"I didn't know that being honest to your job is a sin now. I mean, what Seo Woo Jin did was of utmost right and responsible. He is a doctor who wanted to save lives after all," I've been binge-watching this Korean drama called Doctor Romantic Teacher Kim and I'm on the second season already.
It's not something I do in my everyday life, but, I guess I find his and my life just the same.
We both had to make a living to support ourselves.
I know Kris is never the sweet type, but can't he even give the wet towel properly? I just don't want to think that he hates me so much, "Are you going to lock yourself in? I mean, you can do a lot more. Imagine! You have finished the first season."
That's shocking indeed. I rarely watch television, "As much as I wanted go out, alam mo naman na daig ko pa ang most wanted criminal ng Pilipinas at bawat galaw ko alam nila." I threw the towel on the sink and rinse it. Mag mula rin nang mang yari ang mga yun, hindi na nawala ang lagnat ko. It seems like my body is making its own excuses.
From inside the bathroom I can still hear him mumble. "Just tell me kung gusto mo nang umurong sa plano niyo and let your dreams shattered into pieces."
I looked at myself in the mirror.
Aaminin ko, there were nights na gusto kong mag back out. It's not because I'm scared of marriage but I don't want to entangle him with my own problem.
There is still pieces of thread in my mind wherein it could always connects to that woman. I got involved in her life once. I think sapat na warning na yun para umayaw na.
It's hard to think only of myself in this situation.
Hindi lamang pawis ang naging puhunan 'ko to get where I am right now.
"Bestie, don't worry. He'll pick me up here today to talk about the terms and conditions." Can I request for a non refund negotiation?
He rolled his eyes at me. "I am not worried about you no. After all what happened during our high school. Natatakot ako for Gabe," he said teasing me while helping me fix my clothes. But he stopped in the middle and hugged me suddenly.
I could not help but feel shy all of a sudden.
We've been friends for a quite long, and I already lost counts of how many times I've cried and messed up in front of him.
I'm comfortable with him alone in my life. Now, that I am going to start a new life I don't know if I can be as home as I am with Kris. 
I mean, he is not bad at all. Mayaman naman siya, hindi niya kailangan ng pera 'ko.
A small smile flustered in my face as I felt his shoulders move, "If only I am just as rich as he is." But I know how rich he is when it comes to understanding.
Imagine, being friends with me for a long time?
Hindi naman sa sinasabi kong masama ang ugali 'ko, pero parang ganun na rin siguro yun? Because I only have him as my friend.
Pero hindi na ako para mag reklamo. Because Kris alone is enough to cater at least five friends that I don't have.
I am not anti social, I just don't get along along with people well, unlike Kris who has been awarded as the friendliest Doctor ever existed.
Hindi na siya nakipag talo sa akin at bigla na lamang akong hinatak para yakapin ulit. I can feel his shoulder shaking.
Sabihan niyo na akong selfish at masama ang ugali, pero we both know that we need each other. Ulila na si Kris at ako na lamang ang tumatayong Nanay, at kapatid niyang babae.
There are no other feelings involved between us.
No such thing as I am inlove with my best friend and I am choosing what we have now so I will never lose each other.
I mean, that's so 2000? 
I love the fact that there is no complicated feelings between us. Just me and Kris chilling and vibing all the way.
I can always be here with him, through thick and thin. Kahit gaano ka hirap and he also knew that no matter what happen between us, siya at siya ang pipiliin at uunahin ko. That's why up until now, walang tumatagal na lalake sa akin. They couldn't understand the bond we have.
But who cares?
I can manage alone without men in my life. 
Love will come to me even though I wasn't expecting it. Hindi ko naman minamadali, at wala rin namang masama na tumanda akong dalaga.
Hanggang sa matapos kami sa pag-aayos, hindi kumikibo si Kris. 
"Can I give a little comment about your life?" tiningnan 'ko lamang siya habang hawak hawak ang seat belt. He knows that one comment can bring two black eyes. "Its weird that I can only see your relationship with Doc Kris as brothers and sisters."
