Chapter 6 || Confrontation
Madiin kong tinu-tusok-tusok ng tinidor ang lasagna na nasa harap ko. I spent most of my time here sa caf kasi ayaw kong mag krus ang landas namin ni Kise. And the Cafeteria is the safest place kasi hindi siya pumupunta dito. Yata?
Most of the time athletes tend to just stay inside the court, either sa classroom or doon mo lang sila makikita. So I'm confident enough na hindi na kami magkikita pa dito.
"Maawa ka naman sa lasagna, uy!" and oh, I forgot. After awkwardly dramatic scenario that we had in the car, Ismael's eating with me. Here in the cafeteria! Nagulat nalang ako, tumabi na siya sakin.
Goo thing he's really not that talkative, parang nagsasalita lang siya if needed. And buti nalang hindi iisa ang tabas nila ni Romano, I don't think I can survive the world with another Kise existing in it.
"Nakakainis talaga! Sumusobra na!" bulong bulong ko sa sarili. I just can't get over it! Mabuti na nga lang at hindi pa talaga kami nagkikita.
I can't exactly contemplate as though in what way would I be reacting because I would definitely just scamper away and not face him. This would be the loss that I will be accepting wholeheartedly.
"What do you want to eat? Do you want water?" He asked. "Wait, bibilihan muna—" akma na sana itong tatayo kaya't inunahan ko na.
"No, thank you. Ayos lang." agap ko. Nabuntong nalang ako sa sobrang lula. And Ismael, my new found buddy, was suffering with the consequences instead.
"Are you really sure that you're okay? Kasi by the looks of it, you look awful." diretsa niyang sabi. I just rolled my eyes. Of course, I mean.. Who wouldn't look awful? Hindi ako nakatulog kagabi.
Even Q didn't let me rest even after I got out of my room. Mukhang nai-chismis pa nga sa buong bahay yung pinaniwalaan niyang nangyari.
"Uhuh. I'm alright, Ismael. Hindi lang maayos ang tulog ko kagabi."
"Really? Well, pwede ka namang matulog ngayon. Gigisingin nalang kita kapag bell na." he said then smiled.
I glance at the watch in my wrist and took my time decide whether to agree or not, kasi mukhang gusto na din bumigay ng utak ko e.
Just when I was about to agree with Ismael's suggestion, sakto namang nakita ko si Cara na papalapit dito samin. She looks furious. Ito ang unang beses na nagkita kami after that scenario.
I almost forgot that she existed, honestly. Sa sobrang daming tumatakbo at naglalaro sa ulo ko, halos hindi na sumagi sa isip ko iyong mukha ni Cara.
"I think, hindi na ako makakatulog." sabi ko kay Ismael. Kumunot ang noo nito at puno ng tanong ang mukha. I sighed and gave Ismael a small smile.
Napailing nalang ako dahil papalapit nang papalalpit na samin si Cara. We're not in good terms as of the moment. Ayoko siyang maka-usap pag ganito. She's a bitch sometimes.
"Shennaia, let's talk." she said bluntly. Walang pag-aalinlangan. I almost rolled my eyes in front of her.
One thing that I really hate about Cara is she sometimes view herself as someone superior, hindi naman lahat napapasunod sa gusto niya.
Bahagya itong bumaling kay Ismael at sakin.
"And that's only for the two of us." she glared at Ismael once more. Matik namang tumayo ang binata dahil alam niya kung ano ang ipinapahiwatig nito.
In all fairness with Ismael, mabait naman kasi talaga ang binata. Kaya nama'y hindi na nahirapan pa si Cara na ibwelta ang gusto niyang mangyari dahil nagkusa na mismong gumalaw si Ismael.
I sighed. "Sorry, Ismael." he stood up abruptly. Ewan ko, kung ba't parang anghel 'tong lalaking to.
"No, it's okay. Uh.... Later?" tumango ako at ngumiti. At ngayong wala na si Ismael. Ito namang nag-a-alburutong si Cara ang kakaharapin ko.
"What the hell are you doing, Shennaia Calderon?" diretsang tanong saakin ni Cara habang nakataas ang kilay.
"Kumakain, I guess?" not really, halos di ko nga nabawasan yung lasagna eh.
"Oh really? Eh yung article mo? Pa condo-condo nalang ba?" My head snapped towards her. Nataas ang kilay nito at mahigpit na naka-pamewang. I can't exactly read what she was implying for.
"Look, Cara. Kung galit ka parin dahil sa nangyari, it's not my fault. Si Kise ang puntahan mo."
I am trying my best not to sound so dismissive here.
"That's not the point, Shennaia! Ang akin lang naman ay you're not like this! Your article! Kung di mo kaya, ibigay mo sa iba! You're being incompetent." pasigaw na nitong utas sakin. I can feel eyes staring. Nasamin na ang atensyon ng ibang tao dito sa caf.
I've never been called incompetent my whole life. Not with my writing. I almost stood up and pushed her, but instead I remained unbothered and calm. I won't give Cara the satisfaction she seeks.
Pero honestly, nagulat ako. Cara's not like this. Actually, wala siyang pake kung makapasa man ako o hindi. One time nga noong 2nd year high school kami, ang saya saya niya dahil na late ako ng pasa.
