course I have been into a lot of stages like that. The fact that a teenage girl’s heart is fragile and is looking for validation, protection, and completion. And the longing for a relationship comes in mind. And when a teenage guy approach you, tells you he loves you, expresses his interests to you, notices you, it is easy to think that he loves you. Scenarios like these; where he holds you, pull you towards his embrace, kisses you, it is easy for a girl to conclude that his gestures are romantic and that he is the one who completes you. The feeling of wanting to be valued, loved, and be complete, these are totally valid. We constantly looking for confirmation and for the feeling of being special. High school is a hard time, teenage life is a hard time. There are older guys, some may be noticing you. There are a lot of opportunities, responsibilities, pressure and more dramas. On top of that you may have a feeling for somebody with whom you think will complete you. At times a girl can feel that her goal in life is to be with this guy. Maybe it was because of something good that he said to you, that made your heart flutter. Maybe it was from the way he looked at you, that you can feel that you are the only girl in his eyes. Or maybe it is your idea of him, your own version of him which you created in your head. Whatever it is, for you he is the only one and he is exactly what you need in your life. He may look like he is the answer to your problems. That when you are with him, you feel you are secured and protected. He looks like he is someone who will do everything for you to make you feel better. Having a boyfriend can seem like this is the answer to your sadness and feeling of emptiness. Even when you think that your home life sucks, your friends keep talking behind your back, you still have a boyfriend and that he is the only one you need. The truth that relationship often looks like the way for girls to feel complete. Well, sometimes girls aren’t looking for the feeling of completion so much as they are looking for their value. Lets face this, that the society itself doesn’t show their respect and value for women and has come to treat women as mere objects for fulfilment and nothing more. You, as a girl often feel that you are unworthy, like you are nothing. Whether it is because of what other girls said to you, like you are ugly and made fun of you, or for the insecurity you are struggling with, it is easy for a girl to feel unappreciated. Girls may want to be in a relationship, because finally a boy likes her and makes her feel valued. To make things worse, guys also plays the role of easily making girls feel bad by making fun of their insecurities. Situations like these are very common. Girls who don’t feel comfortable about their body image, who are struggling with lots of insecurities, being bullied. Then suddenly a guy notices you at school and show his interest to you. And with you may now feel the you are worthy and valued. This is also the reason for girls who grew up with an abusive father in their lives to look for relationships. And with the growing rate of divorce rates or abandonment of parents, many young girls are growing up without a solid father figure in their lives. And that having a boyfriend may be a way of approval they can get from males. You may feel that no guy can value you because of the fact that your very own father didn’t even make you feel that you are valued. A relationship can look like a way to cover up for the past experiences with a father or from another male. Because girls are consistently being reminded of the idea that they need to look pretty, it can be hard for them to value themselves and it is easy to see a relationship as a way to make them feel that they are being valued. Love is a big thing in a teenage girl’s life. Every teenage girls want to be loved and be cared about. A girl’s heart is looking for somebody or someone to come by and hold, protect and cherish it. A guy may look like the person who will hold your heart and love you. He will make you feel that you are appreciated, that you are special and it makes you stay up all night thinking about him because you are loved by him. With this, your heart will think that you finally found love. And it feels like it is love. But is it really love? A solid advice for girls who are looking for completion, value, and love in a boyfriend. Do not forget to look before you fall. Use your observation first to weigh the things or someone that is being present right in front of your eyes. Look and think before you jump into a relationship with somebody else. Think before you place your hopes in a boy. And be ready for the idea of feeling empty again. Why? Because relationships is not always being happy. That the idea you formulated about relationship is not gonna look like it at all. Relationships aren’t perfect, and guy aren’t definitely perfect at all. Boyfriends cannot provide completion, the value, or the provide girls’ needs. While there is a hole in a girl’s heart, then it is a hole too big for a boyfriend to fill. Boys will let you down. Your boyfriend will say something that can hurt you or do something to hurt you. He will ignore you. He will forget to call you or answer your calls. He will be selfish. And unfortunately, time will come when he will probably break up with you. Right now you are at a vulnerable state in your life where it will be easy for you to give yourself over to a boy. And when things like these happens, you will feel heartbroken and be wondering “Why didn’t he call me? Was it something I did?” But just because a boyfriend does not provide what you need, that does not mean that you will never find the feeling of being loved, appreciated, or the confirmation that you are enough. It just means that you need to be patient, you need to fully love yourself first. And when the right time comes, the right person will present itself to you. Always remember this; that the right man will never run away from you.