So, he knows how to use his brasin once in a while. I nodded as an answer, "Well, you are the very first one who did not find anything wrong with being friend with him."
Just like an imbecile, he stares at my face far too long that I almost poke his eyes out. He laugh as he saw how my eyebrows furrowed. "People should stop romanticizing every single matter."
This time, I could not help but watch him laugh.
It's fun to watch how his eyes always smiles along with him, and because of that he seems like trust worthy and sincere human being.
But, I would not tell him that. Bahala siya sa buhay niya.
He once again looked at me, "Are we good?" I just nodded my head as an answer to him and he smiled once more. Wow, he must really like smiling. "Then, off we go!" he said happily.
I could not help but laugh. "Parang bata," his laugh sounded real. Yung tawang hindi napipilitan. Tawang nag eenjoy lang. "You are very surprising, sutil." 
"It's my first time, too" my eyebrows automotically furrowed, minsan judgemental din tong kilay 'ko eh. "You should know that you are the very first person who called me imbecile, as a heir that hurts you know?"
"Wow, that was unexpected." I am enjoying his smile, I have to admit it. It's the most realistic smile I have ever seen in my whole life. 
It's like this guy has nothing to hide, and he is not pretending to be someone he is not. He is just happy, and some times sad because he is a human after all.
I just hate how he reminds me of the things I should do as a sick person.
He is too persistent, na as a Doctor na kukulitan na ako sakaniya.
But I am not going to open that conversation with him, because I won't brag my title and I will never belittle him.
Tama naman ang lahat ng pinaalala niya sa akin, and most specially he is doing it because he simply cares.
I will not take that away from him.
Even though he uses only twenty percent of his brain, he is just doing what he supposed to do as my future husband. As an imbecile, I could say he is a responsible man.
I did not feel any awkwardness between us, it feels like we knew each other in our past lives, and waking up seeing his smile is not bad after all.
His parents house looks refreshing in the eyes. Wala masyadong bongga na gamit o mga kung ano ano na display.
You can see how humble these family by just simply looking at their house. Walang masakit sa mata na unnecessary furnitures, and you will never see anything extravagant.
Speaks a lot about him and his family.
I waited for him in the living room with his bodyguards. They are entertaining me at hindi ko naman maitanggi na talagang nakatutuwa sila. Halos manigas na ang panga 'ko sa kakatawa sakanila.
They are all cute and scary at the same time. I bet they got their personality from that imbecile.
"I bet I am going to have fun," I could not help but comment. Takang tiningnan niya ako as he keeps on driving, "I am already loving your bodyguards."
From my peripheral vision, I can see him looking at me. Naka ngiti lang siya all the time at sobrang gaan sa pakiramdam. Parang puro good news lang ang dadating, "I personally chose them. Tingnan mo naman, they know how to respect our space."
Mabilis akong tumango sakaniya habang sinisilip ang isang kotse na naka sunod sa amin. The car is pink! Kaya hindi mo pag hihinalaan na may bodyguard na naka sunod sa amin and unlike those bodyguards in the movies, kapag casual days lang na ganito hindi sila naka suit and tie. "You must be a very good boss. They seem like they are enjoying,"
Saglit siyang napa kamot sa ulo niya bago tumawa. Bungisngisin din ang isang 'to ah. Nakakapag taka kung bakit niya naging girlfriend yung babaeng yun, "Wow, that is the very first compliment since we've met."
Hindi ko rin naman maiwasan na hindi matawa sa sinabi niya. Because it's true. Nanlalaki yung mga mata niya habang papalit palit ng tingin sa akin at sa daan, kaya mas lalo akong na tawa. "I know that my tongue is sharp, pero marunong naman akong tumawa. Ano ba namang tingin yan?"
He shrug his head smiling. Sa daan pa rin ang tingin niya pero madalas ay sumusulyap sa akin to ask if I am okay. "I thought you will not come with me alone."
"I know it's the second time we meet, pero thinking how rich you are, sigurado naman ako na wala kang gagawin sa akin. You don't need my kidney." nag tataka man ay naka tawang naka tingin ito sa daan. "What? Why? Do you need my kidney?!" 
