Humairah didn't know what to think when she heard her sister admitting that she had committed Zina.
Nur is the purest, righteous, and holiest person she knows, but hearing her spill out her sin she felt disgust seeping into her mind.
"Was Nur a hypocrite all along?" That thought kept bugging her. So when Nur tried to read the expression on her face, she had resolved to the easiest way out, concealing everything she felt. She couldn't let Nur know what she was thinking, because even if at that moment she wasn't pleased with her, she didn't want to hurt her more than she was already hurting.
"Little did I know that I would also want this Wedding as soon as possible." that was Nur's last sentence before they heard their Umma's voice calling for Nur, and she had left, whispering.
"I'll be back."
Humairah nodded then adjusted her position on the bed resting her head on a pillow. Thankful that her mother had called Nur,she needed time to process what Nur had told her. Nur's words kept running through her mind and to her surprise she could totally relate to whatever she had felt, after all she had also dressed to impress Imran.
She had allowed Imran to touch her, hold her, her hands, her waist, her shoulder.
"Ya Allah,Just what have I been doing." Humairah lamented.
Reviewing her actions had made her aware of how wrong everything was.
How she was the hypocrite not her sister.
"Who am I to judge Nur, to feel disgusted by a sin that I would have also committed if I had the opportunity. If we had space, if I hadn't attended a university in Saudi, if Imran had the means to come see me, if I wasn't under Nur's supervision, I would have done what she had done. Maybe even more and Nur had Known Amar Forever.
I met Imran in Ess3. Nur knew Amar's family.lnfact she was like their daughter. I don't know any of Imran's relatives,Amar had never raised his hands on Nur. Imran had slapped me more times than I can count, yelled and abused me but I still would have given anything he asked for, even if it was my dignity."
"Innaalillahi Wainna Ilaihirraaji'un. I had disobeyed my Umma, My Abba,My Allah, All for Imran and I still am shameless enough to judge someone who regrets her mistake,who have truly repented, who is trying to save me from myself, Innaalillahi Wainna Ilaihirraaji'un."
Humairah kept lamenting as tears streamed down her cheeks.
She hugged her pillow, her face buried in it,crying quietly, her tears soaking it,  her sins becoming more evident to her and clouds of regret and shame looming over her.
"Goodnight,Umma, Allah ya tashe mu lafiya." Nur's voice rang in her ear and she quickly stood up to wash her face in a bid to hide her pain from Nur.
"Mairah should I go on or are u sleepy ?" Nur said to Humairah who was coming out of the bathroom.
"No Nur, tell me everything, Let me share in your pain." Humairah replied with an assuring smile and tears glistening in her eyes.
On hearing Humairah's reply, Nur felt relief, ecstasy and waves of confidence. She thought Humairah would judge her, feel disgusted, but here, her beautiful little sister is consoling her, lending her a shoulder to cry on.
"Alhamdulilah." She whispered,closing her eyes.
Humairah moved closer to Nur holding her hand.  Nur closed her hand over Humairah's then smiled at her and made for the bed, where they sat and Nur continued her tale, her voice more steady, and her confidence elevated knowing her sister would never judge her.
"Two months later, I discovered I was pregnant.
Mairah, I was 16 and pregnant.
I was so confused. At first when i hadn't seen my period consecutively, I was in total denial, so I bought 5 pregnancy test kits and to my dismay, they all tested positive, as if I hadn't had enough,my exams was the next week. I was so distraught.
What will I tell Mum?
How will I hide this?
Or should I abort it?
Many things ran through my mind.
Many possibilities, many scenarios and I tell you none were good. So I went for the best solution I had come up with."
"What is it?" Humairah interrupted anxiously.
Nur smiled a little then replied.
"I packed my weekend bag and made for home.
When I arrived, Ummah and Abba were  surprised as I had already informed them my exams commenced next week.
You were the only one completely glad to see me.
I remember you wouldn't let me out of your sight."
"When Ummah and Abbah finally called me to inquire why the sudden visit,I told them I wanted to get married immediately after my exams."
" Nur do you know what you are saying?
Why all of a sudden?
Don't you want to finish your education?
Don't you want to become an architect anymore?
You are just 16, what do you know about men, about marriage?
Wait...
Are you pregnant?
Have you been sleeping around with guys in school?
Who is the stupid boy that is making you do this?
Tell me Nur, tell me before I pounce on you!!!" Ummah questioned.Her voice loud, her eyes blazing and her nose flaring.
I couldn't reply. I just sat there mute, willing myself not to cry.
"Nur, who is the boy?" Abbah asked quietly.
"Amar. Abbah." I replied, my voice barely a whisper.
"That spoilt brat, I thought you had stayed away from him,so you still met up with him behind my back, I'll teach you a lesson today." Ummah said and before I knew what was happening, she slapped me, she slappwed me again but was stopped on her third attempt by Abbah who held her hand.
"Leave me, let me beat some sense into her head." Ummah screamed .
"Look at her,does she look like she's joking, does it look like your slaps will change her  mind?" Abbah motioned to me who just stood In my place, my head bent, but something about my posture, my stance,screamed my resolve.
Ummah collapsed on Abbah crying
"Why Nur?
"Why?"
"What have you done?
"Tell me.I am your mother, we will solve it together." I just shook my head, knowing not telling her was the best for everyone.
Tears began to cloud my vision.
"I am sorry Ummah, but this is what I want. Iam sorry." I said dropping to my knees
" Ummah, Abbah, please grant my request." I finished Quietly.
Abba just stared at me for sometime obviously baffled by my resolve then motioned me to leave the room, which I did, but stayed right behind the door hearing all they were saying.
"Where did we go wrong?
"Why is she doing this?" Ummah wailed .
"If a girl like Nur gathers the confidence to come and look at her parents in the eye and announce that she wants to get married and stand by her decision the way she did just now, something had gone wrong and she's trying to correct it. She doesn't want to make more mistakes.
I feel its better to marry her off. I know its hard and this is not what we planned for, but there's nothing we can do. We have to protect our daughter and if what we are thinking is what happened, then its better we consent to this marriage, get it done as soon as possible.
Let's pray to Allah to grant her happiness and fulfillment. Then we will plead with Amar to allow her complete her studies.
That's the best option we have."Abbah replied to Ummah.
I could hear Ummah's cries but there was nothing I could do, that was when I started regretting my actions, that was when I understood the implications of my actions or at least started to understand."
Non English words and translation
Innaalillahi Wainna Ilaihirraaji'un- from Allah we are and to him we shall return. It is recommended to recite it in times of difficulty.
Allah ya tashe mu lafiya- May Allah wake us up well.
Alhamdulilah - Thanks be to Allah
   
  Mistakes must be made, what makes one better than the other is admitting, sincerely regretting, totally repenting and seeking Allah's forgiveness. Allah is the All- forgiving and most merciful.