CHAPTER 7
IT'S MONDAY IN THE MORNING, Matthew was having a hard time to focus on his class because his mind was keep on thinking about his neighbor.
Maaga siyang nagising kanina. He's stretching on his mini balcony which he always do every morning bago bumaba para kumain o magluto.
He was focused not until his neighbor stood in front of him –his mini balcony was near his neighbor's mini balcony.
"Good morning" Calix greeted him.
But he didn't respond. Now he can't focus anymore, Calix didn't wear any clothes, just a piece of towel na nakatapis sa pangibabang katawan ng binata.
And now he's in his first class in the morning and his mind keeps on thinking of his neighbor. Those abs, the chest, Calix's neck. And he even eye drops on the part that has a piece of towel! And that's a crime!! Para siyang manyakis na binubusuhan ang kapit bahay niya.
After that scene para na siyang wala sa sarili, thanks to his freaking hot neighbor.
Seven-thirty ng umaga nang pumasok ang instructor nila. The subject they have is Gender and Society one of his favorite subject pero hindi talaga siya makapag-focus.
All he heard earlier is the "Good morning everyone, today we are going to continue discussing about the LGBTQ, Nung nakaraan pinag aralan natin ang tungkol sa mga rights nila tama?"
All the students response "Yes, Sir"
Then the instructor continue "Right. Ngayon gusto kong malaman mga thoughts niyo about them. Dito ko malalaman kung sino 'yong mga agree at disagree sa same sex relationship."
The instructor smiled and clasped his hands "I'm excited!"
Obviously, the instructor is excited. Hindi nawala ang ngiti nito sa mga labi.
May mga sinabi muna ang instructor. May inilesson pa.
Discuss
Discuss
Discuss
Matthew shook his head as he tried to give his attention to the lecture.
The discussion finished and now it's time for the questions.
"My first question is, " itinuon ng instructor ang dalawang kama sa lamesa at tumingin sa mga estudyante.
The instructor smiled. In the instructor's mind he's happy because his students look calm and didn't even bother if he asked several questions.
"Nandidiri ba kayo everytime may nakikita kayong same sex couple na sweet sa isa't isa? Yes or no lang"
The instructor nodded his head "who's answer is Yes, raised your hand"
May ilang nag taas, Matthew surveyed who will raise their hands.
The instructor held his chin "Who's answer is no?"
Mas maraming nag-no ang answer, and of course he's one of those.
"Para sa mga Yes ang sagot, bakit?"
The instructor sat on his chair while someone volunteered to answer his questions.
Then one of his blockmates stood with confidence "Well, I answered Yes because it really looks disgusting. They are supposed to be with someone who's the same gender as them."
Inaasahan na niyang sasagot ang lalaking 'yon.
It's James Cruz, known as the most homophobic on their campus. Marami na ang galit sa lalaking 'yon but no one tried to do something bad to him, his family is one of those powerful families in the world. He can do revenge anytime he wants.
The good thing about him is he didn't bully anyone. As long as you don't do something inappropriate to him, you'll live, you're safe.
After James answered the question, the instructor called someone from those students who said no.
"For me sir, hindi naman sila nakakadiri. Siguro para sa iba nakakadiri dahil hindi sila sanay sa gano'ng klase ng relasyon. Masyado silang nasanay na ang babae ay para sa lalaki at ang lalaki ay para sa babae"
May point s'ya.
May mga nagbigay pa ng opinion at karamihan ay “no” ang sagot.
Their instructor nodded "Okay. Sino pa gustong sumagot?"
No one raised their hand so the instructor called someone to answer.
"How about you Mr. Dela Cruz" anito "What can you say about Same sex marriage or Same sex relationship? Is it okay with you? Or not?"
He looked at Liam first before he stood up. He felt nervous pero taas noong tumayo at sumagot "Well, for me po it's okay naman. I accept them, kasi para sa'kin po, they're still human or persons who deserve to be loved, to be appreciated, and to be accepted but nowadays lots of people think that they are manipulated. Well maybe it's true some of those gays manipulate someone that made other people thinks that they all like that. That thing made their group disgusting but we all know na hindi naman lahat. Maraming part ng LGBTQ+ ang mababait, hindi nagt-take advantage sa iba lalo na sa mga kalalakihan."
