CHANGE...
Isa at kalahating buwan na simula nang napunta ako rito. I've learned also how to  make sword. Naging normal na sa akin ang pagpunta araw-araw sa Ferye. Sometimes, Zeather check upon us about our progress.
Nalaman ko na rin kung paano humulma ng isang sandata, at kung anong hulma ang mas matibay.
It's provides me profuse amusement.
"Janeliene," Maydel shouted.
"Just wait! I'll be there, five minutes more." I replied, pettish.
"Late na naman tayo." she uttered, frustrated. "Leine, you're so hard-headed. Hindi ba't sabi ko sa'yo na matulog ka nang maaga. Mamaya galit na naman si Kuya." she added.
"Bakit siya magagalit? " I asked, smiling. Does he have the rights to be mad? Siya nga ang rason kung bakit late na naman akong nagising.
"Late na naman tayo." she said, pettish.
Kung hindi lang naman ako sinundo ng kuya mo, edi sana hindi ako late ngayon. Maydel is really fond of being on time. Even in our class in human world, she doesn't get late.
Pero hindi ko gustong sabihin kay Maydel na sinundo ako ni Zane dito. Ma-issue pa naman 'yan. I don't want to put myself in trouble. Even if I have a fuel right now, I won't make a  fire.
"Why are you acting like that? Hindi tayo papatayin ng Kuya mo." I answered her, peevish. Sa tingin ko nga, nagpapaligsahan nalang kami nitong si Maydel kung sino ang mas maldita sa amin.
"Baka dumating si Zeather. Pag nagkataon, dila lang natin walang sugat." he said in a sudden.
I laughed with what she said. "What did you say?" tanong ko kahit narinig ko naman.
Biglang nag-iba ang ekspresiyon niya nang mapagtanto ang kaniyang sinabi.
Minabuti kong ibahin na lang ang usapan.
"Kaysa problemahin mo na late tayo, mas problemahin mo si Physke. Ano bang ginagawa nun bakit palagi 'yung late." wika ko sa kaniya at tumawa.
I thought she'll laugh, but she didn't. Nanatiling seryoso ang kaniyang ekspresyon. Bigla rin akong tumahimik at tumingin sa kaniyang direksyon.
"What's wrong?" I asked. Umiling siya bilang sagot at saka ngumiti. I know there's something wrong.
"Am I not deserving to know?" I asked her. Kung hindi, ayos lang naman sa akin.
Pero hindi ko maipagkakaila na nakakapagtampo. That means, hindi ako  mapagkakatiwalaan sa kanilang sikreto. I know, I'm kinda loqacious, but I know how to keep a secret—I really do. Lalo na sa mga malalapit sa akin.
It's akward to admit that I'm now getting attach to them. I know it's kinda weird it's only one month and a half, but I'm willing to spend the rest with them. I feel like, I belong here. They also made me realize a lot of things. Like for Physke, she's so happy-go-lucky person, so I'm always blissful when I'm with her.
For Medes, I'm being more serious, because Medes is not a jocular type of woman. What I really admire about Medes is that—she can stand on her own. She's an independent woman. And I think that's a great power that she holds. Paminsan-minsan ay tinuturuan niya rin ako gumawa ng mga mabibisang gamot gamit ang mga halaman.
I also gained knowledge when it comes to incantion because of her. Medes is not greedy of her knowledge. As long she has a new knowledge, she's willing to share it.
"Can you please hurry-up? Why are you so calm? Baka pumunta sa Ferye ngayon si Zeather. " wika niya.
I was stunned by the moment. Minadali ko ang aking pag-aayos. I just wore a simple-black dress. I partnered it with black and white crochet flat.
"Let's go." wika ko at tumayo na.
It's not that we're afraid of Zeather. It's more of a respect. We respect him a lot, because he really showed us what leadership is.
"You know what? I really admire how Zeather lead us." I said, smiling. Malayong-malayo ang mundong ito sa kinagisnan ko.
