Divinity 
It's been a year since I came back from Cagayan de oro. Maraming nagbago, marami ng buildings ang nakatayo unlike to what i've seen before. Going back here was the last thing i want to do, however kung hindi lang birthday ni mommy hindi talaga ako uuwi dito. 
Nandito ako ngayon sa airport, kakalapag ko lang sa hungar and medyo i feel odd stepping into my mother land again. pagkababa ko ng eroplano i took my luggage out at huminga ng malalim. 
Well mabuti nalang talaga i have my own plane that i can use to fly if there’s an immediate things to do at mabuti nalang talaga this airline owns by my close friend kaya wala ng fee sa pag p-park dito. Well hindi rin naman ako magtatagal rito sa CDO. After mom’s birthday aalis din naman ako agad. 
Nang makalabas ako ng airport, i saw my sister waiting for me outside and my niece was with her too. Ng makalapit ako sa kanya my niece quickly hugs me as if naman hindi kami nag v-video call always. 
“Tata!”
“Oh, Destiny Marigold. You’ve grown so much” i said and binuhat siya. 
“Obviously hindi mo talaga ma w-witness paglaki niyan since wala ka namang balak na bumalik dito, kung hindi pa talaga birthday ni mommy wala ka atang balak na magpakita samin” napahilot sa sintido yung kapatid ko. 
“Sis, technology is available we can just call each other through the phone” kibit balikat kong sabi sa kanya. Tinignan niya lamang ako ng masama, which makes me laughed. 
“Where’s James our brother? is he not glad na bumalik pa ako dito?” i asked.
“ang una niya lang hahanapin sayo ay pasalubong, wag kang mag assume na namimiss ka nun. He’s at the house tumutulong sa mga gawain o pag preprepara sa mga aasikasuhin sa birthday ni mommy. You know maag 7-70 na yun at talagang bongga dapat yung biirthday niya” tumango lang ako sa sinabi niya. 
Pumasok na kami sa kotse ng kapatid ko “i heard he has a girlfriend already? i hope it’s not the same type he had before” 
Napatingin sakin ang kapatid ko habang nagmamaneho, then she smirked “You mean gold digger? user-friendly? or emotionally unavailable?”
“Lahat na” I replied, leaning my head against the window as I watched the city pass by. 
Cagayan de Oro…
It still feels… familiar. And yet, everything feels different. Andaming nagbago. 
“Don’t worry” dagdag niya. “This one seems decent. Tahimik lang. Hindi kagaya nung dati na halos i-post na buong buhay ng kapatid natin sa social media” natatawang sabi ng kapatid ko sakin. 
“That was the hectic time of our lives” I jokingly said. 
I chuckled softly. “Good. At least there was improvement on choosing one”
We both become silent at yung kapatid ko nakafocus na sa pagmamaneho. The only sound filling the car was Destiny’s soft humming sa likod habang naglalaro ng tablet niya. 
I glanced at her through the rearview mirror at napatingin naman ako sa gawi ng kapatid ko. She looks so much like her mom. But her eyes… those bright, curious eyes… They remind me of someone I tried so hard to forget.
Napapikit ako sandali and trying not to be reminded of him. This sucks!
But no, not today. I will not ruin my day just because I have to remember him. 
“By the way” biglang sambit ng kapatid ko. Kaya napatingin naman ako dito.
“You’ll be staying in your old room, okay? Nilinis na yun ni mommy weeks ago pa.”
“Is she still mad?” I asked half-jokingly, but there was truth behind it.
She sighed. “You know mom. Hindi siya galit. Nasasaktan lang siya na pinili mong lumayo without even explaining everything”
Without explaining everything huh. I swallowed hard. 
How can I explain something, the moment i tried i feel like my tongue was tied in a knot?
How do you tell your family that you fell in love with someone who could never love you back? And even worse… your best friend.
“I needed some time,” I murmured.
“I know,” she said softly this time. “Pero sana ngayon…yung time na sinasabi mo, nahanap mo na” 
Hindi ako umimik and just look outside the window.
I just hope I won't see him, not by any chance and coincidence.
Mahigpit ang hawak ko sa bag ko. “Don’t worry,” I forced a small smile. “let just enjoy mom's birthday and besides i'm here already” 
She didn’t reply.
And somehow, that silence felt louder than any argument.
Pagdating namin sa bahay, everything felt the same.
The white gate. The garden na punong-puno ng bulaklak na alagang-alaga ni mommy. The wide veranda where we used to sit every afternoon.
It felt like time paused here… while I chose to move forward without them. Guiltiness was eating me. 
“Welcome back” my sister said as she parked the car. I raised my eyebrow, parang sarcastic ng pagkadating ng sinabi niya ah. 
I stepped out of the car. 
“Tata! Come!” Destiny pulled my hand excitedly papasok ng bahay. 
Napangiti ako. “Easy, baby. Hindi ako tatakbo palayo” i laughed. 
Pagpasok ko sa loob, bumungad agad yung familiar na amoy ng bahay. This is not a dream, im finally home?
“Lia?” 
Napaangat ako ng tingin kung saan nanggagaling yung boses and there she was. My Mom.
Her hair is now slightly graying, but her presence is still as strong and warm as ever. The comfort was still there. I couldn't help but smiled at her
“Mom…” I whispered.
Hindi ko na napigilan. I walked towards her and hugged her tightly.
“I’m sorry, for leaving” I murmured.
She gently stroked my hair. “You’re here now. That’s enough” 
That alone… almost broke me.
“Ate!”
Napalingon ako nang marinig ko yung boses ng kapatid kong lalaki na si James. He ran towards me and immediately hugged me… then pulled away. 
“Asan pasalubong ko?” he grinned. Sa lahat lahat ng pwedeng sabihin yan talaga yung una niyang hinanap sakin?
I rolled my eyes. “I missed you too, James”
He laughed. “Siyempre! Pero seryoso, asan?”
Tinapon ko sa kanya yung isang paper bag. “Luxury watch. Don’t say I never spoil you” ket nasa malayong lugar ako, i never failed to spoil my family. 
Nanlaki mata niya. “Grabe ka talaga. Kaya ikaw favorite ko eh” proud niya pang sabi. 
“Excuse me?” sabay sabay na sabi ng kapatid kong babae at ni mommy.
“Joke lang!” mabilis niyang bawi.
Napailing ako habang napapangiti.
Maybe… coming back isn’t so bad after all.
Dinner was lively.
Everyone was talking, laughing, and sharing stories. 
Except me. I was here physically… but my mind keeps drifting. 
“Lia,” mom called my attention. “You’ve been quiet”
“I’m just tired from the flight,” I replied. 
“Or maybe you’re avoiding something” James teased.
I shot him a look. “Finish your food” He laughed.
The house was filled with laughter which I missed by the way. Pagkatapos namin kumain, nauna na akong pumasok sa kwarto para makapagpahinga.
Nang makapasok, the familiarity of my room was still there. I quickly laid my body onto the bed. 
For some reason nakatingin lang ako sa kisame and my mind were drifting in thinking about him. Kahit alam kong ayaw ko na siyang makita but there's still inside me curious on what's he's been upto. Kung sila pa rin ba, or what does his face look like now?