May sasabihin pa siya ngunit biglang tumayo ang isa niyang ka-klase at salita "Siguro nga ilan lang sa kanila ang ganun pero meron pa rin! Hindi ba nila naisip na mali 'yon? Na ang pangit tingnan?"
The last part of his sentence made Matthew feel irritated "Pangit tingnan sa'yo dahil hindi mo sila tanggap, pangit para sa'yo dahil isa kang homophobic! Why don't you try to look on the other side so that MAYBE you'll see that their relationship is not disgusting at all. That MAYBE just MAYBE you'll accept them"
Sa sagot niya lalo niyang pinagdiinan ang salita MAYBE
The other one stands again "I think Matthew is right. I mean they didn't do something that can hurt others feeling, they don't deserve the hate"
Matthew looked at Jem who just answered. He smiled softly. Jem is straight, they say.
Parang nagkaroon bigla ng debate sa pagitan ng nag no at yes.
Matthew noticed someone will stand again but their instructor told them to sit.
Nang tumayo ang instructor lahat ay natahimik "Not everyone is in favor of that kind of relationship. In this world hindi mawawala ang mga hindi pabor." The instructor glance at him before glance at everyone "We can't order someone to accept those people who's part of LGBTQ+ Community because we just want to. In every acceptance their a reason behind. And additionally, of course, in every hate there is also a reason behind and we don't know that and posible, what Mr. Dela Cruz said about manipulating someone can be one of those many reasons. Right?" The class nodded "So don't question why those people are hate that kind of relationship. If you think they are hurting those people who's part of LGBTQ+ Community, those who's not in pabor are hurting too and we don't we how. Hindi natin alam ang pinagdaraanan nila at syempre ganoon din ang mga involved sa same sex relationship." The instructor smiled "To make it short don't judge others through their attitude, or any because we don't know anything about them."
It's true. Maybe something good needs to happen –a good thing.
"Did you know class maraming bansa ang pabor sa same sex marriage or relationship, hindi sa kanila issue kung bakla ka or part ka ng LGBTQ+ community, they will accept you for who you are. They won't judge you that easily. Unlike here, in our country. Judging someone is their favorite thing to do." ani pa nito.
The ring bell.
"Good bye for now, Class. Let's see each other later, I want you all here before 1:00 pm, since mukha naman gusto ng debate then will have later. Be sure na lahat ah present okay?"
When they answered "yes" nag paalam na rin ito at lumabas ng classroom.
LUNCH BREAK they just talked about what topic and anything else. The
One pm came. Everybody is present.
"Good afternoon, Class. Are you ready for the debate?" The instructor asked after he sat comfortable on his chair
"Yes sir!" Everyone's answered.
The instructor stood in the middle "Here's the question. Do find same sex relationship disgusting"
"Sir paano ang grupuhan?" Liam asked
"Ganito. I'll divide you into two groups." the instructor pointed on the left side of the classroom "In this part ay 'yong nga sumagot ng Yes kanina" then he pointed the right side "Dito naman ang nag No"
Naglipatan ang lahat. At kung susuriin ay iilan lamang ang lamang ng mga nag-no.
Nagsimula na ang debate at ang mauunang magsalita ang Team Yes
"'Yong mga bakla katawan lang ang habol nila!" Panimula ni Eric kilala rin bilang isang homophobic, nandidiri s'ya sa mga bakla, ayaw n'yang makakakita ng mga ganun o makakasama.
"Hoyy hindi lahat ganun! Kami/Ako gusto mo rin maranasan kung paano mahalin at tanggapin gaya ni isang babae o lalaki!" Pikon na saad ni Edward
Tama naman s'ya hindi lahat ng bakla at ganun sadyang makitid lang ang utak n'ya para intindihin ang ibanh bakla.
