On Tuesday of that week was segun’s birthday. He invited as many girls as he could, and the invited girls invited their own friends….even girls that were never invited made their ways into the party. Looking at the crowd, the population of girls to boys should be 8 ratio 2.
At some point, one would think, we were having girls gathering…
The party was so full of fun. It was his 19th birthday; he made it so special because to him, he said he was preparing to leave the “teen’s age” for good. Surprisingly, most of the girls that came for the party were between 13 and 18; some looked bigger than their ages.
Now there was this girl I was crushing on. Her name was Bethany. He was another beautiful shy girl I ever know. People said, they’ve never seen her with any guy. So I decided to shoot my shot.
“At least, she should still be a virgin” I thought.
Since I got to the party, I was looking for her everywhere…
Luckily I found her sitting alone…so I approached her
Me: hey
Bethany: hey
Me: can I sit with you?
Bethany: yeah sure… the seat is for everyone
Me: *smiled* yeah, I know. How are you?
Bethany: I’m fine…thanks for asking.
Me: sooooo….why are you not, you know, enjoying the party?
Bethany: I am. I’m waiting for my friend.
Me: you mean your boyfriend?
Bethany: girlfriend actually!
Me: oh, is she here too
Bethany: yeah… she went to get another drink for us
Me: okay… I’m Derra.
Bethany: yeah I know.
Me: *surprised* you do? Wow! I guess I must be famous than I thought.
Bethany: don’t feel fly…
Our chat was getting fun and I think she was liking my style already… but it was interrupted. Her girlfriend; Toyo ruined everything. She saw us and got angry….
Toyo: Bethany? How many times will I tell you to stop talking to boys?
Bethany: Toyobaby, I’m sorry. He seems nice
Toyo: nice or no nice… don’t!
Me: hay… girl, watch it. There aren’t no boy here…I’m a guy
Toyo: mtcheewwww
Bethany: Derra, I’m sorry, I have to go now.
Me: no way. You came to have fun here. No one should ruin that for you.
Toyo: *laughed* Bethany, tell him who I am
Me: no need. I already know. You are just a manner less teenage girl from a forsaken home
“Kpaarrr” I got a slap from Bethany.
Bethany: how dare you talk to my girlfriend that way?
Toyo: good girl… that’s why I love you.
I was dumbfounded. I turned too looked at Bethany …..She was kissing Toyo already.
I got irritated.
Toyo: she’s my love… go look for someone else.
They both left the seat…
I was still shocked at what happened. My crush was a lesbian. No wonder, she has never been seen with any guy.
Regina saw what happened, so she became to me…
Me: did you see that?
Regina: yeah… sorry about that.
Me: damn
Regina: lesbians are jealous lover.
Me: are those kids not underage?
Regina: the one you were talking to is 16…I’m not sure about the other girl.
Me: 16? God.
Regina: you know what, her parents are wealthy.
Me: really? And she chose to be a lesbian?
Regina: I guess, that how God made her.
Me: hell no, God won’t create such abomination
Regina: so who do we blame now?
Me: not sure! But it may have to do with a regret of being with a guy.
Finding out that my one crush I was able to approach, for the first time, happened to be a lesbian….. I wasn’t so happy.
Regina: are you going to just sit down here feeling moody? C’mon, this is a party, enjoy yourself while it last.
Me: I will! Not just in the mood right now.
Regina: okay… I’ve gat party to attend to…see you later
Me: so you will just leave me here?
Regina: huh? You want to be here nah
Me: *smiled* yeah. Enjoy yourself.
Regina left me to dance… Segun was busy attending to lot of things, so he wasn’t really in touch throughout the party.
Later, I went outside to get some air…. Fortunately, Bethany was outside too. So I went to meet….
Me: hey
Bethany: you again?
Me: yeah….it’s me again!
Bethany: I’m sorry about what happened back there.
Me: don’t be. I overstepped my boundary.
Bethany: maybe… but I shouldn’t have slapped you. I know it’s embarrassing.
Me: yeah it was! But it’s gone.
Bethany: forgive me!
Me: yeah! So what are you doing outside alone?
Bethany: receiving fresh air!
Me: *smiled* wow, that’s what brought me out and to cool my head. Where is your “girlfriend”?
Bethany: inside, I guess!
Me: uhmm, you’re not sure? I thought you two are love birds
Bethany: yeah! But…
Me: you are tired of the whole thing?
Bethany: what thing?
Me: the thing between you and her!
Bethany: what thing exactly?
Me: the thing! I mean, you and her, you know, dating! Sort of!
Bethany: *frowned* how do you know?