He let out a soft laugh as he adjusted the rearview mirror, "i could not believe that you don't remember me." 
Ibinalik 'ko ang tingin 'ko sakaniya habang pilit na inaalala kung saan 'ko ba siya nakita, "Aside from the television, I don't remember seeing you anywhere."
"It's not unusual though. All the time you spent was in the library," kibit balikat akong tumingin sakaniya. Is he going to make me guess? Mahina siyang na tawa when he realizes I am not going to guess at all. "Serenity, I was your high school student council president."
For a while I stare at his face trying to remember, but when he smiles all of a sudden it feels like it brought me back to that scenario. "So, you should also know that I didn't like people calling me that."
"Why? It suits you." I could not give another answer after that.
This is the first time someone told me that. I mean, like I care? It's not like people are curious about my life and my name.
I just hate how I hear that name that I know did not fit my life perfectly. I am not hypocrite, or maybe I am just cynical and pessimist about the life I have live.
All the way to our house, wala siyang ibang ginawa kung hindi ang mag daldal.
Hindi na rin masama, nawawala yung mga iniisip 'ko. Nababawasan yung takot at kabang nararamdaman 'ko.
Aminin ko man o hindi, he is really a warm person. I just don't get it why the people in press, sees him as someone I will never get along with.
You can never really judge a person by just looking at them. You might miss the special thing some people love about them.
I am very sure that my father will be very fond of him.
Because just like me, we both love warm people like him. Para kasing walang masamang tinapay sa tao na 'to. I can still remember the hug, it was so longing. 
Imagine, iniwan na siya't lahat lahat pero parang wala naman siyang galit na naramdaman.
I kind of envy him.
All my life I have been living with hatred and pain. 
I just wanted to be care free and happy again. Kasi pakiramdam 'ko, hanggat may galit sa puso ko, hindi 'ko mararamdaman yung happiness na hinahanap 'ko.
Of course, I know that.
That in order to be happy again, I have to let go of the pain I have carrying.
Pero it's not as easy as people can say it is. From accepting and forgiving pa lang ay isang malaking ka bigatan na.
When we arrived, madali siyang bumaba para pag buksan ako ng pinto. Let's see kung gaano siya ka consistent, "Are you nervous?" before answering him, pinagmasdan 'ko muna siya. He looks confident naman pero hindi yung tipong mayabang tingnan.
Mahina akong na tawa sa tanong niya, "Dude, it's my father. Why would I be nervous? Sumama na kayong apat. Ipag luluto ko kayo," I know our house is not big enough to accomodate them all, pero pwede na. Marunong naman siguro silang yumuko.
Nauna na akong mag lakad kaya humabol sa akin si sutil, "Wow, my future wife knows how to cook. Akala ko tao lang ang kaya mong biyakin," napa lakas ang tawa ko sa sinabi niya. Bigla na naman siyang napa tigil ang naka ngiting naka tingin lamang sa akin. "The more you smile, the more I can see the difference between you and Serene."
I ignored what he said. This is the first time someone said na may kaibahan ako sa kaniya, and this is the second time he noticed. I somehow felt okay in the inside. "Paps, I'm home!"
This is not the first time he said that.
I can still remember how he differentiates us before, and that is something I could not forget.
Finally! Someone uses their brain to tell us apart, and I like how he simply uses his words not to make it sound like he is comparing me with that woman.
This is why I love going home, "Anak!" madali niya akong niyakap ng mahigpit at ramdam 'ko ang pag aalala niya sa bawat hagod ng kamay niya mula sa likod 'ko. "Pinag alala mo naman ako. Mabuti na lang at tinatawag tawagan ako ni Kristian. Nag pasalamat ka ba sakaniya ng mabuti?"
I can't help but cry in his arms. 
This is the first time in my life that I have seen him so worried about me. 
Nasanay kasi ako na uuwi ka lang sa bahay para matulog at maligo. Halos hindi na nga ako nakasasabay sa pag kain simula nung mag college ako.
From the first day I met his body guards, wala na akong ibang ginawa kung hindi ang umiyak ng umiyak. 