"Yung pinunong mas madalas makinig sa problema ng iba kaysa magsalita at maging dahilan ng problema." I added.
Binuksan na niya ang kaniyang kuwarto, at lumabas na kami.
"All of us admire Zeather. Kahit pinuno na natin siya, gumagawa rin siya ng sandata. He's also altering it to the Santonilya folks." she informed me.
Napatigil ang aming pag-uusap nang makarating kami sa Fer Shed. Nagulat ako nang makitang narooon na si Physke. It's my first time to see her on time.
"Physke," tawag ko sa kaniya nang makarating kami si Fer shed ni Maydel.
She turned to me. "Hmmm?" she asked lazily. Her aura is not the usual aura that she used to accoutre.
Hindi naman ako gaano ka martir, kahit paano ay   marunong naman akong  makiramdam.
"You're not late?" I asked.
"I'm late. Sadyang mas late ka lang dumating." she answered.
I didn't answer her again, because I really feel that she has a big problem. Nahuli kong nakatingin si Zane sa akin.
Nang makita niyang nahuli ko siya pumunta siya sa aking gilid. "Goodmorning!" he whispered huskily.Pinagtitinginan kami ng aming kasamahan. Even Maydel throws me a death glare. 
Bakas ang antok sa kaniyang boses. But the freshness of his looks tells otherwise. He's really handsome—or can I say—beyond handsome.
"You didn't respond." he whispered again. Biglang nagsitayuan ang mga balahibo ko dahil nakikiliti ako sa kaniyang pagbulong.
He  suddenly grabbed my wrist. "Maydel, " he called her sister.
Nang nasa Ferye na kami ay nauna akong pumsok at hindi siya pinansin.
I don't have any valid reason why I don't want to talk to him—I just don't want to.
"Aqro Leroa!" bating pambungad ni Zeather
"33 minutes and 4.5 seconds late." nagulat kami nang naka-upo si Zander sa lamesa. Ang ibang mga gumagawa   ng sandata ay napalingon sa kaniya.
Ferye is full of Fareah's folks.
We're just seperated by floor for classification.
"You can make a semi-sword with a width of 0.5 centimeters and a length  0.9. Hindi ba't masyadong mahalaga ang oras na iyon. Give me some valid reason why are you late!" he said, serious.
Naiyuko ko ang aking ulo. I don't know what to say, because I know I don't have any valid reason; all of my reasons are invalid.
"Just be reminded that we're making sword for living. Swords means food. Every minutes and seconds that you're wasting means you're wasting that amount of food. Wala sa plano kong may makitang nagugutom sa aking hukbo." he said firmly.
I'm having goosebumps the way he uttered every words. It growls for so much respect.
"I give you all enough time for rest, so please do also give enough time for work." wika pa niya.
Lahat kami ay nakayuko lang habang nagsasalita siya. "How many times did I told you all that don't bow down your heads, we're all equal here. I'm giving you advices. I know that someday, you'll gonna be more knowledgeable than me. Mas magiging matalino pa kayo sa akin, and I can see that coming." mahabang pagsasalita niya.
"But this is for sure—you'll never be wiser than me." he said. That moment, I know I'm  talking to real leader. He gained my respect so much.
"I have an annoucemet that's why I'm here. "mapirming wika niya. His aura screams power and so much respect.
"Zane," he called Zane.
"You'll be sharing your knowledege to Janeliene tomorrow. Hindi pa niya masyadong alam kung paano ang tamang paggamit ng kaniyang kapangyarihan." he said.
"All of you will be practicing your trascendent powers. Medes, you can roam around for your new experiments. I formulate some incantations. Kunin mo nalang mamaya sa aking kuwarto. Physke, sumama ka na rin mamaya may Medes, may ipapagaya ako sa'yong anyo.  Zequi, you'll be going to La Beñoa tomorrow. Kunin mo roon ang mga bagong kasangkapan." wika ni Zeather.