"Kahit na nakakahiya?" Tanong ni Eric
"Walang nakakahiya doon, nakakahiya dahil may mga taong hindi kami tanggap! At kinakahiya kami!" Sagot ni Edward
Tahimik lang silang nakaupo ni Liam, at nag o-observe sa mga kaklase.
Liam and him like observing other than reacting.
"Tingin n'yo ba deserve nilang mahalin?" Tanong ng Instructor na lalong nagpaingay sa klase
"Yes sir, kahit bakla pa yan or what, deserve pa rin nila. Mas deserve nilang mahalin kesa pandirihan" anang ka-blockmate niyang babae
"Siguro parte ka sa kanila no?" Tanong ni Allan kaibigan s'ya ni James kaya na nagulat si Matthew na homophobic ito.
"Maybe some them are deserve" sagot ni James pagkatayo "Other people nowadays accept that kind of relationship because of other people's influence. Lalo na sa room na ito. Some of here are just pretending that they are not q homophobic pero pag nakatalikod sa mga bading o bi na kakilala lumalabas na ang tunay na ugali" James smirked like he was enjoying on the information he just dropped.
Biglang napaisip si Matthew kung may ganoon nga ba. But he think James is right. It easy to pretend lalo na kung sanay kana. Now he's curious who are those kaya naman pasimple niyang inilibot ang paningin sa mga ka-grupo.
"– siguro nga may mga pumapatol sa kanila but at the end of the day and ending pa rin kung lalaki ka, sa babae pa rin ang bagsak mo. Kung baga sumaya nga sa'yo, minahal ka nga, pero hahanap at hahanap yan ng babae na makakasama niyang bumuo ng pamilya." James shrugged and sat down.
Parang na off guard nito ang grupo na kasama niya.
Everyone became silent. It's actually a fact. But there's this thing called Surrogacy. If the couple (same sex) wants to have a child they can undergo surrogacy.
Liam stood and nodded "It's actually a fact. But looking around, there's this couple who's now a senior citizen. They are both guys, they have a child – an adopted child. The couple is happy. And just enjoy life even though society is getting mean."
If Matthew was not mistaken. Liam's pertaining to the couple who owned a restaurant. It's both guys. And just like what Liam said. The restaurant is famous, plus the owners are respectable.
James stand again "Why don't you open your eyes guys. Iilan lang ang nagtatagal sa ganoong relasyon at kung hindi ako nagkakamali dati pa ang relasyon nila. Ngayon wala ka ng aasahan na relasyon na magtatagal lalo ka kung same sex. People nowadays likes playing other people's feelings. After nilang makuha ang gusto, basta nalang nilang iiwan ang tao. Mga estupido."
The last word he said –he whispered it but he clearly heard it.
"Dahil lang bakla kami o parte ng LGBTQ+ community deserve na ba namin ang salitang binitawan mo? Tao kami James at hindi hayon. Maaaring may dahilan ka kung bakit ka galit na galit sa mga katulad ko pero kailangan bang araw-araw kaming makarinig ng masasalit na salita?" Jaden speak. "I'm a human and I'm a part of LGBTQ+ community and I do believe I deserve better. I may looked disgusting to you but don't know how hard for me to live in this rude society, you don't know or you don't have any idea what I, we felt."
Looking at Jaden made him feel pity. Jaden was about to cry. He felt offended by what James said. Maybe the stupid part.
Matthew can't take hearing the bad words anymore. He stood straight, the confidence, and being serious was visible in him "stupid, Let's admit it. We all become stupid when we fall in love, yes?" He asked and everyone nodded "Exactly. So what I'm trying to say is that whether we are part of that community or not, we all become stupid. Maybe we have a reason why we hate them and maybe that reason is too deep that you can't even say a nice or an appropriate words to say, but you think that reason would be enough for you to speak like you're pertaining to an animal?" Matthew asked, he was focused on James who now looked at him emotionless.
When James didn't bother to speak Matthew just shrugged and went back to his seat.
Everyone become silent. The debate become nothing. Some of the gays are offended at nawalan na ng gana pang ipagpatuloy ang debate.
"Okay, let's Stop the debate. Ayusin n'yo na ang mga upuan" anang instructor
Parang mga robot silang sumunod. Walang namutawing salita sa kanila, tanging tanog lang ng nagkakasalpukan na upuan ang maririnig.
