"Valentinaaaa!" Pag titili ng kaibigan kong si Isabella ng maka rating sa hotel room kung saan ako inaayusan.
"Ang ganda ganda mo naman! Mana sakin ayiiieeee!" Sambit nito kaya napatawa ako.
Nakaayos na din siya. She's my bride's maid and her daughter will be my little bride.
"Kinakabahan ako." Sabi ko sa kanya. She just smile.
"Don't be ok? Wag kang kabahan! Dapat excited ka kasi ikakasal kana tapos sa lalaking gusto mo pa diba!" I just smiled at her.
Gusto ko nga Pero di naman ako gusto.
Yes. This is just an arranged marriage. And it's for the business. Hindi ko rin naman maitatanggi na gusto ko talaga ang groom ko. I love him since before.
"Oh! Alam ko yang mukhang yan! Don't worry, I'm pretty sure na magugustuhan ka nalang nun." She said, trying to cheer me up.
"I wish." I said. She just smiled.
"Sige pupuntahan ko na muna yung anak ko ha! Titingnan ko lang kung maayos na siya. Wala pa namang naka bantay doon." She said.
"Asan na kasi yung ama?" Mapag malisyang tanong ko.
"Nandoon! Sa mata ko nagkakape baket!?" Masungit na tanong nito. I just laughed at her.
"Alam mo bang chase ang favorite kong palaman sa tinapay? hahahaha!" I said. She just made a look.
"Happy ka? Sipain kita diyan eh!" She said. I smiled.
"Nakita mo na ba yung invitation? Kilala mo na sino partner mo?" Tanong ko sa kanya.
"Hindi. Nasira ng anak ko yung invitation eh." Aniya niya.
I bit my lower lips trying to stop myself from smiling and laughing. So she doesn't have a clue?
"Oh bakit ka natatawa diyan?" Tanong nito.
"Nothing..." I said. Tumango nalang siya bago ulit mag paalam na aalis para puntahan ang anak niya.
I'm sure that Isabella will kill me after this. She doesn't have any clue about her partner or the groom's men.
"Ms Assuncion? Picture po." Naka ngiting aniya ng photographer na hinire nila mommy and daddy.
Nag take pa kami ng ilang photos doon sa hotel room bago bumaba. Sumakay ako sa kotse na sasakyan ko and Isabella helped me with my gown.
Ng umandar na ang kotse ay hindi ko maiwasang kabahan. What would be my life after this? Masaya ba? Would Tyler love me back too? I hope so.
Ng tumigil kami sa tapat ng simbahan ay halos lumabas na ang puso ko sa dibdib ko sa sobrang bilis ng pagtibok nito. I'm nervous. So so much.
Nag take pa ng ilang pictures ang photographer ng tumayo ako sa harap ng nakasaradong pinto.
"Hi ma'am! Bubuksan na po natin yung pinto in 5 seconds." Aniya ng wedding organizer. Tumango nalang ako dito.
Yumuko ako at nag bilang.
5...
Would I really be happy?
4...
Magugustuhan niya din kaya ako?
3...
Would he hate me more?
2...
I wish the best for me...
1...
And for him...
I looked in the Door when I saw it open. May lumabas na usok sa tag gilid ng pinto. Kinakabahan ako. Nanginginig ang kamay ko na naka hawak sa bouquet. I gulped before taking one step.
I can see all of the guest looking at me na mas nag padagdag ng kaba ko. I can hear my heart beat. I can hear the music playing.
Nag patuloy ang paglakad ko sa red carpet papunta sa harap ng altar. I couldn't look in front kasi natatakot ako. Natatakot ako na makita ang emosyon sa mata ni Tyler. The photographer signaled me to look in front so I inhaled a huge amount of air before looking in front. Directly in his emotionless eyes.
I bit my Lower lip to stop myself from crying. When I look in his eyes I'm pretty sure I found the man I want to love for the rest of my life. But... He doesn't feel the same.
Naglakad ako papunta sa harapan at tumigil sa harap ng magulang ko at magulang niya.