Me: you just said, you are not sure of where the girl you defended is.
Bethany: *shrugged*
Me: may I ask you some questions, please?
Bethany: yeah, sure!
Me: hope you won’t get upset… it may be snoopy!
Bethany: try me!
Me: why her?
Bethany: what?
Me: I mean, why do you choose to be a lesbian? Girl and girl stuffs.
Bethany: *quiet*
Me: I’m sorry to ask but I may be a bit curious to know why a beautiful girl like you will choose to date a girl like you. Not even to mention, at your age!
Bethany: like you care? You are just another guy who wants to take advantage of me.
Me: hell No! My intentions are pure! I swear, I mean you no harm.
Bethany: that’s what you all say.
Me: I don’t know the experiences you had in the past but we guys are never the same.
Bethany: dhurr
Me: try me!
She seemed ashamed to tell me her story. She wasn’t sure, how I would react to it but I was so eager and I made her believe I could be trusted.
Bethany: there was this guy I met in my junior school class. He was my classmate and my best friend’s seat mate. He told me, he loved me and he wanted us to date.
Wait…did she just said, “a guy?” I guess, she meant a small boy. “Jss” and she was taking about dating already. What in God’s name do a JSS student know about dating? Who on earth told them about dating?
Me: hold on a second! When was that?
Bethany: two years ago.
Me: and you were?
Bethany: 14!
Me: *swallowed spit* so what happened?
Bethany: I agreed to his offer. We started dating?
Me: hmm… sorry to interrupt. What exactly were you two doing when you were “dating?”
Bethany: seriously?
Me: I’m sorry! I just need to know what you see dating as.
Bethany: well, we talk often. We share our food and do homework together.
Me: in your house or his?
Bethany: at school! After school, we will do our homework together before my mum come around to pick me
Me: okay!
Bethany: one day, I saw him with another girl.
Me: another girl?
Bethany: she was Amanda! I saw them holding hands and were playing.
I almost exploded out of laughter…but I held myself.
Me: and you became jealous?
Bethany: yes! He told me, I was not beautiful enough
Me: huh? He said that?
Bethany: yeah! Someone I gave my pocket money to, every day.
Me: sorry about that! But that doesn’t explain why you chose girls!
Bethany: my aunty was raped on her way back from work by 3 men! Weeks later, she committed suicide.
Me: aahhhh….she took her life? Why would she do that?
Bethany: the same guys, shared the video all over the internet.
Me: *remorse* I’m so sorry.
Bethany: don’t be! Boys will always be boys! Your boys are evil. You take advantage of girl’s emotions and love. You boys use us and then dumped us like we are piece of junk.
I noticed how angry she was getting, the more she talks.
Me: it’s okay…. I get it now!
Bethany: no you don’t! I told myself, never will I have anything to do with boys, when it comes to emotions.
Me: uhmm… this is so depressing! I’m sorry, you had to witness all that but it doesn’t mean, boys are the same.
Bethany: my girlfriend. Toyo, had the same thing…so we both hated boys for it.
Me: I’m sorry! Truly I am! But you seemed to be tired of it now, why?
Bethany: I have to go now!
Me: wait... we are not done
Bethany: I am! Bye! I have to be at home now, before my parents comes back.
She left…
I felt so sorry for her. Not the dating part though but the rape of her Aunty that led to her death. I understand how bad she must have felt. And for that, I promised I was going to make her my friend and help reformate her corrupted mind by all means necessary.
I started stalking her to know everything about her; where she stays, who her parents are, her other friends. Already, when it comes to stalking a girl, I suck at it…. I’m never good at it. Regina has always been my spy but this time, I said, I was going to do this myself.
Indeed, her parents are rich people; her dad is an army commandant and her mum happens to be a well-known medical doctor. She is the only daughter and child of her parents. Her mum is always busy…. always at the hospital and her dad only comes home twice in a month.
She was always at home alone….though, her parents provided with everything she asked for; laptop, phone, tablet, unlimited data, name them…. Her fridge was full with all shades of cookies, chocolates, ice cream…..
When the boredom gets unbearable, she invite her girlfriend, Toyo. I guess, that was where it all started.
I was so desperate in her redemption and I determined to save her.
So one Sunday, I went to her house. Luckily, I meant her mum at home…
Me: *knocked*
She opened the door, “hello”
Me: hello…good afternoon
Her mum: good afternoon, how may I help you?
Me: eehm…. My name is Derra…. I-i- am a friend.
Her mum: a friend?
Me: yeah…. Bethany’s!
Her mum: ohh… you are!?