Nanag ayos na ang upuan at maayos na rin silang naiaupo muling nagsalita ang instructor.
"Our class for this afternoon will be done. I will give you an activity na lang. You have all points regarding sa debate. James, maybe you have a reason but try to lessen your voice when we talk about that community. I don't know your reason, that's why you didn't hear anything from me but don't take this wrong okay, ayoko ko lang na may alitan sa pag-itan nyong mag ka-blockmates."
The instructor bid his goodbye after he gave the activities. It was easy. Liam and Matthew did it immediately and went outside to fetch their girl friends.
Hindi pa labasan ang mga kaibigan nila. Matthew went to cr at naiwan naman sa labas ng classroom nila Ella si Liam.
Inside the cr, the gays was their.
"Mattyyy!" Sambit ng isang bakla at bahagyang tumili
Jaden laughed "Thank you"
After saying that words to Matthew the gays went outside immediately including Jayden.
Matthew felt happy. He smiled. After peeing he goes back to where Liam is.
Labasan na rin ang 1A kaya naman gaya ng palaging routine nila they eat outside before going home.
Matthew saw Calix before they went inside their gate, and as usual his heart beat fast again. And that way Matthew's day is done.
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AN: Hello! good morning 😊 sorry for the late changes. busy pa ako e, isinisingit ko lang ang pag edit kapag may free time ako. maybe some of you asking kung bakit oarang hindi tugma ang bawat chapter, BINABAGO ko pa po kasi. 'yon lang! thank you 🤍 have a very wonderful day, twilights ✨
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CHAPTER 8
AFTER what happened last day, Matthew can't stop thinking about it. There's a lot of questions forming in his head like, why James’ acting like that? Maybe there's something happened but what is it? Curiosity running off to him but the frustrating thing is, he doesn't know how to it.
Early in the morning he woke up, while sipping on his coffee he sat down on his mini balcony. Minutes had passed the guy he wanted to see didn't show, hindi man lang lumabas ng balcon ang binata sa kabilang bahay.
Hindi alam ni Matthew kung bakit ba n'ya gustong makita ang binata pero lagi na lang niyang natatagpuan ang sarili na nakaupo sa may balcon.
He wants to him. He feels like there's something missing kapag n'ya ito nasisilayan, tulad na lang ngayon.
Naghahati sa isip sa dalawang tao, kay James at sa peste niyang kapit-bahay.
Naiinis siya dahil hindi man lang niya ito nakita kahit saglit lang. Ni anino ng binata ay hindi niya nakita kaya wala sa mood siyang pumasok.
It's already lunch time at nasa cafeteria silang magkakaibigan para kumain.
Matthew snd Liam sitting comfortably in the chair, as Matthew looked at the entrance his heart palpitate again because he saw the guy he really wants to see earlier.
At ngayon naglalakad ang binata patungo sa unahan para bumili ng sarili niyong pagkain.
Para robot si Matthew na sunod nang sunod ng tingin kay Calix. Maybe Calix felt him looking dahil bigla na lang itong lumingon sa pwesto n'ya.
Matthew acted like he was surprised just like what he saw on Calix face. Looks like Calix didn't expect na makikita siya nito sa loob ng kainan.
Matthew rolled his eyes to Calix na nagkanunot sa noo ng binata at badha sa mukha ang pagtataka. Matthew was irritated. Kanina pa n'ya gustong makita ang binata tapos ngayon lang lumabas sa lungga?
'bakit ba gusto mo syang makita?' anang bahagi sa kaniyang isip na nagpatigil sa kaniya.
"Bakit nga ba?" Mahinanh tanong ni Matthew sa sarili
"Bud, okay ka lang?" Ani Liam t bahagyang pinapik ang braso niya.
Instead of answering Liam's questions, Matthew just smile and nodded his head.
Matthew back at looking to Calix na mataman ding nakatingin sa kaniya.
The moment Calix realized that he has also looking Calix wink at him and smiled sweetly.