Ngayon pa ba ako mahihiya? I am in my territory!
I have to feel comfortable around them, and they are big guys with big hearts I don't have to worry about them being with me.
I just can feel how warm they are, as warm as that imbecile who's carefully watching me and my father.
I mean, I am not in some sort of movies, pero oo. Madrama rin ang buhay 'ko. Papasa pang MMK at Magpakailaman.
Yung tipong binabasa pa lamang ni Ate Charo at Mareng Mel, umiiyak na sila. 
After the heart warming scene, of course it is, I am always sentimental when it comes to my father, after all, he is all I have now.
Gusto 'ko sana mag usap na silang dalawa habang pinag luluto ko sila nang makakain. 
Pero gusto ni Papa na nandun ako kapag nag usap sila, kaya yung limang asungot lahat nandito sa kusina namin at parang mga bata kung makidutdot.
Kada dutdot naman nila ay hampas ang inaabot nila sa akin.
Kung hindi sila titigil sa pangingialam baka bagong taon na hindi pa kami nakakakain.
"Pwedeng ayusin niyo na lang yung lamesa? Baka mamaya mamali ako ng tingin at isa sa mga kamay niyo ang mataga 'ko." hindi na kinalaingan na takutin pa sila ng pangalawang beses at mabilis pa sa ala singko na umalis ang apat.
Yung sutil nilang amo, nandito sa tabi 'ko at mukhang batang musmos sa tuwing pinapalo 'ko ang kamay. 
Hindi 'ko naman ineexpect na marunong siyang mag luto. Ang kinis kinis kaya ng kamay niya, "Kaya pala ang daming peklat ng kamay mo, ano?" mahina akong na tawa sa sinabi niya. Tahimik siyang naka tingin sa mga kamay 'ko, "Kitang kita sa mga kamay mo yung mga hirap na pinag daanan mo."
Na bigla ako nang bigla niyang hawakan ang mga kamay 'ko, "The first time I started holding a scalpel, I could not help but tremble and ended up using it on my own hands," those were just the basic story on how I get where I am standing now. "But look at me now. I can hold a scalpel very well. Walang nginig." taas kilay na tiningnan 'ko ang mag kahawak naming kamay. "You? Why didn't you choose to be a doctor? It's fun."
His mischievous smile suddenly vanished. Napakamot ito sa ulo bago alangan na tumawa, "I don't know. I just don't feel like it."
"It's obvious. You don't look like you can open a human," this is the first time I saw him disgusted. Para bang diring diri siya sa ideya na bubuklatin niya yung tao. "Alam mo anong pinaka gusto ko sa lahat? Heart surgery. Alam mo ba yung fulfillment na nararamdaman ko kapag nahahawakan ko yung puso habag tumitibok pa?" mas lalong lumaki yung ngiwi niya kaya hindi ko na mapigilan na hindi matawa.
It's really fun seeing how he can change his reaction that easily.
I guess, he has it easy in life?
Hindi naman siguro siya yung male lead sa isang movie na may super hurtful past, right? 
Because if he is, I could no longer see life as it is. I mean, his smile is something people like me would like to see everyday.
It seems selfish, pero, that is the reality of life.
It's funny to think I am scared to know the real story behind his smile. I am not ready to hear it. I just don't like hearing sad stories. Because it hurts.
Yes, I am selfish, and I only want my story. Ayokong makarinig mula sa iba. It's burden enough for me, how can I burden myself even more?
"Tutulong na lang din ako dun ha?" I came back to my senses when I saw him still thinking about what I said. 
Mahina akong na tawa as I watch him trembles. Sa rami ng kalokohan sa katawan mukhang sa ganung kwento lang pala tatablan.
Just by watching him, I can definitely say na I am going to have fun, and I will make sure to enjoy while it lasts. 
We are not in some sort of fairy tales, after all.
I know that there will be a lot of adjsument in my life. Mahirap, kasi hindi ako sanay na ibang lalake ang kasama sa bahay. Maliban kay Papa, kay Kris lang ako kumportable.