He said his goodbye after his annoucement. Bumalik rin kami sa sarili naming ginagawa matapos niyang maka-alis. Hindi man lang ako nakahingi ng patawad. I know that I'm the reason why we got scolded.
Mayhap, after this.
Umupo na kami sa aming mga puwesto at nagsimulang gumawa ng sandata. Hindi ako mapakali ngayong nalaman kong si Zane ang magtuturo sa akin bukas. Pinilig ko ang aking ulo at pinilit ang sarili na h'wag isipin 'yon. He's not sparkplug.
"Saan ka galing kagabi, Zane?" Zequi asked him.
Napalunok ako sa sinabi ni Zequi, pinilit kong ipokus ang aking utak sa aking ginagawa.
"What?" supladong tanong ni Zane.
"Sabi ko saan ka galing kagabi?" Zequi asked again.
"Breathed some fresh air." he answered coldly.
"Ahh..." sagot ni Zequi at nagpatuoy sa kaniyang ginagawa.
"May problema ka ba, Kuya?" Maydel asked him, worried.
"I'm okay!" he smiled at Maydel, and he then patted Maydel's head and kissed her forehead.
That's his favourite gestures. He loves  patting the head of Maydel, and he kissed her forehead afterwards.
Tumagal ang paggawa namin ng ilang oras, at nangangalay na aking likod.
"Are you guys hungry?" Medes asked suddenly.
"Kain muna tayo." wika pa ni Physke.
No one disagreed,so we ate our lunch in Fer Gerwan. Katulad ng dati, tinapay lang ang kinain ko. Nang una, hindi ko kaya. Later on, I'm used to it.
Nang matapos ang buong maghapon, nagdesisyon akong pumunta kay Zeather. I want to say sorry on behalf of them. In the first place, I deserve to be blamed. Hindi ko lang kaya pang humingi ng tawad sa kanila, dahil nahihiya pa ako.
Maybe, one day, I can do that. Nakakatawang isipin na isa sa nga rason ko kung bakit hindi ko iyon magawa ay... walang may nagturo sa akin. No one taught me to say sorry even  when I'm at fault; no one taught me be considerate of others. I think, that's gross.
"Leine, where are you going ?" tanong ni Maydel. I don't want them to know. Nahihiya ako.
"May pupuntahan lang, babalik din kaagad ako. Mauna ka na lang, susunod ako." I said, and I ran.
Nakapunta na rin ako sa kuwarto ni Zeather kaya pamilyar na ako sa daan kahit gaano pa kalawak ang Fareah.
I knocked, but no one answered. I knocked again.
"Janeliene, come in." he uttered. Namamangha pa rin ako kung paano niya nahuhulaan.
Naabutan ko siyang gumagawa ng sandata. He's really pure-blooded leader. Kung ano ang ginagawa naming pinamumunuan niya ay ganoon rin ang kaniyang ginagawa.
"Bakit pa po kayo gumagawa ng sandata? Hindi ba't masayadong ng marami ang gumagawa?" I asked, confused.
"Kumakain rin ako, kaya anong karapatan kong hindi gumawa?" he asked. I was astonished by his answer.
His words of wisdom is beyond imaginable.
"You're forgiven." wika niya. Napa-angat ako ng aking tingin.
"P-po?" I stuttered.
"You're forgiven, I said." he uttered and then he smiled.
"I haven't say sorry yet." nahihiyang sambit ko sa kaniya.
"Miss Guilsovia, sometimes the most wonderful act of forgiveness is being able to forgive someone without asking for their sorry. "he said. "You know why that's the most wonderful act?"  he asked.
Nahihiya akong umiling sa kaniya. "Hindi ko po alam." nahihiya kong sagot. "Kayabangan lang po ata alam ko." dagdag ko pa.
Bigla siyang tumawa ng malakas.
"Because forgiving only means that you don't want  to feel the misery anymore. " he said.
