"Good bye Teacher!"
I gave them a wide smile before nodding.
"Good bye class, so....see you soon?"
They pouted.
They ran towards me, and they hugged me tight.
"We will miss you Teacher Kara!"
I sighed.
After how many years, I'm already a Teacher.
In everything that has happened in my life, in all the hardships i have gone through......I achieved my dream.
I thought......I thought i couldn't...but see.....i am here teaching some of children.
Of all the pain i experienced,the times i thought i would never finish my studies but i didn't think i was here now.
A goal without a plan is just a wish.
Never give up on a dream just because of the time it will make to accomplish it. The time will pass anyway.
All our dreams can come true if we have the courage to pursue them.
Deep down you know exactly what you're capable of. There's even moments when you get a glimpse of all the potential you have. You can get there. You just have to be willing to sacrifice the habits, things and situations that are standing in the way of your success.
If you can dream it, you can do it.
There will be obstacle, there will be doubters,there will be mistakes,but with hardwork....there are no limits.
It takes a lot of courage to show your dreams to someone else.
I have learned a lot of this year. I have learned a lot about pain and suffering, but also about joy and happiness.
I have learned that sometimes, even those seemingly contradictory feelings can coexist.
And i have felt a lot.
Sometimes all at once, sometimes nothing at all and sometimes i have felt at all once and nothing at all, simultaneously.
And i have learned about good and bad but also about the void that exists in between. I realized that not everything is black and white and the world is so much beautiful and joyous because of that.
I have learned a lot about self-love and self-care. And how long journey it is. And how much i still have left of that journey.
How you can try to distract yourself from the real problem by making jokes and avoiding life,how you can try to convince yourself that you are worthy.
I have also learned a lot about loneliness and how it can cause physical pain to you. Respectively, i have learned how it can be so much worse not to feel lonely; how loneliness can numb you into believing that you will always be alone, both mentally and physically. However, being alone is not something to be ashamed of.
The Felicity that you get from spending time alone is much more fulfilling than the one from investing your time in superficial relationship which only function is a mirage for loneliness.
And how sometimes sunsets are your only friend,and that is so much more than okay. I have learned how minutes after even the most beautiful sunset,a hurricane can come out of nowhere and destroy everything..... sometimes there is no structure, there is no reason for something. How you can spend time endlessly trying to find a reason but sometimes there is simply none. How life will kick you down and how you feel like you will not survive, until you do. I have learned how it is always, always darkest before the dawn. But first and foremost, I have learned that you have to stop waiting for the sun to rise and realize that you were the sun all along.
"Come on! Pwede ka namang bumalik kung gugustuhin mo!"
I was lying on my bed, i just want to rest because i have a lot of things to do tomorrow.
Pero nang-isturbo ang mga walang hiya.
"Busy ako sa araw na yan,ano ba kasing meron? Matutuloy naman siguro 'yan kahit wala ako hindi ba?"
Remy rolled her eyes. I really missed her and also Noemi, it's been a year since i left.
"Well, for me it's very important cause......my crush will gonna attend too!"
"What?! Don't tell me, wala na kayo ni Ashton?!" Si Noemi. Sa nakalipas na taon, mas lalong gumanda ang hugis ng mukha nya at medyo naging suplada....parang dati lang ay napaka amo ng mukha nya.
Nag-iwas naman ng tingin si Remy. Wala din naman akong balita tungkol sa mga naging relationship nila.
"He cheated"
Napahinto ako ng marinig ang "cheated". Parang bumalik lahat ng nangyari,ilang taon na ang nakalipas pero parang kahapon lang nangyari ang lahat.
Ayaw 'kong maniwala sa mga naging balita noon, na hindi talaga nag-cheat si Clark.
They said Abigail have a mental issue kaya ganun sya sa mga taong gusto nya, bigla-bigla nalang daw gumagawa ng mga bahay na hindi maganda.
"I'm not a cheater....I'm not that kind of person....i love her so much kaya hindi ko magagawa 'yon....i know that she won't believe what i saying but if you're watching this..... B-Baby, I'll be waiting for you to come back and I'll explain to you everything what exactly happened.....i know I'm miserable right now but i don't give a damn fuck....i don't care if i didn't pass my bar exam.....wala akong pakialam kung mawala sa akin lahat."
Knowing that he didn't pass the bar exam ay mas lalong bumigat ang problemang dinadala ko, gabi-gabi akong umiiyak at sinasabi na sana matapos na ang lahat.
I know he badly want to pass the bar exam but it just ruined it because of what i did, i know i didn't mean to say those words.
But for now, I'm very thankful to God because finally we reached our dream.
I am his Teacher and he is my Lawyer.
"Sure, I'll be there....tatapusin ko lang ang kailangan 'kong gawin...see you"
I ended the call.
I hope my decision will be right, i hope i can do it.
Paano kapag nagkita kami?
I know i still have a feelings for him,hindi nawala 'yon kahit ilang taon na ang lumipas.
Kung sakaling mag kita man uli kami at magkaroon ng pag kakataon na magka-usap muli, hihilingin ko na sana isa sa mga explanation nya ang unang sasabihin nya. Kasi kahit ilang ulit ko pang pilit kalimutan ang nangyari, pilit parin itong bumabalik.
Sana ay handa na akong pakinggan lahat.
"Yes, Thank you Sir...i don't know when i will be back again...i miss my family so much, five years without seeing them."
"No problem Miss. Wilson, it's glad to be with you...if you don't have a plan to come back here again, hoping that you will continue your job in the Philippines... you're a good teacher"
"Thank you Sir!" I smiled. "And also,thank you for your help....wala ako dito kung wala ang tulong mo"
"Well,it's feel good to help others."
We hugged each other.
I turned my back on him, naglalakad ako sa hallway ng may makasalubong akong pamilyar na mukha.
I frowned.
"Zayd?" I approached him.
His lips parted. "Y-you!" Nanginginig na turo nya sa'kin.
"W-why? May problema ba?"
He sighed heavily."Ikaw pala yan! Anong ginagawa mo dito?!"
I rolled my eyes. "Obviously dito ako nagtatrabaho, ikaw? What are you doing here anyway?"
Napahilot naman sya sa sintido nya."May ibibigay lang ako kay Sir. Villar, nariyan ba sya? Babalik na ako sa pilipinas bukas, baka makalimutan ko ibigay 'to" pinakita nya sakin ang hawak nyang envelope.
"Really? Babalik na din ako bukas"
"Weeee? Sa pilipinas nga lang ba? O sa kanya?"
I laughed. "Pwedeng both?"
He smirked. "Pag nagkabalikan kayo, invite mo ako sa kasal nyo"
"Seriously? Okay sure, bring your own igado" I tapped his shoulder bago sya iniwan doon na umiiling.
Ibinagsak ko ang katawan ko sa kama ng makabalik ako, naramdaman 'kong nag vibrate ang phone ko.
"Kara! What now? Matutuloy ka ba?!" Boses ni Remy ang bumungad sakin, hanggang ngayon ay napaka ingay parin nya!
"Si Noemi ba nakabalik na?" I asked.
"Oo! Ikaw nalang ang hindi! Omg kara masisira ang ganda ko sayo! Stress nalang ako lagi pagdating sayo!" Pagrereklamo nya, rinig ko pa ang pagdabog nya sa kabilang linya.
"Madaling araw ang flight ko, see you" Pinatay ko kaagad ang tawag at in-off ko din ang phone ko para hindi ako ma-istorbo.