Pinilit kong ituon ang atensyon 'ko sa pag luluto habang naririnig 'ko ang malalakas nilang tawanan. 
Hindi ako mapakali, gusto kong makita kung ano yung ginagawa nila, parang nangangati yung mga paa 'ko.
Pero mas matibay ang paninindigan 'ko kaysa sa ka chismosahan kong taglay.
Nang matapos ako sa pag luluto, hindi na kasama nung apat si Papa at si sutil. Pinuntahan 'ko na lang muna sila sa likod ng bahay, dahil dun ang paboritong tambayan ni Papa kapag gusto niyang makipag usap sa akin.
Dapat nga lang namin bilisan at ang sama nang tingin nung apat dun sa niluto 'ko, baka mamaya sa kabagalan namin ay wala nang matira para sa amin.
I was about call Papa when I heard him sighed heavily. "She might look like she can handle everything, but believe when I say My Serenity is a cry baby," I am still my Father's baby after all these years.
I can't clearly see his reaction but his voice is so low, "I can see that, Sir." He said full of respect. "I heard what happened with her very first operation. She is the only one who had the guts to try and save her." That... was one of the saddest moment of my life. But, also, that moment taught me a lot about life. It's funny how I've cried and locked my self in the room back then and now, I'm just too proud of myself I risk everything I had. "When my Father heard I was about to marry her, he looks like he is already going to be a grandfather," aw, that's sweet. One of the most respectable doctors of the century is excited to have my kid as his own?
"Mabuti naman pala at walang problema sa pamilya mo. Dahil maliban sa pagiging maunawain na Tatay sainyong dalawa wala na akong kayang ibigay," THIS MAN! Kahit ilang beses kong sinabi sakaniya na I only need him palagi siyang humihingi ng tawad sa akin.
Imagine, seeing your Father asking for your forgiveness just because hindi niya maibigay ang luho na hindi mo naman kailangan?
God will only know how much thankful and grateful I am as his daughter.
He had given me much more than I have asked. He loved and cared for me when no one else does, and I just can't imagine his sacrifices not just for me but the family he's been trying to get back.
I could not ask anything from him anymore. 
I just want my Father to live a happy and healthy life, that's it.
The imbecile heir, let out a small laugh. "Sir, your understanding means everything already," Yes, coming from a very rich kid. Of course, aanhin pa ba niya ang pera namin kung kaya naman niyang siya na lang mag bigay ng sweldo 'ko? "Kagaya po ng laging sinasabi ni Daddy, walang halaga ang makatutumbas sa taong may malaking pang unawa. Kaya saludo po ako sainyo."
Aaminin 'ko... what he said touch my heart. Another unexpected from that imbecile.
It's not like I am expecting more from him, but he just surpises me every time. I mean, I did judge him just by his cover and not by the pages.
I've heard a lot about him, good and even bad. But people must not really base on what they are hearing unless they experienced it first handedly.
We really could not judge a person the first time we meet them.
I am happy.
That meant a lot to my father... and of course, to me.
Gusto 'ko mang pigilan ang mga luha kong nababadya, wala akong ibang na gawa kung hindi ang umiyak mula sa pwesto 'ko.
Those were the words I couldn't say to my father. But at least, the compliment came from other person. Hindi niya iisipin na dahil anak niya ako kaya 'ko nasasabi ang mga bagay na yun.
I wanted to hug him. 
Lalo na sa nakikita ko sa mga mata niya. Kahit hindi man niya sabihin, alam kong masaya siya sa na rinig niya. Gusto ko siyang yakapin, dahil finally, ngumingiti na ulit ang mga mata niya.
"Thank you, Zybe." we are already going back to their house. Magulang naman niya ang kakausapin namin ngayon. Ang haba ng araw, ano? Parang shotgun wedding, lahat minamadali. Pero matatapos din naman 'to, diba?
Mula sa pag mamaneho, palipat lipat ang tingin niya sa akin at sa daan. Gusto ko siyang tuktukan pero may maganda naman siyang na gawa ngayon. "Did I heard it right? Tinawag mo ako sa pangalan ko?"
