M-markian…
Did I hear it right? He complimented me… for the first time. I can feel my heart pumping so hard. But what if it's just a prank or what? Well, at least. I finally know the feeling of having such beautiful compliments.
"Hey, are you just alright?" Markian asked and held my cheeks.
"Uh-oh, of course! I was just thinking about the agreement." I whispered.
He distanced himself a little bit and roamed his eyes around. Wrong move, Mckenzie. "I-I'm sorry. I shouldn't have brought that topic." I coaxed.
"No, it's fine. Totally fine. Maybe you're wondering too."
"I-I was just thinking of telling our grandfathers to cancel it..." I said without even thinking of my own feelings.
"...y-you have a girlfriend, right? Gracey." he shook his head.
"I-I can break up with her just to see my grandpop happy. All he wanted was to see us having each other. He's suffering from Diabetes, Macky. He's right eye can't see anymore. I-I just want him to see that we're happy."
I felt the grief that he's having right now. Being forced to be with someone you don't really want. "But you don't have to break up with Gracey, Markian. You're already 3 years now. Besides, I am a great actress. Haha!" I said and laughed to make the atmosphere lighter.
"Right. You're a great pretender." he whispered, just enough for me to hear.
"Is that a compliment?" We laughed and laughed until we almost burst into tears.
We only stopped when we heard his phone ring. I was brought back to reality. Jealousy ate me. I know, I should not be like this. I shouldn't be jealous. I'm just his fake girlfriend. Just a childhood friend who wants him to be my real boyfriend. Am I foolish and selfish if I wish for myself now after thinking about other people's feelings? Am I? I guess so.
"I'm sorry, Macky. I have to take this call." he said and left the room.
I lay down on bed and stared at the ceiling. We seemed to like each other, but that was just my thought. I was just the one who's feeling it.
"How foolish you are, Mckenzie." I whispered and closed my eyes.
I realized that having him when I was laughing was the best memories I had during my childhood. Having him as my first graduation party at highschool was gold. Having him as my escort at the ball was fantastic. Having him as my best friend was already enough.
Maybe I am not his girlfriend but I am happy that I was there when he experienced his first heartbreak, first girlfriend, first crush and first wound from a bicycle. AHAHAHA. I remembered that again. He's not good at riding a bicycle back then. We're just 5,I think when that accident happened. His father, uncle Ruzzel, was teaching us how to ride one. And then there's the boastful Markian. When Uncle Ruzzel was not looking, he went on the little clifflike road and rode on his first bicycle. Uncle Ruzzel really gets mad at Markian. All I did at that time was to laugh at his face.
It might be his worst memory up until now. He got a lifetime mark on his leg, after all.
Thinking that the agreement can replace his worst memory, my mood changed. There's a part of me wanting him to be mine but my half's saying I should let him go to be with the girl he really loves.
I don't let him go, I might be removed from his life as soon as she married her long time girlfriend, Gracey. Maybe. Maybe when I had him...when we got married, I can't be removed from his life, right?
But he never loved me.
What if we got married? Surely, I will be happy. But how about him? Thinking that he'll regret it, it became knives on my chest. Maybe I can't be removed from his life but surely, he'll choose to remove all the memories we had.
-
"...the most beautiful thing I've ever seen."
I was about to open my eyes but I heard him saying that. Am I dreaming? Wait. I fell asleep?
"Oh no! I've awakened her." he flinched.
As soon as I opened my eyes, I pretended I didn't hear anything. "Hmm." I cleared my throat.
I saw him hide his phone in his pocket. Oh. T-that was for Gracey. Haha. Silly me. I thought he was pertaining to me. Funny.
"Oh, you're here. What brought you here and why the heck are you lying down on my bed?" I queried and sat down.
"I was just checking on you and y-you were asleep so I decided to stay here and guard you." he said and smiled, awkwardly.
"Guard me on what? I'm safe here, okay. Don't be such a great actor. Grandpa and grandpop aren't here so cut the act now. You don't have to be like that. I'll tell Gracey if you don't leave!" I freaked out.
He remained silent. I switched the lamp on and averted my gaze on him. He's being silent for two reasons. First, he's sleepy or he's being injured, physically or mentally.
"Y-your eyes were swollen. What happened? Did you cried?" I asked. He just looked at me, intently for a few seconds.
"What?" I asked him again but he burst into laugh.
"Why would I cry? I'm just sleepy. I just woke up like you." he answered briefly. I feel something weird. Something doesn't add up.
"Mckenzie…" he whispered which made me comeback to my senses.
"Let's make it real. Can you be my girlfriend?"