"It's doesn't mean that you're giving excuses to their mistakes; it only means that you're capable of accepting that everyone can make a wrong move. " dagdag pa niya. Pakiramdam ko ang luwag ng aking nararamdaman sa mga sinasabi niya.
Nagulat ako nang biglang may kumatok.
"Pasok, Medes at Physke." wika ni Zeather. Nakalimutan ko nga pa lang may pinapakuha si Zeather kina Physke and Medes.
"Mauuna na po ako." sabi ako at tumango naman siya.
"Aqro Viler!" paalam niya.
"Aqro Viler!" paalam ko rin at binuksan ang pintuan.
When I opened the door, Medes and Physke was aghast when they saw me.
"Dito ka pala pumunta, Leine." wika sa akin ni Medes.
Tumango ako sa kanila."Mauuna na ako." paalam ko at saka umalis.
Maydel , Zequi, and Zane was sitting on the Fer Shed. When Maydel saw me, she immediately stood up.
Lumapit ako sa kaniya. "I told not to wait for me." I said.
"Did  I answer you that I won't?" she asked, pettish. Damn! This girl!
"Vueno Lexio! " inipon niya ang kaniyang gamit, at handa nang umalis.
"We will wait for Physke and Medes. " matigas na sambit ni Zane kaya napatigil kami.
"I always remind the both of you that we will wait for each other even if  someone has some errands to do." he coldly said.
"I'm sorry, Kuya." Maydel said.
Nang makarating si Medes at Physke, hinatid nila kami ni Zequi. Nauna si Maydel na pumasok sa kuwarto. I was about to to enter the room when Zane grabbed my wrist.
"I'll fetch you later." he whispered.
"No way! Ano ka sparkplug?" mataray na tanong ko sa kaniya.
"I ain't sparkplug, pero pluging ikaw." he answered. Alam ko na ikalawang beses na niyang sabihin 'yan, but it does hits different.
"Pasok kana; aalis na rin ako."he said softly. Sumunod ako sa gusto niyang mangyari.
"Anong pinag-usapan niyo ni kuya, Leine?" Maydel asked.
"Wala. I have something to ask, Del." I said. Naisip ko lang rin 'to kanina.
"Asan magulang niyo?" I asked. Nakikita ko rin kasi na may mga matatanda silang manggawa rito. Ang iba ay kasama pa nila ang kanilang anak, at tinuturuan rin nila itong gumawa ng sandata.
"Wala na kaming magulang lahat. Namatay sila nang  sa unang digmaan— ang Zezaran. You still remember when I told you the Goitera—the river. " she paused.
Umupo muna siya, at ganoon rin ang aking ginawa. "Ang Loaroqa ay iisang napakalaking lugar lamang. Ang pinagsama-samang kapangyarihan nina Medea, Zeather, at Santonilya ang naging dahilan kung bakit nabuo ito. Nakatira rin sila nang una sa mundo ng mga tao. Nang nalaman nilang may kapangyarihan silang tatlo, nag-ipon sila ng mga taong may mga iba't ibang kapangyarihan. Ginawa nila ang tahanang ito. They made this fief for those who have transcedent powers. A kind of fief that needs no fee. " pagku-kwento niya.
"Pero iyon nga nagtaksil si Santonilya at Zeather kay Medea. Hindi nalaman ni Zeather na nagpahayag ng digmaan ni Medea kay Santonilya. Marami rin ang nalagas sa hukbo ni Santonilya, pero halos wala ng natira sa hukbo ni Medea. Bilang pagputol sa kanilang samahan, gumawa si Santonilya ng mga ilog na nagparte-parte nito. That's why the three folks formed." pagsasalaysay niya.
"Pero bakit gumagawa pa kayo ng sandata? Bakit nahati kayo sa tatlo, bakit hindi sa dalawa?" tanong ko.