Na tawa na lamang ako bago siya nginitian, "After all, you deserved it. Hindi ka naman pala kasi sutil, pa minsan minsan lang." he was clueless with what I said. Syempre, hindi naman niya alam na narinig 'ko silang nag uusap ni Papa kanina. "What you said with Papa earlier, meant a lot to him. Kung nakilala ka niya bilang boyfriend nung babaeng yun, I am sure, mas magiging proud pa siya sakaniya."
He did not flinch.
What? Am I wrong? What am I missing here? It's like my words are not meant for him, and his relationship with her.
Just thinking about her makes my heart hurt. Mahina na lamang akong tumawa bago isinandal ang ulo ko sa bintana at pinanuod ang pag patak ng ulan, "She must have hurt you so much. To the point that you can't even mention her name anymore." he wasn't the first person to say that.
"It stinks, ano?" hindi pa man siya sumagot ay sinundan 'ko, "My hatred with that woman reeks. Sobrang baho na kahit ako minsan hindi ko kinakaya yung amoy," mahina akong tumawa bago saglit siyang nilingon. Seryoso lamang siyang nakikinig but I know how curious he is with what happened. "Aren't you gonna ask me what happened? In the first place, you deserve to know."
Nag kibit balikat lamang siya bago ngumiti sa akin, "I want to hear what happened with your very first operation instead." napa ayos ako ng upo and found myself crying... again. I know he wanted me to stop from talking about what happened to us. He gets it. Alam niyang ayokong pag-usapan. "Did I said something wrong?" tarantang tanong nito sa akin.
"You are doing a very good job being a human, do you know that?" mahina itong na tawa.
His smile did reach his eyes, and from the very sad rain, I found a glimpse of happiness in his eyes, "Am I?" this imbecile is giving me outright judgement about people. "We all have matters in life we don't talk about, right?"
For the nth time, I was just staring at him, thinking if people like him really exist. "You are too good to be true. I mean, you can be whoever you wanted in front of me." he looked at me dismayed, who did not? "I worked as part time jidger. I am telling you this so you don't get shocked in the future."
"Is it really that hard for you to trust and to see that there are still good in people?" do I really have to do that? I have been called names all my life just by being her twin, so what's the point now?
I rolled my eyes trying not to cross the line, "For what? I hate people in general." I said in a matter of fact tone. Napahawak ako sa seat bealt when he break. "What?" 
For a while, naka tingin lamang siya sa akin. It's kind of annoying. Para niya akong pinag aaralan. "You hate yourself," hindi makapaniwalang usal niya. "You don't hate people, Serenity. You hate yourself and you are trying too much to hate the life you have."
"How do you say so? It's not like you have seen me crawl and beg for my life. I mean, stop giving comments about my life." he just sat there waiting for me to talk about I hate how this world is cruel and mean to me. "Are we still going to continue about this marriage?" naiirita man ay, I am trying to stay calm as much as possible.
He is not removing his eyes on me and it's making me uncomfortable, "I am not going to force you on doing something you doesn't like, Serenity." I looked at him dismayed. Why am I putting my hopes up at him? "You are mad because you are clearly hearing the voices you hid for how long?"
Sa inis ay tinanggal 'ko ang seat belt at hinarap siya. As much as I want control my temper, I could no longer hold it in my hands. "Whether I wanted to listen in those voices or not will never matter to anyone. I kept it there hidden to protect myself from people like you!"
"People like what exactly, Serenity?"
"Why do you keep calling me that?! I will and could never live up to that name. Stop testing my patience, Mr. Lim. Because I am not as desparate as I look like." I am chasing my breath the moment I stopped talking.
I saw him smirkeed and started driving. This is a long day! Can't we just go home? "Do you know how I can eaily tell you and Serene apart?" Aba't, hindi pa talaga siya titigil?! "Even though you kept telling us that you hate her, what reeks the most is that you never did anything or said anything to make us hate her, too. You have to look back from time to time." His smile did not reach his eyes. I could no longer see the excitement from his eyes. "People are there to make our life exciting, but yes, who are you to give comments about how I live my life as well?"