I blew a loud breath and blinked my eyes trying to keep the tears at bay. I felt the pain again after reminiscing the death of my mother. The seven year old me was shattered and heartbroken for the fact that I have no parents. It was just me and my grandmother. Our neighbors pitied me and said their condolences. Some helped with my mother's funeral and said comforting words to me. On my mother's burial, I heard the most painful cry of my grandmother. She was the most affected back then. My grandmother won't even eat and had a hard time sleeping. After a week, she managed to pull herself together and learned to smile again. But I knew that she's just trying to look okay so, I won't worry anymore. My grandmother did everything for me. She comforted me when days were bad and always reminded me that God has better plans for me. Back then, I didn't know what she meant and would just nod.
I heard someone sobbed that made me comeback from memory lane. It was Maddie who was drying her tears with a tissue.
"Okay ka lang, girl?" I asked her.
Hinawakan niya ang kamay ko na nasa mesa. Kitang-kita ko ang kalungkutan sa mga mata niya. Naaawa siya sa'kin. Pumikit ako, hindi ko gustong kaawaan ng kung sino man.
"Ako pa talaga ang tinatanong mo ng ganyan?" Napailing nalang si Maddie. Binitawan na niya ang kamay ko at napabuntong-hininga.
"I actually have more to tell you." I said in a low voice.
"You can tell me later when we get home." Maddie said and then waved her hand to signal the waiter for their bill. A few moments later, they were outside the cafe and on their way to their apartment. It was just a 15 minute walk. This is one of the things they like while living at their apartment. It was a walking distance to some of the establishments they wanted to go to.
Unlocking the front door, Maddie and Erica went inside the apartment and took off their shoes. The apartment was simple and small but it was more than enough for them. They had been living here for four years now. At first, the apartment had nothing except for a double deck bed and a cabinet. The first thing that went to their minds was to buy their needed things as soon as they receive their salary and looking at the apartment now, it felt homey and far different from it was before.
Maddie handed me a bottled water as she sits beside me on the couch. I muttered 'thanks' to her and turned on the television looking for something good to watch. It's too early for us to sleep, might as well watch tv and continue my story telling.
I drank some water and leaned my back on the couch as I focused my attention on the tv screen. Maddie shifted from her seat and stood up, probably going to the kitchen to get something.
Pagkarating namin sa apartment ay agad kaming pumanhik sa kwarto namin para makapagpalit ng pangtulog. Umuulan pa naman sa labas, mabuti nalang may dala kaming payong at malapit lang ang cafe sa tinitirhan namin. Itong apartment na'to ang naging tirahan namin sa loob ng apat na taon at talagang pinagbuti namin ang pagtatrabaho para lang may pangbili kami sa mga pangangailangan namin. Pero syempre, hindi nakakalimutan ni Maddie ang pagpapadala ng pera sa mga magulang at kapatid niya. Taga Quezon Province si Maddie at may maliit na kapatid pa na siyang pinapaaral niya. Sa totoo nga, hanga ako kay Maddie sa katatagan niya at sa pagiging mabuting anak at kapatid. Minsan na akong nakapunta sa bahay nila at masasabi kong simple pero masaya ang pamumuhay ng buong mag-anak nila.
Napabuntong-hininga naman ako kung hindi lang sana namatay si mama at lola, may pamilya pa sana ako ngayon at masaya kaming namumuhay. I would've been happier going home everyday from work if they were still here. They were my inspiration to pursue my studies and land for a stable job. I badly missed them. I felt a hand touched my shoulder which brought me back from my reverie. I turned my attention to Maddie who was looking at me intently.
"Okay ka lang, girl?" She asked me in a worried tone. I knew after opening up to her about my past would make her worry but I can't help but tell her everything or I would be keeping this heavy feeling inside my chest forever.
"To tell you honestly, no. Hindi ako okay, malapit na ang death anniversary ni Lola at sobra akong nangungulila sa kanilang dalawa ni mama." I didn't even realized that I was practically letting out my frustrations infront of my bestfriend.
Maddie gave me an assuring smile before she picked up remote and turned off the television. "I got us some tissues and some chips. I had a feeling that this is going to be a long night." She placed the box of tissue paper and a bowl of chips on the table. Looks like she came prepared for what I'm about to share.
I chuckled shortly. "Pinaghandaan mo talaga no?"
Maddie shrugged. "Kung ang ikukwento mo ba naman ay ang mga masasakit na karanasan mo sa buha. Talagang maiiyak ako pero girl, okay lang ba talaga sayong sabihin sa'kin?" She faced me this time and held my hands.
"Oo naman. You're my bestfriend and I trust you. Gusto ko lang naman gumaan ang nararamdaman ko." I blew a deep breath and looked down.
Maddie pulled me into a tight hug and I can't help but feel warm all over. It had been a long since I felt such a warm hug. Despite all the challenges, I'm grateful that God never left my side and gave me a bestried who's always there for me in good and bad times. Indeed, it's a great decision to tell my her about my past. Maddie's the closest person I have since my mother and grandmother's death. Without her by my side, I don't think I would've make it. I treat her like my sister and I'm thankful that she's willing to listen to my problems and frustrations. I just hoped everything will turn out well in the end.