Matthew feel himself blushing. Nanginginit ang pinge nila at lalong bumilis ang puso n'ya.
Hindi na siya tumingin sa gawi nila Calix, ngunit minsan ay ramdam ni Matthew na may tumitingin sa kaniya and he have this feeling na si Calix 'yon.
Hanggat alam niyang nasa malapit lang si Calix hindi pa rin bumabalik sa rati ang tibok ng puso n'ya.
At the middle of their lunch Ella open the topic about the debate happened that also happened to them yesterday.
Bumalik na naman sa ala-ala niya si James at ang nakakainis nitong pag-uugali.
At gaya nang nangyari sa klasw nila kahapon marami-rami rin ang nandidiri sa block nila Ella, at uminit din ang eksena dahil sa halip na debate para sa grades halos naging away na dahil sa grabing sagutan. Kung hindi pa raw ito pinatigil ng instructor ay maaaring may mag-away na talaga.
Looking around Matthew didn't see anyone na same sex couple maybe they are afraid to be judged by someone or maybe low-key lang relationship nila or maybe wala talaga same sex couple sa campus nila.
Nowadays, society was so harsh. All they want is ruin someone else happiness. They didn't care kung anong mararamdaman ng mga ito basta magawa nila ang gusto nila wala na silang makialam sa iba.
Looks like its not about happiness anymore.
Matthew finish eating his food. Tumayo siya at pumunta sa gilid para bumili ng maiinom. While waiting for his mineral water he just stand there and scroll to his Instragram account, nothing new so he went to his Facebook account.
His forehead wrinkled when he saw someone's account, it's so familiar of course it is, its Calix facebook account after all.
He clicked Calix account and scroll a bit he stopped scrolling when someone stand beside him. The guy was too close. Kaamoy nito ang pabango ni Calix. To make sure that it was him Matthew was about to look when the speak that made him stilled and realizing what he's doing earlier.
"Stalking is bad, you know" Calix teasingly said.
Biglang pinatay ni Matthew ang cellphone niya at umayos ng tayo. He put his hand on his pocket dahil nanginginig iyo.
He felt really ashamed at lalo iyong nadagdagan nang marinig niyang tumawa ang katabi.
He swallowed hard. He closed his eyes and take a deep breath at maingay iyong pinakawalan.
The hell he's doing here? Matthew wants to go back to his seat pero gusto na talaga niyang uminom, at mineral water ang gusto niya.
Biglang dumami ang estudyante kaya naman lalo napalapit sa kaniya ang katawan ni Calix. Pakiramdam niya kaunti na lang mawawalan na siya ng hinanga dahil sa sobra kapa at napakabilis ng tibok ng puso n'ya.
Mahigpit niyang kinuyom ang kamay sa loob ng sout niyang school pants trying to calm himself.
Matthew felt Calix hand on his elbow. Sobrang init ng kamay nito. Calix hand send something to his body that he doesn't understand what is it. Hindi siya mapakanali. It like there's something on his stomach that made more nervous.
Nac-cr ba ako? Lihim niyang tanong sa sarili.
Lalong humigpit ang kapit ni Calix sa kaniya.
A moment later wala pa rin ang tubig niya. Kung kaya lang niyang pigilan ang uhaw na nararamdaman kanina pa siya umalis para sa labas na lang bumili but the question is, kaya ba n'yang umalis? Nahihirapan siya sa position nila ni Calix.
Sobrang lapit ng katawan nito sa kaniya, Calix hand still on his elbow maybe to support his weight dahil pwede siyang matuba anytime. Kahit nahihirapan siya he likes the feeling, 'yong pakiramdam na malapit sa kaniya ang binata. He felt safe and secure at same time.
Someone bump to Calix back kaya wala sa sariling napaatras si Matthew. He was expecting na may sasakit sa kaniya dahil may bakal sa may likod kung saan siya na paatras. He looked on his back and there, he surprised because Calix hand is on his back. Nakaharap na siya kay Calix, ang isang kamay niya ay nasa dibdib ng binata at ang isa niyang kamay ay nasa loob pa rin ng bulsa at sobrang nakakuyom na. Calix hand was on his back kaya naman sa halip na sa likod niya tumama ang may katilusang bakalay sa kamay ni Calix ito tumusok.
