Athena’s P.O.V.
Sa nangyari kagabi ay hindi ko alam kung paano ko pakikiharapan si Cristoff ngayon. We were almost together the whole day yesterday, but when he said goodbye, doon na lang ulit bumalik ang hiya ko. Uuwi na nga lang siya, why does he have to remind me of my red two-piece that he inadvertently saw?
I was about to enter our classroom but at the same time, I was holding back. I was thinking of cutting classes again or going to the clinic and pretend that I was still sick.
Eventually, I made my decision.
I stepped backwards at nang lumingon ako para tumakbo palayo sa classroom namin ay may taong bigla namang sumalubong sa akin. Our distance was almost an inch at aaminin kong bahagya pa niyang nahalikan ang tungki ng ilong ko sa pagkakabangga namin.
“Oops, sana magka-height na lang tayong dalawa para diretso roon ‘yong lips ko…” sabi niya habang tinuturo ang mga labi ko gamit ang nguso niya.
I felt like I was blushing again. How many times do I have to feel like this?
Kung ito na ‘yong tinatawag nilang kilig, hindi ko alam. Sa tinuran niyang ‘yon ay hindi ako nakapagsalita. Bakit ba kasi iba ang nararamdaman ko sa tuwing kasama ko siya? Na parang gusto ko na siya laging makita?
It was already too far from the day we first met. And I must admit that this strange feeling also made me feel scared… scared enough because I might get used to it. That in the end, I wouldn’t want to be away from him.
I promised myself not to be friends with anyone here, most especially to him… but what is happening to me now?
“But where do you think you’re going, Helena?” he asked before looking at his wristwatch. “Fifteen minutes na lang, darating na si Ma’am.”
“I—I’m going to the clinic… hindi pa kasi ako magaling eh. Actually, pinilit ko lang pumasok but I’m still not feeling well. Masakit pa rin ang ulo ko,” pagsisinungaling ko. Ang totoo niyan ay magaling na talaga ako and I guessed, he contributed well sa paggaling ko. He made me glow like nobody else could… without even doing anything.
“Gano’n ba? Samahan na kita sa clinic. Tara… ako na ang magdadala ng mga gamit mo,” he offered. I was hesitant to give my bag to him because it was too girly, pero masyadong mabilis ang mga pangyayari. Namalayan ko na lang na nakasukbit na sa balikat niya ang red shoulder bag ko at hawak na rin niya ang mga folder ko.
Alanganin akong ngumiti. “Ah, ano—I’ve changed my mind na, Cristoff. Kaya ko pa naman, mamaya na lang siguro ako pupunta sa clinic. A-Akin na ‘yong bag ko, nakakahiya sa mga nakakakita sa atin dito. Baka kung ano pang isipin nila—” I wasn’t yet finished when he swiftly cut me off.
“Eh ano naman? Wala naman tayong ginagawang masama. Tsaka first time ba nilang makakita nang ganito? Basta sasamahan kita sa clinic mamaya ha? Tara, pasok na tayo.” He said it quite loudly which made me wander my eyes around.
Halos lahat ng mga estudyante sa hallway ay nakatingin tuloy sa aming dalawa. Nahagip pa nga ng dalawang mata ko ‘yong ex-girlfriend niya, before Cristoff gave me back my folders and softly turned me around.
He placed both of his hands on my shoulders and gently pushed me towards the direction of our classroom. Para akong nakuryente sa mga kamay niyang nakahawak sa mga balikat ko, but I must admit that I loved the feeling. However, I couldn’t help but think that he was only doing this to make his ex-girlfriend jealous and I didn’t want to be used by him. I didn’t want to be involved in their stupid love quarrel.
Sa paglipat ni Vanessa sa ibang section ay nawalan na ng katabi si Cristoff on his right side. I remained sitting at his back and I had no intention of moving to his ex-girlfriend’s seat. Baka kasi kung ano pang mas malalang virus ang nandoon, lalo pa akong magkasakit.
Pagpasok namin sa classroom, katulad nang eksena kanina sa hallway, lahat ng pares ng mga mata ay nakatingin din sa aming dalawa. Ang iba ay nang-aasar at ang iba naman ay parang nagdududa—as if something wrong was going on between the two of us. I hurriedly grabbed my bag from Cristoff and went to my chair… but I wasn’t yet able to sit down when I saw a white rose on my desk.
“Boo… sorry ka na lang, Brent! White rose lang ang sa’yo, naunahan ka naman ni Dave sa pagdala ng bag. Finish na, guys… may nanalo na!” Narinig kong pang-aasar ng isa naming classmate kay Brent. Kung alam lang nilang nasa bahay pa nga namin kahapon si Cristoff at halos buong araw kaming magkasama ay lalo pa nila kaming aasarin.
“Uy, huwag ka ngang maingay!” saway naman ni Brent dito.
Why did I get so disappointed upon learning the truth that this rose came from Brent? Am I expecting someone to give this to me? But instead of white, I want red. I picked the white rose while dismissing my impossible thoughts.
The reason why I loved roses was that they resembled me. And he, who would dare to love me must grasp my thorns as well. There was no way to hold something beautiful without cuddling its intricate consequences.
Staring intently at its beautiful thorns, I was not born yesterday not to know what this means. Obviously, Brent was trying to confess his secret feelings for me by giving me this.
For three months that I had been studying here at St. Augustine’s Academy, I was able to know the names of my classmates. And I knew that Brent was one of those who are also running for honors. Ilang beses ko na rin siyang naging kagrupo at masasabi kong isa siyang magaling na leader. He was half-Filipino and half-American who stood at around 5’9”. He was having light brown hair and blue gray eyes, but he was clearly not my type.
I looked at Brent at namumula naman itong kumaway sa akin. He was all-out smiling while others were still teasing him. I came closer to them and his eyes scintillated as he smiled even more, but all of a sudden…