“Sailor, quickly pack your things. We need to leave now” Nagmamadaling sabi ni Mama sa akin habang bitbit ang isang malaking bag na malamang ay naglalaman ng mga damit na kakailanganin naming sa mga araw na mananatili kami sa probinsiya kung nasaan si Grandma.
Binilisan ko ang pagtiklop ng mga damit na napagdesisyunan kong dalhin at ilang mga bagay na talagang kailangan. A picture diary caught my attention when I opened the lower cabin of my cabinet. It was a thin diary that contains both me and my Grandma’s picture when I was still young.
Ang rason kung bakit namin kailangang umalis ngayon sa Manila ay dahil kay Grandma. Grandma is staying at her house while being accompanied by our family’s doctor after her health suddenly deteriorated overnight due to her old age. Ayon sa doctor, hindi na raw kakayanin ni Grandma na bumalik pa sa dati niyang lakas which is to say, It’s our chance to say goodbye habang kaya niya pa.
Dali-dali kong siniksik ang diary sa aking laguage nang biglang sumilip si Mama. “Are you done yet?” Tumango ako bilang sagot. Binuhat ko ang aking bag palabas at nadatnan ang itim na sasakyan, Dad was also outside waiting for me and my mom. Iniabot namin ang laguage sa kanya at pumasok sa loob.
Nang maiayos ko ang sarili sa backseat, I quickly look at my mother and gave her a look. “Is Dad okay? He barely had any sleep. Kakagaling lang niya sa trabaho” I worriedly ask Mother and she sighed.
“I urged him earlier na mamaya nalang tayo bumyahe at magpahinga muna siya” I looked back to where my father was standing, fixing our laguage. “But you know your dad, he’s stubborn and doesn’t listen to me”
I silently agree with what Mama has said. “Hayaan nalang natin, It’s not the time to oppose him, he’s also worried about your grandma”
I nod my head and the door of the car opened. Dad quietly sat on the driver’s seat and started the engine. Pinagmasdan ko siya sa salamin, and I noticed his slightly red eyes. He must have cried earlier.
Siguro ay napansin niya ang mga tingin ko. Isang tipid na ngiti ang kanyang binigay
“I’m fine, Sailor. You should sleep, gabi na at mahaba pa ang byahe”
I smiled and did not answer anymore. I knew he wanted to avoid the conversation by saying he was fine. I leaned toward the window, watching the scene fades as we passed by. Life is like this, while we continue to move forward on our own journey, some are left by and will fade away by time.
I don’t know when I started to fell asleep pero isang mahinang tapik ang gumising sa akin.
“Nandito na tayo” Sinilip ko ang labas ng bintana at nakita ang papasikat nang araw sa likod ng malaking lumang mansion. Ang bahay ni Grandma. Halatang matagal na itong pinatayo pero nanatili pa rin ang ganda nito. Mula sa malawak na patio nito, ang magandang hardin at ang fountain na may lumang statue ng babaeng nakatayo habang lumalabas ang tubig sa kanyang nakasilop na mga palad. It looks ancient.
Pagkapasok namin sa loob ng mansion ang una naming ginawa ay ang magtungo sa pinakadulong kwarto sa unang palapag ng bahay kung nasaan kasalukuyang nagpapahinga si Grandma.
Sa bungad ng pinto ay ang doctor at nurses na nagmomonitor sa kalagayan ni Grandma. I’m a little far from them so I can only see father and mother talking with the doctor. They must have been talking about Grandma’s current condition.
Sumenyas ang doctor pagkatapos niyang kausapin ang mga magulang ko, which we followed and entered the room.
I walked slowly and when I entered the room I saw monitors supporting Grandma’s body while she’s sleeping. The medical staff left us alone inside to give us privacy. The moment they left my mother started crying along with my father.
I rarely see my father cry. I actually never saw him cry before, this was the first time. He always looks so strong, that’s when I realized that even the strongest we know could break down because of someone they love. Tinignan ko ang kalagayan ni Grandma. The last time I saw her was when I was 10 years old, it’s been 9 years. In my memory, she was willful, youthful, and not like this. Why does time have to fly like this?
I couldn’t bear to look at her, pakiramdam ko ay maiiyak ako ano mang oras. “Grandma nandito na ako, namiss kita pero bakit ganito?”
We settled at the mansion, I don’t know how long we’ll stay here. There are a lot of uncertainties as Grandma’s condition is not yet stable and could go worse at any moment.
Ate Sales, Grandma’s housekeeper, assigned us to our room. My Parents both stayed on the first floor while I stayed upstairs as there were no rooms for me below. They told me to fix my luggage first and take a nap.
But I couldn’t as I have fallen asleep during the car ride. Instead of sleeping, I strolled inside the second floor of the mansion. Una kong pinuntahan ay ang pinto sa pinakadulo which is the library.
I remember playing and falling asleep here while Grandma would read me books. Most of the books she would read me before were about pirates. Grandma told me before that she and Grandpa like pirates, they even have miniatures of ships and lots of paintings related to them here in the library.
I couldn’t remember anything about Grandpa but Grandma would always include him in her stories that’s why I feel like I’ve known him. Kumuha ako ng isang libro mula sa shelf at napagdesisyunang basahin ito.
Umupo ako sa lamesa na nasa gitna. I flipped the book to find the title but I couldn’t see one. Baka nasa loob, some books are like that. But there really wasn’t a title when I opened the first page. When I flipped the second one, There was only chapter 1 and no other words were written.
“Nascam ba si Grandma nung binili niya ‘to?” I closed the book and decided to put it back to where it belong. Matapos ay bumalik nalang ako sa loob ng aking kwarto para magpahinga, pinilit kong makatulog pero hindi talaga ako makatulog.
That’s when I decided to open the diary I brought with me. As I was flipping through the pages, napapangiti ako, sobrang cute namin ni Grandma sa mga larawan na ‘to. Ang saya naming tignan.
I was at the last page when something caught my attention. On the last page, there was only one picture. It was a picture of me carrying a miniature ship, dressed in a baggy brown dress with a red scarf tied on my forehead like a pirate. I was standing at the wide stair riser of the mansion and behind me was a painting of a ship cruising in the middle of the wild sea.
If someone would look at this picture they would say, it’s just a normal picture but it wasn’t for me.
I wasn’t smiling in the picture and I’m sideways looking at the painting, this was the only picture in this photo diary where I wasn’t smiling, then I remember that feeling I had when I was young.
When this picture was taken, I wasn’t smiling because I was scared yet amuse at the same time.
Why? Because the young me thought and felt that time that the painting was alive and it wants to take me.