Kahit hirap Matthew tried to move a bit para maiwas sa bakal so he can check Calix hand. When he already move a bit hindi ni Calix tinanggal sa likod niya ang kamay bagkus at bumaba iyon sa bawang niya.
Kung kanina ay mabilis na ang tibok ng puso ngayon ay mas bumilis at lumakas. Hindi na siya magtataka kung marinig o madama ni Calix ang tibok ng puso niya.
They are bit hugging each other. Matthew looked at Calix who's also looking at him intently but emotionless.
He want to ask Calix about its hand pero may kamay na may kalakasang tumapik sa kaniya. It's the vendor.
"Tubig mo oh" the woman is blushing. Para itong nahihiya sa pagtapik sa kaniya.
Now, he can turn around dahil may kaluwagan na ang unahan.
"Salama-"
Matthew can't finish his line because something is bothering him.
He fucking felt something on his back near to his anus! And he freaking know what is thta!! And it's his freaking neighbor having hard time.
Does he even need to close to his back? Or he didn't know that his thing down there is touching his back.
Sobrang awkward ng pakiramdam niya. He couldn't move! F-ck f-ck!
Mabilis siyang umalis nang hindi na ito nakadikit sa kaniya. Walang lingon-lingon na mabilis na humakbang paalis.
Hinihingal siyang umupo at uminom ng tubig. He needs to calm down! Hindi niya lubos maisip ang nangyari kanina!
Nang kumalma na siya inakit na niya ang nga kaibigan para bumalik sa kani-kanilang classroom.
Before he leave he heard Calix friend asking what happened to Calix hand.
Biglang bumalik sa ala-ala niya ang nangyari. He secretly look at Calix hand mukha nay sugat iyon dahil may bakas ng dugo at maingat namang pinupunasan ni Calix.
He felt conscience pero hindi naman iyon kasalanan ah! He didn't ask him to do that! Pero kahit anong sabihin niya sa sarili kinakain pa rin siya ng konsensya.
Nag-uusap ang mga kaibigan niya habang siya nama'y iniisip kung anong dapat sabihin kay Calix kung sakaling magkita sila.
Ang lalim ng iniisip niya at dumako na kung saan-saan. He stopped thinking when he remember Calix thing! Biglang uminit ang pinge niya
"Are you okay?" It's Liam
Mabilis siyang umiwas bg tingin at maingat na huminga nang malalim
"I am" he answered shortly.
Halatang hindi naniwala si Liam sa sagot niya ngunit hindi na ito nagtanong pa.
"Ayos ka lang ba talaga?" Muling tanong sa kaniya ni Liam nang makaupo sila sa kani-kaniyang upuan.
He take a deep breath "I told you I am"
Humarap sa kaniya ang kaibigan at mataman siyang tiningnan
"I can say that you're not"
He looked straight to Liam's eyes. Thinking should he teel him what's happening.
But he decided, bahala na jun mangyari.
"Do you remember the guy I told you last time? iyong lalaking nakabunggo sa akin ng bike?"
When Liam silently nodded he continued talking
"What's with him?" Liam asked nang hindi siya nagsalita.
"I actually don't. I know I'm mad at him because of what happened but why hell on earth my heart palpitate everytime I saw him? I feel so much nervous when he's near. I wanted to see him, even just a bit or just a glance I feel okay."
Hindi umimik si Liam at nakikinig lang sa mga sinasabi niya
"Dati kapag naiisip kong magtatagpu ang landas namin kumukulo na agad ang dugo ko at now? Every time I think about it I feel excited and keeps on thinking when will it happen." he swallowed, and continue speaking. Matthew didn't feel shy because it's Liam who's his talking- his best friend at alam niyang hindi siya nito sasabihan ng hindi maganda bagkus ay magbibigay pa ito g payo.
"Kung dati sira na agad ang araw ko kapg nakikita ko siya ngayon parang kompleto na agad ang araw ko, parang biglang naging kompleto? naiinis ako kapag hindi ko siya nakikita."
