Athena’s P.O.V.
Brent’s sweet smile disappeared when I returned him the white rose. “I’m sorry. I can’t accept this,” I directly told him.
It would be much better if at this early stage, I already made everything clear to him. Frankly speaking, I didn’t want to give him a chance… not even a one percent chance. I didn’t want to get his hopes too high. I didn’t want him to expect anything from me, even friendship. Ngayon ay alam ko na kung bakit parang iba ang mga tingin niya sa akin noon. May ibig palang sabihin ang lahat nang iyon.
“But, Helena…” he complained.
He didn’t want to get the flower so I had no other choice but place it on his desk, “No buts, no ifs.” I brusquely said.
“Uh oh, basted!” sabay-sabay na pang-aasar pa lalo ng grupong kinabibilangan niya.
Bumalik naman ako sa upuan ko, inayos ang mga gamit ko at hindi ko na sila nilingon pa. Kung nagalit man sa’kin si Brent ay wala akong pakialam. Hindi ko naman siya intensyong pahiyain sa lahat, I just wanted to make myself clear from the very start. Mabait pa nga ako sa lagay na ‘yon dahil hindi ko diretsahang sinabi na hindi ko siya gusto!
When I took my seat, I opened my bag to get my cellphone and bluetooth headset, then I listened to the music. One of my hobbies were composing songs and I was proud to say that I composed the majority of them in my playlist. I also opened one of my folders to sanity check our Annual Camp report until I got distracted by someone who sat beside me.
“Balita ko, absent daw si Jenny ngayon kaya dito muna ako uupo ha?” Hindi naman gano’n kalakas ang volume ng music ko kung kaya’t narinig ko pa rin ‘yong sinabi niya. Tumingin ako sa kanya at hindi ko alam kung bakit gano’n na lang ang mga ngiti niya na para bang ang saya-saya niya.
I rolled my eyes. “As if I care!” pagtataray ko kay Cristoff. Hindi ko alam pero pati siya ay nadadamay sa inis ko.
But deep inside, I knew it was only a front—a mask to cover what I really felt for him. I actually liked how he naturally brushed his hair today… and that made him totally different from anybody else.
“Ang sungit naman talaga… pero sabay tayong mag-lunch mamaya ha? Sasamahan pa kita sa clinic after that.” Kumindat pa ito sa akin.
Tiningnan ko lang siya nang masama to hide my unidentified feelings. Nagpatuloy lang ako sa pakikinig ng mga kanta ko hanggang dumating na nga si Mrs. Cheng.
Few hours went by and our first subject already ended. As usual, pabibo na naman si Cristoff but unlike before where he kept on debating with my answers, pinagbibigyan niya lang ako ngayon. Ang ganda pa nga ng mga ngiti niya sa’kin, para siyang baliw!
Before Mrs. Cheng went out of the classroom, Cristoff and I submitted to her our Annual Camp project proposal. She said that they, together with the higher office, would still review our report and would let us know for any changes on the plan.
Bago nakalabas ang lahat ng classmates namin ay nilapitan pa ako ni Brent.
“I’m sorry for what happened a while ago, Helena. I just want you to know my true feelings for you. Actually…” he paused for a few seconds before continuing his sentence, “I had a big crush on you, Helena. Matagal na. I guessed, it all started when we became groupmates in History. But if you didn’t like it, I promise that it won’t happen again. Huwag ka sanang mailang sa akin.”
I just nodded at him. Hindi na ako kumibo dahil baka hindi ko pa mapigilan ang bibig ko at baka kung ano lang ang masabi ko. Narinig ko pang medyo inaasar pa siya ng ilang barkada niya bago sila tuluyang lumabas ng classroom. They even mentioned the first name of Cristoff.
“Kaya pala kahit dati pa, iba na kung makatingin sa’yo ang kumag! May pa-rose-rose pa siyang nalalaman. Tsk, if only he knew that your favorite color was red and not white. Buti, binasted mo!” komento ni Cristoff nang wala nang iba pang tao sa paligid namin.
At pa’no naman niya nasabing iba na kung makatingin sa akin noon pa man si Brent?
“Correction—hindi ko siya binasted dahil in the first place, hindi naman siya nanliligaw sa’kin.” I said while sorting my folders.
“So, may pag-asa siya sa’yo kung sakali mang manligaw siya?” he asked. I wasn’t looking at him, but I think I could visualize that he was furrowing his eyebrows at this moment.
“Hmm, pag-iisipan ko… but why not? Gwapo naman siya.” I quickly looked at him and I saw how distraught crossed his entire face after hearing my answer.
I secretly smiled. Is he jealous?
The truth was I really didn’t see Brent as my boyfriend even though he was undeniably handsome. Baka sumabog lang kami dahil magkasing-puti kaming dalawa. Mas gusto ko pa rin kasi ‘yong moreno. Lalaking-lalaki kung tingnan.
Katulad ni…
“Tara na nga, kumain na tayo…” he changed the topic, at the same time, instinctively cutting my thoughts.
“Ayoko, hindi pa ako nagugutom.” Hindi ko siya tinitingnan at nanatili lang ako sa upuan ko. Hindi ko kasi talaga alam kung anong mayroon sa hair style niya at bakit parang ang gwapo niya ngayon.
So mas bagay pala sa kanya ‘pag walang gel or wax ang buhok? ‘Yong natural lang…
“Eh pa’no ka niyan gagaling nang tuluyan kung hindi ka kakain?” he argued. His hair style plus his concerns for me? What more could I ask for?
Oh my God, Athena! Stop!
“Bakit ba ang kulit mo? Hindi pa nga ako gutom. Pupunta na lang muna siguro ako sa clinic,” tumayo ako at saka sinukbit ang bag sa kanang balikat ko bago niyakap ang mga folder sa dibdib ko.
“‘Di ba nga, sasamahan din kita sa clinic? Eh ‘di sa clinic muna tayo… baka mahilo ka pa sa daan, kung ano pang mangyari sa’yo! Akin na ‘yang bag mo, ako na ang magdadala.”
I was about to protest again when someone caught my attention, that was why I looked at that person. For that, I unconsciously gave my bag to Cristoff.
“D-Dave…”