"Your so pretty iha!" Bati sa akin ng ina ni Tyler.
"Thank you po Mrs. Laurent." I said.
"Oh no! Just call us mom and dad or tito and tita." She said. I just nod at them. Humarap ako sa magulang ko at hindi ko mapigilang maiyak.
"Shh... stop crying! This is your dream right?" Aniya ng mommy ko.
Yes. This is my dream. To get married to the man I love. But not like this. I want him to marry me because he loves me too and not because he was forced by his parents.
"M-mommy... I can't." I said. She just smiled.
"Don't worry my daughter. We'll always be here. Tyler is a good man. He will take care of you." Aniya ng daddy ko. I just nodd.
Sana. Sana talaga...
I looked in front at Nakatingin parin siya sa akin. Dahan dahan akong nag lakad papunta sa kanya at tumigil sa harap niya. I slowly looked into his eyes and now, I could see... Anger.
So as long as I live I love you
Will have and hold you
You look so beautiful in white
"T-Tyler..." mahinang tawag ko sa kanya but he didn't respond.
Humarap na kami sa pari at nagsimula na ang seremonya. He didn't looked at me even once. Gusto kong umiyak but I can't. Mas lalo siyang magagalit sa akin If I ruined this wedding.
Maya maya pa ay time na for our wedding vows. Nauna siya. We looked at each other. I looked at him full of love and adoration but he looked at me like I'm the last thing that he wants from this world.
It hurts me. So much.
"I Tyler Laurent, promise to be by your side no matter what happend and... and... I don't have anything to say since action speaks louder than words..." he said.
I heard the crowd laughed probably thinking that Tyler loves me too but they're wrong. I'm sure that he doesn't have anything to say since he doesn't love me and can't promise anything to me.
I gulped when the priest told me to tell my vow. Napalunok ako bago sabihin kay Tyler ang totoong nararamdaman ko.
It's better to tell it this way.
"Tyler... The first time I met you is when we're teens. When I saw you I told myself... He's my crush. I told myself that I like you. But as time goes by, my feeling for you deepen. Hindi nalang kita gusto. I love you Tyler. So much. I often wish na sana balang araw ay mapansin mo ako. Na sana maikasal tayo. And it came true."
Tumitingin lang siya sa akin ng walang emosyon sa mata. Huminga ako ng malalim bago magpatuloy.
"My wish came true. We are here in front. Sharing vows and getting married. And you don't know how happy I am. So I, Valentina Assuncion is more than willing to accept you, Tyler Laurent to be my wedded husband from this day, for better or for worse, for richer for poorer: in sickness and in health, I will always love you. So please... Give me chance to show my love for you. Let me take care of you. Let your heart love me too and I promise. I will never break it. That's how much I love you." I said looking at his eyes.
Tulad ng kanina ay wala parin itong kahit na anong emosyon.
Nag palitan na kami ng pag suot ng singsing at mas mabilis pa sa kidlat ang pag suot niya ng singsing sa kamay ko na para bang may nakakahawa akong sakit. I bit my Lower lip because of that.
I can feel my heart aching from so much pain.
"You may now kiss the bride." Aniya ng pari.
Itinaas niya ang Belo na nakatakip sa muka ko at mariin akong tinitigan. Dahan dahan siyang lumapit sa akin. He stop an inch before my face bago bumulong sa akin.
"I don't love you and I will never love you." He said before kissing me. I closed my eyes because of that.
His lips were so soft and tender when he kissed me. But I don't feel the love there. He kissed me like a slut. Like I'm just like his other girls. A toy.
Ramdam ko ang pag tulo ng luha sa mga mata ko na dumadaloy sa pisngi ko. People might think it's because of the joy but no. It's because of the pain.
When he let go of my lips he looked at me deadly. I can see anger in his eyes growing.
"I pronounce you husband and wife!" Anunsyo ng pari.
Nag hiyawan ang andoon at tuwang tuwa sa amin.
"You're just my wife at the paper. Just a wife." He said.
Just his wife…