After telling to him what happened he asked "What do you think is happening to me? may sakit ba ako? hindi normal ang nararamdaman ko!"
Now he felt frustrated. Realizing what just happening to him.
"I think wala ka naman sakit. And what you felt is normal-" sagot ni Liam
"So?" what patiently asked
Liam sit properly but still looking at him "So therefore I conclude that you like him or maybe it's not like anymore, I can that say that its Love" Liam smiled at him. Its genuine. Walang halong pang-aasar o ano.
Hindi siya agad nakareact. Hindi niya alam ang sasabihin. Para siyang binuhusan ng tubig.
"I love him?" he asked himself
No! of course he didn't.
"I didn't, Li. Maybe it not like-"
"Because its Love. You love him" anito na parang siguradong-sigurado sa sinasabi.
"Neither love, Li. Wala sa dalawa!" hindi niya alam kung anong mararamdaman. Hindi niya tanggap. That guy, he love him?
"Are you sure?" Liam asked
Then he immediately nooded
Liam smirk and looked outside. "Then look at there and tell me"
Sa labas ito nakatingin para siya pa rin ang kausap.
Puno ng pagtataka siyang lumingon sa labas. And there he saw Calix who's laughing hard. Biglang nawala ang atensyon niya nararamdaman kanina. Love. He's not questioning himself if he really loves him. Parang gusto niyang maniwala kay Liam nang sabihin nitong mahal niya ang binata.
An explainable pain cross to his chest when he notice who's Calix talking.
It a girl, a pretty, stuning, and very attractive girl.
Bigla siyang uiwas ng tingin. He felt pain. And why is that? maybe because Liam was right?
Marahas niyang pinilig ang ulo. Binaliwala niya ang usapan nila ni Liam at muling tumingin sa labas.
They're still talking, something they laugh. Sila lang dalawa. Are they dating? Does Calix like her?
He looked at Calix happy face. It looks peaceful and happiness really visible.
Bigla niyang naalala ang mukha ni Calik tuwing nakaharap sa kaniya. Minsan mapangasar na ngiti ang nakaguhit sa mukha, minsan walang emotion. Hays.
He should stop thinking about Calix. The pain was new to him. Matthew doesn't like it.
Ngunit mukhang lagi niyang mararamdaman ang sakit kung ganito palagi ang nakikita niya.
The two are now sitting on the bench, inaayos ni Calix ang buhok ng dalaga na humarang sa mukha nito ng humangin.
Masakit na ang dibdib niya pero hindi niya magawang hindi tumingin. Sa tuwing umiiwas siya ng tingin he found himself looking back and watch Calix face.
Kapag kaharap niya ang binata hindi naman ganoon kasaya kaya naman susulitin na niyang tingnan ito kahit may sakit na kaakibat dahil hindi naman siya ang dahilan ng pagtawa nito.
Wala siyang balak alisin ang tingin sa masayang mukha ng binata ngunit dumating na ang instructor nila, so he had no choie but to focus on his class.
Minutes or so later, he looked outside again.
Paalis na ang dalawa. Hawak ni Calix ang braso ng dalaga at naglakad.
Maybe Calix is just gentleman to all kaya naman nilagay nito ang kamay kanina sa likod niya. He's just helping and nothing more.
Natapos ang klase ng walang siyang gaanong naintindihan.
Lumilipad ang isip niya. Ang nakikita lang niya ay ang masayang mukha ni Calix and he calm down but remembering the he was talking he feel the pain again.
Nagtayuan ang lahat para umuwi. Tapos na ang klase para ngyong araw. Parang naubos ang lahat ng energy ni Matthew katawan and he's very aware kung ano ang dahilan.
"Okay ka lang?" Liam asked and he nod.
Wala siya sa mood makipag-usap.
"It's okay. Hindi mo naman siya laging makikita. Tuwing may pasok lang." Liam smile.
"Iyon na nga e, halos lagi ko siyang nakikita. He's my new neighbor afterr all." matamlay niyang sagot at lumabas na ng classroom.