So why is she all of a sudden in rage right now? What's the point?
"Ewan ko sayo, Cara. If you want the assignment, I'll give it to you. I'll give Kise Romano's article to you. Let's see, kung may makukuha ka." tumayo ako. Bago ko ito tinalikoran ay nagsalita akong muli. "Talk to the EIC, Cara. And believe me, you'd rather leave the The Catalyst than get Kise Romano's interview." I said in a harsh voice, I'm so not in the mood right now.
And I left the caf. And Cara. Jaw dropped. Inis na inis na ako. Nawala na first kiss ko't lahat lahat, wala parin akong napala. Nandyan naman pala si Cara na kayang akuin lahat. Oh edi, I'll step aside.
Sa kanya na yong article.
"You look murderous." umangat ang tingin ko sa lalaking nagsalita. He was leaning on the wall. It was Kise.
Of all of the times, right now. Really?
I groaned. Kise's the last person I want to associate with right now. Mas lalong umiinit ang ulo ko.
Why do I feel like everyone's teaming up against me? I'm not even doing anything. Everything was so peaceful just before I entered that gym and asked my question to this man.
"Shut up." madiin kong sambit. Lalagpasan ko na sana siya ng magsalita siyang muli.
"I heard you're giving me up..." mabilis akong bumaling sa kanya. My eyes narrowed. Ba't parang maling pakinggan?
"Cara's taking the job, siya na ang magsusulat ng tungkol sa'yo." I said with such firmness. Para makuha niya ang ipinupunto ko na hindi ko na kailangan ang point of view niya.
He remained silent. Kise Romano... We could've been good good friends. It was nice while it lasted. Only if you didn't kissed me. That was pure bullshit.
"I enjoyed your company, Romano. Alis na ako." mabilis akong naglakad, palayo. I don't want to look back. I don't wanna get attached. Cara's taking the job, okay. Okay, yun na yun. Ayokong damdamin.
I cradled professionalism like a salvation and convinced myself that I was made for something better.
He's just a mere subject for my article. Nothing more, nothing less. I shouldn't feel things.
"Pub. Office, 3:00 PM, urgent." basa kong muli sa text ng EIC namin. Sinisigurado ko lang dahil 3:10 na wala parin.
Tahimik lang akong umupo sa isa sa mga bangko na naka-palibot sa mahabang mesa na ito. Wala pa rin ang EIC namin. And I already had an idea what this meeting is for.
"She? Sorry, medyo natagalan period namin." sabi ng EIC namin habang mabilis na tumungo sa upuan niya. Sa pinaka-gitna.
Bilib rin naman ako dito sa EIC namin eh. Nursing student siya, tapos member ng student coucil tapos EIC pa ng The Catalyst. Grabeng time management talaga kailangan dun.
"Nagulat ako nung biglang nag approach sakin si Cara. Is it true?" I wasn't even a bit shocked with the question, I was actually looking forward with this.
Tumango ako. "She keeps on pestering me about Kise. I know we must not associate personal grudges whenever we work, pero Cara... I think she likes Kise." Sabi ko.
I know that. I know she likes Kise for God knows how long. Alam ko na mula pa nang bigla niya akong sinigawan ng hindi siya sinama ni Kise sa condo niya. Una palang, alam kong gusto niya nang siya ang mag feature kay Kise.
"So that was it... Okay lang talaga sayo? Na ibigay ang case kay Cara?" the EIC asked. I remained silent. I want to answer her, gusto ko ring tumango. I don't know, parang bigla akong ti-nraidor ng sarili ko.
I don't even know why we're stuffs big deal about this. We can just let is pass and let Cara do the do work. Para matapos na.
"Ikaw talaga, Shennaia. Kise is yours. And I know, you're having a hard time pursuing him. Alam kong alam mo ang gagawin sa mga ganyang bagay. Cara's done with her job, and you? I trust you. I know you as a writer and as a person, She. Kaya sayo parin si Kise. Pero I assure you, kung hindi talaga, isang lapit mo lang sakin, I'll give you another subject. Okay?" I smiled then nodded. No wonder she's the EIC. She's so good.
"Thank you, ate Deth. Thank you." and I genuinely smiled at her. Life's good, anyway. Pero parang ansarap talagang magsabi ng masasamang words.
Sumabay ako sa daloy ng mga estudyanteng papalabas na ng gate. Uwian na, really. Ang weird kasi feeling ko may something akong hindi nagawa bago umuwi. Oh well.
The moment I stepped out of the gate. Cara's face welcomed me.
"So, my dearest Shennaia..." she trailed looking with varied expectations.
I raised my brows. I've known Cara ever since 1st year high school. She's cool. We're cool. Palaging kaming magkasama kasi lagi kaming sabay pupumunta sa pub office namin, hanggang ngayon. I treated her as my friend, my journo buddy, I wonder if its vice versa. Or was it just me all along?
"You're not true to your words." she said while staring straightly at me. Mukhang nakuha naman na niya ang konteksto kahit hindi pa ako nagsalita.
I shrugged. "Sorry not sorry, Cara. You know me, I never view journalism as a competition. Kise's mine and you have nothing to do but to live with it."
Then I left the scene. So long, Cara Galicano.