Edna and Julius were fast asleep, while Rose gazed out at the illuminated houses below the Subic Clark Tarlac Expressway (SCTEx). Surrounded by darkness and trees, the eeriness of the place unsettled her. She found solace in the moonlight and the faint glow emanating from their vehicle. Rose, who had a fear of dark places, shivered as the cold air conditioner chilled her. She reached into her backpack and pulled out her jacket.
"Are you okay, Rose?" her dad asked, concerned. Rose didn't respond, intentionally avoiding conversation with her father.
"I know you're angry with me, and... I'm truly sorry," he admitted, eyes welling up with tears that he tried to conceal from his daughter.
Rose remained silent, pretending not to hear her dad's heartfelt apology. She zipped up her dark green jacket and leaned against the seat, fixating her gaze on each passing streetlight, purposely detaching herself from her father.
"Can you find it in your heart to forgive daddy, Rose? I never meant to hurt you, Julius, or your mom. I... I didn't tell you because..." her father's voice trailed off, overcome with emotion.
Unable to hold back his tears any longer, Roland wiped them away with the back of his hand.
"...I was terrified of losing all of you. You're my true family, and I love your mom, you, and Julius more than anything, even more than my own life," Roland confessed, his voice filled with sincerity.
Rose's tears now flowed uncontrollably. The weight of her father's words felt like her heart was attempting to escape its confines. Despite her anger, she loved him deeply, and ignoring his pleas hurt even more than the shocking revelation that morning. Overwhelmed with emotion, Rose turned away from her father, covering her tear-stained face with her jacket. She longed to ask him for an explanation, but something held her back. The sight of her father's tears tightened her chest, and she struggled to compose herself, fighting back the urge to sob. Determined to be strong, she believed she could overcome this ordeal. Her father's gaze met hers through the rearview mirror, a silent invitation to communicate.
"Dad?" Her voice trembled.
Roland glanced at his daughter in the mirror, his eyes filled with regret.
"Rose, I... I'm so sorry. I know you're angry with me. But-"
"Dad," she interrupted, taking a deep breath. "Why?" The question escaped her lips, accompanied by fresh tears streaming down her rosy cheeks.
Roland found himself speechless, his mouth agape, desperately searching for the right words that eluded him. He couldn't find an answer to her simple yet profound question. Biting his lower lip, he met Rose's gaze, her eyes pleading for an explanation.
"I..." His voice faltered, then he broke down into painful sobs.
Rose reached out, placing the jacket beside her, and covered her face once again. She didn't want to witness her father's anguish; it pained her deeply. While she understood her father's love for their family, she couldn't help but think of their other relatives. How would they accept this situation when they discovered that their father had another family? The weight of her emotions bore down heavily on her young shoulders.
"I beg you, Rose... forgive me," he pleaded once more, turning his head towards her, longing for her forgiveness. However, Rose appeared oblivious to his words.
"I wish I could forgive you, Dad," she whispered, her voice filled with sadness. With closed eyes, tears streamed down her cheeks. "But not now."
Desperate, Roland continued to implore, "Rose, please…"
Ignoring her father, Rose feigned sleep, unwilling to listen to his pleas. The long journey had left her feeling restless in her seat. She stretched her limbs and let out a tired yawn. Glancing at her phone, she realized there were no new messages; it was already 7:37 PM. Unbeknownst to her, she had slept for over an hour. Her mother and brother still slept soundly in their seats. Attempting to distract herself, Rose began counting the passing streetlights once more, deliberately averting her gaze from her father.
A neon sign from a nearby restaurant caught her attention, indicating that they had reached the town of San Antonio in Zambales. Rose sighed, knowing they still had at least another hour of travel before reaching the resort. She inserted her earphones, selecting music from her iPod to drown out the outside noise. Closing her eyes, she attempted to drift back to sleep.
Guilt gnawed at her conscience as she continued to ignore her father. Was her current approach truly beneficial to their family's situation? Or was it exacerbating their problems? Did she have the right to be angry with the man who had given her life? Despite his flaws, he was still her father, an unchangeable fact that lingered in her heart.
As the music played softly in her ears, Rose's thoughts wrestled with conflicting emotions. She couldn't deny the weight of guilt that burdened her, questioning her decision to ignore her father. Deep inside, she knew that her actions were not contributing to a solution for their family. Admitting her anger was justified, Rose still grappled with the realization that this man, flawed as he may be, was undeniably her father, and no amount of anger could change that truth.
Opening her eyes, she reluctantly removed her earphones and glanced at her father through the mirror. Roland's eyes were filled with a mix of longing and anguish, silently begging for her understanding. In that moment, Rose felt a profound sense of compassion and an overwhelming need for resolution.
Taking a deep breath, Rose gathered her strength and turned towards her father. "Dad," she called out, her voice quivering with vulnerability. "I... I want to understand."
Roland's expression shifted, a glimmer of hope appearing in his eyes. "Rose," he replied softly, his voice filled with a mixture of gratitude and regret. "I'm here to answer any questions you have. I want to make things right."
Tears welled up in Rose's eyes once again as she mustered the courage to voice her deepest concerns. "How can I forgive you for betraying our family, Dad? How can we move forward when everything feels so broken?"
Roland's face contorted with pain as he reached out, his hand trembling, hoping to convey his sincerity. "Rose, I never intended to hurt any of you. I made terrible mistakes, and I am deeply sorry. Please believe that I still love you and your mother, despite everything."
Rose nodded, her heart torn between the pain of betrayal and the desire for healing. "I want to believe you, Dad," she softly admitted, her voice laced with a mix of vulnerability and caution. "But it will take time. I need time to process everything and decide if forgiveness is possible."
Her father's face softened with understanding, tears mingling with relief. "Thank you, Rose. I respect that. I know that actions speak louder than words, and I am determined to earn your trust back."
As the car continued its journey, a fragile sense of hope emerged within the brokenness of their family. Rose knew that forgiveness would not come easily, but the willingness to rebuild and mend their fractured relationship was the first step towards healing. With time, patience, and open hearts, their journey towards reconciliation had begun.
As thoughts of her father's legal family consumed her mind, Rose couldn't help but feel a mixture of pity and guilt. She wondered if his wife and siblings were aware of his other life in the Philippines. How did they handle the truth, if they knew? Questions about the extent of her father's hidden secrets plagued her thoughts. What other truths did he keep hidden? The weight of her guilt intensified, knowing that there were others out there who might be experiencing the same conflicting emotions.
Once more, Rose found herself staring out of the car window at the melancholic countenance of the moon. The gentle notes of classical music filled the car, gradually lulling her into a state of drowsiness. A yawn escaped from her lips as she leaned against the car door, leaving a faint trace of moisture on the glass. With her index finger, she absentmindedly traced a heart-shaped pattern on the condensation. Yet, amidst the tranquility, the words of her conversation with her dad continued to echo in her mind, replaying relentlessly like an unwavering echo.
As she looked at her father, memories of their once happy times together flooded Rose's mind. She recalled the moments she cherished, grateful for the blessings of a complete and joyous family. In the past, she silently thanked her lucky stars for having a family that others envied. Many of her classmates faced the pain of broken families, and Rose empathized with their struggles.
However, the discovery she had made shattered the illusion of her picture-perfect family. The realization set in that she was no different from her classmates who experienced similar hardships. The fate she once believed was reserved for others had now become her own. The weight of this truth pressed upon her, and she contemplated the challenging road ahead.