I like him.
I like Ranzell, that's for sure. I asked Ricca and google stuffs regarding this. Turns out that I only like him yet. And I hope it will only stay like that.
I am here in the library with France. France is busy with her laptop while I am computing our expenses in the last activity in cookery. We need to submit it at the end of the day.
Kanina ko pa hinahanap si Carlo para gawin namin ito. Tutal naman ay kami ang partners sa activity na ito. Ang kaso ay kanina pa siya nawawala. Nag cutting siguro, vacant kasi namin ngayon.
“Hi”
Sabay kaming nag angat ng tingin ni France ng marinig namin ang boses sa gilid.
Ranzell is standing there, smiling and holding a bottle of C2 and a sandwich.
“Hi Ranzell” France greeted him.
He smiled at her before walking closer to us. I pursed my lips when he sat down beside me. I glared at France when she has this teasing face while looking at us.
“Hi sweetheart” he said smiling at me.
I glared at him making him chuckle.
“What are you doing here?” I asked.
He pursed his lips before putting the C2 and the sandwich on the table.
“Recess na. Hindi ka pa kumakain.” nakangusong sabi niya atsaka itinulak papunta sa gawi ko yung pagkain na nilagay niya sa mesa.
My lips parted in shock. I checked the time and it is already recess time. Nakanguso kong nilingon si France ng impit siyang tumili atsaka nakakalokong tumikhim.
When I looked at Ranzell he is biting his lips trying to hide his smile.
“Ah, alis na muna ako. Bibili lang ako ng snacks, wala naman kasi akong Ranzell na maghahatid ng pagkain sa akin.” nakangising sabi ni France bago tumayo at naglakad paalis.
I blow my cheek because I suddenly feel awkward. All of a sudden I am already sweating.
“Kain ka na” he said as he hands me the sandwich.
I slowly took it from him and open it. I focused my eyes on the paper in front of me while eating. I can feel his stares at me.
I cleared my throat before looking at him.
“W-what about you?”
“Hmm?”
“Nag-snack ka na ba?” I asked him.
He smiled before shaking his head. My brows furrowed as I took a bite on the sandwich.
“Not yet? You should eat your snack-”
Before I can finish what I am suppose to say he already lean towards me and took a bite on my sandwich.
My eyes widened in shock making me choke on the sandwich that I am eating. I coughed for a couple of times.
“A-ayos ka lang ba?” he asked worriedly.
What the hell? Papatayin niya ba ako?
I nod my head and reach for the C2 bottle. When I can't open it he did it for me. He even hold the bottle while I am drinking.
“T-thank you” I said.
“Pasensya na...” he said before holding my face and making me look at him.
My face heat up so badly.
“Ayos ka na?” he asked again, concern is lace in his voice.
I just nodded my head because for some reason I can't find my voice. He stared at my face for a bit. I looked away.
“Namumula ka...” he said.
May multo ng ngiti sa kaniyang labi. My eyes widened a bit as I pull my face out of his hold. I heard him chuckle a bit.
“I...I a-am not” nauutal na sabi ko.
“Okay, sabi mo eh” natatawang sabi niya.
Masama ang tingin na nilingon ko siya.
“You are so annoying.”
“Yeah” he said then took a bite on the sandwich.
Nang makitang nakatingin ako at inilapit niya sa bibig ko ang sandwich, telling me to also take a bite. I rolled my eyes at him and just took the C2 bottle and drink from it.
Gosh, this annoying guy is really leading me on.
Months passed by like a blur. It's already half of the school year. The second sem just started two weeks ago. I am satisfied with my grades and I place third in our class rankings. I told Mom and Dad about it, Dad congratulated me but Mom doesn't seem to care, like the usual.
Ranzell...he treated me with another lomi when he finds out about it. He also congratulated me. I also congratulated him because I heard that he belongs in the top 10 of their class ranks.
“So, how's your studies girls?” Dad asked referring to me and Ricca.
Ricca is sleeping over here in the house for tonight. We are having dinner with Dad. He said that Mom is still in the office preparing for a presentation. Babalik rin daw siya doon mamaya. May kinuha lang siyang files kaya kinailangan niyang umuwi.
“I am doing my best Tito. I just hope it would be enough” natatawang sagot ni Ricca sa kaniya.
“You'll do great.” Dad said smiling.
“What about you?” he said then turn to me.
“I'm doing great, Dad. Don't worry.” I assure him.
He nod his head then smiled.
“Okay, if you say so..”
The dinner ended well. Maybe because Mom isn't here. Right after dinner, Dad left for work again.
“Are you gonna use your laptop?” Ricca asked.
I shook my head.
“Nope. Why? Your gonna use it?”
“Yeah. Just need to search some stuff to make my essay.” she said.