"Dahil pinagsisihan ni Zeather ang ginawa niya kay Medea. Kaya ganon na lamang ang galit ni Santonilya. Kaya walang nagawa si Zeather kundi magbigay ng kasunduan." she said.
"Ang sandatang ginagawa natin ay magagamit nila laban sa itim na mahika ng mga taga Diablerie. Kaya kalaunan ay pumayag na rin si Santonilya. Masyadong marami ang hukbo ni Santonilya. I think 1/4 only of her folks has sword. Kaya patuloy tayong gumagawa ng sandata para mabigyan silang lahat." she uttered.
"At kapag nabigyan silang lahat?" I asked.
" Magpapahayag ng ikalawang matinding digmaan si Santonilya." she answered.
"Hindi ba't si Santonilya ang pinakamakapangyarihan sa lahat? " I asked her.
"Yes, " she answered.
"Then why fear Medea?" naguguluhan kong tanong. Bakit sila matatakot kay Medea gayong kaya namang ipaglaban ni Santonilya ang kaniyang hukbo.
"Yes, Santonilya is the most powerful, but Diablerie folks is something, Leine. Sa mundo pa lamang ng mga tao, nag-ipon na si Medea ng mga malalakas na mababarang at mangkukulam." she said.
"Ligo ka na." she said. Pina-una ko nalang siyang maligo habang ina-absorba pa ang lahat ng mga sinasabi niya.
"Your turn. Matutulog na ako mamaya. " nang lumabas siya ay ako naman ang naglinis ng katawan.
When  I finished took a bath, tulog na si Maydel. Maya-maya, may kumatok.
My heart is rapidly beating, and I don't know why. Tiningnan ko muna ang aking sarili sa salamin. I'm wearing a floral dress. Naglagay ako ng perfume bago lumabas.
"Vueno Lexio!" he said. Damn! Paano niya nagagawa sa akin to.
"Saan?" I asked.
"You smell good." he complimented.
Bigla akong napalunok sa kaniyang sinabi.
"You didn't answer me." I said.
"Hindi mo pa ako nililigawan." he replied coldly. What the hell!
"Sasagutin mo ako, o sasakalin kita?" naiinis na tanong ko sa kaniya.
"Hindi mo pa nga ako nililigawan." he repeated.
"Fine, hindi ako sasama sa'yo." padabog kong sabi at tumalikod. Bigla niyang hinawakan ang aking kamay.
"Okay, I'm sorry!" he said.
Hinawakan niya ang aking kamay habang naglalakad, at para akong tanga dahil hindi ko magawang kunin iyon mula sa kaniya.
Pumunta kami sa isang ilog. "Dito nagsisimula ang goitera ng Fareah. " he informed me. Hindi ko alam kung bakit niya ako dinala rito.
"Then?" I asked. Umupo siya sa tabi ng ilog.
"Wala lang. Come here." hinala niya ako at napaupo ako sa kaniya. He rested his chin on my shoulder.
"Do you like Xandier?" he asked in a sudden. Bigla akong nagulat sa kaniyang tanong.
"He's my bestfriend." I answered.
"It's a yes-or-no question, Jan." he said icily. Still, I'm not used the way he calls me.
"I guess, your answer is yes. " hindi ako nakasagaot sa kaniya. Do I really like Xandier?
"Don't like him." seryosong wika niya.
"Why?" I asked.
"Z" sambit niya. He hugged me from behind.
Saka ko nalang na realisa na Z kasi ang sunod ng Why(Y) ay Z.
"You can't be the best version of yourself when you're with him. He's not letting you change." pangangatwiran niya.
"Because he's letting me embrace the true me. Hindi ko kailangan ibahin ang sarili ko para magustuhan ng iba" I defended Xandier.
"CHANGING FOR YOURSELF IS WAY DIFFERENT FROM CHANGING FOR OTHERS."
A/ N
Loaroqan words and its meaning :
Goitera- river
Vueno Lexio- Let's go!
Aqro Viler- Goodbye!
I blue y'all!