Relationship is as prevalent in a guy’s life. One of the big differences is that guys tend to be driven by visual and physical appearances much more than emotional attraction. It is definitely a mix of both. Guys often jump into relationships mostly having bad intentions, base the whole relationship with looks, and watch pornography a lot. These things are not just ruining the way teenage guys do relationships, but they also ruining the way they view and treat women. Almost every guy like girls wants a girlfriend. And most of them date a girl for wrong reasons and try to mess with their personal feelings just to satisfy their personal gain. There are times when they want to date a girl because they think they will be more cooler than the other guys, using a girl as a mere ego booster. We date with bad intentions when we are being selfish in a relationship. Whether you are dating to feel better, date to have sex and get pleasure, or dating to look goof in front of other people, we are selfishly dating. When girls are being treated as mere objects to gain respect. And some guys used girls for their own pleasure. A girl who is misled in a relationship will do something that she probably not want to do and ended up walking away hurting because of the guy’s bad intentions. Another one is when a guy wants to date someone to feel more like a man. The society has defined men as the guy who dates the best looking girl or who can get with the most girls. Of course, guys wanted to see that they are being admired and respected. This thing is not always bad, but it can reach a certain level where a guy will see their value through someone else. Some guys doesn’t like the idea of being single or staying single because they don’t feel that they valuable or loved if they aren’t dating. Some guys find their confidence in whether or not a girl likes them. They be either doing stupid things and act immaturely to get a girl’s attention in order for them to be noticed. And tend to feel that they are higher if girls notice them. If a guy’s intention in dating and hanging with a girl is to elevate his view of who he is and make himself feel better, the relationship is selfish and most likely it will fail. When a relationship started with bad intentions, it will become a relationship that involves pain, frustrations, and anger. Because guys are visual, it is much easier for them to date a girl and pay attention to her is because of the good looks. A guy practically remembers every attractive girl he sees, whether it is in the mall, at schools, in movies, through the internet, or at a concert. While girls will end an existing relationship if she cannot stand the guy anymore, a guy will date a girl for a while just because she is good looking, even if he can’t stand being with that girl. Dating someone because of good looks can hurt the person you are dating and will be the start of drama. Girls whom guys call pretty and hot can think they are much better and more important than they really are, and the girls who don’t get looked feel worthless, ugly, and unimportant. Why? It is because guys put too much emphasis on looks. Guys can spend a lot of their time thinking how attractive this girl is and then start to judge and compare girls that are not like their character or personality, or their looks. And as a result, guys try to date girls who are not ready or mature enough to date while looking over the girls who are ready and had matured enough. Guys can be so good at comparing girls that they do it subconsciously, without notice or warning. They can’t help it that they are being primarily visual, but they should not take it so far to rate girls and treat them differently based on their appearance. Then there is also this case, where we think that if you are in a relationship some believes that if they love their boyfriend or girlfriend we should have sex with them. Guys use this a lot as a way to have sex and girl have sex because they want to try and earn their boyfriend’s love. Any love that needs to be earned is not love. And any guy who tells you he loves you just because he wants ot have sex with you is not worth your time. Just because you think that you are in love does not mean that you also need to have sex. If you really love each other, then both of you must be wiling to wait for the right time and you guys have grown. I have heard so many adult stories of how they had sex during high school because they