She started typing and browsing the net. Nahiga ako sa kama at natulala sa kisame. I don't have things or assessments to do right now but somehow my mind is preoccupied by something....someone.
I opened my facebook account to kill some time. It's still early to sleep anyway. I scroll on my feed and reacted to some pictures and funny memes I saw.
Natigil ako sa pag-scroll when I saw this picture posted by someone named, Jennelyn that is tagged to Ranzell. It was posted 28 minutes ago. What makes my brows more furrowed is that the picture is a mirror shot. His arms are even draped around the girl's shoulder.
Wala sa sarili akong napaupo sa kama.
What the hell? Who is she? I checked the comment but I got nothing from it. Ranzell commented and said 'Ganda🔥'.
What was that suppose to mean? I stalk that Jennelyn but I only find a couple of shared post and memes on her timeline.
Gosh, why am I even doing this?
I pursed my lips as I remember the picture. Is....that his girlfriend? But I don't think he has one.
I get more annoyed when I felt a pang on my chest. This is so annoying. So what if he has a girlfriend? Yes, I like him but that doesn't mean that he also like me.
But then why does he keeps leading me on? He keeps showing concern and care towards me. Why would he flirt with me then if he has a girlfriend?
I pursed my lips. Siguro ako lang naman ang nag iisip na nilalandi niya ako, dahil gusto ko siya. Dati naman kasi iniinis niya lang ako at naiinis lang ako sa kaniya. Baka naman akala ko lang na nilalandi niya ako pero ang totoo iniinis niya lang pala ako, gaya ng dati. Hindi kaya nagbago ang pagkakaintindi ko sa mga sinasabi at kinikilos niya dahil nagbago din ang nararamdaman ko para sa kaniya?
Nakagat ko ang labi sa sariling naiisip. Is it really possible? I logged out and turn off my phone.
“Are you okay?” Ricca asked.
I force a smile then nodded.
“Yeah” I said.
Umayos ako ng higa at nagtalukbong ng kumot. Tumulo ang luha sa mata ko. Marahas ko iyong pinunas.
Get yourself together, May Ann.
It's Monday and I woke up feeling so gloomy. I admit, I'm still not over about the picture I saw last Saturday.
I shook my head to wake myself up. Today is Monday and we have a quiz later so I have to get a hold of myself. I should really stop stressing over unimportant things.
I am walking on the hallways, going into the Food Lab. I need to check the dessert I made last week.
My eyes widened and I literally stop on my track when I saw Ranzell walking towards me. He smiled then wave his hand at me.
I turn my back at him and started running through another way. I only stop when I was already far away from him. Sumandal ako sa pader ng isang room atsaka huminga ng malalim. Pilit pinapakalma ang nagwawalang pintig ng puso ko.
Gosh, I really panicked when I saw him. It's because I was planning to avoid him. Prevention is better than cure, they say. So I'm gonna prevent it even before it get worse, my feelings I mean.
When the lunch break came, I asked France if we should just eat outside. She agreed but she keeps asking questions.
“Bakit ba dito tayo kakain?” she said.
“Mag nangyari ba sainyo ni Ranzell?”
I looked away.
“N-none. I just....want a new environment okay?”
She looked at me suspiciously
“Really? Don't you dare deny it...but you are avoiding him.”
“I...I'm not” I denied so fast.
“Yeah, right.” she said then rolled her eyes.
“I'll just call Alexa to tell her where we are.”
I just nod my head at her. Maybe she notice it in the canteen during our recess. We are about to go inside when I saw Ranzell in there so I asked her to spend our break in the lib instead.
I felt really tired when the class ended. I am fine with the lessons and stuffs but it's really hard to avoid him. It's draining my energy, big time.
I texted kuya Jude to pick me up already. During those last months I didn't go home with Xavier or either Ryken. It's because they are taking their girlfriends at home. Honestly, I am not a bit comfortable with Kath and Syndy. Maybe because I never get to be close with them before even when I am with Jon-jon.
I am standing outside our campus, cautiosly looking around trying to find Ranzell in the crowd. I really didn't see him after lunch. Maybe, I really avoided him well.
I sigh then pulled out my phone from my pocket. I started typing another message to kuya Jude but I was shock when someone took my phone out of my hand.
When I look on my side to see who is the bastard, my heart started beating so rapidly. Nabuhay ang kaba sa sistema ko ng makita ang seryosong mukha niya habang nakatingin sa akin.
“W-what are you doing?” nauutal na sabi ko at akmang babawiin ang cellphone ko ng iilag niya iyon.
Binalewala ko ang kabang nararamdaman atsaka nag angat ng tingin sa kaniya. Pinilit kong ipakita ang naiinis kong mukha.
“Give my phone back, Ranzell” I said.
Tumaas ang kilay niya atsaka humakbang papalapit dahilan para mapaatras ako. I consciously glance around to see if someone is looking at us. I don't want to have an issue as a mistress or something.
