Athena’s P.O.V.
Nabawi agad ni Daddy ‘yong lakas niya just within one month of his confinement. Ako naman ay two months ding na-comatose… pero sa kasamaang palad, Helena didn’t survive!
Mariin kong ipinikit ang aking mga mata at malalim na bumuntong-hininga. Hindi ko napigilang pumatak ang luha sa aking kaliwang mata sa patuloy kong pag-alala sa nakaraan…
Nagising akong tahimik na natutulog si Daddy sa tabi ko. Nakaupo siya sa isang maliit na upuan at may benda pa ang kanyang noo paikot sa likod ng ulo. Bakas pa ang kaunting dugo sa benda. Dahan-dahan kong hinawakan ang mga kamay niya at siya naman ay nagising na.
“Helena, hija! Salamat sa Diyos at buhay ka!” Agad niyang hinawakan ang leeg at ulo ko sa tindi ng kanyang pag-aalala. “Okay ka lang ba, anak? May masakit ba sa’yo? Teka, tatawag lang ako ng doktor.” Akma sana siyang aalis nang hinawakan ko ang kaliwang kamay niya upang pigilan siya.
“Dad… I… I am… not H-Helena. I am A-Athena,” I managed to tell him even though it was really hard for me.
It was like I didn’t have any strength to even say those few words… not because I couldn’t, but because he already assumed that I was his favorite daughter… when I was clearly not.
I wanted to deny the feeling but that was what really hurts. It was hurting me more than the scars and fractures I had already endured.
But enough of me, where is she?
Hindi ko alam pero tila nagbago ang ekspresiyon ng mukha niya pagkarinig na ako si Athena. “No, hija! Nagha-hallucinate ka lang! It might be the effect of the accident but you’re Helena, okay? I’m sorry to tell you this, but Athena is dead.”
Akala ko, wala nang bago pa sa mararamdaman ko. Akala ko, sanay na akong masaktan sa tuwing ipinaparamdam niya sa akin na parang si Helena lang talaga ang anak niya. But what he just said gave me too much mental and emotional suffering I didn’t know if I could still bear.
Bakit napakadali at bakit parang wala lang sa kanya ‘yong sinabi niyang, “Athena is dead?” Pinilit kong labanan, pero nangilid agad ang mga luha ko sa aking mga mata.
But if he was telling me that I died, would that mean… Helena died?
“No, Dad! Listen to me, I’m Athena—the black sheep of the family and your rebellious daughter. Yes, we were identical but you knew right from the start that we were different when it comes to attitude. Dad, I’m Athena and I am not just hallucinating! I know who I am and I’m one hundred percent sure that I’m not Helena!”
Hindi ko na alam kung paano ko pa nasabi ang mga salitang ‘yon. Hindi ko na nakontrol pa ang sarili ko. Ayoko man, hindi ko na napigilan pa ang umiyak nang tuluyan. Pilit kong iniisip na sana ay panaginip na lang ang lahat. It was ironic, but I was torn between fighting for my own identity and mourning over the loss of my twin.
Daddy was about to speak when the doctor came followed by the two nurses. The doctor started to check my heartbeats, then, my eyes. He removed my bandage to check what I thought was a head wound and instructed the female nurse to replace it. The male nurse, on the other hand, injected something into my veins to help me calm down.
After that, the doctor introduced himself as Dr. Kim. He asked for my name and if I could still remember all the details before the accident happened.
“I’m Athena Cari Delgado, Doc. I was seated at the front seat with our father while my twin sister, Helena Mari, was sleeping at the back—” pero hindi pa ako tapos magsalita nang biglang sumabat si Daddy.
“No, Helena! Please stop this nonsense! Doc, please check my daughter again. I think, she was having an amnesia* or some kind of hallucination. I will pay for everything, I can even double your professional fee—name your price if you want! Just do everything to cure my daughter. Please make her remember that she was Helena.”
“Please relax, Mr. Delgado. We ran a series of tests sa naging brain damage ng anak niyo and fortunately, after two months of being comatose, she’s now free of any hemorrhage and blood clot. I didn’t see anything wrong with her. She’s completely fine and she’s also free of any psychological traumas. Actually, wala siyang amnesia. She clearly remembers everything and she’s very strong.”
Then, he paused.
“Even though you lost the other, your daughter here was a fighter and we can discharge her so she can continue her healing periods at home. Excuse us, we will leave you for now so you two can talk… but please do not stress the patient, Mr. Delgado. It will only affect her condition,” malumanay na sabi ng doktor bago siya lumabas ng kuwarto kasama ‘yong dalawang nurse.
Silence reigned the entire room before Daddy opened his mouth. “I still can’t believe this. So you’re Athena, huh?” he bitterly muttered as he broke down into tears. “So, it was really Helena who died? Oh, God! My Helena? What did you do to her? My daughter died because of you!”
He said those harsh words in a low tone but it was like a bomb that deafened both of my ears. He even pointed his finger on me as if I was a criminal being tried in court. It affected me so much that all I had to do was sob.
“And how about me, Dad? A-Am I not your daughter? Dad, anak niyo rin po ako. D-Don’t talk to me as if I was a different person outside our family, who just k-killed your beloved daughter! Kapatid ko si Helena, Dad. S-She was my twin sister and never in my entire life that I would want her d-dead! Huwag niyo naman pong isisi ang lahat sa akin, dahil aksidente po ang nangyari!” Wala na akong tigil sa pag-iyak at halos hindi na ako makahinga sa patuloy na pagsikip ng aking dibdib.
Kung alam ko lang na mangyayari ang lahat nang ito, hindi na sana ako pumayag sa kagustuhan ni Helena na magpalit kami ng puwesto sa sasakyan. Kung habambuhay lang akong sisisihin ni Daddy sa pagkamatay niya, sana ay ako na lang talaga ang nawala.
I would rather die than live like this. It was ironic that I wasn’t able to properly mourn over my twin sister’s death because of my father’s accusations… and it was slowly shattering me into pieces!
“Fix your things. We will leave now!” Iyon ang mga huling salitang narinig ko sa kanya, bago siya lumabas at padabog na isinara ang pinto ng kuwartong kinaroroonan ko.
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Amnesia* is a form of memory loss. Some people with amnesia have difficulty forming new memories. Others cannot recall facts or past experiences. People with amnesia usually retain the knowledge of their own identity, as well as motor skills.