" Hey, Yang?"
" What's with the call, Mia?" tanong ko, bored na bored.
" Why do you sound so annoyed? Aren't you happy I called you, bespren?" Tawa niya.
" I'm doing something here, okay?" I defended myself.
Well, am I? Kidding.
" I know what are doing, you're just scrolling in facebook finding some meme to share. Gosh, Leah! When will you stop doing that? I mean when we are in school and it's vacant you're doing that and when it's weekend you're also doing that," she scolded me.
" You talk too much girl."
" When will you stop?" she asked again.
" Not gonna happen."
Duhh! As if I can? This is my life.
Facebook is my life. Facebook is my comforter when no one else would. And I'm enjoying doing this. As they said, do what makes you happy. And this is me, doing what makes me happy.
I was busy scrolling when a name popped up in my screen, again.
" What's with the call Sean?" I asked as soon as I answered the phone.
" I knew it. I know you will ask me the same question you asked Mia earlier." He laughed
" You guys really talk to much, just please answer me because your interrupting my business." I am aware I sound annoyed.
"Interrupting your business, huh? You're not even gonna ask why I am with Mia?"
" No need, I know you're dating," I joked.
" We're what? Dude, you're crazy. I swear you are. To think I will date my cousin? You're insane. Really," sigaw niya nagpatulo sa luha ko.
" I'm just kidding. " I said trying to sound like I'm not crying. I ended the call.
This is the problem with me. Im so sensitive. I hate this but I have no choice. I was born like this and no matter how hard I try to change it. I can't, because this is me.
I wiped away my tears when someone knocked the door. I am not expecting any visitors today. Tumayo ako mula sa couch at inayos ang sarili ko. Nakakahiya namang humarap sa bisita na para kang nakipagsabunutan. I faced the mirror and fix my messy hair I also put some polbo para hindi masyadong mahalata na umiyak ako. I smiled at the mirror.
" Smile Leah, you have no choice. We're back at pretending. Be ready." I mentally said and sighed.
Pumunta ako sa pinto at binuksan. I opened it with a smile on my face. Nakatalikod pa siya. I cleared my throat to inform him that I already opened the door. He faced me.
I smiled at him " Hey du---" he didn't let me finished my sentence because he hug me. So tight.
" Im sorry." he said sincerely.
I faced him and smiled " What's wrong?" I asked pretending na hindi ko alam kung ano sinasabi niya.
He hugged me again " I didn't mean to say those words dude. Im sorry." He whispered.
" You sure you didn't mean it?" I asked him
" Okay, I mean it but I'm sorry. I just got carried away. I mean you don't sound like you're joking so I assumed you're serious. And I'm so sorry for that. I really am dude."mahinang sabi niya na hindi man lang makatingin sakin.
" Its okay. Come on in." I guided him papunta sa sofa.
" Im really sorry dude." Hinila niya ako paupo sa sofa.
" It's okay though I know you really meant it. Haha. And besides its my fault. I joked not thinking about what would be your reaction."I faked a laugh.
" You cried?" He asked out of nowhere.
" Nah! There's no reason to cry." I lied
" Dude stop lying. I heard you cried earlier before you end the call." Kunot noong aniya
" You heard me ,huh? So whats my sound? Do I sound like a goat? Pig? Cow? " I joked again trying to cover the serious mood.
" Stop fooling around Leah. I know you." he seriously said.
" No, you don't know me Sean. " I mentally said.
" Of course you know me. You're not here if you don't, Sean." I joked but he didn't laugh. He's just staring at me.
" What's with that look Sean?" I asked curiously.
" You don't have to pretend when you're with me dude. Just be you and I'll accept you." He then smiled at me.
" Who says I'm pretending dude? You're over reacting." Pinalo ko pa ang braso niya.
" When you're with me stop pretending. Please? I hate it, it feels like you are not true to me and to your self." Seryusong aniya.
" I need to pretend to cover up the pain and to protect my self." Seryusong sagot ko
" Is it hard?" he suddenly asked.
" Hard what? I dont know dude, I don't have one. Im a girl, remember?" tumawa siya sa sinabi ko. May mali ba sa sinabi ko? Tama naman ah, hindi ko naman talaga alam kasi babae ako, duh!
Pagkatapos niyang tumawa na halos makain na niya ako e sumeryuso na siya.
" What I mean is, Is it hard not to show what you really feel inside your heart,dude. Tsh! Dirty minded! Silly!" realisation bumped me.
