The feeling was freeing. Para siyang nakawala sa matagal na pagkakakulong. Not literally though. Because it was a lie that held her captive for some time. A lie that broke her heart in almost unrecoverable pieces.
"I'm not a Fontanilla. We are not related, Hope." Kaden continued, she had stopped and he stayed where he was standing, a few feet away from her.
Naramdaman ni Hope ang tila pagbuhol ng kanyang sikmura. Kung isang napakasakit na biro ng buhay sa kanya ang maging pinsan si Kaden, para namang isang malaking sorpresa na malamang hindi totoo iyon. Pero hindi nga ba? Paano nangyari iyon?
"I am dad's son to his first wife." Sabi nito as if reading her mind. "Agatha Fontanilla is not my mother, Hope. We are not blood-related. Not even a drop."
She wanted to face him, run to him, hug him and kiss him. But she stayed rooted on her spot as if she couldn't move.
Because despite that wonderful fact, one thing remains unchanged. At iyon malamang, hindi na magbabago.
"So what?" Were the words she uttered kahit iba sana ang gusto niyang sabihin.
"Gusto kita." Naramdaman niya ang binata sa likod niya mismo. He put his both hands on her shoulders in an attempt to spun her around.
"You're getting married," she refused.
"You like me too, right, Hopie?" He asked instead.
"Kaden." Inalis niya ang mga kamay nito at nilingon ang binata.
She hadn't expected what she saw in his eyes. There was an undeniable uncertainty in his blue orbs and a small hint of fear too. Of what?
"I can be your Rain, Hope. I can be whoever you see in me. I just ---" he cupped her face. "I just want you to feel the same way."
Napapikit siya. The offer was too good to refuse. Hell, he didn't even need to ask her to love him because she had never fallen out of love for him.
He didn't need to pretend as Rain because he was Rain in the first place. And she would happily love him at any cost.
Pero 'yon ay kung kaya niyang may masaktang iba habang masaya siya. Zoey would suffer. Okay sana kung siya ang nauna kay Kaden. But no, Zoey had him first.
"Hope, I like you so much. Gustuhin mo lang ako at pangako, I wouldn't care if it wasn't really me whom you like but Rain Sanchez. As long as I'm the one you're with. Nothing would matter anymore."
He already cheated on Zoey once when he was in San Gabriel with her. Kahit wala ang alaala nito, alam nito ang pagkatao nito at ang katotohanang meron itong girlfriend. She wouldn't let him cheat with her again.
Kung magpapakatotoo siya, malaking bagay na sa kanya ang malamang hindi niya ito pinsan. It unloaded so much guilt that she had harboured since she was fed with that lie of kinship. At ang mahulog ulit ito sa kanya sa kabila ng pagiging Kaden nito ay labis ng nakapagpasaya sa kanya. Hindi man siya maalala ng isip nito, his heart obviously remembers her...
And it's enough for Hope. She wouldn't ask for more.
"Like is too much of an understatement, Kaden... I don't like Rain. I love him. It's different." Sabi niyang hinawakan ang mga kamay nito sa pisngi niya. "Don't do this. You said it yourself, you're getting married."
Napalunok ito. Alam niya sa mga tingin nito that he was torn. She knew it, confused lang ang binata. He wasn't inlove with her. It's Zoey still.
"You will always be my cousin and my family." She smiled, one that appeared too fake than she wanted. "Don't hurt, Zoey. You two are meant for each other." Ibinaba niya ang mga kamay nito.
"I'm going to break up with her," he declared, refusing to let go of her hand.
"Kaden!" She was surprised.
"Kung 'yon lang ang inaalala mo, then save your worries. Hindi ko itutuloy ang kasal."
"You can't do that!"
Pinangunutan lang siya nito ng noo bago mabagal na ngumiti, melting her resolve in the process. So she could handle everything but his smile. It's always enough to make her fall over and over again.
"Of course I can," sabi nito sabay hila sa kanya palabas ng kusina at palabas ng kabahayan.
She wanted to protest. But her feet have their own mind and followed Kaden willingly. Her mind's refusal couldn't win over her heart's desire. And it wanted to be with Kaden. It longed to be with the man that causes it to beat.
*****
"ZOEY, we have to talk," sabi ni Kaden na kausap ang babae sa telepono.
Hope watched him talk to his girlfriend while she was lying on his bed. Masaya siya. There was no denying anymore.
Nasa condo sila ni Kaden. Doon siya nito dinala kagabi. He said he just wanted a private time with her. Sa bahay kasi nila, they needed to pretend as cousins.
At hindi raw nito gusto iyon.
"Pretending as your cousin is the hardest thing that I had to do ever since I found out that you are Isabella," he said habang binubuksan ang condo unit nito.
"I didn't notice that."
"I'm a good actor." He smirked in her direction.
"Seriously, Kaden." Kumapit siya sa braso ng binata. "Tell me I'm not dreaming."
"You're not dreaming." He pushed the door open and led her inside. "We're not cousins. I wouldn't allow us to be relatives." Kinabig siya nito palapit as soon as they entered his unit. "Coz I hated it so much that I couldn't do what I've always wanted to do with you."
"What?" A playful smile curved her lips.
"Kiss you." He bent and claimed her lips. This time, she kissed him back with an equal intensity that his kiss had progressed into in a few seconds.
She missed him. She missed holding him and kissing him like that.