Me: yeah
Her mum: she never mentioned you
Me: ahhmm….well, that’s because, we just became friends.
Her mum: really? What kind of friend?
Me: ma, trust me, we are cool… we are just friends.
Her mum: that makes me wonder, why Bethany will choose to be friend with someone as old as you are.
Me: well, let just say, I’m her big brother. And I care so much for her. Besides, I’m just 20.
Her mum: awwwnn… so nice of you. Come in.
I was welcomed in. Her house is very beautiful and huge. I saw photos of her dad in uniform, hanging on the wall of the sitting room.
Her mum: please sit down…..I’ll go call her
Me: alright ma.
She quickly went to her room to call her…
Bethany was surprised to see me.
Me: hi
Bethany: what-what are you doing here?
Me: I came to see you
Bethany: me? Why?
Me: common, sit! Let’s talk.
Bethany: *sat down* about what?
Me: about you.
Bethany: me? What happened to me?
Her mum went to her room to stay. One may wonder, why she would leave a total stranger with her daughter alone in the sitting room.
That didn’t come to my mind….
Me: Bethany, I like you.
Bethany: *smiled* okay.
Me: I like you so much and I really want us to be friends.
Bethany: wow… now this is bravery. I mean, you just showed up in my house to tell me, you like me? Plus my mum is around
Me: would you have preferred I come when your mum is not at home? Won’t you think, I had some evil plans?
Bethany: I don’t know.
Me: besides, I wasn’t talking about that kind of like you are thinking. Just like.
Bethany: why?
Me: well, I find you interesting and nice.
Bethany: you don’t even know me
Me: I think I do. See…I know, you are tired of being alone and bored every day. You may have everything to keep you company but you need people.
Bethany: I know! I have my mum, my Dad and Toyo.
Me: I know! But your mum is always busy, your Dad, I don’t know ….Toyo is not a good influence for you, trust me.
Bethany: don’t say that about my friend. She’s my best friend.
Me: no…she’s not!
Bethany: I won’t have you come here to say ill things about my girlfriend.
Me: fine! I’m sorry!
I reach for my bag and brought out my chess board…
Bethany: what’s that?
Me: a chessboard!
Bethany: wow….. Can you teach me?
Me: yeah!
Bethany: I’ve always wanted to learn how to play chess. I’ve started learning it in my laptop but I don’t understand some moves.
Me: I can be your teacher if your mum won’t mind.
Her mum came out to meet us….she was clapping her hands as she was approaching us.
Bethany: mum, why…..are you….clapping?
Her mum: wow…. Finally, you’ve seen something that interest you. I’m happy.
Me: *smiled*
Bethany: but mum, I play keyboard and guitar too.
Me: wow….you do? You love music?
Bethany: I’m music!
Me: fabulous! You know, I sing too. I love music.
Honestly, I was lying. I love music but I don’t sing. I was only trying to fit in.
Her mum: what’s that name again?
Me: Derra
Her mum: oh yeah… I thought you are a bad person… I was listening to your conversations and I was expecting you to say some naughty words to her which of course, I will have the police arrest you immediately.
Me: whoa…. Am I in trouble?
Her mum: but you proved me wrong.
Me: *relieved* thank God.
Her mum: how about you become her chess coach and music teacher?
Me: for real?
Her mum: yeah!
Me: yes ma. Yesssss.
Bethany: thank you mum.
Her mum: whoever that Toyo is, I don’t want her near you anymore.
Bethany: but mum….she’s my friend.
Her mum: you heard what he said….she’s a bad influence.
So she left to get ready. She was supposed to be at the hospital. Then, I began looking around to find where the cameras were but I didn’t see any. And I didn’t want to ask Bethany about it, cos it seems she doesn’t even know, there were cameras in her house.
I became Bethany chess Coach and music teacher.
I went back home to break the good news to my friends….
Regina: where have you been?
Me: to see someone!
Regina: *curious* who?
Me: someone!
Regina: are you hiding things from me?
Me: nooo… I won’t do that.
Regina: so who was it?
Me: c’mon Regina…I went to see Bethany. The girl at segun’s party.
Regina: is that what you cannot say since..?
Me: *smiled* sorry.
I didn’t noticed there was a girl in the house…
The girl: hi Derra Love
Me: *surprised* hey......sorry I didn’t see you. I’m fine.
I looked at Regina to do the introduction…
Regina: Derra meet Emilia and Emilia, Derra.
Me: hello Emy… how are you?
Emilia: I’m fine and you?
Me: I’m fine thank you.
Regina: ehm, Derra, Emilia here says she likes you.
Emilia: love actually.
