Napabuga na lang ako ng hangin at saka hinilot ang aking ulo.
Cassia is so stupid for falling in love to someone like the a-hole two-faced crown prince.
Bakit ba kasi sa tulad pa niya nagkagusto si Cassia? Kung hindi sana siya nagkagusto sa lalaking iyon edi sana hindi siya namatay.
Pero teka nga. Bakit ba ako agitated at nagpapaka-stress dahil lang kay Cassia? If an avid reader of that novel hear me defending the side of the main villainess and talking shit about the male lead, I would have to receive lots of hate. Geez.
But really, why can't I stop myself from thinking about Cassia? She's the main villainess of the novel. Is it because we are somehow similar in a way that we both seek the feeling of being loved?
Tch. Yeah, whatever. But that's only it. I'm not like Cassia who's stupid on choosing a guy who had less interest and acts cold towards me.
Like, sinong tanga ang ipagpipilitan ang sarili nila sa taong harap-harapan kung ipakita ang pagka disgusto nila sa'yo?
Hindi ka lang tanga. Kundi isa ka ring saksakan ng pagka-martyr.
Who in the world would even want to be a laughingstock of the whole empire? None, right?
I snapped back nang marinig ko ang tunog ng pagkatok ng pinto. Napabaling ako doon at nakita si Belle na pumasok sa loob.
Bumangon naman ako sa pagkakahiga at umupo ng naka-indian sit.
"Ari, ano ... pwedeng ikaw na muna ang bumili ng pagkain natin para sa hapunan? Hindi ko pa rin kasi tapos 'yong thesis ko eh."
Nahihiyang sabi ni Belle habang pinaglalaruan ang kaniyang mga daliri. Ang cute cute niya talaga.
Hindi pa ganoon katagal na naging dorm mate ko si Belle. She's a sophomore who just transferred to Benison University just this semester. Kaya mag-po-four months pa lamang kaming magkasama.
"Sure, sige ako na ang bibili." Sagot ko. "How about barbeque for dinner? I heard the new store just across the campus main gate just opened."
Nakita ko naman ang pagkinang ng mata niya nang banggitin ko ang barbeque. Mukhang gusto niya iyon.
"Kol! Barbeque na lang ang ulamin natin. Waaah! I can't remember when was the last time I ate barbeque, last last month pa ata iyon."
"Then barbeque it is."
Bumaba na ako sa kama at saka dumeretso ng lakad sa may cabinet ko at kumuha ng damit pamalit doon. Magbibihis muna ako ng komportableng damit bago lumabas.
"Belle, mag-saing ka na ng kanin sa rice cooker para kakain na lang tayo pagbalik ko. Okay?"
Sigaw ko mula sa may pinto papasok ng CR. Nasa sala kasi bumalik si Belle para tapusin ang ginagawa nitong thesis paper.
"Oo! Makasete!"
Pumasok na ako sa loob ng CR at doon nagpalit ng damit. Nang matapos ay nagpaalam na ako kay Belle na aalis na para bumili ng ulam sa labas.
"Iyong may taba, Aria ha? Gusto ko iyong may taba siya. Tapos yung suka maanghang!"
Palabas na ako ng pinto pero narinig ko pa rin ang sigaw na iyon ni Belle. Natawa na lang ako kasi pangatlong beses na niyang ulit na sinabi sa akin iyon.
Naglakad na ako pababa ng dorm building at saka naglakad patungo sa main gate ng University.
The sky was already colored orange as I stepped out of the girls' dorm building, it was already sunset.
May ilang mga students pa rin na nagkalat sa may field at sa oval. Alas-8 ng gabi naman kasi ang curfew namin, at alas-5 y media pa lamang.
Halos sampong minuto rin ang nilakad ko bago ako makarating sa main gate. Sobrang laki kasi ng Campus at medyo may kalayuan ang dorms sa main gate.
Naabutan ko pa si Kuya Holden na siyang Guard na naka-duty sa may guard house.
"Kuya Holden!" Pagtawag ko dito.
Lumingon naman siya sa direksyon ko at nang ako ay makita ay sumilay ang ngiti sa kaniyang labi. Kilala kasi ako nito dahil naging dorm mate ko noon ang anak niyang si Faith na kaka-graduate lang last year.