" So stupid of you self." I mentally said.
" At first, yeah. But when the time runs and you are used to it, its not hard anymore. Sobrang dali na para samin na itago ang nararamdaman namin." I smiled at him, falsely.
" Paano mo nagagawa yon?" Biglang tanong niya ulit.
" Well, if the world left you no choice but to pretend just to save your self from all the embarass in this world. You just found yourself doing it." tumango tango siya sa sinabi ko na parang hangang hanga siya sa sinabi ko.
'Tsh! If you only know how hard it is Sean, you can't smile like that.'
" You sound like you perfected the art of it, don't you?"
" I did." I proudly said and smiled bitterly.
" Why? Masyado na bang masasakit ang mga napagdaanan mo para ma perfect mo yun?" His question reminds me of how broken I am inside.
I nod " You have no idea." I laughed bitterly.
" Then give me a clue." He smiled like he's assuring me that he can answer it correctly.
" Wag na." tumayo ako at kumuha ng tubig sa ref pero sumunod siya.
" Com'on dude. Just one clue, please?" hinarap ko siya at binigyan ng isang basong tubig.
'I can handle this. Ako pa ba!" Ngumiti ako sa kaniya pero tumitig lang siya sakin.
" I maybe don't know how broken you are inside but always remember I'm here for you. Always." He put the empty glass in the table and hugged me. I hugged him back.
" That's what dude are for." Saad ko na ikinatawa niya. Humiwalay na siya sakin at bumalik sa couch.
Papasok na sana ako sa kwarto ko nang mag ring ang cellphone ni Sean. Kinuha niya sa bulsa niya ang cellphone niya at sinagot.
" Hello? Yeah I'm with her. What? Okay we're coming." Sabi niya at ibinaba ang phone. Tumingin sya sakin.
" Who was that and why are you looking at me like that?" I curiously asked.
" It's Mia and if you already forgot, it's Jully-ann's birthday today. Kaya magbihis ka na at magpaganda dahil mala-late na tayo." He said
" Owemjee! Bakit ngayon mo lang sinabi? Kapag na late tayo kasalanan mo talaga. " Paninisi ko sa kaniya bago tuluyang pumasok sa kwarto at nagbihis.
Nagsuot lang ako ng simple. High waist black pants and fitted gray croptop na may nakasulat na malaking W.
Itinali ko ang mahaba at straight kong buhok sa toktok ng ulo ko. I put polbo and liptint only because I'm not into make ups. I only put polbo and liptint if i have something important to go. Feeling ko kasi kapag naka make-up ako ng makapal mukhang drawing book yung mukha ko. I don't know but I just hate the feeling. And for the last thing I'm going to wear is my new white shoes.
Im ready. Lumabas ako ng kwarto at naabutan ko si Sean na nasa couch nagce- cellphone. Ngayon ko lang din napansin na nakabihis siya. Sana napansin ko ng mas maaga para hindi ako makatikim ng sermon kay Jully-ann mamaya dahil late ako sa birthday party niya. Bakit kasi nakalimutan ko? Ughhh!
" Let's go?" Natauhan ako ng magsalita si Sean. Nakatayo na pala siya sa harapan ko hindi ko man lang napansin
" Yeah." I smiled.
Tahimik lang kami habang nasa daan papunta sa bahay ni Jully-ann. Si Sean ang nagd-drive dahil kotse niya to. Nakatingin lang ako sa labas ng bintana ng sasakyan niya ng basagin niya ang katahimikan.
" It looks good on you."
" Ang ano?" Nagtatakang tanong ko
" The bracelet I gave you the other day." Sabi niya habang nasa daan pa rin ang tingin.
Suot ko nga pala ang bracelet na bigay niya samin noong isang araw. He gave me, Mia, Jully-ann ang my cousin Winlab a bracelet tanda raw na mahalaga kami sa kaniya. Ang unfair niya kasi hindi niya binigyan ang kaibigan naming mga lalaki. Pero okay lang naman daw sa mga lalaki naming kaibigan dahil ang bakla raw tignan kung pati sila binigyan ni Sean. Mga baliw talaga.
" Yeah it's beautiful. Thank you para dito ah! " I sincerely said.
" Ilang beses mo na yang inulit noong isang araw. Hindi pa ba tapos?" Biro niya
Tumawa rin ako." And I'm declaring you as the MOST OF THE MOST SWEETEST FRIEND" I joked
Tumawa siya " You're funny."
I don't think so dude. No one even appreciates my presence.