When I return my gaze to him, his brows were furrowed as if he's confused. I pursed my lips.
“Galit ka ba?” he asked.
“May ginawa ba ako?”
My lips parted a bit then looked away. I shook my head.
“N-nothing. Why should I be mad?” I asked not looking at him.
I heard him sigh.
“Eh bakit mo ako iniiwasan?”
Natigilan ako at hindi agad nakasagot. Of course, you are too obvious.
I force a laugh before looking at him.
“I am not..” I said then step backwards when he walked closer.
Bago pa man ako tuluyang makalayo sa kaniya ay hinila niya na ang braso ko papalapit. My eyes widen in shock.
I tried to pull my hands back but he held it firm.
“R-ranzell, what are you doing?” I snapped at him.
“Bakit mo ako iniiwasan?” he asked seriously.
The emotion in his eyes makes me looked away. I can't stare at him.
“I told you, I'm not.” pagpupumilit ko.
“And please let me go. People are looking our way.” I said.
He has a girlfriend yet he is holding my hand. Baka kung ano ang isipin ng iba sa amin.
“Eh ano naman ngayon?” he asked in an annoyed tone.
I looked at him confused.
“W-what?”
He clenched his jaw and stared intently at me.
“Nakakahiya ba na makitang kasama ako?”
“W-what? Of course you shouldn't be seen with another girl.” I said.
Tumaas ang kilay niya.
“At bakit naman?”
Nakaamang ko siyang tiningnan. Is he serious?
“Because you have a girlfriend, asshole. How can you hold my hand like this....” I said, annoyed then pulled my hand away from him. “...when you are in a relationship with someone?” I snapped at him.
He is so annoying. Is he trying to fool me  or something?
He looks shock and confused all of a sudden. Bago pa siya makabawi at pumarada na sa harap namin ang sasakyan ni kuya Jude. Dali dali akong sumakay at hindi na siya muling nilingon pa.
Nang makauwi sa bahay ay agad akong pumasok ng kwarto. I dialed Ricca's number and told her everything.
“He is so annoying Ricca. Imagine, he's trying to fool me. Well, he better luck next time.” I said.
“Are you even sure if that girl is really his girlfriend?” she asked.
“What else she can be?” I said then rolled my eyes.
“Anak, nasa baba na ang parents mo. Kasama yung kaibigan mo daw.”
I heard Nanay outside the door. My brows furrowed. Kaibigan? France?
“Ricca, I need to go. Talk to you later.” I said then ended the call.
I went down and got surprised to see Mom and Dad at the sala talking to...Ranzell. Dali dali akong bumaba at lumapit sa kanila. Pasimple kong tiningnan si Ranzell na seryoso lang ang mukha.
“H-hi Dad, Mom” I greeted.
“We saw him outside. He said he is looking for you.” Dad told me.
I looked at Ranzell.
“W-why?”
He is still looking at me with a serious expression. He hands me the paper bag he is holding. My lips parted then looked down on it.
“Pinapapigay ni Mam Elena. Nakalimutan niya daw ipadala kanina bago kayo pauwiin.” sabi niya.
I bit my lip then reach for it. It was the Mango Graham cake I made.
“T-thank you” I said then force a smile.
“What's that?” Dad asked.
“It's the Mango Graham cake I made.” I said then smiled.
“Wow. Pwede ba naming tikman yan?” nakangiting sabi ni Dad.
Mas lalong lumawak ang ngiti ko atsaka magiliw na tumango.
“Let's eat, I'm starving. Invite your friend, May Ann.” Mom said before she turn her back on us.
I bit my lip then look at Ranzell.
“Uhh..” I said awkwardly.
“Let's go” I said then made my way to the dining area.
Ramdam kong nakasunod siya sa akin. Tahimik lang kaming kumakain. I don't know for the others but for me it is really awkward. Mom asked Randy about school stuffs. And it was gets even more awkward when Dad started asking about Ranzell's family. I stop Dad immediately when I sense that Ranzell is really uncomfortable in the topic.
“Wow, it looks good” sabi ni Dad ng ilabas ni Nanay ang cake sa lalagyan.
Dad was the first one to get a piece. He also gets one for Mom.
“Have some iho” he said and signal Ranzell to get his.
I pursed my lips as I watch him get a piece. I suddenly felt nervous. Nakagat ko ang labi ng magsimula na silang kumain.
Nakahinga ako ng maluwag ng makitang ngumiti atsaka tumango si Dad. Nang tumingin ako sa gawi ni Mommy ay agad na nabuhay muli ang kaba sa dibdib ko.
“It's fine....” she said making me smile.
“But not as good as March” she continued.
