The world I see now feels boring. Nothing makes me feel like a perfect life. To the point where just imagining it feels really wrong. When I saw several pages of previously printed photos, I slowly remembered one important thing. It seemed to awaken my long-sleeping self. There was nothing much more enjoyable than that. There was no other reason why it could be like this. One thing was very certain at that time. Like drowning in a very dark ocean. Only leaving one cry in my eyes. Several days have passed since that incident. Only I can understand everything. Although at the same time some people also often come to me with the intention of providing help. Strangely, I don't regret anything. I can't explain to them why that is. At that time, I only saw how frustrated they were who watched me lying helplessly in the inpatient room. Indeed, it is impossible to predict how this fate will work. It seems like everything just flows. No one can guess even if there is, it's all just nonsense. Today I have quite a lot of work. Unlike usual days, they always give me the most troublesome things. It's like a curse. Where I was the only one carrying out a job that drained my energy and mind. From outside, several people were gathering. As if new news was coming. Even though I was curious about it, unfortunately I wasn't interested at all. They were just talking about something unimportant. That's what I've heard with my own ears. After this, I tidied up some of the unused photo files. I really wanted to throw them away. But I couldn't do it. Even though this was like a worthless item, it was annoying to let it pile up like this. Slowly I moved to take all the items and throw them away as I wanted in my head. Unexpectedly, someone came over to me with a face that looked anxious.
“Wow, what is this?” I asked this person.
“Damn. Looks like this is going to be over soon.”
“What will end?”
"You don't know? Holy shit. How could that moron not tell everyone about it."
“Hey, tell me what happened?” I said in a slightly forceful tone.
"Actually, they intend to dissolve us all."
“What? How could that be?”
“I don't know, I think there's a bit of a problem at the center.”
“Don’t joke. What will happen to all of us after this?”
“That's the problem. It seems like just being a failure.”
“Really? Then it’s a waste of all this work.”
"It's true. That's why many people have been talking about this problem."
After talking about such an important thing, I think there is only one answer to this anxiety. I didn't think it would all end so quickly. Even though there are still many things that I want to do even though my daily life here is boring. It turns out that all of that will disappear in a short time. It was really never in my previous expectations. The current incident is like a pile of anxiety that is on everyone's mind. After knowing that, the people who are with me in this room are still complaining about the same thing. Since earlier, the atmosphere has been chaotic.
“I think this time the problem can't be prevented.”
“Yes. That is absolutely true,” the person said.
Sometimes my mind gets confused because of that. Like an insect that has lost its way. Several times I felt that there was something wrong with all of this. Not only watching from one side, as if everything came to gnaw at the contents of my head. From here there is only one definite answer. There are also many problems that come together when I have started to feel calm. Memories that are getting more and more intense because of some silly things slowly make my heart beat faster. Suddenly I just imagine the face that I have not seen for a long time. In my mind, it feels like it was only yesterday that I did not see it even though it has been a long time since 10 years ago. That memory is the key to where I am starting to go crazy. When I am under the same worry, once again there is no way out. Today the weather is quite bright compared to yesterday. Unfortunately there are no activities that I should have done. I don't know why I suddenly feel something is wrong. Even here my soul continues to be held back by something that is indeed uncertain. There are so many questions in my head now. The longer it is, the more uncomfortable it makes me. At the same time I also feel that someone has come to my house. The sound of the bell ringing made me get up from where I was sitting. I saw that it was the person who came.
“Wow, it’s you,” I said in a slightly surprised tone.
“Damn. Looks like there’s no other way.”
“What do you mean? Why isn’t there another way?”
“Haven’t you heard from him? Oh my. What’s wrong with you.”
“What news?”
"I guessed it. Those lies don't tell everyone."
“What did you say? What’s wrong? Don’t make me open your mouth.”
“Actually, there is a new problem. Some of the higher-ups do not agree with the new project proposal and they plan to reject it.”
"A new project? Who proposed that question? Isn't it already canceled a long time ago?"
“Yes. That’s true. But some of them proposed a re-issue. That’s why the problem has increased now.”
“Gosh. They’re still doing whatever they want.”
“You’re right. That’s why I’m here now. There’s a lot I want to talk about to get things over with.”
“Do you intend to finish it yourself?”
“No. It’s not like that. It’s just that if I don’t deal with it, it’ll get more complicated.”
“Wait, something is odd here. Why do you insist on doing that?”
“Because this involves a lot of money.”
"What are you saying?"
“It’s more annoying than I thought. This is the only way to get my condition back. Honestly, my economy has not been doing well for a long time.”
“Really? But I see you don’t seem to have any problems at all.”
“Come on, that’s just what’s visible on the outside.”
The worsening situation does make anyone want to do many things. Unexpectedly, this time it was much worse than it seemed. After looking back, nothing could be predicted so far. The longer it went on, nothing changed. It was like a puzzle. Many things had happened to me and now it was always the same. The desired answer never came out. It was quite clear that it left a wound that would never end.
“So what are your plans now?” I asked curiously.
“Maybe I should take a step further. That's all.”
"Are you sure?"
“Yes. Because there is no solution other than me stepping forward.”
This second also feels really strange. There is something that I think is disturbing my mind. There is nothing I can do for now even though everything is very clear. Unlike before, once again I feel at least something very strange again. Night comes. When darkness begins to appear, my eyes seem to start seeing quite difficult. This is different from before. I feel that my world suddenly collapsed since that day. Nothing has changed after that. Now everything will be one in the embrace of myself that I never understood. Honestly, I don't want to live like this. There are many things that I really want compared to a disgusting life. It's been a long time since silence was felt. After looking around my bed, it felt like the first time I saw a side where only I was aware of this. It's time for me to start resting. As soon as I closed my eyes, only darkness was seen accompanied by silence. Meanwhile, right now right in a bar in the middle of the city. Someone had just entered the place and sat next to a man who was currently enjoying his drink. Right in front of the two of them stood the bartender who was pouring drinks. The expression that described frustration was very clear. The man immediately glanced at a young man beside him. There was no sound, only a moment of silence. This is where many people seem to feel something not much different. A life that is so stuffy coupled with alternating problems, makes some people feel their own version of suffering. The voices of people in the corner who continue to talk about many rumors made the man immediately sigh. Proof that he was tired of all this. Nothing has changed from them. Most are only interested in other people's stories rather than what they are going through at this moment. Not long after, the young man beside the man turned his face towards him.
"Wow, it turns out it's quite crowded here," said the young man.
“You’re right. By the way, there’s something that’s been bothering me for a while now.”
“What is bothering you, sir?”
“It seems like you are looking for someone. Is that true?”
“Oh my gosh. Is it that obvious?”
“Yes. For someone like me who realizes that, it’s very obvious. Just tell me you’re looking for someone.”
"It turns out it's not just a rumor, there are a lot of informants in this place," said the young man while taking a sip of his drink.
"Because this is the source of information."
“I see. I thought so.”
“Is the person you are looking for quite famous?”
“I don’t know. He seems like just a regular guy working at a studio.”
The next morning. This time I woke up with a really sore head. My head is not usually like this. Slowly I went straight to the dining room and got a glass of water. Strangely my mind was still very confused. Even though I didn't drink any alcohol last night. This felt really torturous. The clock was already showing 7 am which was quite troublesome today. According to the usual schedule, if it was 9 o'clock I had to go back to work. Time flew by so quickly. Today I hope everything will go well even much better than the previous day.
“Oh my, I forgot something,” I said as I checked my desk in my room again, then picked up one of the notes.