"How did you overcome the fear Miss Keilee?" Will ask me, the host of the talkshow.
It been two week since the day of my accident, I visited some of the talkshows but sometimes I refused to accept their invites kasi pinapaalahanan ako ni Harley na hindi masyadong magpagod.
I pursed my lips "How do I overcome it?" I sighed and smile "Fear won't help me grow as a person, it will just stop me from being happy."
He smiled as he heard my answer. Totoo naman talaga na hindi dapat mabuhay sa takot kasi paano tayo mabubuhay ng normal kung puro takot nalang ang iniisip mo? Learn to fight with fear cause fear is like a small monster you thought was huge.
"Despite of the hate you received from people bakit pinipili mo paring ngumiti?" he ask me.
I smile "People that has hatred on me won't stop me from being me...from smiling because they don't own my feelings." I answer "They can hate me but it's just a waste of time cause I can still smile while they're hating me," I added.
The host's lips form into 'o' with my answer, lumunok siya bago nagsalitang muli.
"How to be strong as you?" tanong nito na nagpatahimik sa akin.
I shook my head slowly "Actually I'm not strong many times that I almost lost in my own life. But inorder to be strong you should learn to fight yourself first."
The talkshow finished so I went straight to my dressing room to relax for a bit. It wasn't exhausting but it was challenging kasi kailangan kong maging maingat sa mga salitang babanggitin ko.
"Let's go Kel you need to take a nap." Harley informed me the thing I already know.
Noong gumising ako I was confused kung bakit wala si Harley but she explained that Dana, Leigh and Zed told her to relax kaya umuwi muna Siya sa condo niya.
"When can I surf again Harley?" I ask her with my close eyes.
I miss surfing because it always made me calm and happy. Kahit nahuhulog man ako patuloy parin akong umaahon ang nagpapatuloy sa pagsabay sa alon.
Harley bit her lips "I don't know but I will just call Doktora Lopez." she called doktora right away.
Pumikit lamang ako dahil parang matagal pa ang pinag-uusapan nila. I felt bored so I dozed off to sleep.
I don't have any nightmares anymore, which is a good thing cause I can sleep peacefully without panting when I woke up.
Nakaramdam ako ng tapik sa aking balikat na nagpagising sa natutulog kong diwa. "Hey what?" kumunot ang noo ko at kinusot ang aking mata.
"Doktora said that you're able to surf but do stretching before so that you will not experience pain on your back." aniya kaya tumango ako.
I don't still have plans to surf for now, I just ask para kapag gusto ko na ay pwede ko ng gawin. Missing the waves from the sea is just like missing my lover.
"Let's go home magpapahinga nalang muna ako." I stood up, kinuha ang bag ko at lumabas na.
For this time I'm staying on my condo, mas okay na kasi ang kalagayan ko hindi kagaya no'n.
We arrived at my condo so I went straight to my room and lay down on my bed, bored na bored na ako sa paghiga sa kama ko. So I thought of going outside without asking permission to Harley I think she won't mind it.
I drove away heading to nowhere, my mind was blank when I was driving. When I suddenly saw an amusement park, andaming pamilyang nag ha-hangout how I miss to be a child again. Ini-park ko ang aking sasakyan sa may parking area at naglakad patungo sa ferris wheel.
"Wow......" I was amazed by the scenery I am witnessing now.
Pumila ako sa linya na hindi naman ganoon kahaba, I was alone sitting inside of the ferris wheel. Tahimik lamang ako habang nakatingin sa city lights na kumikislap sa kadiliman, I admire the beauty it does.
My tears suddenly fell from my eyes, I don't know but in a sudden I found myself crying without any reason. Alam niyo ba yung feeling na malungkot ka? kahit hindi ka naman depressed. It sucks being sad....it really is.
I don't wanna go home I just wanted to be alone kaya ginawa ko. Pumunta ako sa beach resort na palagi kong dinadayo the last time I came here when I was with Leigh, we did surfing.
"I hate you all for hating me!" sigaw ko sa kawalan na napaka tahimik at madilim. "Nakakainis kayo dahil hindi niyo man lang iniisip ang feelings ko!" I close my eyes letting my tears escape from my eyes.
I was laying down the sand the whole time just wearing my two piece swimsuit. I don't feel the cold breeze of wind parang manhid na ako sa mga oras na 'to.
"If I could just enumerate the most painful word y'all throw to me I already did! D*mn you all for hurting my feelings." shouting made me ease my pain I wanted to release.
I used to smile whenever they're throwing such words to me. They believed that I'm not affected with their hurtful words, but I do.
"Ang ingay mo naman..." someone lay down beside me so I awkwardly hug my body. "I'm harmless woman." aniya nang mapansing nanginginig ako.
"I don't think so that men are harmless....they can hurt woman without them knowing that they are." I disagree with him, harmless huh.
He chuckled which made me roll my eyes but....he changed my mood, "Come with me so I can prove to you that not all men harmful..." he invited me.
Where? On his suite? Tsk
"I'm not a stupid woman you thought I am.." pagtataray ko, ganito din ako sa tuwing kinaka-usap ko si Zed though mas mataray ako sa...sino nga ba 'to?
"Being with me doesn't mean you're being stupid though...." he sat down and offer his hand to me, "Let's go, I'm harmless" he assured me.
|Moreignna|