Nakagat ko ang labi atsaka yumuko. Narinig ko ang nananaway na tinig ni Daddy. Of course, it's Ate March. Si Ate March ang nagturo sa akin kung paano gumawa ng Mango Graham cake. This is her specialty.
“Excuse me” sabi ni Mommy bago tumayo at naglakad paalis.
Dad also excuse himself and followed her. Ngayon ko lang naramdaman ang hiya. Nakakahiya kay Ranzell.
Tumikhim siya kaya nag angat ako ng tingin sa kaniya.
“Mauuna na ako” he said in a serious tone.
I nodded my head then stood up.
“Hatid na kita sa labas.” mahinang sabi ko atsaka nauna nang naglakad palabas.
Huminto ako ng makalabas kami ng gate. Hinarap ko siya.
“I..I'm sorry about earlier.” I said.
I feel like I have to apologize that he has to witness that.
I was surprise when he walk closer. Sobrang lapit niya na kinailangan ko pang tumingala para makita ang mukha niya.
“Ayos ka lang ba?” tanong niya habang nakayuko sa akin.
“Uhh, y-yeah, of course” sabi ko atsaka pilit na tumawa.
Napalunok ako ng tumitig lang siya sa akin.
“W-why?” I asked.
Inangat niya ang kamay atsaka marahang pinunasan ang pisngi ko. Dali dali akong napayuko at pinunas ang luha sa mukha. I didn't even realise that I am already crying.
“I'm sorry...I just..”
Before I could finish what I'm about to say, he already wrap his arms around me and pull me closer to him. I was shock at first but I eventually calm down with his touch.
Sunod sunod nang tumulo ang mga luha ko. Unti unti kong inangat ang mga kamay atsaka mahigpit na humawak sa uniform niya. Isinubsub niya ang mukha ko sa kaniyang dibdib habang marahang hinahaplos ang buhok ko.
“Shhh, I'm sorry...tahan na..” he said soothingly.
Umiyak lang ako ng umiyak sa dibdib niya. In that moment, I felt like someone is on my side, someone who will hear out my cries. I feel so secure and free in between his arms.
“I am...an a-adopted child...” I said, my voice is still shaking.
“Okay lang-”
Bago niya pa matapos ang sasabihin ay umiling ako. I don't know why but I want to tell him. I want to share my story with him. For some reason, I have a feeling that he will understand.
“A-ate March, she's the reason why I am here. They adopted me because Ate March wants me...”
I closed my eyes when I felt more tears streaming down my face.
“She's the first person who made me experience the feeling of having a family and home. S-she's my friend, a sister, my own baker. We are so happy...before” nakagat ko ang labi ng mabasag ang boses.
“Mom loves me..s-she never treated me bad...before...” mas lalong lumakas ang hikbi ko.
Mas lalo ring humigpit ang yakap niya sa akin. He wasn't saying anything but his actions tells me that he'll listen.
“It all c-changed when Ate March died. S-she got into an accident and died because of m-me. It was my f-fault, Ranzell. M-mom doesn't love me anymore because I killed her daughter. She blames me for it.”
I blame myself for it.
Nakagat ko ang labi para pigilan ang pagkawala ng mga hikbi. Mas lalo kong isiniksik sa dibdib niya ang mukha ko. Tahimik lang siya at hindi nagsasalita. His arms are still gently wrap around me.
He didn't spoke until my cries subside. He only keeps on soothingly stroke my back. Nang tuluyan ng kumalma ay bahagya akong humiwalay sa kaniya.
Napanguso ako ng makitang basa na ng luha ang uniform niya.
“I'm sorry...about that” sabi ko atsaka nag angat ng tingin sa kaniya.
We are still close with each other. I looked away when he smiled at me. He reach for my face then wipe the tears on it.
“Hindi ko natikman yung Mango Graham cake na gawa ng ate mo kaya hindi ko alam kung mas masarap yun sa gawa mo...” he said that makes me look at him.
“Pero kahit na...mas masarap yung Mango Graham niya...yung gawa mo pa rin ang paborito ko.” nakangiting sabi niya.
Umawang ang labi ko atsaka nag iwas ng tingin. Nag init ang mukha ko. There he goes again with those cheesy lines. So annoying. He is one of the reasons why I am a bit distracted for this past few months.
I sighed and gather all my courage to look at him and ask.
“Are you trying to fool me?” I asked.
Umawang ang labi niya. Amusement is evident in his eyes.
“Ano?” kunot ang noo na tanong niya.
So he would play innocent now.
“Sa tingin mo ba hindi ko napapansin? You keep on flirting with me, leading me on and making me feel things. You get worried and concern and then the next thing I know you have a girlfriend. What do you really want, Ranzell?” tuloy tuloy na sabi ko.
“Your actions and everything you say confuses me. But even so, I wanna know...” I said then sighed.
“Do you like me?”
Ipagpapatuloy..................