Ikinawit niya ang mga braso sa batok nito as he pulled her closer to him like he wanted her to become part of him literally.
She was feeling wonderful in his arms. She was ready to melt for him coz she knew Kaden would keep every part of her together.
"Let's get you to bed now, Hopie," he whispered hoarsely before sweeping her off her feet and carrying her to his bed. Maingat siya nitong inilapag na parang yari sa babasaging materyal ang kanyang katawan. "I am just a man. I am no saint. And your kiss, my love, is inviting trouble." He kissed her forehead habang naramdaman naman niyang sumabog ang init sa mukha niya. She was sure her face just became tomato red. "I badly need a very cold shower. Good night." He gave her a quick kiss on her lips after pulling the blanket up to her chin. Tapos ay mabilis itong tumalikod papunta sa banyo.
After he tucked her into bed, she just pretended to be asleep. Sino namang makakatulog agad sa kabila ng lahat ng mga pangyayari? She'd rather savour the moment than fall asleep.
When Kaden returned from the shower after a really long time, lumapit pa ito sa kanya para halikan siya sa pisngi. He then walked towards the sofa.
Nang matiyak niyang tulog na ang binata, pinagmasdan niya ito. His tall frame hardly got accommodated by the seat pero parang wala ito sa binata. He fell asleep peacefully like he hadn't made a very rush decision of telling her he likes her.
So she also made a not so hasty decision to fight for their love no matter what. If Kaden who was set to marry another woman in a few weeks was willing to give up everything to be with her, why couldn't she do the same?
At ngayon nga, kakausapin nito si Zoey. Gustuhin man niya itong samahan para silang dalawa ang haharap kay Zoey, Kaden refused.
Para daw kay Zoey iyon. Last respect, he said.
"I'll pick you up. No, I'm not in the hospital. Alright. See you."
Nilingon siya ni Kaden pagkababa nito ng telepono.
"Do you want to go home now, Hopie?" He asked.
"Not exactly." Tinabihan siya ng binata sa kama nito at ikinulong siya sa isang masuyong yakap "I want to stay here with you," she added.
"I'll just talk to Zoey. Tapos babalik ako kaagad."
"You know that I am not asking you to do this, right?"
"Alam ko. Pero kailangan. I want to make things right. Ayokong lokohin ka o si Zoey by keeping both of you. I need to choose one." Inangkin nito ang mga labi niya in a sweet slowly way. "And I'm choosing you, Hopie..."
She felt tears warm her eyes. Kaden chose her.
"I love you, Kaden!" She blurted out.
"I'm in love with you too, Hope Ferreira." He smiled before kissing her again.
*****
KINAILANGAN si Kaden sa ospital kaya hindi ito natuloy na kausapin si Zoey. Si Hope naman ay inihatid na lang ng binata sa Isabella's.
Magaan ang pakiramdam ng dalaga. Whatever problem that would arise later on dahil sa bagong relasyon nila ni Kaden ay saka na niya iisipin.
Ang importante ngayon ay masaya sila pareho.
"Chef Hope, a customer asked for you," sabi ni Sofia, isa sa mga waitress nila sa restaurant.
"Alright. Sandali lang." Inayos muna niya ang sarili bago lumabas sa tinukoy na table ng kasamahan.
Hope's prepared smile and courtesy vanished when she saw who asked for her. Kevin Tiu stood up as soon as he caught sight of her. Nakita na siya nito kaya hindi na siya makaurong.
"What are you doing here?" Walang kangiti-ngiting asik niya sa mababang tinig.
"Hope, let's talk," pakiusap nito.
"We're over, Kevin," matigas niyang tugon.
"Hope, I'm sorry. I really am. Inaamin ko na mali ako. Pero mahal talaga kita. And I can't give you up just like that."
"Hindi man lang dapat sumagi sa isip mo na lokohin ako kung talagang mahal mo ako, Kevin." Naupo na lang siya para iwasang makakuha ng atensyon ang pag-uusap nila ng binata.
"I know, I was wrong."
Huminga siya nang malalim. Hindi lang naman pagkakamali nito ang dahilan kaya siya nakipaghiwalay. Malaking parte ng desisyon niya ay ang pagmamahal niya kay Kaden. So she couldn't blame everything to Kevin. Looking at him, guilt and regret were written all over his face. She felt na kailangan niyang pagaanin ang pakiramdam nito even just for old times sake.
"Kev," umpisa niya. "It's better this way. Siguro hindi talaga tayo para sa isa't isa."
"Hope, let's try again. I promise you, I'll be faithful this time."
"That won't work."
"Why not?"
"Because I don't love you." She was looking straight into his eyes kaya nakita niya kung paano mawalan ng buhay ang mga mata nito. "I'm sorry."
Kevin dropped his gaze for a full minute bago ito muling tumingin sa kanya.
"Thank you for being honest." He forced a defeated smile.
"I'm sorry."
"No. It's my fault. Hindi kita inalagaan." Tumayo na ito. "I had the chance. I wasted it."
"It's not entirely your fault."
"Allow me to take the blame."
Kevin hugged her one last time tapos nagpaalam na ito nang tuluyan.
Hope felt sad. Pero sa nasirang pagkakaibigan nila siya nasasayangan at hindi sa naunsyami nilang relasyon.
But maybe some things aren't really meant to stay even the one that started out as a beautiful friendship.