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Chapter 1
Have u ever experience being a trash?
Hated by people and not knowing what's the reason why they hate you.
Also being bullied by your schoolmates even though I didn't do anything wrong to them, they spread a false rumors about me so many students distance to me dahil ayaw nilang mahawaan sakin
Well I have experience that kind of sh*t everywhere, my only peace is dark
And that is started to my anxiety, no one knows about that except for my family dahil basura ang tingin nila sakin
My sister is happy when she see me being hurt because I don't wanna fight to a stupid people but I still got hurt when they deny me, saying I'm not a part of a family
I just sigh, sumasakit ulo ko kapag nag isip ako na mamasakit na ala-ala
By the way nasa hallway ako, kakarating kulang sa school andaming students
While naglalakad ako habang nakayuko gumilid ako kasi alam ko may paparating pero sumunod
Gusto atang mabangga tsk hinarap ko sya and to my surprise it was my lovely ex staring me coldly
Umiwas nalang ako to avoid those crazy of him
"That trash again desperada talaga"
"Tigilan mo ngaaa sya" sigaw ng iba
'Don't listen to them, just be a trash'
Sabi ng utak ko
Haist napapagod din kaya ako sa sinasabi nila nakakasawa
Pero mas masakit ang mga salita binibitawan ng mga magulang ko
I'm such a mess
"Where are u going?" He ask but di ko sya pinansin bigla akong hinablot
"Arayy nasasaktan ako" naiiyak kung sabi
"Who told u to disrespect me" Diin nyang sabi
"Hindi Naman kita inaano dyan" inis kung sabi dahil mahigpit ang paghawak nya sakin
"Zyreena ano naman ito" ohh andito din pala ang mga sweet brothers ko
*sarcastic*
"You sl*t nilalandi mo naman si Haxe" tsk tsk after me kapatid ko Naman ang jinowa nya what a jerk
And then she slap me natabingi naman ang mukha ko gusto Kong umiyak sa sakit pero pinigilan ko
"Just let me go" mahina Kung sabi Kay haxe binitawan nya ako at lumapit stupid sakin at bumulong
"Wag kang lalapit sakanya ulit trash" sabi nya at lumayo sya sakin umalis nalang ako
Haist kailan kaya nila ako titigilan siguro kung mamatay na ako
Pumunta ako sa likod ng building which is Hindi ako makikita dito ayaw kong pumasok nakakawalang gana late din naman ako baka maparusahan lang ako
Ng makaabot na ako sa building madilim dito napaluhod nalang ako bigla at diko namalayan na tumutulo na pala ang luha ko
"Damn damn damm" umiiyak kung sambit habang sinusuntok ang semento
And my anxiety now is attacking di ako makahinga ng maayos sinuntok ko ang dibdib ko at
Hinanap ko yong plastic sa bag at dali dali ko itong inilapit sa bungaga at humihingal hingal napaiyak nalang ako ulit
When they gonna love me, I'm tired of this kind sh*t living like this, is like a hell
If I was born just to hurt me f*ck them, napaupo ako sa gilid at napasandal
Lumalayo na nga ako sakanila pero sila ang lumalapit sakin is this kind of torture?
If that is, I don't want anymore I'm tired
Tired to understand them huh
'Sssshhh stop crying idiot'
'Sssshhh stop crying idiot'
Biglang sabi ng utak ko
Wtf! I'm hallucinating again
'Tsk tsk your not, I'm behalf of you'
Behalf of me? What kind of shitness is that
'Hey is not shitness let me explain to you'
I don't want to listen
Nabigla nalang ako ng kinurot ko sarili ko
"Awww what was that" masakit yon ah
'Listen first Or I will pinch you again' irita nitong sabi sa utak ko
Fine!
'Me is your part of your brain, I am behalf of your brain, I can read your thoughts but not your heart'
"So you can control me?"
'Yes, I can control you but not your feelings '
Ohhhh pwede bang umalis kana sa utak ko
'Nope I can't, I am part of you, let me help you'
How?
'You want to revenge?'
No, it's not on my volcunary
'Psshh then be real trash so that they don't disappointed to you that your not a trash'
So that they don't disappointed to you that your not a trash
So they don't disappointed to you that your not a trash
Ilang ulit nag play sa utak ko
I won't
'Why?'
Because I'm not a trash but I'm used to it
'Pshh whatever, they continue abusing you but just let them be'
Huh you said you help me
'Then follow my instruction and also let's be friends ako lang ang karamay mo'
That's right but just let me think about it
Also I'm scared
'Don't be I'll teach you what's real being a trash'
How?
'Let me control tomorrow'
No!!! I won't sabihin mo nalang sakin
'Tsk is not easy and I'm lazy to explain to you'
Grabi tatamarin din pala ang utak
'I hear that tsk'
Sorry, iisipin ko muna
'Take your time'
Nabigla ako ng nagbell na
It's a lunch time na luhh bat diko namalayan siguro pakikipag usap sa isip ko
Haist humiga nalang ako at iniunan ang bag
I won't go there in the cafeteria kasi ayaw ko makasalamuha ang mga studyante since umatake ang anxiety ko
Pumikit ako dahil wala akong tamang tulog since may party kagabi sa bahay pero di ako kasali dahil ayaw daw nila ako
Di ko namalayan na nakatulog ako
Everything went black~