Me: wow! You do?
Emilia: yeah
Regina: you two can hang out together.
Me: yeah sure!
Can you imagine? A girl expressed her feelings towards a guy. So unbelievable. I mean, where in the world you will see a girl approach a guy and tell him how she feels about him. It’s always the guy doing the chasing.
I was surprised and was cool with it….it shows I am cute enough to be admired for real.
I didn’t want to look like I was forming for her or maybe my pride was bigger than her…. So I agreed to date her, just to make her happy….after all, I’ve always wanted a girlfriend.
She hugged and kissed me before leaving the house…
Emilia: thank you darling
Me: uhm. Thank you too sweetheart.
Regina: awwwnnn….. I love this.
Emilia: bye Regina.
Regina: bye Emy.
After she left, I hijacked Regina like I was carrying a carton of coco pops on my shoulder.
Regina: *shouting* leave me o…..leave me o
Me: shey, you want embarrass me…..i will disgrace you first.
Regina: ahhh what did I do?
Me: you are now bringing babes for me abi? Shey you want me to be a womanizer?
Regina: put me down….put me down! I’ll bite your ear o.
Me: bite Nah.
I sparked her butt continuously….
Regina: ahh, you are slapping my bums…. I will hit you on your balls if I get down.
Me: that will be after I baptized you inside the gutter.
Regina: *screaming* eeehh please o. somebody help.
Me: nobody is helping you o.
Regina: if you don’t drop me now… I’ll unbestie you.
Me: fine! But prepare for you burial….I’ll kill u throway.
I told her of my new job as Bethany coach and teacher….
Regina: you really liked that girl o.
Me: maybe!
Regina: don’t forget you have a date with Emilia.
Me: *laughed* the last time, you fixed a date for me. You know it didn’t go well.
Regina: that was a blind date….i can assure you this one is mueh.
Me: I trust you sha.
Speaking of my blind date….
That was when I was so desperate in having a girlfriend…so desperate!
She hooked me up with a girl; we both do not know her. She posted my picture on her twitter account with the caption “he needs a date”.
A girl, Alicia, showed interest and replied her in her dm “I’m in”.
They both agreed on the venue and time….. I remembered asking her to show me her photo but the girl used Cardi B’s picture!
I imagined her to be lil-cardi B. so I didn’t bother finding out who I was going to meet. Regina gave me her number and I called her…..she sounds good; she has this babyish voice. I love girls with such voices.
I got to the restaurant where we were supposed to meet cos I promised to buy her lunch. When I got there, I texted her “where are you, I’m in already”
She texted back “are you the guy on blue shirt?”
Me: *texting* yes….where are you?
She: *texting* turn around, I’m putting on a red top and blue jeans….pls hurry up and save me from the guy talking to me”
Me: *texting* okay…. I see you.
Damn… the lady I saw wearing a red top and a blue jeans was talking to a man; and he seems to be a bad guy…. I could see tattoo on his arm and he has this crazy dreadlock and was smoking shisha…
I was a bit scared but I approached her anyway….
Me: *to the guy* hey bro, what’s up? Please, I need to borrow her now!
The guy: what?
Me: I said, I need to borrow her now!
The lady: are you alright?
The guy: whoa you want to borrow my woman?
Me: well, that would be unfair to call her your woman……cos I arranged to meet her here today. And she’s my date.
The guy got angry and hooked me on my shirt…
“you dey craze?’”
Me: bro…. it’s not about muscle o. I will beat the hell out of you.
The lady became confused too “babe, leave him… he’s drunk”
Me: drunk? I just got in here! Don’t worry baby, I’ll save you.
The guy: do you know who I am?
Me: I know! You just a freaky old-rugged forsaken dog who has no date and wants to steal mine.
We almost turned the restaurant to a fighting ring… the next thing I heard was ….
“Whoa… are you Derra?”
Me; yeah….
“I’m Alicia, you got the wrong person”
Me: what?
Alicia: *laughing*
Me: is this funny? You made embarrassed someone?
Alicia: *laughing* that was funny… I mean, you are ready to fight for someone you do not even know. Wow…that’s so awesome.
I became so ashamed….
Me; bro, I’m sorry
The guy: get the fuck out of here.
Me: I’m sorry. It was a mistake.
Alicia was not even wearing any of those dresses she mentioned…. She’s was putting on jeans knickers and black polo with a white sneakers.
Me: *to Alicia* avoid me o.
Alicia: I’m sorry.
Me: you are a psycho.
That was one of the days I will never forget. The guy ambushed me and beat the Mumu out of me for embarrassing him in front of his girlfriend.