Si Faith ang nauna kong dorm mate bago naging si Belle. Isa rin siya sa pinaka matalik kong kaibigan. Even up until now, nagkikita at nag-uusap pa rin kami ni Faith. Although as of the moment ay busy siya dahil sa paghahanap ng kumpanyang mapapasukan niya.
"Oh! Aria, lalabas ka ba? Saan ang punta mo?" Tanong nito.
"Bibili lang po ng ulam. Dinig ko bagong bukas daw ngayon 'yong barbeque-han d'yan malapit sa may tulay eh." Pagsagot ko.
"Ay! Oo nga. Kayla Doris ang barbeque-han na iyon. Masarap ang barbeque nila don. Oh siya sige na't lumakad na ikaw at baka abutin ka pa ng curfew. Marami pa man din ang customers nila ngayon."
Tumango na lamang ako sa kaniya at naglakad na paalis. At nang makarating ako sa barbeque-han ay totoo nga ang sinabi ni Kuya Holden. Marami ngang tao ang nasa loob at labas ng barbeque-han. Napakahaba rin ng pila sa labas.
Dinig ko mula sa isang nakapila rin na schoolmate ko ay dahil sa first opening ngayon ay may limang pisong discount daw ang barbeque. Ngunit bukas ay ibabalik din nila iyon sa orihinal nitong presyo.
"Hi, Senior Aria."
Gulat akong napalingon sa may likuran ko nang marinig ko na may tumawag sa aking pangalan.
It was a girl who's a little shorter than me, has long straight black hair, and a pretty looking face. Pamilyar ang kaniyang mukha, para bang nakita ko na siya noon pero hindi ko maalala kung saan.
She called me Senior. Probably an underclassman. Pero hindi naman siya mukhang freshie. Could she be a sophomore just like Belle?
"H-Hello..."
Awkward akong ngumiti sa kaniya at bumati. I don't know but I feel uncomfortable with this girl. There's something off about how she is smiling sweetly at me.
"Bibili ka rin ng barbeque, Senior?" Tanong pa nito.
Ah hindi. Hamburger talaga 'yong bibilhin ko. Ha ha ha. Tch. Bakit ba feeling close 'tong babaeng 'to?
It's not that I'm being rude to her or what but she gives me of the bad kind of vibes. Like there's something behind that innocent smile she's putting up.
I may not be that so good but I could at least read the faces of the people I encounter or observe.
Kaya ayaw ko man gawin ay napilitan na lamang ako na ngumiti at sumagot sa kaniya.
"Oo eh." sagot ko na lang.
'Now stop talking to me, will you?' I wanted to add this to my sentence but it's best to just keep it to myself.
Tumalikod na lang ako sa kaniya at nag-focus na lamang sa pila. I thought she would give up and just shut her mouth but she still kept on talking.
Good thing I received a text message from Belle. I replied with a text telling her to call me. And it didn't took a while before my phone started to ring. It was an incoming call from Belle.
Lumingon ako sa babaeng hindi ko alam ang pangalan niya - she didn't introduce herself anyways. She was still talking about something which I don't have any idea on what it is and I don't care.
"Ahm... Excuse me. But can you please keep quiet for a moment? I'm going to answer a call and I wouldn't be able to hear it if you still keep on talking."
Call me insensitive, I don't give a fuck. It's not like we're that so close for me to really care for her feelings. And is she dumb or what? Can't she clearly see that I don't have any bits of interest on what she is talking?
I just tried to smile at her after saying those words. Natigil naman siya at halatang pilit itong ngumiti saka dahan-dahan na tumango.
Thank God. Tumahimik din siya.
I nodded my head at her and look back at front. But before answering the call inilabas ko ang inpods ko at saka ko iyon isinuot bago ko sagutin ang call ni Belle.
"Hey." I said after answering.
"What took you so long to pick up the call? Weren't you the one who told me to call you?"
What's this? I could already imagine Belle's face pouting while talking to the phone right now.
"Are you pouting, Belle? Sorry na nga. I would buy you extra barbeque na may taba as a compensation."
"It's a deal. You're forgiven."
Natawa na lang ako. Belle is really a food lover. If you want to woo her, just give her lots of food, specially her favorites.
Natawa na lang ako sa kaniyang naging reaction and we continue to talk while I was waiting in line.