though they were so in love only to break up with that person later. Sex can create an extremely emotional attachment to a teenager dealing with the break up to someone who he or she had sex with. It creates mixed emotions. Sex can also have a lot of physical consequences. Sex can lead to pregnancy, or to have STD’s ( sexually transmitted disease). We cannot avoid this topic. And it is important to understand some of the less obvious things about sex. It is not just a physical contact, and no matter how hard you try to convince yourself that it is. You know that there are much more to that. There are lots of danger that comes with relationships. The danger breaks down into four different categories; the selfishness, a false placement of faith, the never- ending desire to feel satisfaction, and the hurt and pain that comes after the relationship. All of the reasons that we long for a relationship fit into these four categories in some sort of way. They are the dangers we fail to consider thinking about but can cause devastation in our lives. Selfish relationships are barely called as a relationship. When we are in selfish relationship, we are building ourselves to be in a better situation that will cause someone else’s happiness. When we are being selfish only wanting what we want, what pleasures us. We tend to forget to even asked what the other person is thinking, since we only focus on ourselves. In a selfish relationship we are hurting the person that we are in a relationship, because we never really invest our genuine feelings to that person. And with a person’s selfish mentality, he/she will continue to use his/her significant other endlessly just to fulfill their own satisfaction. The action can cause problems for both people. The selfish one in the relationship becomes self-centered and annoying. A selfish person can never be satisfied with his/her life. He/she will always look for something more, and will never find his/her contentment. And as this person will grow older, without even changing his or herself they will continue their selfishness in every aspects of their life. They may get rich, make a lot of money, achieve their dreams but they still are empty and shallow under the surface. Selfishness will never lead to happiness and fulfillment. For many times girls and guys put their faith to their boyfriends and girlfriends and in the end only received pain because of their partners selfishness. Relationships involve two people, different from each other and are imperfect. People hurt other people, no matter how hard they try to not hurt others. Think about this; when we get hurt by other people especially those people whom we love, the faith and love we put unto them gets broken and you are left wandering what you did wrong. Often times when we are in a relationship we put our hopes into our partners, then the time when all the hopes get crushed. Or in some instances, let us say that some didn’t experienced getting dumped. The hope and faith we have for the relationship is still a risk to take, because you will be constantly doing everything you can do just for the sake of avoiding break ups and losing hope. So, we try to please our partners at all costs, even to the point when you do the things you don’t want to do. You will do whatever it takes just to prove to your partner that you love him/her that much. Real hope should not be earned. Constantly proving yourself to your girlfriend/boyfriend will only lead you to a lot of heartaches. You don’t need to push yourself to hard just to prove something to anyone. You got to learn to lessen and avoid being a people pleaser. If you feel to yourself that you shouldn’t be doing this thing, then stop it. You don’t need to continue it. If you don’t find yourself agreeing to what somebody else thinks you need to do, do not do it. Do things, that you know what is best for you to engage in. When your boyfriend or girlfriend tells you do this, even though it is makes you uncomfortable. Please, listen to what your soul tells you. Learn to set healthy boundaries when you are in a relationship. I’ve seen a lot of partners, dealing with a lot of dramas. Partners disrespecting their significant other, pushing their partner to do something just to prove that they really love their partner, sexually assaulting their partner even their partner says NO, abuses their partner, and many more. Always keep in mind, when you are seeing lots of red flags leave the relationship immediately. There is no need to endure it all, then just letting yourself suffer. And for those neglecting the signs that are showing up, please remove the rose-colored glasses you’re wearing. There is no need to endure the struggle, if you think the relationship is failing and there is no hope in retrieving the kind of relationship you used to have, then just learn to let go. Letting go, is not a bad thing to do. When you are not happy by what is happening to your relationship, let go and move on. If you keep on enduring these things, you are sacrificing your real happiness. We don’t need to put up through all these shits and broken faith. This are just a passing phase, so let it go. Will it be easy? Of course, no. But it will be worth it? Yes.