Arjay is sitting in the living room of their humble home. Sitting in front of him is his crying mother and behind her is his father, who is constantly rubbing his wife’s back to keep her calm. Arjay just came from the seminary. It was a sudden move from him but he needed to do it. He wasn’t sure what would his parents’ feel, but now he is certain: they are heartbroken. He let out a sigh.
“What happened, son? You could have waited… it will only take another year… why didn’t you finish it?” his mom sniffled, and she wiped her flowing tears.
What will he say? Should he tell her that he was tempted? Even if his mom is a gentle soul, she could give him a big slap for that reason, and thinking of it already hurts. She would never believe him if he tells her that his reason was he failed in his academics, because he will never do. And it’s very much impossible if he would say that he raised a fight against a priest in the congregation. She will never believe that reason either because she knows he would not and cannot do it.
“Hon, calm down.” His father said, more to his mother. His father sighed and looked at him. “Son, it’s not that I approved your actions, but I won’t be a hypocrite to tell you that I am not happy about your decision because, I really am happy, but son, why so sudden? I agree with your mom on this because it really is regrettable… very unfortunate. It will only take another year and you will soon graduate with a Theology degree. What changed your mind on this? And please son, don’t lie. We would rather hear the painful truth than a very good lie. ” his father said to him.
He kept his silence. He can’t tell them yet. He needs perfect timing and courage to tell them. Besides, if he tells them anything now, then it would all be a lie. He doesn’t like that and most importantly, they would not like it. His mom is still crying. He knows what his mom feels right now because she never failed to let him know what and how she feels every single time. And right now, she wanted him to feel guilty of what he did. He knows that she feels sullen right now just like the time when she learned that he is entering the seminary. It’s the same scenario for them.
‘You are our only son, Arjay. Please rethink about your decision, son.” His mom is crying.
‘But mom, I really wanted to. It’s my calling, I can feel it. Besides, it can make us closer to God, right? You are serving in the church, and your only son will be a priest. Isn’t that great?’ he asked her.
‘Son, what we are trying to say is that, when you enter, there is no going back. Are you sure you really wanted to do this?’ his father asked.
‘I want to enter the seminary dad. Please support me on this.’ He pleaded.
‘We always supported you, in every step of the way, but asking us to support you to be a priest is a tough choice to make, son. Please reconsider.” His mom said.
‘I’ve already made up my mind, mom. I’m still entering whether you approve it or not. Father Jerry told me I could enter the seminary. He will look for a benefactor that will support me, in case you won’t agree.’ He said.
He came back to his senses when his mom spoke.
“I don’t know what to say, Arjay. I know you are intelligent enough to know how I feel, son. You broke my heart for the second time around, you know that? I have accepted that my only son is entering the seminary because he wanted to be a priest, because he said that it was his calling… and now you are telling me that you are quitting? That you don’t want to continue it anymore just because you thought of it? Tell me you are kidding!” his mom said furiously while her tears are streaming down her face. He sighed.
“I am sorry for breaking your heart again, mom, I truly am… but I am not joking, mom. I am really quitting. I don’t know how to explain it with you, without hurting you, I just… I am really sorry, mom…” he regretfully said.
His mom stood up and went straight to the stairs. She entered their room and slammed the door behind her. He sighed. He and his father was left alone in the living room. His father took a seat and faced him. The old man cleared his throat. Arjay fixed his seat.
“Don’t worry about your mom, son, I got her. You just need to understand her right now. She was shocked, and so am I but you know I am always fine with whatever you wanted to do, well unless it’s illegal, you know I won’t tolerate it.” his father said jokingly to ease the tension. He smiled at his father.
“Thanks, dad.” He simply replied.
“So how did your rectors react when they found out you are quitting? And your friends? Were they okay with it?”
How should he answer his father? Jc knew his reason, well, they are best of friends, but he can’t tell his father. He cleared his throat.
“The rectors are sad with the news but they did not try stop me. They said I can always come back whenever I change my mind because it always happens. They encourage me to live my life outside as if tomorrow never comes, that way, I could think things through.”
“And Jc?” his father asked again.
“Jc’s very supportive of me. He’s like a brother to me. Whatever I do, he had always got my back.” He said. His father nodded.
“Then, what are your plans now that you are officially leaving the seminary?”
“I’ll take the Civil Service SubProfessional Examinations first, and then maybe, try to learn how things work in the school, perhaps?”
His father smiled. He knows how to please the man.
“That’s great! It’s good that you already had plans to take over the school. I and your mother, we’re not getting any younger, so we really need your aid on that matter, son. It’s great! What a relief.” His father smiled and stood up. The old man went to him and tapped his shoulder. He smiled at his father. “It’s a good talk son, but I need to go first. Your mother needs someone to talk to, but don’t worry about her, she’ll be fine. She just needs someone to vent out her frustration. Good night son.” His father said.
“Thanks, dad. Good night.” He said. The old man went upstairs and he was left all alone in the living room.
“How did it go?” Lucille asked her husband. She fixed herself and seated, her back rested on the headrest.
“He had plans already, I guess he really think it through.” Ferdinand Sr. said. He laid beside his wife on the bed.
“Like he did, 7 years ago? He was so certain then, too, Ferdie! Why are you taking this so lightly? I can’t believe you!” Lucille put her hand on her forehead and massaged it lightly. Her husband seated and faced her. He held her available hand and rubbed it.
“He was young then, Lu. He was easily influenced by what he sees. But now, he’s older and I believe he already knows his priorities. Give your son a chance to evaluate his decisions. We were young once, too, hon, and we were uncertain then, but look at us, now. We succeeded, and we are happy. Let him find his real happiness.” He said calmly and kissed his wife on her cheeks. He laid back to bed.
“I just wished he realized it sooner.” She sighed. Ferdie looked at his wife, utterly confused.
“Wait, what?” he asked, sitting up and facing her.
“I said, I wished he realized that he doesn’t want to continue as soon as he graduated his degree in philosophy. Then we could have had a grandchild.” She sighed. Ferdie laughed at his wife’s thoughts.
“And yet here I am thinking you are upset because he doesn’t want to continue in priesthood! Silly me.” He exclaimed. Lucille looked at him in disbelief.
“Of course, I am upset he didn’t continue priesthood! But I am more upset to the fact that if he had realized it sooner, there could be little kids running around the house.” She said frowning. Ferdie laughed and hugged her wife.
“You could have just said that a while ago. Saves the drama.” He said. Lucille pushed him.
“So you are saying I am a drama queen now? Don’t I have the right to show what I truly feel?” she said angrily.
“Now, now. Don’t get me wrong, okay? Let’s just sleep now and let’s talk tomorrow, okay? Good night, hon.” he said and kissed his wife. They both laid back to bed.
Arjay was still sitting in the couch, thinking hard. He can’t hide the reason of his quitting the seminary forever. He needs perfect timing, courage, and most of all, he needs to find the real reason why he quitted. Because, if he can’t, then what’s the point of all this?