Inabot ng halos kalahating oras akong nakatayo at nakapila bago ako makabili ng barbeque. Oh Gosh! Kung alam ko lang na ganito pala ako katagal nag-aantay eh edi sana iba na lang s-in-uggest ko na ulamin namin ni Belle. Pero since Belle also wants to try eating barbeque, I think it's alright.
"Grabe! Ansakit na ng tuhod ko sa ngalo kaka-antay sa haba ng pila."
Pasimple akong napabuga ng buntong hininga. That girl earlier, hindi pa rin niya ako tinatantanan.
"Look, I don't know who you are but aren't you being too clingy and feeling close right now? This is even the first time I saw you yet you act so casual. If you want something then spit it out already and don't keep on clinging on to me. It's exhausting listening to all of your rants and whatsoever. I don't even care about those stuff. So do me a favor and leave me alone."
-would be something that I want to say to her straight in th face. But I would rather not.
Baka umiyak pa 'yan o ano eh. Malaman ko na lang bukas na may issue na ako na pagiging bully.
Di ko na lang siya pinansin at nagbukas na lamang ako ng cellphone ko. Magbubukas sana ako ng Facebook pero napansin ko ang notification mula sa pinagbabasahan ko ng mga online novels.
Nanlaki ang mata ko nang mabasa ang nilalaman ng notif na iyon. It was a side story of Sky Full of Stars that the author had made. Mabilis ang kamay na in-open ko ang app at saka ako nagtungo doon para basahin.
"Ikaw, Senior Aria?"
Natigilan ako at napalingon sa babaeng nasa tabi ko nang tawagin niya ang pangalan ko. Sheesh. What is it about this time?
Pilit akong ngumiti. "I'm sorry, but could you repeat what you've said? Hindi ko kasi narinig."
I tried my best to at least tried sound nice kahit pa sobrang nakaka-uncomfortable talaga ang ginagawa niya sa akin.
It's not that I don't socialize or talk to any body from the same University, pero kasi iba yung awkwardness na nararamdaman ko towards this girl.
I kept on trying to remember when did I saw her before. Pero hindi ko pa rin talaga matandaan.
"Ah. I was asking kung mayroon ka rin bang guy na nagustuhan sa University natin?"
Nawala ang pilit na ngiti ko at hindi ko na napigilan na mapataas ng kilay.
She dare ask such question? To me? Bakit, close ba kami for her to have the guts to ask such bold question? Ni hindi ko nga alam ang pangalan niya eh. Other than us studying at the same University, we don't have any sort of relationship or connection. I don't even consider her as an acquaintance.
"Excuse me, but are we close enough for you to ask such question?"
Hindi ko na kaya pa ang magtimpi. I think I've act nicely enough. Her presence itself is uncomfortable, but her question? How daring!
Nakita ko naman ang pag-flinch niya dahil sa sinabi ko. I don't care even if she trembles or so what.
"A-Ah... I'm s-sorry..." Nakayuko niya pang sambit.
Hindi ako sumagot, bagkus ay naglakad na lamang ako paalis. Ayaw ko na siyang makasabay sa paglalakad, kahit pa iisa lang naman ang direksyon na dadaanan namin.
Kinuha ko na lang ang cellphone ko at saka kinalma ang sarili ko sa pagbabasa ng side story ng Sky Full of Stars. I hope ... na sa side story magkaroon ng Point of View si Cassia, so that people would understand how she ended up like that - the villainess. Because I do believe that every villain and villainess in a story has their own story on how they ended up like that. And it's just unfortunate that in other's story, they're the villains, but on their own they are the heroines and main characters.
Nasa may pedestrian lane na ako patawid na sana sa kabilang kalsada pero dahil yellow lights pa ay mayroon pa ring dumadaan na sasakyan.
Pero bigla na lamang may tumulak sa akin dahilan para mapatayo ako sa gitna ng kalsada. Lilingunin ko na sana kung sino ang tumulak sa akin pero agad na naagaw ng atensyon ko ang nakakasilaw na ilaw ng sasakyan na siyang mabilis at diretsong papunta sa akin.
At that moment, I froze like an ice at my position. Kahit pa sinisigaw ng utak ko na gumalaw ako ay hindi ko magawang igalaw ang aking mga paa. My knees were trembling and memories started flashing into my head.
This kind of feeling that I just described. Isn't this those moments when a person will die?
Is this going to be ... my end?