This morning I was still crying
There is a feeling that never dies
There's someone above me
Enduring all the shame
I thought I was still dreaming
24/7 non-stop
The sun and the moon are witnesses
There is a feeling that doesn't want to go away
I'm afraid of silence...
But the others are meaningless
He said my dream will come true
They forgot about the nightmare
About the words 'Sorry, honey I have to go'
Just like the lyrics of the song that this morning had echoed in the house next door. Kirana woke up with her eyes still wet, puffy. However, he was satisfied because overnight he could spill all the feelings that had been bubbling up.
"Mom, do you want to eat?" Suddenly Shinta's shrill voice touched Kirana's eardrums accompanied by a harsh knock on the door.
"If you don't want to, I'll eat all your food rations," he continued. Kirana deliberately didn't respond to her sister's question. He chose to hide under the blanket again. I want to calm my mind and heart first.
Since Mrs. Yanti's departure, Shinta's attitude has grown colder towards Kirana. Last night alone, the two of them had an argument. As usual, Shinta continued to say words that really broke Kirana's heart. In Kirana's mind, she was sure that Shinta was forced to go to her sister's room because of orders from Mr. Sarmidi. It was evident from the tone of the knock on the door earlier.
This small house in the corner of the village does save a million stories. Starting from happy stories to the most chest-piercing stories. It's true, 2011 was the toughest year for Kirana. The reality of life that never crossed his mind, suddenly shattered Kiana's family relationship just like that. Bitter. However, what can you do? Kirana never wanted such a fate.
Still in the same situation, Kirana never stopped cursing herself. The night after the accident that happened to him, all the secrets that were kept neatly by Mr. Sarmidi had been revealed by Mrs. Yanti. Incomparably sad, when Kirana overhears her parents' conversation.
"Dear ... can you come in?"
Actually, Kirana still doesn't want to get out of bed. However, he also felt bad about letting Mr. Sarmidi stand in front of his door. Immediately, the soft blanket that covered his body was pushed aside, turning the lock on the door that had been stuck in the door since yesterday.
"What's the matter, Dad?" Kirana asked with her hair still messy.
Mr. Sarmidi was seen standing while carrying a plate of rice with egg and chili sauce as a side dish. This, of course, made Kirana even more 'uneasy'.
"This is your food. Eat it quickly, okay! It's not good to keep torturing yourself," asked Mr. Sarmidi, who a few minutes later left Kirana. His attitude doesn't mean he doesn't want to cheer up Kirana. However, there are still other obligations that must be fulfilled, namely selling around to earn a living.
Losing his beloved wife does not necessarily make Mr. Sarmidi slump for longer. He is aware that there are other responsibilities that are bigger and more important. After all, even being sad will not be able to change God's destiny. Getting up is the right choice that Pak Sarmidi must implement, he said.
Kirana did not immediately eat the rice. Put the food on the table in his room. Leave it for a moment. He wanted to wash himself first. To look fresh and vibrant. Even though he knew that his heart still couldn't reconcile. However, he realized that holding onto his anger for too long would only make him worse off.
There are some people who choose to remain silent when there is a problem. Just like Kirana before. Silence is the way to restore the mood in the heart. Hope that the people around him can understand it.
After bathing and combing her hair, Kirana continued her daily activities. With staggered steps and the help of a bamboo stick, of course.
"I just didn't want to leave my room, I didn't want to eat either. You're the basis, Sis ... Sis ...," grumbled Shinta, who seemed to have just returned from jogging.
'Patience Kirana... Patience' Kirana thought as she continued to walk to the dining table.
He didn't pay any attention to Sita's words. Tired of having to argue with him again. In the end, Shinta will complain to Mr. Sarmidi with a no-no statement. Even though Kirana knows, Mr. Sarmidi will always believe that he doesn't do things as Shinta says. Because indeed, Mr. Sarmidi has memorized the personalities of Kirana and Shinta very well.
***
A tinge of orange has been etched beautifully over the western sky. Refreshing the eyes of anyone who witnessed it.
On the side of the paved road, Mr. Sarmidi is still busy selling pentol and fried foods. Maybe the merchandise doesn't sell as much as usual. Considering, in the rainy season like that, not many people want to go out of the house to just buy snacks. They prefer to make it themselves at home.
However, this did not break Mr. Sarmidi's spirit. He persistently continued to pedal his old bicycle. Traveling from one village to another. Even though he owns a motorbike, he prefers to use his old bike to sell. There is something that causes this choice. One of them was because Shinta did not allow Pak Sarmidi to use the motorbike.
"Should I just go home, okay? These pentols and fried foods can still be reheated. The pentols can be sold again tomorrow and these fried foods can be used for dinner today," said Mr. Sarmidi when he stopped at the side of the road to check his merchandise.
"Hopefully tomorrow more people will buy."
Since the sky was getting darker, he decided to go home. He didn't want to worry his two daughters.
Tiittt... tiittt... tiittt!
Just about to pedal his bicycle, suddenly the sound of a car horn startled Mr. Sarmidi. He also spontaneously immediately pulled the bike back.
"What are you selling?"
The voice came from someone who had just popped his head out of the car.
"Oh, this is selling meatball and fried food, sir," said Mr. Sarmidi in a typical East Javanese tone.
"How much, sir? I just happen to want to bring a snack for my wife."
"There are thousands of fries, sir. If it's the pentol, how many do you want to buy," explained Mr. Sarmidi.
"Oh. Then I'll buy the rest of the fried stuff. It's only ten thousand pentols, okay?"
How happy Mr. Sarmidi was when he heard that person's order. Quickly, Mr. Sarmidi immediately made the man's order.
"Here, sir. The total is twenty thousand," said Mr. Sarmidi as he handed him a large plastic bag containing the order earlier.
The person replied to Mr. Sarmidi's words with a smile. Apparently, he's a friendly person. Do not have the prestige to buy food on the side of the road.
After receiving the plastic, the person immediately paid for it. Instead of paying with green bills, he took out 2 red bills.
"The return is for father only!" he asked which made Mr. Sarmidi momentarily stunned.
In just a day of selling, it is very rare for Mr. Sarmidi to earn more than one hundred and fifty thousand. But right now, one buyer was paying two hundred thousand.
"But, sir...."
"It's okay, sir. Please, I'll go home first, okay," said the person and immediately drove his luxury car.
Maybe two hundred thousand is nothing to that person. However, for Mr. Sarmidi? This money is very much needed.
"Alhamdulillah. That means I have to continue to give alms at the mosque," said Mr. Sarmidi softly.
He never forgot to give charity. Either in the field or in the middle of economic problems. Alms of a thousand rupiahs is still considered as a charity by the angels, he said. Mr. Sarmidi's heart is indeed very noble. His neighbors were very impressed with his personality.
To be Continued ....